Thursday, March 6, 2008

One New Nose About It Blind Vice

Brand new BV from Ted!

Lead-ins:

Who's the latest star to go (no, not gay) totally and pathetically drug addicted? Take a peek in the badass Blind Vice Friday!

Smells Dishy
Vicky Vamp Void has about as much talent as she can fit into her cute little new schnoz. She also has an amour partner, far more promising in the creative goods department, who she’s fastly getting as drug addicted as she is. Revenge? Or just for companion kicks? Take your best guess in One New Nose About It Blind Vice!


One New Nose About It Blind Vice


AutobiographyVicky Vamp Void recently had some work done to her famed bod, though we think her old mug is just as shrugworthy as her new one. The unnecessary surgery seemed completely cosmetic, but ya never know—cocaine does do some pretty rancid damage to the ol’ septum, boys ‘n’ girls. Stick to Diet Rockstar, kiddos, ‘kay? Vicky has been spotted in the past casually snorting the white stuff at the Spider Club, the semiexclusive hot spot atop Hell-Ay’s Avalon. Spider might be a private place, but Vicks nonchalantly nosedived in front of tons of spying eyes like it was no big deal. Usually, it sure ain’t, since who's left in T-town to throw stones at when everyone’s taken a sniff or two time and time again? But so it goes when you’re a superceleb. Your fun night out becomes game for goss, fer sure—not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower.
Fall Out Boy Poster Pete WentzRecently, VVV’s been seen around just about every hip hang with her intriguing, sexually mysterious partner in crime, Humpy Harlow. The tingling twosome are more than happy to parade in front of the paps, soaring as high as weather balloons. But why is H2, a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star, going along for the Us Weekly upchuck ride? Dunno. Might have something do with the fact that, prior to being attached to V3’s barely there notoriety, Hump was known to not exactly party.
Just a hunch there. But, uh, look for Harlow’s brand-new puss, too, sometime in ’09, we suspect.
Guess H.H. has picked up some average (and lethal) Hell-Ay habits from this wild child gal-pal.
And it ain't: Miley Cyrus, Rachel Bilson, Vanessa Hudgens

Update 2/18/11 -
For Vicky Vamp-Void, Ted has eliminated Miley Cyrus, Rachel Bilson, Vanessa Hudgens, Drew Barrymore, Victoria Beckham, Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox, Nicole Richie.
For Humpy Harlow, Ted has eliminated Justin Long, Katie Holmes.

* Top suspects: 
Vicky Vamp-Void = Ashlee Simpson
Humpy Harlow = Pete Wentz

Here is the new VVV BV from Feb 11 2011.

35 comments:

blurry vice said...

There seems to be a ton of little clues! OK, recent nose jobs: Ashley Tisdale (she goes with one of the AIAs), Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston has "deviated septums".
I also think the Humpy Harlow could be a hint that Nicole Richie is involved, or a friend of hers? (Her daughter is Harlow Kate.)
Here is my theory: Mischa Barton is VVV. She fits with one of the AIA's (Rachel Bilson, costar from the OC.) and she has been known to use drugs.
I'm not sure about HH though. Mischa has been photographed with Milla Jovovich recently. I also thought of Samantha Ronson from reading the description.
Thoughts?

duffgrl said...

I think VVV is Ashley Tisdale but don't know who HH is yet. Someone who is respected, who is not usually seen in US weekly.

sistah2 said...

what about Ashlee Simpson ? she had a nose job recently....

Nik said...

Ashlee Simpson for sure. Her bf is androgynous.

Anonymous said...

Ashley's nose job was in 2006. Too long ago to be labeled as "recently".

powerpuffitzi said...

This is actually tough - we need someone who fits the not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower and as much talent as she can fit into her cute little new schnoz bits, so this would maybe leave the Tiz out, though I'm not so sure.

My first thought was someone from the Hills, LC or even Heidi Montag, but there's no Humpy Harlow for these two. Humpy Harlow is also tough! Mostly because then my guess would be Paris Hilton and Benji Madden, who have been together for like ten minutes and most of all, would blow the Slurpa-Pop-Off BI out...

blurry vice said...

Ashlee Simpson's face job was like two years ago. Could be her but that's old news. Ashley Tisdale's was the recent one.
Could be Paris too I guess, she has had at least one nose job in the past, could have had another. And don' worry... If Paris is the subject of another BV, that doesn't exclude her from being SPO. We have discussed this... Ted does not give one celeb only one nickname... he can and has given celebs more than one nickname. Never exclude someone only because they are assumed a different nickname!

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking it's Mary Kate Olsen...there's been rumors of her getting a nose job, famed bod fits b/c of her struggle with anorexia, she's a supposed role model for kids, etc...but I can't think of who she's been hanging around with lately that could be Humpy Harlow.

powerpuffitzi said...

Thanks, blurry - didn't know that Ted fooling with us was game, but I should've guessed that :D

Ashley Tisdale - yes, but we don't have a Humpy Harlow, unless Ted is excluding Vanessa Hudgens in the AIA's as VVV and not as HH....which would be too twisted even for Ted?

