Blind Vice: Young Gay Movie Star in Heat!
Gorgeous young stud Parrish Maguire is as crafty with publicity as he is shy with his fans. Trust us on this one: He's no tormented Toothy Tile, who can't decide which side of the closet door he wants to be on. Parrish has his feet firmly planted inside his walk-in closet (which holds an unfortunate assortment of Lycra, we're sorry to report), where he fully plans on remaining.
Especially since Mr. Maguire has such magnificent male company to keep him satisfied...
As in a hot boyfriend he's absolutely koo-koo horny for and has had for a while now. And this romantic situation was in full force long before Parrish's handlers saw to it to fix him up with luscious, multitalented celeb Priscilla Desert, who has a bit more experience with boys than even Parrish himself does!
The funny thing is, really, that Parrish's friends are even more cavalier about discussing his same-sex bent than even Toothy's buds are—which is really saying something. It's just that Maguire's personal pals think there's such a disconnect between their crowd and Parrish's suddenly gigantic fanbase, they figured word would never trickle down.
Well, isn't that what gossip columns are for?
Exactly. And let's just say Maguire's pro advisers have been far more clammed up in discussing their client's true sexual preference—and they'd like to keep it that way, and Parrey doesn't mind in the least. Ah, such fun to be young and have not convictions yet; it's so much easier that way! (Poor Toothy.)
By the way, this pretty-open life that Parrish led prior to his meteoric rise to hot-stud fame suddenly explains why he almost didn't get his current fab job. Makes perfect sense.
But so, too, does how Parrish's studio employers decided to get Parrish hooked up with Priscilla ASAP.
And the only difference between Parrish and Toothy here is that P-boy doesn't mind his fakey tabloid ride in the least; Toothy loathes it.
Hmm. Who's going to last longer, in the end?
And It Ain't: Justin Timblerlake, Ryan Kwanten, Liam Hemsworth
For Parrish Maguire:
As of 7/5/12 - Ted has eliminated Justin Timberlake, Ryan Kwanten, Liam Hemsworth, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Pine, Channing Tatum, Sebastian Stan, Nick Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber, Joe Jonas, Emile Hirsch, Henry Cavill, James Franco, Michael Cera, Chris Hemsworth, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling, Joe Jonas, Xavier Samuel, Daniel Radcliffe, Joe Manganiello, Kellan Lutz, Josh Hutcherson.
Please refer to the label below for links to the many other Parrish Maguire BVs.
Here is the link to the Priscilla Desert BV from October 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated.
Top guesses:
Parrish Maguire - Taylor Lautner
Priscilla Desert - Taylor Swift
* Parrish Maguire was proven by timeline of Ted's dates he was and wasn't a BV to be Taylor Lautner.
* Priscilla Desert was proven by timeline of Ted's dates she was and wasn't a BV to be Taylor Swift.
120 comments:
Alexander Skarsgard?
OH NO!! it can't be him, he's not that young by hollywood standards and kate bosworth hasn't had that many men
I <3 Alexander Skarsgard, i would be a very disapointed girl
I think Skarsgard is the one out jogging.
Lautner/Swift
Hemsworth/Virus Cyrus
N.Jonas/Selena
Hemsworth is one of the AIAs so NOT him. So not Lautner/Swift- I wouldn't call Taylor Swift "experienced". Also, the BV says that PM had a "pretty-open life" prior to his meteoric rise"- Lautner is only 17 now-not that he couln't have been out but it sounds like this person is at least in their 20s.
In Louisiana, where True Blood is based, the counties are called Parishes. I thing this is a hint for Alexander Skarsgard.
I vote for Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift.
Ted has comments all week in his column about the 'break-up'.
This was from Ted's twitter account this past Monday:
Oh, and guess what? More #Twilight sexy stars making their naughty Vice debut later this week...when do these guys sleep?
11:30 AM Jan 4th from web
The blind says that Priscilla has "a bit more" experience. That could be in their age difference - 19 vs. 17. Ted's also been hinting about Taylor L in his column for months and about how more would come since he's about to be legal age.
It's definitely Taylor Lautner.
