Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Blind Vice: Nelly Fang Name-Checks His Junk!

New from Ted yesterday -



Blind Vice: Nelly Fang Name-Checks His Junk!


True Blood Rolling Stone Poster Skarsgard, Moyer, PaquinFor all the ladies who broke down with angry tears once you found out how the very hot vampire star Nelly Fang also likes to do it with boys, we have very good news: Gorgeous Nelly's cheating on his beard girlfriend with...girls! Tons of 'em!
Oh, those good-looking Hollywood studs, just never know what they're going to do with their privates, huh?
Well, get this: Nelly also has a name for his extremely well-used private parts. Want to know what it is?
The Captain!
Oh, this is too much. But, I think we're actually kinda into it, sort of fits Nelly's fun-loving, free-spirit personality. But, here are the deets:
Recently, Nelly's been working on his latest project (he has a ton lately), The Chrysanthemum Coffin, and the predominantly fake gf—who he does sometimes occasionally take a romp with, mind you—has been to visit him on set. But, whenever that tired girlfriend of his vanishes, Nelly pulls into his trailer with whichever chick is willing.
And, trust us, that be a lotta chicks, who always get a little after-sex show, courtesy of Nelly.
"The Captain got the job done!" Nelly will scream and moan, right after he's completed satisfying his lady friend (and himself). Or perhaps he'll say, rhetorically, "How 'bout that Captain, huh?"
This is funnier than Russell Crowe talking about himself in third person during sex—"Go, Russ, Go!," he is rumored to say.
And for those of you who are grimacing and wondering how perfect-specimen Nelly could ruin such a great moment (as the dude is totally great, in all departments), let us assure you once you've been in Mr. Fang's arms, no utterances, no matter how dorky, can deflate the moment—or his.
And It Ain't: Tom Cruise, Denis O'Hare, Paul Wesley

Ted also included a link to this video below the BV: 

See the label below for a link to the previous Nelly Fang BV including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Alexander Skarsgard.

55 comments:

Alissa said...

I wonder if he asks them to scream and moan "oh captain, my captain" as well. I also hope the captain is wearing a rain coat.

Rita, Montreal said...

Héhé! very funny Alissa, at least this time around it's a sea Captain, not one playing around in the woods with little journalists!

It is reassuring that he's not really into his little blondie. Maybe they are both using each other for publicity?

Rita, Montreal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SVM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rita, Montreal said...

SVM - although a timeline had previously proven that Alexander is Nelly, in this BV Ted talks about the fake gf, not wife. Am guessing Marky Mark is out for Nelly. Although am sure he is another vice.

SVM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

yesterday

"Dear Ted:
You never did answer my question:) In a previous BB you referred to Nelly Fang's "missus," you didn't use the phrase "significant other" or "girlfriend". So does this mean that Nelly is a married man? My rescue mutt puppy, Bucky, wants to know.
—J

Dear OMG:
Just for you J., how about I do a Nelly Fang Bonus Blind later today? Have some fabulous dish regarding that "missus" of his."

blurry vice said...

SVM -

Please in the future do not post entire blind items under a completely non-related blind item. Please be patient until we put it up and then discuss it under that one. We do not always get blind items up right away and/or at all. But it is distracting to everyone when this item is about Alexander Skarsgard.

This discussion is for NELLY FANG.

blurry vice said...

SVM - the post is up for the new Lainey riddle. Also, as stated elsewhere on this webiste, please resist the need to alert us by e-mail about new blind items. We have other jobs besides this blog and will put up what we feel like, regardless of what/when people alert us to anything.
And again, no copying an entire blind item under a different one, just to "kinda ask blurry to post it". It is unneccessary and distracting to everyone else.

Jen said...

All I have to say is I just saw Zoolander again and totally forgot Alexander Skarsgard plays Meekus. Ridiculous!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mGVNySpCaA

SVM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gennyp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...

I just want to say thank you to the sisters for taking time out of your busy lives to post when you can! It is very much appreciated by the regulars and most newcomers as well. SVM please keep it respectful towards the owners of this site. They are very busy, and I think you might have misunderstood Blurry's tone. The last thing they need is to be reminded by us what is out there--as the creators of the site they kinda know what's up.

