One Rock Hudson Blind Vice - January 2005
A nanosecond after she splits with her better half, Slippery Polly's got a sapphic sweetie--Pussy Pat
First, the query I'm asked the most (and, no, I'm afraid I can't answer "eight inches," just like Robin Williams did backstage at the Globes when I told him there was a question I was dying to ask him--which was why Brad 'n' Jen broke up, not what Robin had in mind!) is true: The answer to each week's Blind Vice lies within each column.
Secondly, some things never change. Like parading around a wife or girlfriend, just because that's what the public wants to see, when, in reality, you're a same-sex kinda creature, just like ol' Rock was.
Well, so is Slippery Polly, gotta tell ya. Howevuh, So Obvious Polly will soon be her name if she doesn't start watching it, I mean, really. See, S.P. recently left her partner. And quicker than you could say, "I like the lesbian life!" Ms. Slip hooked up with Pussy Pat, somebody not a few folks know is more interested in Polly's press-release capabilities than any moans or sweet-nothings Poll-babe might be releasing at beddie time. As friggin' if!
Now, not only is Polly getting messier and messier with her manic drive for anybody butch who wears a bra (Pussy not included), but P2 is now starting to wander as well, and--my guess--we're gonna be seeing yet another fake hookup or marriage generated by Polly none too soon. Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice to deceive, huh?
And it ain't: Portia DeRossi, Whitney Houston, Nicole Kidman
Also eliminated: Anne Heche, Jennifer Aniston, Natalie Portman