Ashley Simpson - I agree that her nosejob is old news and that her bf was a partier before her.

Mischa Barton - great guess as soon as a suitable HH is found.

I've read somewhere Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell, and it could even be Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia, I'd say, but I'm not convinced; the woman saves dolphins after all. And I really want to think that she's too young...

Any of the Olsens - could very well be! Any HH volunteer?

Paris & Benji - yes, but Benji is not sexually mysterious - we need eliminations - pretty iconoclastic star is killing me.

blurry vice said...

I am just so totally confused on this one still. I think the fact that we don't even know the identity of Humpy Harlow makes it 100 times more difficult.

blurry vice said...

I meant we don't know the GENDER of HH.

blurry vice said...

OMG I just had a thought. I think Humpy Harlow could be Rumer Willis. She is androgynous if you ask me. That would leave Vicky Vamp Void a friend of hers. She is tight with Lindsay Lohan, Katherine McPhee, and others. ???

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure it's Rumer Willis because H2's supposed to be "...a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star," and "Hump was known to not exactly party" -- Rumer is not a "star" and she is pretty known to party. This is hard!

Anonymous said...

Maybe Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson? Lindsay seemed to have (another) plastic surgery before her MM photo shoot. As a DJ and musician, Samantha has her own following but photos of the two have been popping up in other gossip sites. She also kind of fits the sexually mysterious category.

powerpuffitzi said...

LL has a well-known white stuff problem, among other things, and that's somehow not the way I read this BI - maybe VVV doesn't have the greatest reputation but it reads to me as if she's not known of doing the white stuff.

blurry - you're on to something but why not RW as VVV? She even looks a bit vampirish : ) I was terrified to find out that she's rumoured to be dating Orlando Bloom - just do a google search with both names.

blurry vice said...

Yeah, I had thought of Li-Lo and Samantha R. but I thought that would be too obvious, since they have been BFF and romantically linked in the past, and everyone knows LL has been to rehab... that's not a shocker.

Ew, Rumer Willis and Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom is also sexually mysterious, no?

powerpuffitzi said...

I guess he is - he has this softness about him that often leads to gay rumours.

I really think Rumer Willis makes a pretty good VVV, though I don"t know about a nose job. As to Orlando Bloom, luckily there aren't even pictures of them together. Also, she's apparently bff with Hayden Panettiere (according to tmz and such - and there are pictures - LOL at the sound of that) - any thoughts? I already posted what I think about HP but I must say finding out that she's friends with RW is a bit disturbing, in spite of the dolphins : )

duffgrl said...

Def not Samantha Ronson for HH- I thought of her before but she doesn't fit w/ the known to not party part-we all know she does drugs. We know VVV is "superceleb","young role model" ,famous bod, had a nose job, probably dated a rockstar

Anonymous said...

I think we're getting off track with who VVV is. RW doesn't fit with the statement "not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower" -- I never saw RW being portrayed as a role model. Sounds more like the Ashley Tisdale type, which again stumps us to who HH could be.

blurry vice said...

Yeah, let's go back to Hayden Panettierre for VVV. She fits. Then HH could be either Milo Ventimiglia or Rumer Willis.

powerpuffitzi said...

Hayden Panettiere cannot be VVV because the not that getting caught with coke could sink this supposed young role model’s rep much lower bit doesn't fit - HP is known for her work, the Milo Ventimiglia relationship thingie and the dolphins. No DUI or anything like that, no semi-sank reputation, even if you count the supposed cocktails with her mother.

Rumer Willis cannot be HH because she's not a heretofore pretty iconoclastic star. However, she has been openly called ugly and talentless by Ted (see Ted's awards, the Margos) and other gossip media, she has a bad rep among them (for what is worth, she's perezhilton's #1 candidate for rehab in 2008), she's been portrayed as a role model by her father and herself (there are quotes), she's been seen around basically everywhere and fits the barely there notoriety statement. And yet, I'm not saying that VVV is her, but she's more VVV than HP is - and more VVV than HH. If that makes any sense.

Stumped.

Lisa said...

I think it's Ashlee and Pete. Yeah her nose job wasn't recent, but I tend to always keep in mind with blind items that the authors do not always keep the items current (it makes them harder to figure out AND it keeps the author out of trouble).

So, VVV's already bad rep = the SNL lip syncing bust.
HH = Pete because he sexually mysterious, was previously not along for the US Weekly ride meaning he stayed out of the Hollywood spotlight, and he used to be Straight Edge (along with the rest of Fall Out Boy) which means no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, and no partying.

Anonymous said...

paris hilton as VVV and elisha cuthbert as HH?

lisa i think u might be on the right track tho ... ashlee could have recently had a little surgical refresher - i get the impression it didnt make too much difference, and ted did say it was unnecessary surgery

blurry vice said...

Or Paris and Benji Madden. But he's not much of an iconoclastic star in my opinion.

duffgrl said...

