Friday, January 15, 2010

Blind Vice: Reckless Teenthrob Dares to be Outted!

New from Ted today... Crescent Kumquat returns.

Blind Vice: Reckless Teenthrob Dares to be Outted!

We're clearly not in the match-making business, but if we were, these two closeted stars could totally be a good thing together: Remember Crescent Kumquat and Topher-Hairy Tuchas? Both equally gorgeous studs who have equally big...secrets?
If it weren't for their large-ish age gap, we would totally predict these two guys to be swapping gorgeous hair secrets and then some behind closed doors.
Why, you ask? Because Crescent has been pulling a card straight from Hairy Tuchas's cruising-for-sex ways by using...
Gossip Girl (Chase Crawford) TV Poster Print - 24" X 36"...Craigslist to shack up with dudes! No way!
Remember, we've seen the emergence of Crescent's flaming personality over the last year or so. First with a few boy-on-boy cuddles, then with some innocent necking, and now, full-on getting it on with guys. And he's not exactly being stealth about it, either.
What is it with dudes like Kumquat and Topher who have easily recognizable faces, yet who use Craigslist to get their gay sex on? Hello, that is so asking to get caught. Come on, this is beyond, say, Toothy Tile doing it in a car in a West Hollywood parking lot, people. This is practically an engraved invitation to be outted, for heaven's sake!
Maybe, ultimately, that's what these guys want? To be finally known as who they are, but do they want someone else to do the dirty work for 'em? Remember, Toothy just loves to get it on in super public places with Grey Goose, but even they have toned it down, as of late.
Seriously, I'd put my money on Toothy coming out before Crescent. C.K. and Topher really have to rely on their large female fan bases to keep their careers going. If the girls go, so do the jobs. Particularly Crescent's. His face is totally plastered all over the Teen Beat girlie-sphere. If that demo only knew the truth!
And it ain't: Jackson Rathbone, Paul Wesley, Justin Beiber

This is the third Crescent Kumquat blind vice. Here are the links to the other three CK BVs - Jan 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated, May 2009, and April 2010.  and April 27, 2010. Also May 14, 2010.  We believe he is Chace Crawford.

(Also, use the link below to read the other Topher Hairy-Tuchus blind vices.)


Missy said...

Chace Crawford and Bradley Cooper

Unknown said...

Jesse McCartney...lawyers are trying to keep provocative pics of him a thon from coming out

duffgrl said...

Not positive on CQ yet but...for THT I like the John Stamos guess. He seems to fit and hasn't been ruled out yet. I liked Bradley Cooper but apparently he was a BV before THT was written about.

Missy said...

"I liked Bradley Cooper but apparently he was a BV before THT was written about."

If you read the original blind it says that THT was just a supporting player. He wasn't given a moniker.

Unknown said...

i feel like ted has said that bradley's bv dates back to his alias days though.

Brittany said...

I agree with Missy. Ted said a THT was that he was a supporting player. Isn't Bradley believed to be "New Guy" in the Cameron Diaz BV. I don't think its safe to rule out Bradley for THT just yet. Especially since no one is exactly sure of his BV yet.

Brittany said...

Megan you're right Ted did state something like that:

"Dear Something Borrowed, Something New:
A Tiger doesn't change its stripes, now does it? The Vice goes back to his Alias days, sure."

But if you read the 2nd THT BV its about him in his earlier years. The whole BV is about a situation that occurred years before. And if this is Bradley, like I believe, that was talking about his previous marriage to Jennifer E.

I honestly think what Ted said was just him being cryptic as usual.

Unknown said...

It seemed like Ted was saying Bradley was up to his dirty antics back in his Alias days, not necessarily that Ted had already WRITTEN his BV back then.

duffgrl said...

Missy: I DID read the original blind...right THT has been a bit player in another BV...the point is that there has been a BV written already about BC-and he is the subject of it w/ a moniker-NOT supporting player. This rules him out according to Ted.

Anonymous said...

Could be Gerard Butler. Only because there was a previous post that mentioned '300 count sheets'.

However - there have been a few intentional references to cards and gambling. Does that ring a bell with anyone?

Missy said...

Ted called THT a gambling man which leads to The Hangover.

blurry vice said...

I'd rather keep the THT discussion that that thread and keep this one Crescent Kumquat.

But... just to clarify - this is the first paragraph of the original THT BV.