SVM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
88 said...

Don't know what happened with SVM, but I do want to also say thank you to Blurry for this awesome site! I don't even read other BI blogs anymore because I like how organized this one is, lol, so I can wait for new posts. =)

That being said, Askars ftw! Also, I don't get how all these gay guys also sleep with girls....and enjoy it. Are they actually gay or bi? Anyways, good luck to him and Kate either way!

88 said...

^ ALL the sisters, not just Blurry...sorry ladies! =)

paperkite said...

I don't understand the video clue. Was Elizabeth Reaser one of the women coming and going from Nelly's trailer or is Nelly one of the Twilight people?

Confused.

Cathy said...

Totally agree with Tara and 88! And I'm sure it's not fun to be the enforcer, but the guidelines that the sisters have make it much easier for all of us to have discussions. Imagine how much of a pain it would be if every user posted comments that were off-topic... it would be almost as much of a mess as Ted's comment sections!

sistah2 said...

Who is AS's beard?

kadixonlaw said...

ASkar's beard is Kate Bosworth, if I'm not mistaken.

Rita, Montreal said...

Yep, Kate Bosworth.
Also, as ted has previously stated in many Bitch Backs, Beards do get some nookie from their Bearded fellows. Or Beardees?...?

Tara said...

True, Cathy! I would never be able to sift through Ted's comments and expect to have a meaningful discussion. I was reading some the other day, and apparently on every Twilight related post, there is a "Nikki Reed Troll" who continues to post unnecessary crud. Thank goodness we don't have to deal with that here!

Caz1310 said...

Don't know which I find more disturbing...Captain or Go Russ Go. I'll look at both fellas a little differently now. There's a photo of ASkars and Kate coming out of a supermarket on E and hot damn he looks good. I was at my local Coles last night and noone looked like that. I obviously shop in the wrong places LOL.

Tara said...

Caz, I think ASkars being hot makes it less creepy. Russell, no thanks, unless it was 10 years ago.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Does Nelly Fang's beard have a Blind Vice of her own, or has she appeared as a guest star in someone else's?
—Amanda F., NYC


Dear What's in a Name:
Again, beard (as we typically use it here in the A.T.) isn't so much the right term since they certainly get it on—unlike Topher, above. Still, Nelly is getting it from everyone on the side, and we have a feeling she isn't lonely at night, either. Nelly's lady has appeared in another B.V., but she doesn't have her own.

Dear Ted:
After your last Nelly Fang Blind Vice, is it OK if I make a prediction? I predict that Nelly will announce that he's engaged to his girlfriend of one year, after all, isn't Valentine's Day supposed to be their one-year anniversary? Did you notice the convenient photo op they set up?
—Grandma

Dear Gossiping Granny:
I share in your prediction. If not by Valentine's, soon."

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b225034_caught_kate_bosworth_hangs_with.html

hordac said...

Oh, this BV just makes ASkars hotter to me. Wish I could be his beard! I'm obvioulsy too fat for him though!! LOL...

Rita said...

I think in Hollywood you have to be bisexual. Look at Reese Witherspoon, sex was means-to-an-end (spelling??)

Only time would tell if Alex was trying to «purge» his gay reputation by sleeping around, or he really likes the ladies.

Just like that High School Musical kid... the pretty one?

Unfortunately, like John Travolta, true nature would fully take precedence around his 40's, where he doesn't want to pretend anymore.

Tara said...

Rita, there ARE a few odd similarities between Travolta in the early days and Efron! Good call on that comparison. True, you can only stifle the "gay" for so long, it does not go away by forcing yourself to sleep with a member (or 500) of the opposite sex. ASkars seems to be a narcissist (aren't they all?) who gets off on people who worship him, so who cares whether they have a wang or a clam?! God complex.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So even though just a few days ago you told us that Nelly Fang has been cheating on his lady left and right, you think he'd going to propose? Why? To throw her off the trail? My handsome golden wants to know!
—jkidera03

Dear Nelly Suspicious:
Wish he would propose to me! Don't think he's trying to throw her off, or even put a ring on it just yet. Waiting to see how this one plays out and if his players really do play, all the time!"