Priscillia has to be Taylor Swift or maybe the other one Selena Gomez.
Gotta be Taylor Lautner.
"...suddenly explains why he almost didn't get his current fab job."
Wasn't there talk of Taylor Lautner being replaced after Twilight? The official line was because he wasn't buff enough but maybe....??
Ted said today in bitch back that this isn't the anticipated new Twilight Blind, so not Taylor and Taylor.
While he's witty, I hate his doublespeak sometimes, but it's addictive. Was it really denying that this BV was Twilight related - he only said it wasn't the one he had in mind. He didn't seem to deny it wasn't related to Twilight.
I think this is Zac Efron. I never thought he fit Jackie Bouffant and it seems like he's long overdue for becoming a BV. Priscilla Desert definitely sounds like it could be Vanessa Hudgens who really didn't seem too shy in all those leaked nude photos.
I completely agree, Brittany. This one just screams "Zac Efron/Vanessa Hudgens" to me.
Taylor Lautner for the win. Taylor Swift has had a long-term relationship before, which is more experience than 17-year-old Lautner is purported to have.
I immediately thought Effron/Hudgens, too. Current fab job - HSM?
Dear Ted:
You had mentioned that you were going to have a Twilight Blind Vice coming soon. Was Parrish Maguire the one you were referring to?
—APB- NC
Dear Twitter Follower:
Parrish wasn't the one I had in mind for this Friday, no
Lautner is out of the running
(Though my gaydar is buzzing for him)
The And It Aint's really make me think its Chris Hemsworth, was linked to Natalie Portman recently but the actual BV does match really them.
sorry meant *doesnt match them
"Dear Ted:
You had mentioned that you were going to have a Twilight Blind Vice coming soon. Was Parrish Maguire the one you were referring to?
—APB- NC
Dear Twitter Follower:
Parrish wasn't the one I had in mind for this Friday, no."
Hasn't Zac Efron been a BV for awhile, and what "current fab job" does he have?
could it be chace crawford??
Crawford I do believe is crescent kuqsquat or something like that.
When I read this I immediately thought of zac efron. Vanessa hudgens fits priscilla because of her "experience with men" (i.e. Nude photos). Not sure what his current job is...that seems to fit Taylor L although why would Ted write a BV about a couple that's already broken up? And swifty doesn't seem like the type to be considered experienced with men. I think Ted likes to stir up twilight drama because it attracts more readers, so he hints at twilight even though it is not.
It could be Zachary Quinto.
Efron is in overkill mode. This week TMZ had him doing ridiculous stunts to up his "butch" factor. That has him working a bit harder than just taking on a beard. Also Efron/Hudgins has been going on for years, and Ted hints that this fix-up is recent.
Oye Vey put the pieces together--
Nope I have it!! It's Matthew Morrison from Glee! He is a singer * dancer like JT. There are a few photos of him floating around in Lycra short-shorts plus he was in Rocky Horror on Broadway (plenty of Lycra there). He was on Australian Idol. He was also on Broadway in South Pacific and Australia is part of the South Pacific. He also has a long-distance relationship with a Hawaiian girlfriend. He is about the same age a Ryan. Studio implies an ongoing relationship and Fox would def have an issue with a gay lead. Parrish has two Rs and Matthew has two Ts. Macguire & Morrison both Anglo-Saxon.
In this week's Bitch-Back, Ted said "A lot of those Glee boys have a few things they need to fess up to."
In Jan'10 Elle interview with Glee's Matthew Morrison (where he claims he is not gay but the interviewer is not convinced) they discuss his relationship with Salma Hayek and the rumors of their romance.
And then the photo http://adeandabet.tumblr.com/post/287582784/matthew-morrison-from-glee-kissing-andy-coopers
Ted also makes multiple mentions of Jared Palecki's engagement and how faux it is. That's where I'm putting my money.
WOW thanks for that link of Matthew Morrison. Reguardless if this blind is about him or not I was wondering about his sexuality and I am no more. He def fits all this except who would be the star they are pairing him with.I'll be looking for that, a girlfriend in Hawaii doesn't count. Also that show is like a gay rights march why would he try to now hide what he is why lie? So stupid.