"Get ready for a gay, anonymous-sex hookup gone wrong—hunky movie-star style! Now, our latest Blind Vice entrant, Topher Hairy-Tuchus, has made an appearance before in the Awful Truth, but only as a supporting player—this totally handsome stud was never christened with his own moniker. Until now, anyway! And since Toph's made it into our sexyass annals, seems like he's dutifully checking off every other last step required for getting (and staying) on the Vice A-list. Lauded movies, check. Hot bod, check. Famous female companions, check. Totally closeted homo, check and then some!"

So he was a supporting player who was NOT given a nickname. Please note that the supporting player in the suspected Cameron Diaz/Bradley Cooper BV WAS given a nickname.

I also would like to point out how AGAIN Ted has changed the spelling of a nickname. USed to be "tuchus" now he spells "tuchas". He has done this before with "Gray Goose" changing to "Grey Goose" and of course the entire name changing of "Wiggly Jiggle Poof" and "Jiggly Wiggle Poof" who he links back to and everything... changing the name completely in the second BV. Why can't TEd just keep the names and the spelling straight?!

OK that was my rant.

Lisa said...

Sorry- I totally believe Ted makes up blinds now.

The Spie said...

imeldapinkerton: Ted has used the phrase "300-count sheets" numerous times over the years. It has nothing to do with Gerard Butler or anyone else who was in 300. For instance, Ted used "300-count sheets" in the Gloria Good-Hag BV, which appeared a year and a half before 300 came out.

So we can ignore that phrase as any sort of clue.

EmmyC said...

Yeah I believe it's Chace Crawford as CC and Bradley Cooper as THT. Did anyone see that Taryn tweeted that Chace showed up to a party with Matthew Morrison... Whoa! Maybe everyone was wrong about the other BV that Cooper was supporting in. The fact that he supported a long time ago but is now a leading BV is also the same for Cooper who's now red hot at an older age. And Chace is all over teen mags.

Angela Pickett said...

Didn't Lainey post something about a Twilight cast memeber who posted an ad on Craig's list? I remember he wanted an Asian person. Could her smut and Ted's smut align?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Crescent Kumquat taller than Kristen Bell?

Dear Yes:
But who isn't?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I heard that Chace Crawford and Matthew Morrison went to some awards show afterparty together. What do you make of that?

Dear TV Lover:
Matthew's just making the rounds in this Bitch-Back today, huh? Apparently they're friends. They were spotted a few times together over the weekend. Think all of these Glee kids are just milking their newfound fame? I think it's more than that, and obviously, so do you."

angie said...

Wow! Blind Vice thanks for completely making it crystal clear who THT is..Bradley Cooper. There's no doubt in my mind, and whoever else who doesn't see that needs to read between the lines. I have never been more sure in my life. BTW whoever that said that Ted makes this up, please read the new Brangelina book that's out. The author goes in depth about all the closeted actors in hollywood. I believe he said that 75 percent of hollywood actors are gay. That's two different sources telling you the same thing. Someone is lying here and i have a feeling it's not the columnists.

Unknown said...

has to be bradley cooper!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's happening with Penn Badgley and Blake Lively? Blake was seen in Florida with Chace Crawford and Chace's manager at the balcony...Are Penn and Blake over?

Dear G.G. Fan:
Yawn. But if you're alluding to a Chace-Blake hookup, I can assure you that ain't happening."

Anonymous said...

There is only problem with Crescent Kumquat being Chace - his face isn't plastered all over Teen Beat (believe me, I've looked). Did Ted make a mistake in making that statement OR is it someone else?

blurry vice said...

countess - whether ot not Chace's face os currently featured on Teen BEat is not the issue. Chace is a star on Gossip Girl which is a show watched by teen girls. Yes in that case his face is featured in teen girl magazines bc he has teen girl fans. Do not take every clue literally. Besides, the original Cresscent Kumquat BV was writeen some time ago... maybe if you looked at THAT current issue of Teen BEat. LOL.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I rescued two stray kittens around October last year: two black cats, Salem and Sabrina! So you think you could hook me up with some info? Have we ever seen Toothy's baby? And what happened to Crescent Kumquat? And is Nevis Devine on regular television? So may questions so just answer what you can. I'll send pics of the kitties to prove it. I love you, you handsome stud!

Dear Question Overload:
C.K. has been flying under the radar lately. He's been more focused on nailing his acting roles than nailing D.L. dudes. As for Nevis—I'm sure you've seen him on your TV before. Often."

blurry vice said...

Gabby said...

hmmm blurry vice...Ted says in that article that Chace is "taking advice" from Gerard and Brad. I'm pretty sure THT isn't BP, but maybe this is more proof he is Gerard?

Cristina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.