Saturday, October 2, 2010

Vintage BV - Slurpina Regina & Smiley Fakeit

Here's a vintage for the weekend...

One Hair-Raising Blind Vice - June 15, 2005

Slurpina Regina is renowned for doing what guys love the most, and usually chicks don't. And, no, I'm not talking about bottom-line boinking. Get your minds outta the gonzo gutter, already. I'm not that bad. Yet.
Slurp, for short (just like her), broke up not long ago with her cute man, Smiley Fakeit. Now, though S. 'n' S. have both made a killing in their chosen professions, it's rather ironic that neither of them are a bit like the public thinks.
But then that goes for the majority of Hollywood, doesn't it?
Back to the broken-up honeys: Like many romantic fools, Slurp and Smiley have attempted post-split friendship. Rarely works, right? As one or the other partner is usually still hooked. Just like our talented gal, Slurp.
So, there S.S. is at S.F.'s hillside Hell-Ay-area abode, swinging with the young and the Beemer-driving set. And oh, look! It's a pajama party! How retro-Hef! Last one in the fake-rock Jacuzzi is an underwearing-equipped egg!
Amidst the heavy-duty, NC-17 smooching and groping, Smiley flirts with Slurp just enough to keep her hooked. Throws out a few "love ya's" just to keep that passive-aggressive tether tight, doncha know. What a highlighted canine.
 Unbeknownst to Ms. Regina, there at the poke-adelic party is a dude who would die to do her right. And not just there at the stupid-ass themed soiree. The morning after. And the one after that, he professes to one of Smiley's good chums. But the amigo says, no, back off, Smiley wants to get back together with Slurp.
Bummer.
Bigger bummer: Not long after a naively hopeful Slurpina departs, her anonymous love wannabe walks into Mr. F.'s boudoir to say good night. Of course, he's busy doing you know what to some random babe from the party.
Dudes--they're dogs, just like I said. 

And It Ain't: Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe, Nicky Hilton/Kevin Connolly, Mischa Barton/Brandon Davis
Also eliminated were: Eva Longoria/J.C. Chasez (slightly too famous), Orlando Bloom/Kate Bosworth, Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama, Seth Green.

47 comments:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Much love to you and your wonderful Blind Vices! Tell me if I have guessed correctly: Slurpina Regina from One Hair-Raising Blind Vice is Eva Longoria and Smiley Fake-It is JC Chasez, right? Sounds pretty close to me.
Beth
Michigan

Dear Ass-Lover:
Amour right backatcha, sweetie! Are you readers in a good mood this week, or what? Would have thought Tom and Katie's frog-and-pony show would have turned everybody into crankathons right now--so glad that's not the case! Regardless, ain't Eva and JC, excellent guesses though they may be. Slightly too famous...slightly."


"Dear Ted:
I'm guessing your Hair-Raising Blind Vice couple is none other than Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth.
Robin

Dear Bloomin' Mad:
Uh, hardly. Sugarcakes, I'm talkin' about kissy-kissy crapola away from the cameras (when Hollywood's heartbreakers really pump away). "


"Dear Ted,
My current undergraduate group (consisting of a gorgeous bunch of seven buff boys and girls aged 22-25) took a vote with regards to last week's Blind Vice. The girls (Cate, Shaheema and Lauren) voted for Lindsay and Wilmer, because she seems needy, and the boys (Drew, Alec, Neale and Phil) voted for someone called Seth Green, because he looks like a weasel. Oh, the callous brutality of youth!


What's with you dirty dingo types this week? You need to call up Kathy Hilton and learn some fake manners, already. Wrong on both salacious scores. Lindsay and Seth are not boinking their exes in the Hollywood Hills, at least as far as I know. And Seth, by the by, is actually cute. Not to mention talented."

blurry vice said...

Top guesses were Kirsten Dunst and Jake G. However, we know Jake G is Toothy. Also Ted told us they were less famous than JC Chasez and Eva Longoria.

The Spie said...

