Sunday, November 11, 2007

People Ted Casablanca has eliminated as Toothy Tile

JAKE GYLLENHAAL 24X36 COLOUR POSTER PRINTAs requested - Below is a list of people that Ted has ELIMINATED as possibly being Toothy Tile. People write him letters with guesses and he says no to some people, with hints sometimes. The only person he hasn't excluded is Jake Gyllenhaal, who also fits with Ted's hints. We waited for a long time for Matthew McConaughey and John Travolta to be eliminated, and they finally have been. At a future time we may list all of Ted's blurbs about Toothy, and his hints that Toothy is Jake.  In the meantime, we stand by our guess that Toothy Tile is Jake Gyllenhaal.

Ok so here is the list. Originally in 2008, some of the guys on the list are from a thread I found on fanchitchat.com which discusses blind items as well. Thank you to those who contributed to that! The rest are from researching back into the Awful Truth and keeping up to date on the latest Toothy news. We update as needed, when Ted gives us a new name (one that isn't already on the list!)


***
TOOTHY TILE IS NOT:
50 Cent, Aaron Eckhart, Adam Brody, Adrian Brody, Adrian Grenier, Alec Baldwin, Alexander Skarsgard, Anderson Cooper, Andy Dick, Ashton Kutcher, Ben Affleck, Ben Mackenzie, Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, Brandon Davis, Brandon Routh, Brian Austin Green, Bruce Willis, Carrot Top, Casey Affleck, Chace Crawford, Chad Michael Murray, Channing Tatum, Charlie Sheen, Chris Evans, Chris Klein, Chris Pine, Christian Bale, Clay Aiken, Colin Farrell, Dane Cook, Daniel Craig, Danny Bonaduce, David Duchovny, David Hyde Pierce, David Schwimmer, David Spade, Denzel Washington, Derek Jeter, Dick Cheney, Don Cheadle, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Elijah Wood, Emile Hirsch, Eric Balfour, Ewan McGregor, Gael Garcia Bernal, George Clooney, George Eads, Gerard Butler, Haley Joel Osmont, Harrison Ford, Harry Hamlin, Hayden Christensen, Heath Ledger, Hillary Clinton, Homer Simpson, Hugh Jackman, Isaiah Washington, James Franco, James Marsden, Jamie Foxx, Jared Leto, Jared Padalecki, Jason Lee, Jason Ritter, Jason Statham, Javier Bardem, Jennifer Garner, Jeremy Piven, Jim Carrey, Jesse Metacalfe, Joaquin Phoenix, Joe Jonas, Joel McHale, John Goodman, John Krasinski, John C. Reilly, John Stamos, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Jon Hamm, Jonathan Bennett, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Josh Brolin, Josh Duhamel, Josh Hartnett, Josh Lucas, Julian McMahon, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Keanu Reeves, Kellan Lutz, Kenny Chesney, Kevin Costner, Kevin Jonas, Kevin Spacey, Kiefer Sutherland, Lance Bass, Lenny Kravitz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Liev Schrieber, Luke Wilson, Mario Lopez, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Bomer, Matt Damon, Matt Dillon, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Perry, Michael Angarano, Michael Vartan, Mike Myers, Milo Ventimiglia, Neil Patrick Harris, Nick Jonas, Nikki Reed, Orlando Bloom, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd, Peter Facinelli, Queen Latifah, Ricky Martin, Rob Thomas, Robert Pattinson, Robert Buckley, Robert Downey Jr., Ronaldo, Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Phillipe, Ryan Reynolds, Seann William Scott, Scott Speedman, Sean Penn, Seth Green, Shane West, Shemar Moore, Shia LeBeouf, Spencer Pratt, Steven Weber, Taylor Lautner, Ted Danson, Tobey Maguire, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Tom Welling, Topher Grace, T. R. Knight, Usher, Val Kilmer, Viggo Mortensen, Vin Diesel, Vince Vaughn, Wentworth Miller, Will Smith, Wilmer Valderrama, Zac Efron, Zach Braff, Zachary Quinto

(updated 3/24/12)

125 comments:

mo-mo said...

I don't think I see this one on your list, but I know he excluded Peter Sarsgaard once. I remember because I thought it was a big hint. (He's engaged to Jake G's sister Maggie.)

Blind Item Exposer said...

Yes, I remember that. His response was a hint too... something like, "whatever makes you think that?" List updated!

duffgrl said...

this 2 letters were printed RIGHT AFTER each other yesterday in the awful truth:
Dear Ted:
Pardon me if this question has been posed before, but inquiring minds must know: Will Toothy Tile be invited to your upcoming nuptials?
MJ
Omaha, Nebraska

Dear Emily Posted:
No.

Dear Ted:
Regarding the Reese and Jake thing—um, can you say "bitter much"? I'd think ol' Jakey-hon must've rejected your advances in the past, with all your snarkiness and not-so-lightly veiled innuendos about his sexuality. Must be so awful knowing all kinds of "truths" and not being able to spill a factual drop, instead of hiding behind Blind Vices and nasty innuendo. Oh well, you are the queen at that, if nothing else!
Kiki
Portland

Dear All Wet:
Even before I was (happily) engaged to be married, never been into little boys. Besides, Jake never offered, and I certainly never asked. And girlfriend, we tell plenty here at AT. Otherwise, doubt you’d have your thong so in a wad.

blurry vice said...

Ted excluded Vin Diesel today but he was already on the list of people that were excluded. He said that TT is "less meaty".

blurry vice said...

Ted keeps eliminating people who were already eliminated. Vince Vaughn, Wentworth Miller, Ricky Martin. Snooze!

Anonymous said...

KEVIN SPACEY IS TOOTHY.... SEE RECENT PICS OF HIM IN CROATIA. TOOTHY KEVIN LOVES TO BE OUT IN PUBLC DARING AND ABOUT TO GET CAUGHT- HE DID!!!

Anonymous said...

