Saturday, July 28, 2012

Lainey - Cucumber

New from Lainey from Wed July 25.  Sorry for the delay, was on a vacay.

Cucumber
Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.
They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.
At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.
A cucumber.
In the garden.
At a party.
With a cucumber.
She enjoyed it.
They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.

Top suspects: Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger

29 comments:

blurry vice said...

I was thinking the Beckhams when I read it. (Gross!) But Lainey had two articles appear this week with Harper 7, with no clues towards this. We need more hints. Will look in her column again.
Also, I was away this week, so if you readers know something that I missed on this, please share. It will take me a while to read through everything on her site and twitter.

EV said...

My 1st thought was the Beckman's as well, but on several other sites the popular guess is Joshua Jackson & Diane Kruger which fits very well.

Brooke said...

My first thought was Brangelina...although I don't usually read Lainey, and if she's partial to writing with her own set of clues, or code, I'm likely to miss that. But they were the first ones to come to mind when she talks about travelling the world & their sense of adventure going beyond geography.

Rita said...

@EV - I really like your guess!

Diane Krugar and Joshua Jackson have traveled the world together, been together for a few years now, and Lainey seems often intent on highlighting how much they are still passionate, with pictures of them making out.

Although this got me wondering if said vegetable had previously been washed... or at the very least is organic and pesticide free... And well, it's produce, and not a third or fourth party. Or even cheating.

This blind leaves one in a pickle!

BlahBlahBlah said...

I read somewhere that Kruger and Jackson have an appartment in Paris, he films fringe in Canada and shes also a model....they fit for me

hordac said...

I thought immediately of the Beckhams too, but I like the Jackson/Kruger guess. Indeed a pickle tee hee! I don't know, it just seems that Posh wouldn't go for this and for a married couple that has been together as long as them, it seems unlikely. Also, she seems so tiny if you get my drift... ewww.

hordac said...

Hey, how about William and Catherine??? ;-) Can you imagine!

Rita said...

Hordac, I really missed the sick-puppy side of your personality!

However, it wouldn't be William, more like dirty Harry...

But Jackson and Kruger (now that is some kinky salad dressing name) look good for this. Especially that Joshua escorts her all around the world for anything movie paneling and fashion obligations.

Michelle said...

I think this blind is kinda funny - doesn't make me think less of the 2 in it, a little kinky, but to each their own. That is unless they didn't throw the cucumber out and left it in the garden for some unsuspecting poor sole. That's just a hygiene issue.

EV said...

More reason that this could be Joshua & Diane is that Vancouver is his hometown & his show "Fringe" is shot there. Since Lainey is also Vancouver based, it's an easy assumption to make that the party was in Vancover where she would have insider access & good sources.

He just recently left Vancover to head back to LA.

PrincessTiff said...

The only thing that makes me question Jackson/Kruger is I don't know that anyone considers him fashionable. I could certainly be wrong, but he seems too under the radar to be fashionable.

hordac said...

Oh for sure Harry!! Hot Harry on a Horse, as Lainey refers to him! He's not with that Chelsea chick anymore. Oh man, those two I could totally see being into this kind of thing. LOL Michelle re tossing the cucumber aside for someone else. I am not the only sick puppy I see!

Viking Girl said...

Oh my god, that's brilliant -I really REALLY want this to be Harry and whoever!! I'll never look at a cucumber sandwich in the same light again. Just the thought of it makes me grin.

NyxDeluxe said...

diane is considered a fashionista (and like someone who can get away with high fashion, similar to cate blanchet and tilda swinton) and he admits to her dressing him when they go out together.

Seonaid Divine said...

This is totally Angelina and Brad.
I hope they burned it but I can see her slipping it into a salad. Disgusting.

medusa said...

So, off topic, but since this blind did mention Kristen Stewart... wasn't there a blind out there earlier this year about a young franchise star actress involved with her director? People were guessing Rooney Mara because of the way she acted around the Dragon Tattoo director during press for that film, if I recall.

Michelle said...

@Medusa - was it from Lainey? If it was from Ted, problem with that is Kristen was already a BV so couldn't be another one.

Jana said...

@medusa, was this the blind you were thinking of?

http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/2011/11/lainey-theyre-creeping-everyone-out.html

Rita said...

I also believe by timelines Kristen Stewart was confirmed to be Terry Tush-Trade in the Awful Truth blinds. You can check in the section hot links/Our list of Blind Vice reveals etc.

ibrewtea said...

This is Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson...she posted about them maybe 3 posts after the bv

Whitney said...

I'd say this is a pretty solid reveal:

http://www.laineygossip.com/Articles/Details/24382/Diane-Kruger-and-Joshua-Jackson-spend-time-with-his-sister-and-niece-in-Vancouver

ea3232 said...

hahahaha

Diane enjoyed her vegetables. She certainly has a vegetable-enjoying figure.

Rita said...
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Rita said...

You ladies are sure quick!

I came here to confirm and thank the heavens that Lainey has the subtlety of sledge hammer between the eyes.

Laughed so hard on Diane's love of vegetables... I'm wondering though about her appetite:

Was the cucumber an English one (yowza!), or was it one of those small Baladi cucumbers?

And three cheers to EV who had guessed this first!

julie said...

I have to second her subtlety. That was awesome.

Sugar said...
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Caz1310 said...

hehe Diane ..."certainly has a vegetable-enjoying figure". I'll never look at these two the same way again.

EV said...

Thanks Rita! I came here too to check if anyone caught the hints today, but got beat to the punch.

blurry vice said...

Interesting!!! Joshua and Diane it is.

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