"Dear Ted:
What has happened to Kate Bosworth?! She used to be so pretty and fresh and act in top movies. Now her lips are grossly pumped up, she wears tacky clothes and the same smelly brown boots everywhere. And her career? What career? And what's with that cheap, Jewelmint jewelry line of hers. It must really kick her butt how happy the lovely Orlando Bloom and his beautiful little family are.

Dear Buzzing About Bosworth:
Kate is adorable, but let's be real, she is most famous for Blue Crush, not exactly what we would call a top movie. True, the jewelry line is doing nothing for her comeback, and the poor gal seemed to be all over the headlines when she dropped a bunch of weight after Crush. That said, she's still a sweet gal, just with the totally wrong guy."

Rita said...

Tara - don't Travolta and Effron have the same pretty boy, dark hair, amazing blue eyes at the same age?

Poor guys. From now on, I will be encouraging every Quinto movie that comes out. We know he is gay, we know he doesn't want to pretend and have a beard, but we we still think he's hot and watch his movies!

Vive la Liberté d'expression!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've noticed that you've been mentioning that it's a poor match between Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth. I'm sorry if I missed some earlier dirt, but

why? I've heard various rumors that he is gay. Could that have anything to do with it? Makes no difference to me; I'll still lust after him, either way.
--Trubie

Dear Bloodthristy:
Poor match only because he will eat that pretty little bony thing alive, literally (if he hasn't already)! She's just no match, in any regard. Move on, Kate,

and leave him to the rest of us who know what to do with the hunk! And for the record, I think you should ask Alexander if he's gay, not me. But quite

frankly, I don't care, either."

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b229750_has_alexander_skarsgaringrd_outgrown.html

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Any news on Nelly Fang? Now that his movie is over, have his bedroom escapades stopped? I really hope they don't because I'm hoping to snag a little

offscreen time.
—D

Dear Bad Boy Syndrome:
Please, a vampire can't change his (or her) fangs. He most certainly is getting what he wants on the side. But you know what? I think the missus is, too."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
You've previously stated that celebs have contacted you regarding Blind items you write about them. My question is about Nelly Fang. Do he or his GF know that you are writing about him? If he does, has he contacted you about it?
—D0li

Dear Dirty Business:
If he/she knew of Fang's business they would be in contact stat. Hasn't happened yet, but you know I'll be overly open to hearing that side of the story. Their relaysh is en route to a breakup anyway."

blurry vice said...

repeat elim

"Dear Ted:
Me and my three adorable pups so love your column! Anyway, I think I figured some Vices out: Heather Morris is Lorin Sniffle-Puss and Nelly Fang is Ian

Somerhalder? Am I right?
—Maia

Dear Guesses Galore:
Sorry, M, but you're wrong on both accounts. Closer on one than the other though...much closer, actually. It's like you've almost sunk your teeth into it."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm depressed, you've had great success at quitting cigarettes and I've been failing miserably. Cheer me up please, tell me what Nelly Fang has been up to

these days. Take care!
—GossipyGirl

Dear Don't Give Up:
Hey, even though I don't currently smoke, I've smoked—and quit—a billion times. Just currently much happier not smoking, a day at a time. Maybe I'll smoke

one day, just not now. Don't put to much pressure on yourself, G.G., and know that Nelly Fang has sex a lot like I currently don't smoke: happily, freely."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
All this True Blood Season 4 Premiere scoop is getting me all hot and bothered for my favorite Viking vampire and the man who plays him, Alexander Skarsgård. Has he been up to his Vicey ways lately? And does Kate Bosworth know about his Vice and just deal with it, or is she in denial? Sort of like I am in denial that they are even an "item," if you can call it that. Anyway, me and my kitty and puppy love your column and would love some scoop on the Skars!
—Court