Matthew Morrison is hardly a "movie star." I think you're really reaching on some of your clues. And neither does he have a multitalented celeb beard. Furthermore, the item makes it sound as though Parrish is younger than Toothy, and Matthew Morrison is NOT younger than Jake Gyllenhaal, I don't think.
I think the Zachary Quinto guess was probably closer to who we're looking for, though he's too old and doesn't have a beard either.
We need a movie star who has shot to fame ("meteoric rise"), is shy with fans, is maybe in a franchise (current fab job)?
Dlisted is crying foul on that photo of Matthew Morrison, btw: http://dlisted.com/node/34624
Personally, I think it looks as much like Justin Timberlake as Matthew Morrison.
I think that it is that guy from Avatar - Sam Worthingon? some of the clues and aia's seem to point to someone australian.
Hmmm... agreed on that last clue - Liam, Ryan and Priscilla Q of Desert are all Australian pointers. Not sure on Sam he's too old maybe and sounds like an ongoing job rather than one off role. Or is the gf Aussie?
I think Zachary Quinto is already out? Or at least every one knows and no one denies he is gay.
I also thought everyone knew Sam Worthington is gay. Does he have a tabloid gf? His current jobs are Terminator and Avatar, both are looking to be franchises.
Justin Timberlake: child performer who grew into an adult one
Ryan Kwanten: young performer in vampire-related series
Liam Hemsworth: dating Miley Cyrus
"This was not THE ONE I had in mind, no" means that this is still possibly a Twilight post, but not the one Ted had "planned." He's annoying enough to do that. It's all semantics; he's just throwing out a red herring.
Therefore, according to the rest of the clues:
Taylor Lautner/Taylor Swift
Ted's blinds are just riddles and word puzzles. You really just need to analyze his writing like you're looking for a theme in literature.
Sam Worthington's current date is Natalie Mark, a stylist. She hardly qualifies as multi-talented.
RYAN REYNOLDS
-Maguire: Tobey Maguire plays Spiderman, a DC comic superhero, Ryan will play the Green Lantern, A Marvel comic superhero
-Lycra: material of superhero costumes (Ryan also played in Wolverine movie, rumored to play in Avengers movie)
-With "luscious" multi-talented woman - ScarJo has a vuluptous body (luscious), she is an actress/singer/model
-meteoric rise: Ryan rumored to play Flash Gordon, whose adventures begin trying to pinpoint origin of meteors that hit earth
AIA: JT (ScarJo played in What Goes Around video, reported romance) Ryan Kwanten (same first name), Liam Hemsworth (brother to Chris who is rumored to play in Avengers movie with Ryan)
Can't be the guy from Glee...the item said it was a YOUNG MOVIE Star. Neither fits the Glee guy. Oh vey for sure, you should learn how to read an item!
I have to admit. I think Ted is just a completely fabricator. The only blind gossip that has any truth behind it is probably Lainey Gossip's and Page Six. There's actual evidence to back it up. Ted is just making stuff up to get attention. Lame.
I agree, I don't really believe Ted's blinds anymore.
I really think it could be Sam Worthington as well.
In terms of Sam Worthington, how did he get so famous so fast? Terminator? Avatar?
Wow, I love the Ryan Reynolds guess, and he is the only one who seems to fit all the clues...
Ted notted Ryan Reynolds today, saying it was a very good guess.
Ted said that Ryan Reynolds was a good guess means that it is someone in his 30s. I still think it is Matthew Morrison with Salma Hayek being Priscilla Desert.
Isn't Salma Hayek married to that rich French businessman?
Since we're all no-ing Zachary Quinto, how about his co-star Chris Pine? He does fit the clues quite well, but I can't figure out the AIA connections.
I think this is Zac and Vanessa. He said the gf is multitalented. That fits Vanessa. She sings, dance and acts. I'm going to go though the b-backs and see if he ever said that Zac was a blind vice. If he hasn't than I think this one is him. Also said that Parrish has a large fanbase. Zac does to because of HSM 1,2, and 3. High School Musical was the biggest thing out until twilight came along.
