Big elimination raises issues...

I know we are a few days behind on this... but Ted has given us a pretty big elimination the other day.

Dear Ted:
I know it's been a long time, but who are Judas Jack-Off and Dash Dingle-Dream, anyway? I miss you talking about them. I still think they are Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, but whatever.
—I Miss JJO and DDD

Dear Keep On Missing:
There is nothing there, and I mean nothing new. And they still aren't your dream couple. Sorry about it. Some day when it hits you, you'll chuckle to yourself, promise.

So... #1 there goes our top suspects for JJO and DDD.  We had suspected in recent months that Ted was messing with Supernatural fans on that one.  Looking back to Hayden Christensen again.

And issue #2 - then who are Jared and Jensen's BVs?  Becuase Ted has repeatedly confirmed them as being BVs in the past.  We have a lot of re-thinking to do.

See labels below for related posts.

New Awful Truth BV archive: JJO and DDD

Ted and the Awful team have created another BV archove to go along with the new JJO BV.  A Judas Jack-Off Blind Vice Archive.

If there's one Vice you all just can't get enough of it's Judas Jack-Off. We hear you loud and clear, so this week we're giving JJO his very own archive page packed with all the debauched deets on this very D.L. dude.
Here is his rarely sweet, always skanky tale:


The Perp: Judas Jack-Off
Primary Vice: Closeted actor
Blind Bio: If Judas Jack-Off weren't so damn good looking there's no way he'd be able to get away with the total a-hole crap he pulls. Like calling off his overseas wedding to his BF Dashed Dingle-Dream to shack up with his latest costar/beard (at his people's request, natch). But just because he dumped poor DDO doesn't mean JJO has stopped trying to get some on-the-side action from his former fiancé.

Great job Ted and crew for organizing another archive.  However, once again our list of who has been eliminated is more complete, and can be found here.

Blind Vice: Judas Jack-Off Goes Hetero Overload!

New from Ted on Friday 10/17-

Blind Vice: Judas Jack-Off Goes Hetero Overload!

Well, screw us with no lube, Judas Jack-Off sure has gotten more ballsy, lately! And we mean that in many dirty ways, trust.
Now, last time we checked in on poor ol' closeted Judas, he was pathetically trying to cultivate a domestic-front for the media, engaging in various exciting pastimes with his ersatz honey.
Didn't work.
In fact, Judas and his woman's shared-outing thing so colossally misfired (and Judas never got the desired press he really wanted from it), Judas has now taken to the exceptionally seedy activity of....
Cheating on his fake (female) significant other!
And not with the poor, put-upon, on/off boyfriend, Dash Dingle-Dream he usually cheats with, but, with...other women!
Frequent visitors to the place Judas and Dash most often occupy complain of seeing Judas "always" hauling in some random chick to his bedroom. "Looks pretty obvious to me what's going on," snipped a babe who's been over to the boys' hang-pad recently. "I mean, come on."
This is just beyond gross. It's bad enough Judas has tortured Dash enough with the People-mag arranged chick in his life, but, now he's got to tag on one-night stands—just in case the press finds out the real deal, that he prefers guys?
Sorry, but, this one's getting beyond anything even Shafterella Shoshstein would ever dream up for the rags! And that's saying something.
Get help, Jude. And fast. You are not well.

It Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Taylor Lautner, Vince Vaughn

Use the label below for our discussion some the other JJO and DDD BVs

Top suspects - Hayden Christensen and ?

One Daringly Domesticated Blind Vice

From Ted on Friday....

One Daringly Domesticated Blind Vice

Poor Judas Jack-Off. He now has it as bad as permanently closeted movie star Toothy Tile. Only, I fear Judas is not even pretending to be happy, quite unlike Toothy.
Remember, our very handsome and very unkind Judas is still trying to get the ditched BF to have sex, all the while out prancing to the gullible world with his gorgeous girlfriend—whenever there's an available photo op, that is.
But whereas Toothy actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids, Judas doesn't, at least not as much.
Maybe that's the reason Judas has suggested to the GF, whom he glumly now lives with, that they should both take up...
...flying. As in, in a plane. As in 37,000 feet in the air. These two beauties are supposed to take their lives in their own hands, all 2012-like, and fly over Los Angeles like it's a damn movie set, or something?
Now, either this is a true effort on Judas' part to make their prearranged living arrangement genuinely more exciting (i.e., bearable), or Mr. J.J. is planning on using one of those parachutes that go up with these schooling planes and jumping off with his after the dimpled girlfriend's chute suddenly disappears, or better, yet, malfunctions?
It's all just too weird, too much. The sudden interest in having a hobby together (and a life-threatening one, at that), after getting shacked up in a living sitch Judas has never wanted to be in the first place. What's up, Judey?
But then, some guys are just p--sies when their managers and their agents tell them to stay put and figure out how to make it look real. Know what I mean, Toothy?
Don't go up in that plane with Judas whatever you do, girlfriend!
And it ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey

Use the labels below for links to our previous posts on the JJO/DDD BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: Hayden Christensen  and ?