How about this one: Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams? Divorced in 2004, supposedly tried the friends routine, slightly less famous than Chasez/Longoria on my scale (you may debate this), and that first line of Ted's about her doing what guys like but most women don't...doesn't that summarize the girl-on-girl that made her an ex-Miss America?

pomme said...

I'm french and this BI is imcomprehensible to me!

Viking Girl said...

And I'm British and it's incomprehensible to me!

Michelle said...

Not sure, Spie....Williams big scandals were in the 80s and this couple sounds younger than that to me. Also, I'm not sure the descriptions match up.

He mentions the girl is short and that the guy has highlights. Is that taking anybody back to 2005? :) Was thinking maybe ScarJo and Josh Hartnett for this? But I guess they would be way too famous. But that is the "type" I am thinking of.

Rita, Montreal said...

Sometimes when Ted is saying for example, it is not Linday Lohan & Nicole Ritchie, it means it is not those two together, but one of them with someone else!

So could it be that it is Eva Longoria and that Extra dude with the muscles? He was on dancing with the stars, but in 2005 was "slightly less famous than J.C. Chasez":Mario Lopez, renowned horn-dog?

talia said...

this
"Slurpina Regina is renowned for doing what guys love the most, and usually chicks don't. "
and that:
"have both made a killing in their chosen professions"
makes me think that it's not about an actress... maybe an athlete...?

heather said...

Could this have been Jude Law and Sienna Miller? This BI was right around the time that Jude had his nanny affair.......

heather said...

Or maybe Nicole Richie and DJ Adam Goldstein?

Although what do you think he meant by "renowned for doing what guys love, and girls usually don't"? I'm guessing that has to do with what makes her a celebrity. Something non-sexual that women usually have no intrest in doing......

cassandra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Spie said...

heather: Jude Law has been semi-revealed to be Jake Fake. Nicole Richie is Pixie Mixie. So, no to both.

Clancy said...

As soon as I read this I thought of Paris Hilton. There are numerous references to dogs, could be a reference to her penchant for carrying her dogs around; "swinging with the young and the Beemer-driving set", very PH; "renowned for doing what guys love most, and usually chicks don't" could be pole-dancing/stripper behaviour in clubs which would turn guys on and make women gossip bitterly; NC-17 - this is a long shot but Paris and Nicky were on the cover of Seventeen magazine in spring 2005...could it be Paris H and either Stavros Niarchos or Paris Latsis? Both of whom she was dating/engaged to around 2005/6.

Clancy said...

Hmm, perhaps she was already a well-established vice by this time...

Clancy said...

Okay, if even Eva Longoria/J.C. Chasez are slightly too famous for this it ain't gonna be Paris. How about Hilary Duff and Aaron Carter? Timeline may be a bit askew though. Here's what Wiki says:

"Duff began dating singer Aaron Carter in 2001. The relationship lasted two years. It was reported that Carter left Duff for Lindsay Lohan, but soon broke up with Lohan and resumed dating Duff. Carter later stated that he also cheated on Duff with her best friend, and that Duff "got her heart broken" and he was "sorry" for his actions."

Going by Ted's title ("Hair-raising") and that the guy has highlights in his hair, I think we should be thinking guys with noticeable hair, whether it's big, say spiky, or unnaturally fake. I was wondering whether 'amigo' may be alluding to his ethnicity. Made me think of Adrien Grenier for a second there.
I thought maybe 'poke-adelic' may be relating to poker - who's known to be into poker? Is this an Entourage thing? (Don't watch it).
Sounds like he's a Hef wannabe.
I'm all over the shop here but perhaps these thoughts may just jog someone's memory.
Dogs seem like a definite clue. "Dudes--they're dogs, just like I said." Wolverine? Marley & Me? Owen Wilson?

I think this clue is pertinent too:

"Now, though S. 'n' S. have both made a killing in their chosen professions, it's rather ironic that neither of them are a bit like the public thinks."

"S. 'n' S" makes me think it's a bit of a brand name, a la Posh 'n' Becks. Also if it's ironic neither of them are like the public thinks, they're probably in business being sweet, cute things and wild behind the scenes. Perhaps we should be thinking cute and smiley on screen/stage, which would fit Hilary D and Aaron Carter. Hmmm...