Zachary Quino is gay. It's pretty obvious, but he's not really a movie star. I don't think every star in hollywood is homosexual. That seems to be all Ted can pull out of his hat.
Bradley Cooper (and Renee Zellwegger?)
Renee has had plenty of experience with "the boys" - meaning, boys who play with other boys...
"Dear Ted:
Can you clear up a little something on the Parrish Maguire BV? A lot of guesses included an underaged Twilight cast member (and his barely legal ex-gf). Do you have "underaged" BV's? Would you really hint at outing someone who is barely old enough to shave? Also, does Ryan Reynolds have his own BV or is he in the running for Parrish?
—J
Dear Valid Points:
Um, have you not read our MeMe Dallas and Tobey Yum-Yum Blind Vice? Sorry, but all Hollywood stars are fair game! As for Ry-Ry, he could be considered a very good candidate for Parrish Maguire (but it's not him)."
"Dear Ted:
Are Parrish and Priscilla still together?
—Miller
Dear Young Love:
Sometimes."
"Dear Ted:
Going on my own definition of a "movie star," I am guessing Chris Pine as Parrish Maguire. And speaking of young hunks, has Sean Faris ever been a B.V.? I love ya mucho and check your site many times daily! For the record, I like my B.B.s before lunch (eastern). Mwah!
—Curious
Dear Pining Away:
Fabola guess for Parrish, but you've missed the mark a bit, I'm afraid. Think a bit less rugged. Actually, make that a lot less rugged. As for Sean Faris, nope."
Chase
Eric (ASkars) from the Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood) book series, wears a lycra suit to an orgy in book two.
So Quanten was in Summerland with Zac Efron and Jesse McCartney, who's bee extremely ambiguous on his persuasion. He evidently dated Hayden Panettierre last month, though they've moved on now. Also a guy named Hunter Parrish who was just in "It's Complicated" guest starred with on Summerland and was in 17 Again with Zac Efron. Could he be the boyfriend of MP?
Christopher Hemsworth. He is Liam Hemsworth's brother a clue there. He is also in Thor movie and rumored to be with Natalie Portman this week.
I mean, could he been Parrish Maguire's boyfriend?
I think McCartney is a good guess. In a boyband, like Timberlake. Starred with Kwanten in Summerland. And... I don't know anything about Liam Hemsworth
And McCartney just said he wants to write songs for Adam Lambert
Is it Bradley Cooper?
What about Zachary Levi? In the middle of him trying to get press he breaks up with his "girlfriend" Caitlin Crosby?!?
OH MY GOD! So I figured I would google true blood and lycra just for giggles and this is what I FOUND!!! This is TOTALLY A. Skars
http://www.flickr.com/photos/arrow_of_apollo/3773395389/
"Movie Star." True Blood is TV.
I think this is Zac Efron and Priscilla is Vanessa Hudgens.
In this morning's Bitch-back, Ted eliminates Channing Tatum but titled his letter "Dance it Out." Zac sings and dances in High School Musical and is trying to branch out as a serious actor...
Also, Zac Efron has been good friends with Hunter Parrish for a long time.
A. SKars has been in Many Many movies, Wiki him!
OMG, I just found this picture of MAtthew MOrrisson kissing man!!! http://adeandabet.tumblr.com/post/287582784/matthew-morrison-from-glee-kissing-andy-coopers
I totally think that this could be zac and vanessa. I remember watching something on E! about him almost not getting the part in high school musical. And then I found this article...
http://hollywoodcrush.mtv.com/2009/07/16/hunter-parrish-almost-danced-away-with-zac-efrons-high-school-musical-role/
hmmm...
"Dear Ted:
Could Parrish Maguire be...Channing Tatum?
—Lindsay
Dear Dance It Out:
Totally close! But just a smidge off."
The only problem with Zefron is that this item makes it sound like Parrish and Priscilla just got together. Although... it could be that he's saying that they fixed Parrish up with Priscilla ASAP when his career was taking off. (BTW, if it's Efron, he's playing Johnny Quest in 2011, which some fans apparently made a stink about.