It can't be Kevin Spacey, Ted refers to Toothy as a BOY and a hot one at that....Kevin spacey doesn't fit....although I think Kevin is probably a lot like toothy...

Anonymous said...

jake g. exposed!!!! read today's awful truth: toothy must be jake g.- ted signed it "toothy tell all"- the brokeback/ jake connection is obvious.
Dear Ted:
I love your column and even if you piss me off more often than not (especially when you badmouth Jennifer Aniston and Jen Garner), I just can't stop reading and following your work. I wish I knew how to quit ya! Is James Franco Toothy Tile?
—Lisa
Dear Toothy Tell All:
No, but dollmuff, you're so close more than a few fagolas in T-town are sweatin' plenty right about now. Nice detective work.

J T said...

Ted just eliminated Viggo Mortensen (whew!) today, so you can add him to the list. Thanks for keeping track for us lazy bones out here...

Gray Goose said...

I agree that Toothy is Jake G., but Peter Sarsgaard was eliminated as Toothy’s boyfriend (Gray Goose) not as Toothy Tile.

November 11, 2005

Dear Ted:
Is the lover of Toothy Tile Peter Sarsgaard?
Linda
Cathedral City, California

Dear Dude Detective:
Why, no, darling, whatever makes you think that? Far less well known (but much better muscled).

He also eliminated Matt Dillon as Toothy’s boyfriend.

February 24,2006

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile's boyfriend Matt Dillon?
Megan
Pennsylvania

Dear T2 Type:
Nope, not that famous. Yet.

blurry vice said...

Thank you GG - you are correct and I have updated the post. We knew that Peter Saarsgard was mentioned and that it was a hint for Jake G. I couldn't find the response though. I do remember now that it was about TT's boyfriend. Therefore, Peter S COULD technically still be Jake G. and is off the list.

Anonymous said...

Chris Klein has also been eliminated as a possible Toothy Tile. See below:
April 7, 2006

Dear Ted:
Thanks for the lowdown on Chris Klein's brokeback. Any chance he's Toothy Tile?
Dean

Dear Security Guard Type:
Yeah, ya won't see butt reports (male and female alike) in Tab Fab, that's fer sure. C.K. ain't Toothy, though I must say that's a fairly close guess. Think, uh, well, just think more, and you'll see the brainy light.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
New to the blog and love your candor. This Toothy Tile mystery game is frustrating, but I think I have an idea who he may be...is it Tom Welling?
—Jane Doe

Dear Welling Wonder:
Not at all. Think more supersuccessful than this TV actor.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Toothy Tile is John Travolta, and his man is Tom Cruise. Correct?
—Becky

Dear John 'n' Tom:
Dream on, babe. Just because Johnny kisses his boy companions goodbye on the lips hardly means he's Toothy. Too obvious. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Stud Bucket LaBeouf Ben Affleck, and Toothy Tile Aaron Eckhart?
—S

Dear Double Whammy:
Stud is a current superstar. Eckhart is close with T.T., but not the answer."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Love the new yellow background. You rock! Tell me, is Toothy Tile Matthew Broderick?
—Bored in Canada

Dear Age Inappropriate:
Big e-kiss, doll-face, thanks. And no, M.B. is older and far doughier than our fave closeted star."

- Broderick and Ekhart have already been eliminated in the past.

Anonymous said...

Did Ted ever eliminate Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

Anonymous said...

So is John Travolta eliminated or not? Your lead in says no, yet his name is now among those in the list.

blurry vice said...

John Travolta hs been eliminated, yes. When we first wrote the post he wasn't yet. I thought I edited that, and don't know why it is still there! Will try to fix again.

Anonymous said...

It's fixed now, sweet!

Anonymous said...

Hi! New to the site and love it! TT can't be Peter Sarsgaard because PS was born in Belleville, IL according to imdb. Not LA like TT.

Anonymous said...

TT is quite obviously Hugh Grant....he's "toothy" and he has never been eliminated.

blurry vice said...

Hugh Grant is British and does not fit the age range. Toothy Tile was born in Los Angeles.

Anonymous said...

I just read Toothy has a child, so it can't Be Jake.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I can't believe I'm doing this since I usually make fun of the people who ask Toothy Tile questions. But this is driving me crazy. Was Toothy at the Golden Globes?
—Donna

Dear About 'n' Not Out:
Who wasn't?"

gabriela said...

Dear Ted,
Is Jensen Ackles?

Gab

blurry vice said...

GABRIELA -

If you want to write a letter to Ted, please do not post it here. Send him an email.

blurry vice said...

REPEAT Josh Brolin elimination
"Dear Ted:
Is Josh Brolin Toothy Tile? Saw him on Inside the Actors Studio and found him very suspicious in that regard.
—Lynn, Connecticut

Dear Bro-Down:
Nope, but I could def see these two hanging out."

blurry vice said...

CF has already been eliminated in the past, here he is again -

"Dear Ted:
Is Colin Farrell Toothy Tile? By the way, George Clooney seems like he's reached the bottom of the barrel in the girlfriend dept. Game-show slag. Her cloying behavior is nauseating. Please tell him to get some relationship counseling. I'm afraid he's going to start dating Paris Hilton or Courtney Love.
—Miss P

Dear Star Watcher:
That would be a big hell no on Farrell being Toothy. As for Clooney, he has a better chance of dating a homeless gal before Paris or Court. Georgy has a fetish for taking the no-names and giving 'em fame."

blurry vice said...

anotehr REPEAT elim:

"Dear Ted:
I am an avid reader of the Awful Truth and have been a loyal subscriber to both E! Online and the E! Channel. I am convinced that Toothy Tile is Matthew McConaughey. Am I correct?
—Alt

Dear Sure Thing:
Sorry, but you got the wrong surfer, dude. "

blurry vice said...

