Sunday, September 7, 2008

One Boyishly Bothered Blind Vice

New Ted BV Sept 5:

One Boyishly Bothered Blind Vice

Isn't it interesting Lloyd Boy-Toyed is undertaking his latest media campaign to fight off rumors about everything under the tabloid sun—every topic save the one he wants to get out: that he sometimes likes young dudes in bed. Not Michael Jackson-style, mind you, but he sometimes likes 'em young. And to keep quiet. And you know what that means, doncha girlfriends? Occasionally Mr. Boy-Toyed's gotta give 'em the green. What a cold, hard, cashed-out town this can be, huh?
Saturday Night Live - Best of Alec BaldwinLet's see, Lloyd's busy mouthing off about his nasty battles with most everybody in the Biz, not to mention his more cherished (and known) companions and relatives. He appears to be a total crank-a-thon, really, but don't believe it for a sec. Oh, some of it's real, that's fer sure, but it's mostly for show, I assure you.
I have firsthand knowledge of Lloyd's more cunning agendas—not to mention the ones he prefers to get underway under the covers. Don't ask me how. I can't tell! I'm a married man now! I would never embark on something as nasty as tattling 'tween the sheets when I've got a superhoney at home. Quite the opposite of how Lloyd goes about things, trust.
Really, though, as sloppy as Lloyd's getting in the attempting-to-score department, he's gonna be out long before our beloved Toothy Tile, I assure you. Oh, and Lloyd-baby, I don't care, really. But, your blind-as-merde fans sure will. I say screw it, already! (Like you have so many guys.)
And It Ain't: Matthew Perry, David Duchovny, Kanye West


Update 9/25/11 - Ted has eliminated Matthew Perry, David Duchovny, Kanye West, Jon Voight, John Mayer, Ralph Fiennes, (Aaron Eckhart ?), John Travolta, Dean Cain, Billy Burke, George Clooney, Daniel Craig, Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman

Please refer to the label below for links to the three newer LBT BVs.


Our top suspect: Alec Baldwin

25 comments:

blurry vice said...

I was thinking Michael Lohan but I don't think he really has fans, not the kind Ted is referring to. Otherwise, the range is too broad right now to pinpoint anyone, until we get more clues.

Anonymous said...

I think Alec Baldwin for this one. He has famously ranted about Studio execs, his brothers and ex-wife. There is an article with him describing his East Hampton personality as meat eater, homosexual and listening to loud rock. I don't get the AIAs. Someone on Ted's sight pointed out a connection with ranting about moving to France and Ted italicizing merde.

sistah2 said...

I immediately thought Alec B. also.
I am not convinced tho....I just dont see him as gay. Then again, acc to TEd and all these BV's (especially if he does not repeat/ rename anyone) it seems half of straight HWOOD is bi/gay!

Boss Bunny said...

Alec Baldwin seems like a good fit, especially after hearing him on 60 Minutes last night.

I saw someone's guess of George Clooney, but I don't think there have been any problems with relatives. Plus, can you imagine George having to pay for it?

Anonymous said...

I thought of Alec Baldwin at first but I think it's Kevin Spacey.

Lloyd was his character's name in American Beauty and the line about the 'tabloid sun' indicates a recent photo with Kevin shown with a young guy over his knees with his pants pulled down.

Anyway... my guess is Kevin Spacey

sistah2 said...

I know this is probably a bad guess, but what about Jeremy Piven? first thing I thought of when I read the name "lloyd boy toy" was that character from Enterouge that is gay. His boss is JP. Any connection? Or am i way off?

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Is Lloyd Boy-Toyed Jon Voight?
—Marilyn

Dear Angelina:
Haven't you gotten enough revenge on your father already? Answer's no.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ted:
Does Lloyd Boy-Toyed have good-looking famous siblings?
—Maria

Dear Sexy Sibs:
That would be an affirmative.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ted:
Does Lloyd Boy-Toyed have good-looking famous siblings?
—Maria

Dear Sexy Sibs:
That would be an affirmative.

Colts#1Filly said...

Sounds like it def has to be Alec Baldwin then...he's been all over the news in verbal sparrings with multiple ppl lately. Hmm, I'm not really all that surprised its him.

Anonymous said...

Definitely Alec Baldwin. Before he fell in love with current flame and got married, Ted Casablanca went on and on about how in love he was with Alec Baldwin.

Anonymous said...

Check out Ted's article about Kanye West and Alec Baldwin's anger, especially Alec's family ranting. And Kanye was listed in the AIAs (And it Ain't)s. I think it's totally Alec. Good looking sibs?...maybe Billy in the 90's. I do like Alec though, I hope he works out his anger issues. I read something recently about him wanting to run for office - no way!
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b28557_kanye_vs_alec_battle_on_biggest_a-hole.html

FrivolousMeanderer said...

Great clue, anon! Wow, I totally didn't see this coming from Alec Baldwin (I've been an enormous fan of 30 Rock since before episode 1 aired!), but he does strike me as rather effeminate looking, as does every man in this industry.

FrivolousMeanderer said...

The AIA of Matthew Perry could be a Baldwin clue; Friends was a hit NBC comedy show, now 30 Rock is.

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Is Lloyd Boy-Toyed John Mayer?
—Kissthebandit

Dear Not the Tot:
Think much older less doable by far.

Baited Breath said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Lloyd is John Cusack, for sure

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been piecing together your clues—is Lloyd Boy-Toyed Ralph Fiennes?
—Hi from New York

Dear Not So Finetastic:
Lloyd isn't quite as dreamy as Ralph, sorry, darlin'. Maybe he used to be? Yeah, he sure did."

Suzanne said...

Not only was Friends an NBC hit and now 30 Rock is... but Alec Baldwin was in an episode of Friends, as Phoebe's overly chipper BF...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Was reading some old Blind Vices and I have a random question for you. Who do you think is more famous? Jake Gyllenhaal or Alec Baldwin? Just wondering!
—Janele

Dear Random:
While Jake was being all boresville with Reese, Alec was attacking photographers and calling his daughter a pig on her voicemail. It's a toss-up who's more famous, but Alec is definitely more infamous."

Samm said...

He said that LBT won't come out because of family, Stephan Baldwin is super religious-could it be Alec?

blurry vice said...

Alec Baldwin made the BV superstar gallery -

"Much love for A.B., secrets and all! This sweaty, yet somehow oddly still-doable guy has been around a long time, so naturally he's carried his baggage with him. Through a lotta tricky times—and we ain't just talkin' voice-mails here, sugar. Wonder if it will come out if he leaves 30 Rock in 2012?"

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/photos/gallery.jsp?galleryUUID=1463#87153#ixzz0xdbAzTAg

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I ran across the movie Serendipity the other day, and it stars my celebrity crush John Cusack. I was wondering if he has ever had a Vice? If so, I hope it's

nothing bad because that would be heartbreaking.
—Dollie

Dear Dirty Cusack:
Nope. No Vice in his closet. But that hardly means his closet is empty."

Jessie said...

Latest blind vice from Ted today mentions LBT hiring male prostitutes! That definitely coincides with the "tricky times" mentioned in the blind vice superstar gallery!

blurry vice said...

Update: Ted semi-revealed this in his last week of the column. It's Alec Baldwin. See comments under most recent post for details.

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