Re-read this and see if it seems... retro-active. Anyone?
"By the way, this pretty-open life that Parrish led prior to his meteoric rise to hot-stud fame suddenly explains why he almost didn't get his current fab job. Makes perfect sense.
But so, too, does how Parrish's studio employers decided to get Parrish hooked up with Priscilla ASAP."
Weird. And I don't just mean the Jonny Quest is an 11 year old cartoon character...
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/2009/04/jonny-quest-gets-zac-efron-but-loses-its-name-.html
What about Nick Zano and Hailey Duff? Ted's response about Channing Tatum was a close guess. Channing and Nick are pretty good friends.
sorry meant to say that Ted said that Channing as Parrish was a close guess.
Chace Crawford?
"Dance It Out" and the lycra reference could refer to being cast in Footloose... (and maybe "koo-koo" gives a double o hint)
Channing Tatum's Wiki says he worked as an exotic dancer under the name "Chan Crawford"
best I can do right now...
I now think it is Australian Chris Hemsworth. He was Father Kirk in Star Trek. He was also in Perfect Getaway. But, he was just picked-up as Thor in two movies. Today's BV says that Parrish was a repeater on a TV show. He was on Dancing with the Stars. He was attached to Isabel Lucas (possible Priscilla Desert) who was in the car with Shia during his big accident.
You know how I know this isn't Chris Hemsworth? Because I have no idea who he is.
When did he have a 'meteoric rise to hot-stud fame'?
Chris Hemsworth was on Aussie soap Home & Away for YEARS - definitely not a "repeater"; a stock-standard character.
"Dear Ted:
You're my fave, but guessing Parrish Maguire is killing me! Please just answer these two questions 1) Is Parrish American? 2) Has he ever been a regular on a television show? Thanks a bunch!
—R
Dear Gene Pool:
I'll answer one of those. So what's your definition of regular? He's definitely been a repeater on a TV show."
"Dear Ted:
Parrish Maguire's identity is driving me crazy, and I'm thinking maybe it could be Sebastian Stan? Hot, cold or absolutely frigid?
—Daylyn
Dear Try, Try Again:
So cold."
Topher Grace and Teresa Palmer. She's an aussie (Prisilla Dessert ref) and he was in Spider-Man 3 (lycra).
I agree that Topher G seems like he may be in the closet, but there are things here that dont seem to fit him, like "his suddenly huge fan base"....does not sound like him, unlesss I am missing something.
Ted notted Matthew Morrison on Twitter today: "Ted, is Parrish Maguire Matthew Morrison?"
"totally grt guess but #Parrish is more famous"
when i first read this i immediately thought nick cannon and mariah carey, but because Ted said Channing Tatum was close, im also going to through josh duhamel with fergie out there?
could this be justin long and drew barrymore??
to further my guess for justin long: same name as justin timberlake, costarred with allison lohman, evan rachel wood, lori loughlin and jesse mcartney which are the same as ryan kwanten. and (the biggest reason for thinking its long) the last name maguire sounds like mac-guy-ire and he is the mac guy from the mac commercials. also prisilla desert could be drew barrymore: multitalented (actress,director) and has dated many men in hollywood.
I am still not sure who in the world this could be, but I can tell you who I do not think it is and that is Alexander Skarsgard, just doesn't fit at all. What would his connection to Timberlake be? and even though he's been in some movies he is not most known for them. Most people didn't know who he was until True Blood and a lot of ppl still don't know who he is.
Taylor Lautner - I think Ted confirmed that he's a BV today, and I think his "denial" about this being a Twilight BV earlier was hazy. He said it wasn't the one he had in mind. He didn't say it wasn't a Twilight BV.
Taylor is a Disney actor, like Timberlake; plays a were-animal (shape shifter) like Ryan Kwanten; friends with Miley Cyrus/dated a Disney girl-singer/dated a costar (Taylor Swift from Valentine's Day) like Liam Hemsworth.
Eh?
Could be Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift (ted has said they were NOT BV's back in Nov and Dec '09, repectively).
