Sunday, October 17, 2010

Blind Vice: Judas Jack-Off Goes Hetero Overload!

New from Ted on Friday 10/17-

Blind Vice: Judas Jack-Off Goes Hetero Overload!
Well, screw us with no lube, Judas Jack-Off sure has gotten more ballsy, lately! And we mean that in many dirty ways, trust.
Now, last time we checked in on poor ol' closeted Judas, he was pathetically trying to cultivate a domestic-front for the media, engaging in various exciting pastimes with his ersatz honey.
Didn't work.
In fact, Judas and his woman's shared-outing thing so colossally misfired (and Judas never got the desired press he really wanted from it), Judas has now taken to the exceptionally seedy activity of....
Cheating on his fake (female) significant other!
And not with the poor, put-upon, on/off boyfriend, Dash Dingle-Dream he usually cheats with, but, with...other women!
Frequent visitors to the place Judas and Dash most often occupy complain of seeing Judas "always" hauling in some random chick to his bedroom. "Looks pretty obvious to me what's going on," snipped a babe who's been over to the boys' hang-pad recently. "I mean, come on."
This is just beyond gross. It's bad enough Judas has tortured Dash enough with the People-mag arranged chick in his life, but, now he's got to tag on one-night stands—just in case the press finds out the real deal, that he prefers guys?
Sorry, but, this one's getting beyond anything even Shafterella Shoshstein would ever dream up for the rags! And that's saying something.
Get help, Jude. And fast. You are not well.

It Ain't: Tom Sturridge, Taylor Lautner, Vince Vaughn

Use the label below for our discussion some the other JJO and DDD BVs

Top suspects - Hayden Christensen and ?

14 comments:

talia said...

after this post i'd say that jensen ackles is jjo... cause he was the one with the people-mag-wedding...

The Spie said...

Hmmmm, Talia's right. This does sound like Jensen is Judas. He and Harris have a lot more pub about them than Jared and Cortese. The only way out of this one might be if JJO's female SO gets a BV name. Considering Harris' relationship with Ted, she'd get off on that. But whether Ted would do that is another question.

The first two BVs implied Jared; the second two imply Jensen. I have this feeling that the theories we had about Ted at first not knowing which one was which may have been correct, and now that he does know, he's firmly fixed on Jensen as Judas.

And can we please not have a J2 Tinhat invasion on this thread? The last one went to 900 responses and caused the Sisters to perform mouse extermination thanks to this.

Anonymous said...

Also, in the past when asked someone wrote ted in a BB, they asked about Jensen's Blind Vice and Ted's reply back began with Dear Cooterville...kinda a hint i think, but i may be reaching.

kcwin said...

Ted is careful not to utter the word marriage ('domestic-front' is as close as he would go), but since the usual suspects Jensen/Jared are married, why would they (whichever is JJO) even want the (gossip) press to know they have old-night stands after getting married? Or do they just want the news to spread within some Hollywood circle to up their hetero cred? I hardly see People reporting on this unless the wives file for divorce based on the cheating. Do they really want a hetero cheating bad boy rep that much? How would any of this even help their careers, which is what all the faking is all for, right?

heather_p said...

Let's say Jensen is JJO. Ted is implying that the marriage didn't give him the boost in publicity he wanted and even the forced public outings are backfiring. If they divorce, instead of people being able to assume it's because he's gay, he now has the excuse of the affairs with other women. And a "hetero cheating bad boy rep" still allows you to play the Hollywood heartthrob, whereas the closeted gay actor having an ongoing relationship with his co-star (sadly) does not.

Also, someone on the E boards pointed out that Ted's reference of the "place Judas and Dash most often occupy" could easily mean their trailer(s) on set and not their place of residence. That would make more sense for flaunting your affairs anyway, especially if the point is to get people talkig about how hetero you are. And it would also fit with the idea that Ted's source is most likely someone who works on the show.

MelB said...

I really hope Ted gets some questions this week to clarify the situation. This latest BV had very little to say about DDD or the beards. Although I guess Ted obliquely confirmed that they work together? Not sure about that.