Dear Viking Vicer:
Alex's star is on the rise, so, of course, his Vice is too. The more famous he gets tho, the harder he works to keep his dirty little secret just that—well, sometimes at least. And babe, I'd be shocked if K.B. didn't at least have a sneaking suspicion of what her BF is up to. Not that she'd care."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Can you please give more info on Alexander Skarsgård's vices. At least a hint? Throw a girl a bone please...
—J

Dear Skars Lover:
Let's just say he's unafraid in the sexiest way possible and doesn't care who notices. Totally hot, right?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted,
Did you have it bad for Alexander Skarsgård before or after his Blind Vice?
—Betty

Dear Love at First Sight:
Oh before, baby. The moment I set eyes on him."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
With True Blood just ending, The Vampire Diaries about to start up again, the latest Twilight coming out soon and Buffy about to return to TV, is there any

dish on what our favorite Vicey vampire Nelly Fang has been up to lately?
—Blondie

Dear Fangtasm:
Nothing particularly juicy—well, at least by Nell's standards. Oh, he's definitely out getting his skank on (same as always), but he's been keeping it quiet

instead of displaying his usual, voyeuristic tendencies. How boring of him, no?"

Rita said...

I think Ted totally outed Skarsgard's Blind Moniker today:
Dear Ted:
Those Robsten fans are cray-cray! So let's move on to another sexy vampire: Alexander Skarsgård. What's up with his constant partying and drinking? It is one thing to have a little single fun, but it's quite another to party to drunkenness on a nearly daily basis and brag about it in interviews, especially when his mother is working hard to bring light to addiction issues. Is there something we A.Skars fans should be worried about?
—Lexi
Dear Nervous Nellie:
Fear not, Lex, our fave True Blood hottie is just making the most of his single status. Work hard and play harder as they say! And remember, Alex lives to stir the pot, one reason why we heart him so.

NERVOUS NELLIE??!

Ashley said...

I completely agree Rita, I wonder if the sisters will count this as a reveal.

KaDixonLaw said...

I read the BB's this morning and totally missed that! That's a great catch, Rita! I doubt that Ted would be that careless, so it had to be intentional. Very cool!

Rita said...

Thanks guys! I don't know what is up with the Awful Truth lately. Ted's has been quite transparent, at times even POINTING at the blind vicers, also there will be no more Bitch Backs, but a.m. and p.m. mail. A change I don't consider to exciting, or even for the best, it steals from Ted's usual obnoxious yet fun bitchiness. I wonder if he's about to leave the AT?

blurry vice said...

note the nervous "nellie" -

"Dear Ted:
Those Robsten fans are cray-cray! So let's move on to another sexy vampire: Alexander Skarsgård. What's up with his constant partying and drinking? It is one
thing to have a little single fun, but it's quite another to party to drunkenness on a nearly daily basis and brag about it in interviews, especially when his mother is working hard to bring light to addiction issues. Is there something we A.Skars fans should be worried about?
—Lexi

Dear Nervous Nellie:
Fear not, Lex, our fave True Blood hottie is just making the most of his single status. Work hard and play harder as they say! And remember, Alex lives to stir the pot, one reason why we heart him so.

Dear Ted:
Say I were to do a Blind Vice lineup, arranging Vicers from tallest to shortest. Out of Nelly Fang, Dashed Dingle Dream and Jackie Bouffant who would be in
the middle?
—Mike

Dear Super Sleuth:
Height-wise, Dashed Dingle Dream would fall smack dab in the middle."

blurry vice said...

Just catching up for the week and saw it. Very exciting! Not counting it as a reveal though. Remember, Ted messes with his readers. Even if Askars is not Nelly, he knows that we think he is. So he throws that out there to stir the pot.