However, Ted said that Parrish was definitely a repeater on a TV show. Taylor Lautner is most known for Twilight... don't think he's been on TV much, has he?
Ryan Reynolds was a close guess... maybe somoene more his age?
"Dear Ted:
Has Taylor Swift ever been a Blind Vice? And if not, do you think it's likely that she will be one in the near future?
—Naomi
Dear Country Dud:
I hope so; you're not a real celeb until you've starred in your very own B.V., which at this point Tay has yet to do. Soon, though."
Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b173092_bitch-back_where_should_sandra_go_from.html#ixzz0j7EEo9V8
-- Ted says she never STARRED in one... she could still be Priscilla Desert (supporting role in PArrish Maguire's BV.)
"Dear Ted:
Is the Miley-Liam relationship more or less fake than Tay-squared?
—JA
Dear Young Hollywood:
Less. Miley's too horny to be in a relaysh for show!"
"Dear Ted:
OK, so what's up with Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift going to lunch together with their publicist—and not to mention the day after she hangs with Cory! Please tell me they were just talking about an upcoming project!
—S
Dear Lunch Date:
Ugh, please tell me they're not dishing on an upcoming project. I don't know what would be worse—T.L. joining T.S. in a duet for the Breaking Dawn soundtrack or an über-awkward sequel to Valentine's Day. Seems the duo were just catching up—no need to worry about a T2 reconciliation. At all."
DING SING DING! I'll take this as a YES.
"Dear Ted:
Earlier this week, you emphasized that Taylor Swift hasn't "starred" in a Blind Vice. Has she played a supporting role in one? I'm not allowed to have animals here, so I don't have any rescue pets to pimp, but I've been reading you for years. Surely that still counts for something?
—StellsBells
Dear Best Q. O’ the Day:
And how. I think this is one reason why TS has gone danger-sniffing 'round the boys, as of late. Babe's tired of watching, not enjoying."
Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b173756_bitch-back_are_nicolersquos_kids_onto.html#ixzz0jaQwKp2R
What does Ted mean "she's tired of watching not enjoying"? Does that mean she's just getting into all the stuff that Ted would consider blind or she's been at it a while.
"Dear Ted:
C'mon Ted, Miley Cyrus and her costar, what's his name, they're as much in love as Taylor and Taylor were! It's publicity for the movie, period!
—Cazam
Dear Yes and No:
Miley and Liam want to reap their costar benefits for sure, but it's definitely not like Tay-Squared."
"Dear Ted:
Is Joe Jonas Parrish Maguire, or is the hottest JoBro just like he's portrayed?
—Laur
Dear Jonesing for Truth:
No, Joe isn't Parrish but good guess! And, really, you think he's the hottest JoBro? I beg to differ."
"Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift has been lying kind of low after lots of reports of her with various guys. It seems no one really knows for sure who she's with, and she hasn't allowed questions about her personal life for a long time. She tweeted about being back in LA to shop for "door knobs." Who in their right mind flies from Vegas to LA (probably on a private jet) just to shop for door knobs? I know her rumored last interests are in LA i.e. Mayer and Monteith, but no one has spotted her with either recently. I imagine she has the means to avoid any exposure of her with guys if she wants, so I think those sightings of her with Cory were staged by her or her people. And it seems odd to me how far out of the way she and her people went to avoid her being ever seen with Mayer after January's reports. It seems to me that there's a lot behind the sweet-girl facade. Is she ripe for a B.V.?
—F
Dear Swiftly Single:
You're right about a couple of things: Tay totally could fly under the radar if she wanted to keep her latest boy-toy a secret and her people definitely heard the major uproar when rumors of a fling with Mayer started. And while she may be super sweet, she's a teenage girl after all (and in H'wood, no less)—they've all got secrets, no? Count on it."
"Dear Ted:
Is Justin Bieber Parrish Maguire? Case closed, babes.
—K
Dear Detective Dud:
Keep looking for clues, K, cause Biebs isn't the boy-loving babe. P.M. has way more sex appeal than Justin could ever even dream of."
"Dear Ted:
What has Priscilla Desert been up to?