James Franco has already been eliminated but ted throws a teaser that JF is gay (critch uh lastic):

"Dear Ted:
I'm hooked on Awful Truths. Anyway, just watched James Franco in Milk. Is he or isn't he Toothy Tile?
—Tarquinius

Dear Speaking Franco:
What makes you ask?"

blurry vice said...

another repeat elim:

"Dear Ted:
Love, love, love your column. Please answer me this: Is Toothy Tile Owen Wilson?
—Shell

Dear Wilson Wondering:
The way Owen loves to lust all the ladies, there's no way he's our Tooth. Not far off, though, certainly in the offbeat appeal."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Luke Wilson? Would you tell me if he was?
—Jiggy

Dear Brother Tile:
No and yes."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Casey Affleck the infamous Toothy Tile? Is Catherine Zeta-Jones the scandalous Fake à la Ferocity?
—Kate

Dear Twice the Vice:
No to both. FALF is dwindling Lohan style; Jones seems quite healthy."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was just watching HSM3 and my gaydar was off the charts when it came to Zac Efron. Any chance he's Toothy Tile or Nevis Devine?
—I

Dear Homofron:
Zac's too young to be Toothy. Fab guess on Nevis though, but wrong guy. Think less dimply."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I can't stop thinking about Toothy Tile, and I think I finally have the answer! It's Ted Danson, isn't it? And if it isn't, can I get another clue? (I know, I need to get a life). Yours Truly,
—O.W.T. (Obsessed With Toothy)

Dear Life Goes On:
Sorry, babe, there's no closeted Ted in these parts. Toothy is more famous right now. "

blurry vice said...

another repeat elim:

"Dear Ted:
You get hunkier all the time. I know you're humble, though, so I won't belabor the point. Listen, would the first initial of Toothy's last name be "A"? And on another topic entirely, do you foresee trouble with a major good-looking Hollywood couple (the husband has been known to have a vice known as gambling and the wifey just had another baby)?
—SnoRom

Dear Blind Vice Bitching:
Thanks, and yes, I do. As for name-gaming with Toothy, he isn't Ben Affleck."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Jim Carrey? And if not, why not?
—Julia

Dear Talkin' Toothy:
Jimmy's been living a pretty drama-less life with longtime gal-pal Jenny McCarthy. And Jim doesn't need a female fling to keep his career up—he needs a good movie role. Soon."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please, please, please! Share the Rachael Ray's publicist's letter! Also, I know you've probably revealed it before, but what is Toothy's age range? his 20s, 30s? Tom Cruise 40s or George Clooney 40s? And given what happened to Rupert Everett's career, do you blame Toothy for staying in the closet's closet?
—GeeGee

Dear Age-Defying:
You'll get a taste of the letter in this week's Truth, Lies, & Ted. BTW, Toothy is younger than Cruise and Clooney."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
OK, I get it. Your lawyers won't let you respond to me. Can you just tell me if Toothy Tile's last name starts with an A?
—K.B., Houston

Dear Alphabetter:
Uh, no."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have been watching the World Baseball Classic all afternoon. There was this shot of the USA dugout, and I thought I saw a Toothy Tile smile. Is it Derek Jeter?
—Michele

Dear Butch Stuff:
Nope, not even close, even though that sport's filled with more pooftahs than Jen Aniston's pool parties. "

blurry vice said...

Ted mentioned that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (who has already been eliminated as Toothy, is surpisingly close.

???

Brittany said...

Hmm I don't know if I'm just grasping at straws but the Rock played the Scorpian King in a movie and now Jake G. is playing the Prince of Persia.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I love your site, it never fails to brighten my day. Please will you tell me whether Emile Hirsch is our beloved Toothy Tile, and Kellan Lutz is Nevis Devine?
—J

Dear Too Suspicious:
Something rub you the wrong way 'bout those two babes? Close, physically (but not at all emotionally) on the first, and just completely way off—in every regard—on the latter. Nevis isn't exactly hugely hump-worthy on sight, like Kellan."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You really know how to create a riot on certain sites with your cryptic Toothy comments. Here is my guess: Are Toothy Tile and Grey Goose Supernatural boys Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles?
—Paula

Dear Decoder:
You've got the wrong boys, sorry babe. Think slightly less supposedly angelic, but just slightly."

blurry vice said...

Repeat elim - George Clooney:

"Dear Ted:
Toothy Tile and Judas Jack-Off are George Clooney and Ryan Seacrest, right? There's a reason Clooney isn't married.
—Annabelle

Dear Double the Fun:
Clooney-babe is a tad older than Toothy and is more established in his career. And actually, Ry-guy hasn't been one of our B.V.'s. And trust me, Clooney is not done surprising you yet, not by a long shot."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Didn't you write a story about Channing Tatum and something-something? Just saw a preview for his new movie—Fighting—with Terrence Howard. Channing looks hot. Can you dish any dish on him? Oh, yeah—he's not Toothy, right? Seems like you've noted everyone in Hollywood for Toothy, but they're about the same age, aren't they?
—No Snarking Here Just Move Along

Dear Taunting Tooth:
Yes, they're around the same age. But Channing's far more discreet about his indiscretions, I assure you."

blurry vice said...

Channing Tatum had already been eliminated in the past btw. So many repeat elims!

blurry vice said...

REPEAT ELIM AGAIN:

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Ryan Gosling?
—Leah

Dear Wrong on Ryan:
Rachel McAdams was no beard of Toothy's."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Ted-doll, my love, my gossip guru. I have had Jamie Foxx in my mind for quite some time now. Please, please clue us in. Is he Toothy Tile?
—SweetIrishSwede

Dear Foxtail:
Wrong B.V. for Jamie, doll. Way wrong, too."

blurry vice said...

Yes, he has been in the past -

Dear Ted:
Has anyone ever guessed Topher Grace as Toothy Tile? I know it's so wrong to be so concerned about someone's sexuality, but damn it, Ted, you've made it into this addicting little game!
—R.R.