Blind Vice: Judas Jerks It Again!

From Ted today - a return BV subject...

Blind Vice: Judas Jerks It Again!


Ever since Judas Jack-Off made his smarmy debut, I do think it’s fair to say Toothy Tile’s been breathing a tad easier. Of course, Toothy went so far back into the proverbial closet, I think the only heavy panting T.T. ever does anymore is when he and the GF moon over Pottery Barn chenille throws together. Back to Jack-Off: The dog’s still trying to finagle the old BF into sex again—and I think he’s damn close to succeeding.
After all, Judas is impossibly sexy (some say too much so, but I think of beauty like Kate Bosworth does thinness, never can have too much of that stuff!). He’s hard to resist. Especially when he’s lying to the ditched boyfriend and telling him they can still go off and get married like they'd originally planned, only he just has to “hang out” a little bit longer with the fake girlfriend his management set him up with.
Look, you cretin publicity whore with killer dimples (I mean the ones on your rock-hard ass, not your innocent little face), you’re screwing with the feelings of a man who loves you. This ain’t no Rock Hudson movie. It’s real life. And unless you want some pathetic kind of lying, lonely ending like Hudson himself got, quit effing with people’s lives, starting with your own.
It Ain’t:
Taylor Kistch, Chris Evans, Chris Pine

* Update April 15 - Ted gave Judas' boyfriend a name - Dashed Dingle-Dream! And says we will be hearing more about him soon.



Use the labels below for links to our other posts on JJO/DDD, including a full list of who has been eliminated.



* TOP SUSPECTS: Hayden Christensen and ?

Blind Vice: Another Gay Hunk Bites the Dust

New from Ted Cansablanca Awful Truth Feb 20:

Blind Vice: Another Gay Hunk Bites the Dust


Judas Jack-Off is a stunningly beautiful star. Gorgeous hair, supple muscles, good pro résumé, too. He's also as hot as he is coy and conniving. But by comparison, let's just say J.J. makes our ever-shy, closeted movie idol Toothy Tile look like an out-and-out saint of gay liberation and openness.
See, Judas, a gangly type with flat abs and the concrete ass to go with it, was planning on marrying his boyfriend. Out of the country, mind you, but marriage just the same. To a man! You know, one of those big gay ceremonies that probably makes Ken Starr think about popping pills again.
Huge prob: Judas' myriad fans would have gone ape-crap over this happy Romeo-and-Romeo fact had they ever found out, which is exactly why Judas—at his representatives' behest—went ahead and...
...not only dumped his partner and fiancé, but he took up with his latest leading lady instead. Jeez, how 2008, already.
And all because a pile of veteran Hollywood starmakers told J.J. that his way-decent career would become about as relevant as Lindsay Lohan's alcohol ankle monitor should he get hitched to the BF. And I can't decide which is the best part of all, that every tabloid around is buying J.J.'s just-pumped-up fake romance, or that Judas had the (typical) ass-wipe nerve to go back to the poor, dumped boyfriend and want sex.
What is it about dudes and dogs? So seldom can you tell the diff.
It Ain't: Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal

* For Judas Jack Off: Ted has eliminated as of 6/29/12 - Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron, Milo Ventimiglia, Chad Michael Murray, Kellan Lutz, Taylor Kistch, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Orlando Bloom, Zac Efron, Benjamnin McKenzie, Brandon Routh, Ryan Seacrest, Michael C. Hall, Robert Buckley, Keanu Reeves, Ed Westwick, Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Gale Harold, Matt Dallas, Nick Jonas, Tom Welling, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Josh Peck, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey, Owen Wilson, George Eads, Jared Leto, Mario Lopez, Hugh Jackman, Tom Sturridge, Taylor Lautner, Vince Vaughn, Leonardo DiCaprio, Shane West, Jason Manns, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Wentworth Miller, Sean Pyfrom, Penn Badgley, Matt Bomer, George Clooney, Alexander Skarsgard,Tom Hardy

* Eliminated for Dashed Dingle Dream (boyfriend) as of 8/21/11: J.C. Chasez, Joshua Jackson, Michael Rosenbaum, Drake Bell, Robert Pattinson, Austin Nichols, Colin Farrell, Lukas Haas, Ashton Holmes, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Luke Macfarlane, Penn Badgley, Sean Pyfrom, Hunter Parrish.


* * * Ted says JJO was NOT born in the USA.

Please use the labels below to read our posts on the other JJO/DDD BVs.

* OUR TOP SUSPECTS: Hayden Christensen and ?