Clancy said...

Marley & Me was 2008, scrap that. Damn these vintage blind vices, it's hard to keep the year in mind!

Renee said...

First time poster--and I LOVE THIS SITE!!!

I'm sorry, this may be the wrong place to post this, but from today's BB--any ideas?

Dear Ted:
No names of course, but to your knowledge, have any "casting couch" castings resulted in a Best Actress Oscar win? (Or, to be fair, Best Actor?) I still have a hard time thinking of the most famous and respected actresses out there participate, but as you always say, it is Hollywood.
—Justine

Dear Bingo:
Yes, and a very famous one directly resulted several years ago. Think pink.


Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b203528_bitch-back_50_cent_used_quarter_of_his.html#ixzz11OGSb3jb

Viking Girl said...

Renee - this caught my eye as well. I've written to Ted for some clarification, because I don't think I understood what he was saying exactly. Did he mean that the actor got a role that looked to have Oscar potential, or that the actual voting for the winner was 'influenced' by 'services rendered'? I'm not too familiar with how the Oscar system works. I hope he answers.

Rita, Montreal said...

Viking and RenĂ©e, I think Ted is abviously confirming that an actor/actress won an oscar after «auditioning» for a gig. The role is in relation with «thinking Pink»???

Pretty in Pink?? Or legally Blonde`s Reese Witherspoon who finally got one casting-couch performance right and landed Walk the talk (or something like that, which won her the oscar)

roseyf said...

Or it could be Gwyneth Paltrow, who wore pink when she won in 1999. (I think she's a bad actress, and was so shocked when she won, so I may be a little biased.)
But agreed, I think it meant the person "auditioned" for the role that got them the Oscar.

roseyf said...

Even better, "Shakespeare in Love", the movie Gwyneth won her Oscar for, was produced by Harvey Weinstein who is known to use the casting couch method. According to Wikipedia, Julia Roberts pulled out 6 weeks before shooting so I bet there was quite the scramble to get that part.

Rita, Montreal said...

Roseyf - BRILLIANT! makes so much sense! Hope the sisters open a blind for this little hint in the Bitch Backs.

Viking Girl said...

Wow. Good work. Thanks ladies! It does seem obivious now. *slaps self*

Ha ha, it makes my question to Ted redundant (and just a little silly). Still, let's see if he answers it.

Tara said...

I commented on this under Bernadine Couch Butt this morning, because it seems all too perfect; there are a couple discrepancies with it, but it fits as a huge clue to the survivor-what do you think? Head to that forum to comment:)

hordac said...

I too thought this referred to Gwynnie due to the Think Pink clue. That dress that made her look like she the smallest, saggiest boobs. She was really panned for wearing it. I'll have to head over to the couch butt thread.

Clancy said...

I remember she was a bit of an upset win that year too. She was up against C. Blanchett and M.Streep.

Tara said...

I think Rita, you are on to something with the Mario Lopez guess. But I think the chick would be Ali Landry. Ali would make sense because it would be the right timing after the '04 annullment and breakup and it was well known he cheated at his bachelor party. Maybe he lied his way to being on good terms with her and was thinking he would get back in her good graces to win her back; but was still off humping anything that moves, all while stringing her along promising who knows what if they gave it another go. He is slime.

The "renowned for doing what guys love most, and usually chicks don't" would be her modeling and Miss USA career/Dorito chick/Maxim girl; girls don't like other girls getting paid to be hot for their boyfriends and husbands.

Rachel said...

In terms of Ted's "mini-blind" about the Best Actress winner, I think it is Marion Cotilliard. Her film, "La Vie en Rose" translates to "My life in Pink". I know she's not that famous but her winning the Oscar after getting the role for sexual favors makes that Vice-worthy.

Rita, Montreal said...

Quick Rachel, cross your fingers and wish Lainey did not read your comment: she looooves her Marion!

Team S said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rita, Montreal said...

I think that Ted has already nixed any of the Kardashians being a blind...

Clancy said...