Dear Fall From Grace:
I've lost track of all the Toothy guesses, but Topher ain't Tile. Very close, though. In lotsa ways. Like dimples."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm kind of new to the Blind Vices, but I can't help but think that Toothy Tile is John Stamos. Am I close?
—The Doctor Is Out?

Dear Gaymos:
Rebecca's ex-hubby didn't leave her for a guy."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I do love your blog, I read it every day, and I love the Blind Vices, so I was wondering, is Dommy Do Right Katherine Heigl and is Toothy T.R. Knight?
—R. Castela

Dear Way Off:
Sorry, but T.R. is out of the closet, so he can't be Toothy! As for Kath, right hair color, but wrong bad 'tude gal."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I know you can't be too specific with your descriptions of Toothy Tile, but can you say what his age range is? 20-30, 30-40, over 50?
—Al

Dear Aged Whine:
Nice try. Toothy's of legal age for everything."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
If the man we all know to be Toothy Tile ever comes out of the closet, would you actually confirm that he is Toothy?
—Angel

Dear Don't Wait Too Long:
Of course!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Toothy Tile ever done a movie with Jennifer Aniston?
—Kelly in Bar Harbor

Dear Det. Toothy:
Yes."

JAKE GYLLENHAAL WAS IN "THE GOOD GIRL" WITH JENNIFER ANISTON.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are Star Trek costars Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto Toothy Tile and Grey Goose?
—Mia

Dear Trek Casablanca:
What a hot pairing that would be! But sadly, no. Grey-Goose wishes he were as famous as these hotties. Or even as famous as Toothy! Alas, his career isn't as hot as his bod. "

blurry vice said...

repeat

"Dear Ted:
Forgive me if this is a really bad guess, but I've forgotten a lot of Toothy Tile hints you've given us. Is Toothy Tile Owen Wilson?
—Brionna

Dear Toothy Round 2:
So wrong, darling! Think far less obviously butch."

blurry vice said...

another repeat -

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Will Smith?
—Nhiltner1

Dear Tooth Fairy:
Nope, but Big Willy def is no saint! Think less megastar for our sweet, cowering T.T. "

blurry vice said...

repeat tom cruise elim -

"Dear Ted:
Really enjoy you and your column. I was very sorry to hear about your cat. Horrible, painful experience—I know, and my heart goes out to you for your loss. I was curious, have you seen this article? Seems to me to be the most plausible about the whole Robsten thing. Also, definitely—Melinda Miscreant is Shanna Moakler without any doubt. My guess on Toothy Tile is Tom Cruise. Makes the most sense. Keep the Robsten stories coming. Like millions of others, I can't get enough! Thanks for being so great at what you do.
—Just another Rob/Twilight/Edward obsessed girl in Wash.

Dear Too Close for Comfort:
You're two B.V. guesses would seem spot-on, but unfortunately you're off just a tad on both. As for the Robsten dating item, it was very thorough indeed. But they're off on a few of their facts. "

blurry vice said...

another repeat elim -

"Dear Ted:
Is Dommy-Do Rightly Amanda Bynes? I've thought so since you first mentioned her. Is Toothy Owen Wilson? BTW love your columns. I read them on my cell when I can't sleep at night.
—Ad

Dear 0 for 2:
Sorry darling, better guessin' next time! Uh, think less fake butch, for sure. "

blurry vice said...

another repeat elim

"
Dear Ted:
I believe that I have finally figured out a B.V.! Toothy Tile is Vin Diesel, as the one clue that you provided was that he has a child. Please tell us!
—Your faithful lesbian reader

Dear InVincible:
No chance! And Toothy is slightly ashamed that you would compare him to such an obnoxious muscleman. Actually, that's a lie."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please, please, please tell me that Toothy Tile is Kellan Lutz! I wrote a list of the people you ruled out, and K.Lutz is the only one absent (I think). He had a famous partner, AnnaLynne McCord, and she looks like she could kinda go both ways. Ugh, this is driving me crazy! I bet this was exactly what you were going for! Blessings for Butch in doggie heaven, which is where I know he is. Love ya!
—Maddie Love

Dear Killin' for Kellan:
Fantastic guess! But Toothy was in the limelight long before Kellan ever was. (And thanks for the Butch wishes, but he's right next door in feline heaven.) "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Ted! I am an ugly truth addict, and we are not talking the movie. Won't get in to that! Will you ever tell us the identity of Toothy Tile? My guess is Ashton Kutcher. Hey, I work hard. I can have one ugly pleasure, right?
—Sher

Dear Tooth'd:
Toothy has more than one guilty pleasure—allow yourself a few more babe! And no, Ashton's too straight to be T.T."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is R.Pattz Toothy Tile?
—Jen

Dear Tile-icious:
Hell no. Toothy was famous way before Rob came to our attention."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I believe your friend Nevis Divine has to be Keanu Reeves. And Toothy Tile is Jamie Foxx.
—Pearl Mae

Dear Duuuuude:
Close, but no B.V. cigar, dollface. Nevis has a wee bit more personality than Keanu (or at least post-Bill & Ted Keanu). And Toothy is not the Foxx, although Jamie has been a B.V. of his very own of just-as-delicious variety."

blurry vice said...

What's with all the repeat JAmie Foxx elims?

"Dear Ted:
You never see photos of Jamie Foxx with a date, and now he has a "secret" child. You said Toothy Tile had a baby no one knew about. Could T.T. be J.F.?
—Strayerch

Dear Connecting the Dots:
Fab sleuthing hon, but wrong dude. Think hotter. "

blurry vice said...

Toothy

"Dear Ted:
Why are so many people obsessed with Toothy Tile? I don't get it. But here is my guess. I don't think Toothy is any one person. I think he represents that stereotypical, smile-so-white-you-need-shades, good looking, tries-too-hard man in Hollywood . I mean, you've eliminated most everyone at this point.
—Baby Bear

Dear Tile File:
Interesting theory, but an incorrect one, just the same. It probably just seems this way because Toothy has so very man pretenders to the pansy throne, i.e., guys who like guys but are afraid to talk about it. And you're wrong about the eliminations—but literally homo hundreds of possibilities!"