I'd like to know if Judas is really sleeping with these women or is he pulling a Toothy and just making it appear like he's sleeping around? If Judas is Jensen, I'm sure he doesn't lack for female attention. I just find Jensen, on screen and with his wife, to be chemistry-less with women.

SavageGrace said...

I think Jenson is Judas and Jared is Dash.

And I think Judas is faking the one-night stands - probaby paying the women off and just making it look like they were doing something.

JMO! =)

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Who has more experience as an actor, Judas or Dingle?
—af bluerafael
TWITTER: Follow Ted

Dear Blind-Boy Besting:
Uh, neither? Make me laugh, boyfriend. But to be technical about it, Judas."

"Dear Ted:
Wasn't the last thing we heard about Jude and Dash that they were back together? And now Jude is supposedly getting all hot and heavy with random women at his and Dash's main hangout? Does he do that in front of Dash? Also what the ever-loving frak does he think he's getting out of that PR-wise? Who's giving him PR advice, his bodyguard? Or are you telling us that Jude is preparing a public breakup with his beard, and Dash is in on it? One final question—you called out to Jude to get help. What kind do you think he needs most? Good PR, supportive friends or rehab?
—Agusta

Dear Too Many Questions!
Look, babe, I'm as horrified as you by Jude's recent behavior. And I really think there's only one thing to be done here: Go back to the good man who used to love him who might—just might—be able to love him again."

"Dear Ted:
In a recent B.B., you said that "neither" Dashed nor Judas had more experience as an actor. Does that mean they have the same amount of experience as each other, or that neither of them have that much compared to more experienced stars like, say, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Every time you mentioned these star-crossed boys, I get more intrigued!
—Em

Dear Good Question:
Dashed and Judas are no Brangelina, by no means whatsoever. One has real experience, but not enough to classify as real if you know what I mean. Keep up the ‘triguing tude!"

"Dear Ted:
Do you realize that you are jumping all over the place with the Judas Jack-Off B.V.? In a recent B.B. you suggested that he and Dashed don't have much acting experience, but in the first Judas B.V. you said he had a good pro resume. Which is it? I'm thinking you are trying to throw us off track, but if these two are really not actors can you just not Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki already?
—CH

Dear Jacking Off:
Not jumping around at all. Judas, certainly, is a star. He's been in some majorass stuff. That said, he hasn't really impressed me with his acting (and I'm not alone on that opinion). Does that answer your question?"

Unknown said...

Um. WHOA.

Did Ted just basically confirm it? I don't recall him ever publishing a "please tell me if BV is XYZ" and NOT denying it before. Unless, that is, if you count the outright confirmations.

Maybe I'm wrong here but that just screams "I wanna tell you you're right but I'm not about to say so out loud."

Yes? No?

The Spie said...

Sorry about the delay, Single, but Ted's done this exact type of response before with Nevis Divine and Terry Tush-Trade, especially Nevis. He's had multiple indignant Robstenites write to him asking him to AIA RPattz as Nevis and he's refused. We usually regard this type of response as a semi-confirmation.

Parrot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Parrot said...

As much as I love supernatural....Im real about the boys and their career. Outside of the show and its massive fandom (of mostly women and very few straight fanboys) they dont have a very good career and it doesnt look like they'll have one anytime soon. Their just not getting cast the way they should...that being said...I dont see how any of this is going to "make them a star". I mean Jesus,are they THIS delusional to think that THESE TYPES OF SHENANIGANS to gain bad boy cred will take them to the top? I seriously doubt its the boys from supernatural.They cant be THIS stupid.

Anonymous said...

I think JJO is Jared. In one of his columns he called him 'gangly' and said something about his dimples and muscular body. These are def references to JJO and not DDO, who isn't gangly, nor does he have major muscles or dimples at all.

Anonymous said...

Wow, admitting my own comment is so stupid and messed up. Ted said these things. And these are definitely references to Jared, and not Jensen, who isn't gangly, nor does he have major muscles or dimples at all. Sorry. I heard thing a bit differently inside my own head. duh.

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