—Kelli
Dear Up the Sandbox:
Priscilla's working on her next project. If it's anything like her last one, it'll be huge."
"Dear Ted:
Is Parrish Maguire James Franco?
—Wallace
Dear Quite Francly:
Nope. Think more consistent in his Hollywood image—Franco tends to jump around a little too much."
Since Ted confirmed that Lautner was a BV a couple of weeks ago, I did an analysis similar to the one I did for Zac Efron/Jackie Bouffant for a different website. I'll reprint it here, since it pretty much proves that Lautner is Parrish:
On November 18th, 2009, Ted said that Taylor Lautner was not a BV (thus eliminating him from being Jackie Bouffant). On June 17th, Ted said that Lautner was a BV. That means that his BV had to have been introduced during this time period. Let's have a look at the BVs introduced between last November 18th and two weeks ago, in chronological order, and see what fits Lautner, eliminating the obvious female ones:
Quidget Barks-A-Little and Harry Fun-Tanked: Both are in steady, long-term relationships, and both have kids with their partners. Not Lautner.
Nelly Fang: Plays a vampire, not a werewolf. Not Lautner.
Parrish Maguire: This is the BV we're discussing.
Chester Shorts-Off: Married to Secretia Ohio. Not Lautner.
Elijah Schwad: Married to Henrietta Hard-Ball. Not Lautner.
Marky Sweet-Puss: Married to Cruella St. Shackles. Not Lautner.
Barrington Bang-Me: Nevis Divine's boyfriend. Nevis is almost certainly Robert Pattinson, and no matter how much the Twi-tards would love it, Barrington is almost certainly not Lautner. Not eliminated, but chances are very remote.
Moisty Mohr: Moisty is unattractive, lives in Las Vegas, and is a mainstream TV star. Not Lautner.
Buck Me-Good: The description doesn't fit at all. Not Lautner.
Chet Chick-Muncher: An older man with "ridiculous antics going on for decades". Not Lautner.
Dougie Dry-Hump: Married. Not Lautner.
Buddy Rib-Toast: Has a long-term alcohol problem and is known for going through actresses quickly. Too old to be Lautner.
Thus, we're down to Parrish Maguire and Barrington Bang-Me, and no one believes that Lautner is Barrington. He's got to be Parrish.
"Dear Ted:
I've decided to look outside the box with a guess for Parrish McGuire. Most posters seem to think it's a certain Twilighter, but I disagree. My vote goes for Michael Cera—totally cute in a nonthreatening way. Kinda effeminate, dimples and has been a rising star in Hollywood for some time.
—Hezen
Dear Michael McGuire?
Kudos for being original with your guess, babe, but Michael ain't Parrish. P. McG loves his blockbuster flicks, where as Michael will play indie his entire awkward life, I'm afraid."
"Dear Ted:
I still think Moisty Mohr is Chris Matthews, and I've sent a couple of emails to that effect and have seen no reply, which only escalates my suspicions. You promised to out him if someone guessed correctly! If I am wrong, however, I have a different question: Will Priscilla Desert ever star in her own Blind Vice, or is she as squeaky clean as she appears?
—S
Dear Double Duty:
Wrongo, so to answer you're other Q: It's only a matter of time until Prissy does, trust."
"Dear Ted:
How's the relation between Priscilla Desert and Tobey Yum-Yum and his family? Better than before or still bitter?
—Celina
Dear Family Matters:
Think you're mixing up your Vices, C. Pris and Tobey don't cross paths too much, at least not in the sexy, Vicey ways. As for Tobe's fam, they couldn't care less about Priscilla and her borderline bad ways."
THANKS FOR THE ANALYSIS SPIE!
"Dear Ted:
Besides Parrish McGuire, has Priscilla Dessert dated any other BV?
Dear Background Check:
Dated might be a bit of a stretch but she knows her way around a dude with a Vice, trust."
And that would be a reference to Taylor Swift "dating" John Mayer, who is definitely a BV, most likely Super Duper Cooper.
I think we could almost put this one into Revealed.