"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile currently being bearded by another B.V.?
—seabee

Dear Blind Overlap:
Of course. But I don't think that narrows it down much."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was watching the hotness and sweetness that is Robert Buckley on my Lipstick Jungle DVD, and I kept thinking why on earth Ted never talks about him? And I had a revelation: Maybe Ted has been talking about him for years! Is he Toothy Tile?
—Celia

Dear Cross Off Buckley:
The boob tube's too small for Toothy's grin and ego. Think bigger name, bigger screen."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I think Gael García Bernal is Toothy Tile. Am I right? I have to be!
—Apollo

Dear Who?
Nope. Toothy is someone I actually give a hoot about.

Dear Ted:
Toothy is Taylor Lautner, right? I'm going out on a limb, but I definitely think it's him.
—Ashlee

Dear Taylor Tile:
No. Taylor's got dirty laundry, to be sure, but T.L. and T.T. are not the same hunk."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is there any correlation between Ben Affleck and Toothy Tile? Throw us a bone, pretty please!
—Lilly E. V., Houston

Dear Toothfleck:
You bet your ass there is! Now you've just got to figure out what."


Well, Jake and Ben have both co-starred with Jennifer Aniston.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is Toothy Tile Nikki Reed?
—Gadsdenm

Dear Lesson in Sarcasm:
Yes. You got it. Case cracked. We can all go home now."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Ted's away, so maybe if you answer this one little-bitty question he won't get sued. So, come on...who's Toothy Tile? (We won't tell Ted you told!)
—Teena

Dear We Give Up!
OK, fine, I'll give you a hint. The first letter of Toothy's real first name is the same letter that starts the middle name of his ex-girlfriend's costar's godfather's first wife who was in that movie where Abigail Breslin played a funloving but misunderstood she-werewolf. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm just giving away these Blind Vices now."

blurry vice said...

toothy tile

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is Toothy Tile George Clooney, and is Gray Goose Anderson Cooper?
—D

Dear Nope!
Think far less salt-and-pepper for both."

"Dear Awful Truth:
In the upcoming movie The Brothers, are Tobey and Jake's characters supposed to be fighting over Natalie, or are Tobey and Jake fighting temptation for each other? I don't buy either one of these tools as a romantic lead onscreen or fighting over Kirsten Dunst offscreen. They both seem so egotistical, and from the small previews of the movie, trying to overact each other. And I wonder if all three leads were on the same cycle when the movie wrapped? Doesn't Hollywood have any true romantic leads who can act beside Leo D.? He can't do all the movies, can he?
—JSC

Dear Awful A-list:
I'm a big fan of Leo, but you're off your rocker if you think he's the only "true romantic lead" out there right now. I don't even care to answer your question until you go spend a couple of hours doing some major Wikiage. Now good day, sir."

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is Toothy Tile Michael Angarano?
—Interested

Dear Sky High Homo:
Not a chance. Think not only older but less prepubescent."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Sean Penn? He seems sleazy enough. Also has Sienna "Devout Member of the Sisterhood of Women" Miller ever been a BV?
—Couchguru

Dear No Skank-dar:
Penn a fagola? Is that why he dives into every skirt, whether he's married or not, he can get his inebriated fingers on? Wow. Most impressive front I've ever seen. And why should Sienna be a Vice star? She lives her greasiness all out in the open!"

blurry vice said...

Toothy Tile

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Adrian Brody?
—Babs

Dear Sleuth:
Nope—think much more conventionally attractive."


"Dear Ted:
On Aug. 28, Toothy Tile was said to have been Nikki Reed...Just wondering why people are still trying to guess who it is?!
–Kara

Dear Transgender:
Even we're not cruel enough to call Nikki a man. Physiologically speaking, it's impossible for her to be Toothy. Unless you know something we don't?"

"Dear Ted:
I've been reading your blolum since Toothy was a virgin, but I've never asked a Q before now. So, to make up for it I have three: 1. You have said that Toothy has a beard, so does she know she is a beard? 2. Has she ever been a beard for another guy before? 3. Do you think Toothy will marry this beard? Thanks for the bitching!
—Jelpoohbear

Dear Genie Ted:
Yes, Toothy's beard knows what she is. And yes, she's familiar with men who play for both teams. And yes, I could see Toothy selling out and marrying the beard. For Baby Tile's sake."

"Dear Ted:
Can you give us an update on Baby Tile?
—Kitty

Dear Crybaby:
Just that I can't wait to read the kid's tell-all. Daddie Fearest, I assume it'll be called."

blurry vice said...

Jake G has made it to the Blind Vice Superstar Gallery -

"Jake Gyllenhaal

Jakey's Mr. All American Boy—the (seemingly) perfect sweetheart on his arm, totally jacked up guns and dimples that could kill. But as the saying goes, if something's too good to be true, it totally isn't."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have such a love-hate thing going on with your Blind Vices. I'm obsessed with finding out who they are, and at the same time, I'm disgusted with myself for even wanting to know. I know you can't reveal most Vices, but will you help me get a little closer to overcoming my obsession by telling me if Toothy Tile is featured in your Blind Vice Superstars gallery? And is Rob Pattinson's B.V. Twilight related?
—Way Too Obsessed

Dear Pushing It:
On the first part, I'll give you this: probably. No comment on the second."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Here's a list of the 50 highest-grossing films worldwide, before inflation (with references; don't hate). Has Toothy Tile appeared in one of these films?
—StellsBells

Dear Sneak Attack:
You forgot to add the link so I don't have to answer! (He wasn't in ET, I'll say that much.)"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I just recently had a baby and while I was on maternity leave I kept up with the gossip thanks to you! So one guess I'm probably totally off...Hayden Christensen is Toothy Tile? Love always to you and your furry friends!
—Brionna