Regardless, reader "Spie" already revealed Askars to be Nelly when he did the timeline proof. See the comments under other NF post for details.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm loving your Hollywood's Hottest Body Parts polls! Your legs competition one got me thinking: Could some of these polls give us a hint to the Vices of

these celebs? Specifically Alexander Skarsgård. Speaking of all things hot, have you seen Melancholia? Do you think it'll do better than that awful remake of

Straw Dogs? Our fave Swede could use some love at the box office.
—Lara

Dear Getting a Leg Up:
Nice try, but the most Skars' appearance in our Hot Bods Tourney and his Vice have in common is that they're both red hot from the waist down. As for his

somewhat cold box office draw, I'll say this much: Maybe board-game-turned-big screen-fodder Battleship will be his saving grace?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I think I know someone who has a birthday in November. So, Mr. Casablanca, if it happened to be you, who would you love to see jumping out of your cake,

covered in frosting? My choice would be Johnny Depp in chocolate. I'll share mine if you share yours!
—KikiTopaz

Dear OK:
That's a good thing, too, ‘cause I hear Alexander Skarsgård's into sharing, too—perf!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's the real dish behind the Skarsworth breakup? They said they broke up "a while ago" when it was announced, and she was seen out with her new guy

immediately, making it seem like they couldn't announce it until she had another man on her arm. But what's the reason for it? I've heard everything from she

was stalking him after he ended it, tired with her famewhoring ways, to him being heartbroken because she ended it while he wanted marriage. He certainly

seems to be enjoying the single life, though...so what's your take? And did his Vice have anything to do with it?
—B

Dear Publicity Stunted:
This couple has been over for a while, where have you been? Kate's quick to jump ship and this costar relaysh is nothing new for her. Was it just last month

she was dishing to some mag about Orlando Bloom? She needs to get over it. And yes, both stars' Vices factor considerably in the breakup. Well, at least one

does, for sure."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Could you please give me any new gossip on my fave vamp, Nelly Fang? He has been noticeably absent from your site and I am definitely missing his Vicey ways!
—Junbreeze1

Dear It's Understandable:
Maybe that's because Nelly hasn't been working quite as much lately? I really do think Nell's one of those gorgeous, aloof types whodecide to get all

dangerous and daring in the sex department when they're super-stressed. But when they're just hangin'? Not as much. That's the dealio with Nelly right now.

Plus, he recently got out of a relationship with a major drama partner. He's far more chill these days. Bummer for us, though!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've recently gotten into True Blood and finally understand the appeal of Alexander Skarsgård. That man is seriously sex on a very tall stick. Given my

newfound crush, I got to thinking of how odd he and Kate Bosworth were together. I know you've mentioned in the past that they were never serious but I'm

dying to know if they were actually a couple...as in, you know, knocking boots?
—Katerina

Dear Blood in the Tabloid Water:
If you look at it on paper, these two were the perfect match: Leggy? Check. Gorgeous? Check. Blonde? Double check. But in reality it was all snooze and no

sex appeal."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You dished on a heap of Blind Vices but no update on the deliciously naughty Nelly Fang? I love you but please give your readers a little bit of gossip on

his shenanigans...k?
—IkeaLover

Dear Fanging Around:
Nelly's been laying rather low, but it's been far too long since we've seen the fangtastic hunk on the prowl. In other words, except some new shenanigans,

very soon."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Alexander Skarsgård and Elizabeth Olsen: Actually dating or just happened to be chatting and the usual Hollywood "they were talking so they must be

together"? And what's your thought of them together?
—B

Dear Skolsen?
Simply chitchatting, B. At least according to the younger Olsen herself. But Alex does love himself a hot young blonde and few are hotter on the movie scene

than Elizabeth these days. If they were to hookup? Hmmm…I wouldn't hate it.
"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm old enough to be Nelly Fang's mother and let's just say dreaming of "the captain" is taking up far too much of my day (and night, for that matter.)

Please throw this old cougar a bone—any more goodies to share about the sexy dude?
—Fang Banger Wannabe

Dear Aged to Perfection:
It is due time that Nelly made a grand return, huh? Thing is, ever since he caught wind that people were whispering about his on-set antics (ya know, the

humping kind), he's been super paranoid—about beddin' ladies and dudes! So weird, right?! But Nelly has been on-set a lot lately, so something is bound to,

shall we say, pop up?"

ad