I'd say Ashlee and Pete too. Ashley Tisdale ruled out btw

powerpuffitzi said...

From today's AT:

Drew used to be a wild child, but she's def grown up and has been making better choices—and we ain't just talkin' dumping Tom Green for an actually funny dude. Try someone more polarizing and not as naturally pretty as Barry-babe.

Fits Ashlee Simpson, no?

If Miz Beckham got her schnoz done, it would prolly look a whole lot better than her au naturel Miss Piggy nose. This Vicky she ain't. Think of a younger gal with an even chummier companion. (referred to Katie Holmes, since the guess was Posh and Katie).

Does this mean that HH is in a relationship with VVV and HH is possibly a man? Or that they're bigger bff's than P&K? : )

I'm going with Ashley and Pete, mostly after Death-Mynt Mirtle's disappointing outing today...

blurry vice said...

Thanks for the update post, powerpuff!

I'm also jumping on the Ashlee/Pete bandwagon now. Esp since I just read Ted mentioning Pete Wentz's "guyliner" smudging.

powerpuffitzi said...

Just a quick thought, and by no means leaving the Ash&Pete guess - I thought of this when I read something Ted said when eliminating JSimp and Tony Romo -what about Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush? Famed bod? Anybody watches Keepin' up with the Kardashians and is she portrayed as a role model there, as older sister? This is a supposed role model, not a role model after all.

blurry vice said...

In today's mailbag, Ted responds to this letter, asking if VVV was Lindsay Lohan and Humpy Harlow Samantha Ronson.:
"LiLo’s too blaring a choice—so obvious I bet even L2 had to think back and wonder, “Wait, was that me?” She ain’t our sniffy starlet, but right age."
- This excludes LL as VVV. But Ted did not say anything about SR as HHH there. She's still in the running.

blurry vice said...

Top contenders: Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz, Paris Hilton/Benji Madden.

cassandra said...

vanessa manillo and nick lachey!!

Tara said...

Kinda seals the deal that this is Ashlee Simpson after today's BV update. She's been looking like crap since she cut her hair, too. I sort of feel bad for Pete, seems like he is already getting a bad rap with the rumors flying about cheating when clearly Ashlee had some serious issues. I can't stand it when women victimize like that to deflect from their own secrets.....kinda like Eva Longoria. Not saying Eva deserved to be humiliated publicly, but they had a very unconventional marriage w/a lot of blurred lines, and none of that was "said" to have contributed to their demise.

Dollie said...

Dear Ted:
I think most of us were totally blindsided by Pete Wentz and Ashlee separating! Has Mr. Wentz ever been the subject of one of your B.V.s?
—Ella

Dear Di-vicey Divorce:
Oh, we are way ahead of you. Of course, Simps has a vice! And the divorce left us anything but surprised. Let's just say the Simpson-Wentz babe and the Longoria-Parker honey share a lot in common.



That was yesterday's bitch back.

blurry vice said...

Here are all the elimination letters -

"Dear Ted:
Here's my guess for Vicky Vamp Void of One New Nose About It Blind Vice: Lindsay Lohan. The young role model/actress...hanging out at Spider Club...and then the kicker, Humpy Harlow! I just saw pictures of Lindsay and Samantha Ronson, and it seemed to click. Am I right?
Cathy
Toronto, Ontario

Dear Too Obvious:
LiLo’s too blaring a choice—so obvious I bet even L2 had to think back and wonder, “Wait, was that me?” She ain’t our sniffy starlet, but right age."

"Dear Ted:
Is Vicky Vamp Void Ashley Tisdale? I hope not. It's such a shame. Young girls have no one to look up to these days.
Tina
Austin, Texas

Dear Ask in Austin:
Tweens can still hold their heads up high to Ash-babe, 'cause as far as we know, her new nose is clean from septum to nostril."

"Dear Ted:
Vicky Vamp Void from One New Nose About It Blind Vice has got to be Posh (aka Victoria) Spice and her bestest friend, Katie Homes. Make my (pathetic) day! P.S.: Go Hillary.
Laurie
Atlanta

Dear Pish-Posh Spice:
If Miz Beckham got her schnoz done, it would prolly look a whole lot better than her au naturel Miss Piggy nose. This Vicky she ain't. Think of a younger gal with an even chummier companion."

"Dear Ted:
Could Vicky Vamp Void and Humpy Harlow from One New Nose About It Blind Vice be Drew Barrymore and Justin Long?
Dani
Dearborn, Mich.

Dear Drew 'n' Long Is Wrong:
Drew used to be a wild child, but she's def grown up and has been making better choices—and we ain't just talkin' dumping Tom Green for an actually funny dude. Try someone more polarizing and not as naturally pretty as Barry-babe."

ttownelizabeth said...

Dear Ted:
I was wondering if Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's split has anything to do with Ashlee's Blind Vice. And my rescue-bunny, Twitch, was wondering if Pete has a Blind?
—Tiffany

Dear Carrot Curious:
Yes and yes. Hey, Twitch!

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