Dear Mommy:
No go on H.C. as T2, but congrats on the baby, babe! At least you've got that to celebrate if not a correct B.V. guess. Think more hairy, more mushy."

repeat elim


Also, Jim Carrey was eliominated, Ted says Toothy has a more serious side than Jim.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Jake Gyllenhaal ever met Toothy Tile? Do they have friends in common perhaps?
–Truthseeker

Dear Small Town:
Of course, it's Hollywood."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm new to your column—but already addicted! My question is, if you say Ben Affleck is really into family life with Jen Garner (who, like you, I loathe) than why does he look so miserable in every photo op with said family? I'm sure he loves his adorable daughters—but when will he ditch her already?! Also, I saw that there is a connection between Ben and Toothy—please don't tell me Ben is Toothy Tile! He just can't be! Right?
—Lucie

Dear Happy Hubby?:
He's gloomy 'cause look who he's with! You'd be moody, too. But B.A. doesn't have to worry about being Toothy. Just how to get the hell away from tightass Garner."

repeat elim

blurry vice said...

In Ted's "people who are not toothy" gallery, he gave us 12 people today who we alredy know are not Toothy. No news!

Anonymous said...

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blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Hugh Jackman? He obviously loves his kids and hangs out with his wife and looks happy. But that grin...There's something mischievous about him, and that intriguing grin seems to say, "We all know my secret—if not, think you can guess?" Not that it should matter; we'd love him no matter what! Personally, I love the nuances and lack of white-bread suburbia in anyone willing to risk showing that side of themselves!
—Seattle Suburban Soccer Mom

Dear Guessing Mom:
Someone already guessed that, and I already said nope! Sorry, hon, wrong vice for Hugh. Think less slick."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please tell me, Toothy's not my beloved Johnny Depp, is he?
—Pedward

Dear Sexiest Man Alive:
Nope, you're good to go! He's not even close."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Could you have given us a hint about Toothy Tile in the article about Sandy Bullock? I quote, "Bullock just looks hideous, like something Eddie Murphy would leave behind in a West Hollywood parking lot!" Is Toothy Eddie Murphy?
—E

Dear Digging for Clues:
Not quite, hon. Eddie's Vices are way more out there than Toothy's."

repeat

Anonymous said...

I recall Ted saying that TT had at least once child, and i believe he said that the child is of school age, so it can't be Jake - he has no kids! And TT is married, is he not?

Gemini850 said...

To anon above me...He didn't say that Toothy was married and I don't remember him saying that Toothy child was school age. Also he said in a b-back once that the public don't know that about baby tile.

Anonymous said...

I've always assumed it was Keanu Reeves and he doesn't appear on your "exclusion" list.

Gemini850 said...

I think that Toothy tile is that Peter S guy. The one married to maggie g. and that Jake is grey goose. Peter S. was never eliminated as toothy just as grey goose(twice)

Spangles said...

Pathetic!!!! The whole thing is PATHETIC. Get a life Ted Casablanca. Internet hack papparazzi.

blurry vice said...

anon 12/5 - TEd has said that Toothy and Grey Goose have a child together, who is known by us as Baby Tile. No, he has never said Baby Tile is school aged. Ted has said it was a baby - hence calling the baby "Baby Tile".
We have discussed the existence of Baby Tile at length. No one knows what the deal is with this baby or where it supposedly lives.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Are True Blood costars Alexander Skarsgård and Stephen Moyer secret lovers Toothy Tile and Grey Goose?
—Kate

Dear Hopeful:
I wish I could tell you that these two hot vamps hook up on the DL—but remember, Toothy has been on the scene way longer than either of these two actors, if you add it up."

blurry vice said...

repeat elim

"Dear Ted:
Is Dwayne Johnson Toothy Tile? I could not help notice his teeth do look like bathroom tiles, they are so big and white.
—Ingrid

Dear Tooth Fairy:
No, Toothy isn't that steroid-looking. Like, at all (at least not in real life)."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Chris Pine or Zachary Quinto ever been the subjects of a Blind Vice? Perhaps Toothy Tile and Grey Goose?
—Marissa

Dear Beam Me Up:
Perhaps not. Although, I think Pine and Quinto would make a hot, hot, hot couple and Star Trek could be a lot more interesting with a little captain/alien loving."

blurry vice said...

repeat elim

"Dear Ted:
Are Ricky Martin and his two boys Toothy's partner Grey Goose and their Baby Tile?
—Ted Fan

Dear Journalist:
No, Toothy is far more secretive at pulling stunts than Ricky! "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have been reading your column since early 2000s ('00-'02). I remember you talking about Toothy Tile then. I always thought it was Tommy boy. What say you?
—Flash

Dear Hard to Say:
Which "Tommy boy" are you referring to? Hanks? Interesting, but way off."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was watching the Jimmy Kimmel Live special after the Oscars, which he had Robert Downey Jr. on, and I noticed something about RDJ. I suspect he is a B.V. superstar, perhaps he may even be Nevis Divine, or Toothy Tile. Am I close?
—Sherri

Dear Sherlock Holmes:
RDJ is a Vicer, but you're off on his moniker. Was a while ago, though."

blurry vice said...

REPEAT ELIM

"Dear Ted:
Don't know if you're up for rescue cats as well as dogs, but I have three of them and volunteer one day a week for a local no-kill shelter. My question: Is Toothy Tile George Clooney? I'm sure he's gay, and he always looks unhappy in photos with his "dates."
—Icarus

Dear Cat Lady:
I've got love for all rescue pets, but G.C. is not T2. but maybe George should bring his flask to more outings, because he looked rather smiley at the Oscars."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please out Alex Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth's relationship as the fauxmance/showmance it really is. Something about those two is just...off.
—One lil sparkler

Dear Not Buyin' It:
Skarsgård isn't Toothy Tile, if that's what you're getting at. Kate Bosworth hasn't worked in, what, years now? So it's not like she has anything to promote except maybe attempting to save her Hollywood reputation. Something may be off, but you're on the wrong track just a tad."

blurry vice said...