"Dear Ted:
You have recently said that country stars have some of the dirtiest secrets. Please tell me country cutie Taylor Swift is not one of them? Does she have a Blind Vice? I wouldn't think so, but if your column teaches us anything, it's that appearances aren't always what they seem.
—MS
Dear Please:
Taylor is the queen of "appearances aren't always what they seem." Which, coincidentally, sounds like lyrics from one of her sweet teen anthems. Still, she's got nothing compared to the usual Hollywood suspects and we totally heart Tay."
"Dear Ted:
Is Taylena 2.0 ever going to happen? I was looking at old pics of Selena and Taylor Lautner and they were too perfect for each other to not come back for round two. They would be adorable together!
—Joey
Dear Ew:
At least there was more passion there than with Taylor Swift."
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b194002_taylors_swift_lautner_
reuniting_in.html
ok, priscilla has no girlfriends, as per today's bb. definitely not t swift.
"Dear Ted:
My puppy is sick so I need a clue to lift my spirits. Is it the first time that Priscilla Desert is kind of a beard to one of her boyfriends? And is she friends with Darla Jones?
—Celina
Dear All Prisced Out:
Ms. Desert only has one big-bearding go-round under her belt, and it wasn't that impressive, mind you. Guess it's a good thing it's over, no? As for Priscilla and Darla being pals, no. Come to think of it, doesn't seem like P.D. has too many chick friends at all."
"Dear Ted:
I'm a big fan of yours and of the A.T., but I'm a little confused about something. You've called Robsten the "real deal." You've also said Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were laid-back and casual about their relationship. It's obvious to me that they're into each other, but I want you (to the best of your abilities) to clear this up for your loyal and loving readers. Are they in a monogamous relationship, or are they just hooking up when it's convenient? Please post this question. People wanna know!
—Bubbly
Dear Too Much Champagne:
Are you kidding? Don't think road tripping to New Orleans or flying to Canada is a hookup out of convenience. Or remember when Stewart extended her trip in London after the BAFTAs and hung around New York while Rob did press for Remember Me? Don't see anything convenient about that relationship. Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift they are not."
Well, Ted pretty much confirmed TSwift as Priscilla in his new Pris BV. Then again, with Parrish confirmed as Lautner, Pris couldn't have been anyone other than TSwift.
"Dear Ted:
Would you ever do a B.V. for a celebrity who was under 18, especially if their Vice was of a sexual nature? Or do they need to be legal to earn a moniker? Not a perv—just trying to figure out the timeline for a particular B.V.
—X
Dear Illegal Tender:
That's especially why I would have to Vice it. Nothing gets lawyers riled up like underage celebs doing the dirty. "
"Dear Ted:
Can you shed a little light on the new Taylor Swift song that is supposedly about her relationship with Taylor Lautner? I thought that was a faux-mance. What's the scoop?
—Kitty Carryall
Dear Sorry...for What?:
Actually, Kitty, you've got me. Team Awful was totally confused by this song and her supposed apology to (what we agree sounds like) T.Lautner."
"Dear Ted:
When Priscilla Desert was Parrish Maguire's beard, did she know that is what she was or was she really in love with him?
—Evie
TWITTER: Follow @theawfultruth
Dear Desert Mirage:
Oh, she knew what was up. She's not a dumb girl, per se, and Par is anything but subtle. You should know that by now, Ev! I'm sure he totally hearted chatting with Ms. D about all the boys they were fooling around with."
"Dear Ted:
I have a few guesses on Blind Vices. I am thinking that Priscilla and Parrish are Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas. Also thinking that Stud Bucket and Roxy are
the Smiths...Will and Jada to be exact. Still thinking Nicholas Cage is Toothy Tile. I am way tired. Had a rough day with my 15 year old mutt baby who is not
doing so hot. Thought I would make a few guesses before I sign off for the night! Thanks for your time and attention.
—LCM
Dear Kinda Hot, Kinda Not:
Sorry about your pup, babe! Hope things get better soon. As for your guesses, one is very good, the rest are completely wrong. Like way wrong—but creative, I
guess. Margo and Charlie send wet kisses to your sweetie."
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