Think Pink could possibly also relate to a breast cancer survivor. Not sure if other countries besides Australia relate pink to breast cancer research/awareness though.

I always thought Harvey W was gay...

Viking Girl said...

I hope this is ok to post here, this is from Laineys Live blog ( 5th Oct.)

LaineyGossipAdmin:

Hi everyone. We’re starting off the Live Blog with some questions that came in through email. Here goes!

Question from Jennifer K: Lainey, I really want to know whether the Gwyneth/ Weinstein rumor surrounding Shakespeare in Love is more fact or fiction? Any other casting couch situations you or Sarah can hint at? Poles rule- Hi Jacek
From Jennifer K

Answer from Lainey: That’s a rumour everyone wants to believe. Because it really is so smutty. That Gwyneth allegedly f-cked Weinstein to get Viola and go on to win her Oscar after stealing the script from Winona Ryder’s house. I’m not convinced of this... simply because of Paltrow’s pedigree. Steven Spielberg is her godfather. And in retrospect, given what we now know of Winona, which many people in the industry would have known about for a long time before it became public, and on the heels of Gwyneth’s lovely performance in Emma, the legitimacy of that entire story has become rather shaky. As for other casting couch situations... well... I believe I’ve already hinted at a major, major one, the fruits of which can currently be seen.

http://laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_05oct10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

Tara said...

Anyone have anything to say about Mario Lopez (from Rita) with Ali Landry for this Smiley Fakeit/Slurpina Regina blind?

**You might want to request a separate thread for the casting couch/Gwyneth conversation; or choose the most relevant thread; like the Goop blind or the Rough Patch blind; they are both Lainey and would keep the sisters happy so all conversations stay mostly on topic:)

roseyf said...

Ali Landry/Mario Lopez don't seem right to me.

I thought Ali was the one who broke it off with Mario because he cheated at his bachelor party - doesn't quite make sense that he'd be the one still be leading her on.

And they were married/divorced in April/May 2004 and she was already semi-irrelevant then, so I doubt she was A-list enough in 2005 for Ted to write a blind about her.

I don't have a good other guess though. Were there any high-profile "themed parties" in spring/summer 2005? That might narrow it down since it says the party was at the guy's house.

Kate16 said...

I was wondering what the BV sisters think about creating a post entry called "Bitch-Back Clues and Random Musings" or something similar?
So when something like the Think Pink clue pops up, you can discuss it there? This happened to me a while ago when I was sure there was a BV that a new clue matched, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the BV.

Tara said...

I think that's a great idea, Kate. Sisters, is it possible to create a general non-specific thread like this?

Delilah Day said...

What about Hayden P and that Milo guy?

Clancy said...

Who are the sisters?

lollapopalooza said...

@Delilah Day Hayden P is thought to be Dommy Do Rightly http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/search/label/Dommy%20Do-Rightly

Tara said...

They run the site, Clancy:)

Clancy said...

Ta Tara, do they contribute? Are you one? :)

mo-mo said...

Hi Clancy, we four sisters are listed on the side of the page, and yes we do contribute! :)
Renee and VikingGirl: as commenter Tara said, we prefer that you stick to the topic of the BV in that BV's discussion thread. If you want to comment on a random mentioning (like Think Pink) you could go to the discussion thread for "List of Ted's BV reveals" (you can find it in the "labels" section on the right.) Or you can add it to the most related BV / recent celeb-labeled item... so for the recent Lainey item on GP, you could add it under most recent GP tagged item... adding to the general discussion about her there. Make sense? Check out the labels section, or use the search field at the top of the page to help you find something.
All other bitch-back clues are added to their specific BV discussion thread. Hope that helps!
Thanks for reading everyone!

Clancy said...

Ah mo-mo, I didn't see your names there, thank you.

Adrienne said...

The timing was too perfect... could it be Cox and Arquette??

The Spie said...

What timing? This blind is from 2005.

Gabby said...

Did anyone see the interview Gwyneth gave recently about being "appalled" when she was asked to do the casting couch? Hmmm...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1318934/Gwyneth-Paltrow-offered-film-role-sex-Hollywoods-casting-couch.html

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