Repeat elim

"Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Jim Carrey? I have two cats that we rescued, and we love them like mad. Hope that counts toward an answer!
—Anna

Dear Nice Try:
But no! Kisses to your furry ones for me."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
At one point you mentioned that Toothy was born in Texas? This Toothy Tile thing is killing me! I must be superlame, because even with the hints, I haven't got a clue. Is Ryan Cabrera from Texas?
—Barry, the O.C.

Dear Tile and Error:
Nope. Toothy's a celebrity. (Zing!) And, besides, I said he was born west of Texas."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My beloved rescue kitty, Burt, is sick, and we are awaiting test results. I'm trying to take my mind of off the situation (like I could ever do that) by surfing the Internet. I saw some recent photos of John Goodman. Any Vice material here?
—Sad Susan

Dear Susie's Q:
I'm so sorry to hear about poor Burt—feel better, love. I'll give you a few freebies about the newly slim John: He's not Nevis Divine, Crescent Cumquat, Tobey Yum-Yum or Toothy Tile. Does that help? My thoughts and prayers are with your puss!"

kirstenglover8 said...

This is Ted talking about Manfred He-Man...

"He wants this character to have a scene where he tries gay sex," poops a source close to M.H.-M.'s production goings-on. "He thinks that might help pave the way for him, privately, later on."
Whatever works for ya, boyfriend!
Gosh, I wonder if Toothy, the grande dame of on-the-verge fruits, has thought of such a calculating celluloid plan himself?
Yeah, I think so. Think he quashed it, in the end.

Brokeback Mountain (in which Jake Gyllenhaal has gay sex scenes) came out in 2005. The Manfred He-Man vice came out in 2007. How can Toothy be Jake if Ted says Toothy "quashed" the idea of having a gay sex scene as of 2007?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted;
Admit it, Jonathan Bennett is, in fact, the one and only Toothy Tile.
—Mindy

Dear T2 Lives On:
Way more popular."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Toothy Tile's identity hit me the other day while I was waiting in line to buy some beef. I know you can't confirm any names, so just answer this: Is he good at accents, not afraid of animation and can get his spy on? My yorkie Peanut sends kisses!
—Melissa

Dear Laying Tile:
Big kisses back to your pup and a sorry to his mommy, 'cause actually T2 isn't really great at any of those things. Surprisingly, you're zero for three."

blurry vice said...

repeat elim

"Dear Ted:
Two questions for ya today, Ted! I recently saw that Adam Levine commented on hoe (sorry I meant how) our beloved Jakey G and his gay rumors are false blah blah blah. What's your opinion? And I know I've asked you this a lot but is Jonathan Rhys Meyers Toothy Tile or Grey Goose? Hope to hear from you soon!
–Samm

Dear Levine-Curious:
There's no doubt Levine and Jakey are BFFs, but how does the hunky Maroon 5-er thinks he's helping Jake's case by screaming about his pal's sex life, regardless the reason? I really have no friggin' clue here. This was clearly a bro brain fart. And Jonathan is neither Toothy nor Grey. Not sexy enough!"

kirstenglover8 said...

toothy is SO not jake!

first, ted would never out anyone and he's so obviously pushing jake for toothy tile that it can't be him. if toothy really is as crazy in-the-closet as the vices say he is there's no way he'd let ted make such obvious hints. and anyways ted would never do that.

second, as i mentioned before, ted made a comment about toothy thinking about doing a gay sex scene but then 'quashing' the idea in the end. this comment was made AFTER brokeback mountain.

thirdly, lainey has flat out said twice now (that i've read - maybe more) that jake is straight. From her liveblog today:

Question from Johanna: Ok Lainey. You are a cynic like me. Don't you think something is fishy with this new "romance"? Just last week, Reese's camp leaks that she is getting engaged. TS's album dropped this week, and Jakey has a movie to promote. I smell a PR setup. Do you?

Answer from Lainey: a little but then again, no. I can’t decide. On her end, ok, I might buy it. On his end, I mean he has a love story movie coming out in which he will no doubt make women quiver everywhere... it makes no strategic sense at all to hook him up with anyone other than Anne Hathaway. And this isn’t exactly high level deductive reasoning. A publicity intern could figure that out. And Jake has great representation. They would know this. So it’s hard for me to wrap my head around that particular conspiracy. And before you all start in on this again – NO, he is NOT gay. Calling him gay just because you don’t like his taste in women is absurd.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
This is like, my quadrillionth email to you (though I know you won't reply), and while I am not a fan of your love for a certain bad Twilight actress, I will say that I am an avid reader of your Blinds. Subsequently, after eons of contemplation, my genius sister has deciphered who Toothy Tile is: Seann William Scott.
—ECC

Dear Cocky One:
Sorry to your sis, but you're off on Toothy. Though, not a terrible guess. Like, at all."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
I am bored with cabin fever in the great iced-over state of Texas right now and have been rereading the Toothy Tile archives, and I may be in left field with this guess but could T2 be Charlie Sheen?
—Julie in Texas

Dear Blown Away:
Not a terrible guess, J, but Toothy would never air his dirty laundry the way Sheen can't stop doing. T.T. is a much more private and smart guy. Charlie has been a Blind Vice before though and you're not too far off."

Lee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Jamie Foxx Toothy Tile?
—christineh511

Dear Laughable:
It's guesses like this that make me love my job. Hell, no, and not by a looong shot."

T said...

Juat found this today after being sent here by another link and just based on some of the comments and hints (I could be WAY off) but I am guessing Rob Lowe??? Just throwing it out there.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So how much do we love Zachary Quinto right now? Coming out in Jamey Rodemeyer's memory he brought me to tears, he really did. C'mon, Toothy, be a real man

and step out of that closet, now!
—Christina

Dear Straight Today, Gay Tomorrow:
Couldn't agree with ya more, C. We love Zachary's candid coming out and think he approached the topic in a most honorable way. Unfortunately, not every dude

in H'wood has the guts of Quinto, so we're not getting our hopes up that Toothy Tile will come out anytime soon. Plus, Toothy's status as a sex symbol means

he has a lot more to lose. Still, not a complete impossibility.

