Friday, November 6, 2009

Blind Vice: Back From the Dead and Bisexual, Too!

New BV from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Back From the Dead and Bisexual, Too!

There's a humpy dude who's still gorgeous and who used to be on a hit TV show that was often centered around lots of sand, and lots of boobs.

Let's call him Sandy Boob then, shall we?

Sure is pretty, that Sandy! He's also notoriously horny, and has been for many, many years, which, for the record, is about as much time it's been since Sandy's been a relevant player in the biz. Hmm. Could that be why Sandy's suddenly getting less and less discreet about the fact that he likes to do what Crotch Uh-Lastic does, i.e, seduce guys to watery locales?

Yeah, probably, but guess what? Now that Sandy's career is on hiatus (and has been for some time), Sandy's friends tell us Mr. Boob decided for that very reason to start...

...not only acting out more sexually (hey, a release is a release, right?), but to also intentionally do it in a more cavalier fashion. Secretly hoping to get caught, just so he can deny it. After all, Sandy likes girls, has procreated, and always looks butch when he's caught checking himself out in the mirror. You know the look, right? They sort of grimace when they're checking their perfectly disheveled hair—like it's so paining them to do so.

Well, that just about sums up Sandy's acting talents, come to think of it. But that's beside the point—or not? After all, the only reason Mr. Boob's strutting it out there so much lately is because he's dying for some heat on his career again. If not on his thighs.

And it ain't: Brian Austin Green, Jason Priestley, Peter Gallagher

Update Nov 20 - Ted has also eliminated David Hasselhoff, Matt LeBlanc

Could it be Luke Perry or David Charvet?

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im thinking David Charvet. He was on Baywatch. He has at least one kid with Brooke Burke (Burns? I cant keep those two straight)

M said...

I really like the Luke Perry guess...

Anonymous said...

Hasselhoff?

Anonymous said...

What about Antonio Sabato Jr.?

duffgrl said...

I thought of David Charvet,too, especially because the show definitely sounds more Baywatch than 90210. But he is still w/ Brooke Burke, they have 2 kids. Sandy Boob is willing to get caught though; this would make me lean towards the other guesses- LP and the Hoff are both divorced (I think)

M and D said...

i initially thought hasselhoff too, but the clue says the guy is "still gorgeous" - i don't think anyone thinks hasselhoff is still gorgeous...

i second the luke perry vote (although the clue does sound more baywatch than 90210).

Matan4il said...

Another thing that cancels the Hoff guess is that Sandy is supposed to have been away from the limelight enough to be this desperate. While America's Got Talent isn't the bestest show ever (then again, neither was Baywatch), Hoff does work regularly and does get enough exposure to sound like he doesn't fit the BV.

sistah2 said...

Its gotta be someone from Baywatch. Ted hints strongly about a sandy beach. 90210 was not really much to do about a beach.
There were tons of airheaded guys on Baywatch, could be any one of them.

Anonymous said...

Ted just eliminated The Hoff

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Sandy Boob David Hasselhoff? Thank you!
—New A.T. Fan in SacTown

Dear Boob be known:
Close, but wrong! Guess again. Think much younger, far less offensive. "

duffgrl said...

My bet is still David Charvet...esp. since Ted said "close" on The Hoff. There have been rumors about Charvet for years apparently; one that he had a relationship w/ Ethan Embry.
David Chochacki (SP?) is already out apparently.(he was on Baywatch too)

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Sandy Boob Peter Gallagher? And is Keanu Reeves Nevis Divine? Love you!
—Mariana

Dear Double Whammy:
Wrong and more wrong! Younger. Love ya right back."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Sandy Boob Matt LeBlanc? Not an obvious guess, but Joey and Chandler watched Baywatch all the time, his character on Days of Our Lives fell down an elevator shaft and died, and Joey never met a mirror he didn't like. Thank you for making me laugh every day!
—PopCultureWhore

Dear All Fancy-Ass:
Nice try! And I love your show-within-a-show detective work. But everybody knows the Awful Truth's not exactly French Cinema-like with subliminal and overly sophisticated clues. Sandy's show took place at the beach, it's really that simple. And, no, he's not Matt, but you've certainly got the right bod type."

Anonymous said...

I think it's Ian Sommerhalder 9spelling?) the guy from Lost who is now on The Vampire Diaries (back from the dead...)

Theres another one that could be him too, I'm trying to find it.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Ted said on 11/3 that Ian wasn't a blind vice YET, but soon...

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