Dear Ted:
With Zachary Quinto coming out, I gotta ask, is he Toothy? And if not, does Toothy have the same hair color as Zach?
—Monty

Dear The Boys Club:
Where've you been, babe? I already told ya that Zachary is our hunky Kirk Dogmatic. But Toothy has a similar hair color to Z.Q. most days."

Lee said...

Ok so this is such a question, J C, ok so you now how a clue in the past was that at some point this actor worked with Jennifer Aniston, I know there's hints here and there with the age, and honestly I'm wondering if this guy's already been eliminated, but how about Edward Norton, yes check his IMDB page he's not married so uh...fair game, right?
Now this took me forever, and uh I'm partly responsible for uh basically outing this other actor by asking Ted a different question on toothy and then months later he mentions that person, so uh, maybe it's on purpose that Norton hasn't been eliminated and it's not bc he's not toothy, or maybe it's bc the WAY TED SAID SOMETHING INSINUATED that Toothy was younger, or maybe he already eliminated him but uh I'm finally publically unveiling a guess here and saying Edward Norton could be toothy or hell even GG?

Thoughts?

Lee said...

so uh has he eliminated Edward Norton, like directly, or what guys?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Greetings from glorious Down Under. I've got it. The gorgeous, geeky, dimpled, slightly off-center Paul Rudd is Toothy Tile. Right?
—Sonny

Dear Aussie Offie:
Nope. Not even that close, really. Except, perhaps, possibly a little on the physical side. And think more cerebral.

Dear Ted:
I've been reading your column for awhile now, and I am terrible at guessing the Vices, but I have a guess for Toothy Tile, and I just had to ask...any chance

it's Bruce Willis? Thanks!
—XOXO

Dear Way Off:
Think younger and hotter. And far less settled down that Bruce is these days.

Dear Ted:
Jake Gyllenhaal is an A-list movie star, and Source Code did really well. So, why isn't he in any movies? Other guys his age, from Ryan Gosling to Leo

DiCaprio, are making a couple of movies per year. I know some stars slow down when they have a young family, but Jake doesn't have that reason, right? He's

not been in a relationship for years now (I don't count Taylor Swift). What gives?
—Khakipants4eva

Dear the Price for Privacy:
Sorry, K, but Jake's just into his personal time. Don't worry about the sexy dude—just because you haven't seen or heard much about him in public doesn't

mean that he doesn't have plenty going on in his private life. Just sayin'."

blurry vice said...

Lee-

Here's the thing. Ted semi-revealed Toothy to be Jake G. a few years ago. If you don't believe Toothy is Jake, fine. But I don't think he is Edward Norton based on the fact that Ted used Jake's photo with a Toothy article in 2006.

Maybe you should write a letter to Ted with your guess and see what he says, OK?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been a loyal reader for years! Love your column. Finally decided to take a guess at one of the BV's. Is Toothy Tile a moniker for John Travolta? Love you!
—Anna

Dear No:
J.T.'s got a different moniker. Oh, and T2 also isn't any of these guys.

(People who are not Toothy gallery: http://www.eonline.com/photos/gallery.jsp?galleryUUID=1594 - Zac Efron, Will SMith, Brad Pitt, Gerard Butler, Matthew
McConaughey, Ben Affleck, Kevin Spacey, Shia LeBeouf, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling, Rob Pattinson, Bradley Cooper)

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile about to play the bearding game again? I know it is a part of showbiz, but I was so hoping Toothy was about to be done with the Old Hollywood ways.
—Tommy

Dear Pause:
Not like he has in the past, but I hardly doubt that Tooth's days with fakey GFs are over. Hardly, actually, and yes, it breaks my heart just as much as yours.

Dear Ted:
I have been so busy at work this week that I have been neglecting my gossip columns. I finally get a chance to check in and I find out that Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli are getting divorced, Charlize Theron has adopted a baby and Jessica Simpson still hasn't given birth...what is going on?! On a separate note, I have been curious about Jake Gyllenhaal's relationships for a while. The only girlfriend that I saw any real chemistry with was Kirsten Dunst. What ever happened between them?
—Diane

Dear Welcome Back:
Ugh, I totally heart Charlize and little Jackson already. She is going to make a divine mama. But on to your question: Jakeypoo had the most chemistry with KiKi. And if he were going to make it work with any of his famous GFs, she woulda been the one to beat…unfortunately, it just wasn’t in the cards."

blurry vice said...

List organized and alphabetized!

Unknown said...

Has anyone ever considered that by saying who Toothy Tile is not that the author is essentially outing everyone who is? That is the genius of the game!

Lee said...

I know Ted's said that Toothy tile isn't Owen Wilson, but seriously what about Luke Wilson, or hell has Jason Segel been eliminated, wait, toothy only really does movies, shit, wait what about someone like Josh Holloway but not? DAMN IT. Wait is daniel-day-lewis married, wait he's british, damn it, oh and gamese on for ALL those born after Tom Cruise and George Clooney, based on Ted's main clues, perhaps early 70s,mid 60s? HMM. Wait maybe Toothy's actually a blonde, I know the hints are hard in Jake's direction but can't toothy be a blonde?!. fuck need to wiki it and then cross reference it with every name that even remotely sticks out, wait what about Sam Wentworth? has he been eliminated, wait is he married? serious question there.

Lee said...

wait what about Wes Bentley as either of them,toothy or grey, or is that too out there? wait or that guy who makes movies or has made movies that's name is also Wes., I believe, damn it Ted this blind makes me feel so old, or something due to how long its been around, damn it i'm 22 will I have to wait until i'm 25 or later for this to EVER GET OUT, or rather for toothy to EVER BE OUT?!

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