Saturday, January 23, 2010

Vintage BV - Slurpa Pop-Off

Digging up more of Ted's old Blind Vices. Slurpa Pop-Off has been featured in a few blind items on our blog in the past. She is suspected and hinted to be Paris Hilton. Remember the dog abuse? Check our links on the right side of the screen for a few SPO BVs from 2007-2008. Here, we dug up two vintage SPO BVs from 2006. Have fun!


July 2, 2006 - One Girlie Galore Blind Vice

Okay, all you hell-raising heathens, tongue-dripping turnabout is more than fair play. Last week, we covered the taboo private-parts doings on the dude side, this time round, we're tackling what the gals are up to, naughty-time-wise. Or one very, very famous sweetie-poop, that is.
Slurpa Pop-Off is quite beautiful--and big-time tush-shakin', too. She also has a penchant for bedding every stud in the Western Hemisphere on whom she lays her pretty little beady eyes--always successfully, I should inform you goss-babes.
But here's the kicker in the squishy parts: S.P.O. is, ironically enough, only so-so interested, as far as the guys go. It's just for press.
In other words, what makes Ms. Pop-Off see stars and have the kind of orgasms Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan and Helen Gurley Brown all made famous are other girls--specifically honeys who, as Madonna likes to say, prefer to dine in.
Get me, babycakes? I'm certain you do if you've been the least bit of a Sex and the City student. And get this: In one of those impossibly trendy little clubs at which Ms. P.O. likes to boogie down, Slurpa hit the ladies' room, as she is wont to do. But not to relieve herself!
Nope. Instead, in one of those ridiculously peekable stalls, S.P.O. got a blow on, while another gal in the same toilet compartment blew Slurpa.
How do I know this? Slurpa, totally sloshed, per usual, actually forgot to close the stall door. And just as Ms. Pop-Off was screaming to the endorphin-bestowing goddess inside herself, someone else walked in the damn bathroom.
Slurpa, total slut pro she be, just kept right on--at high volume, too. Oh, my. Think even I'm getting a little excited.

it's not: Kim Stewart, Rose McGowan, Cameron Diaz


October 26, 2006 - One Masterfully Manipulative Blind Vice

Slurpa Pop-Off, you're such the hustlin' hussy! I dare say, I think this twisted gal gets off on stealing other people's men and watching them suffer. Sick, ain't it? (Yet so Hollywood—yech!) Get a load of Slurpa's latest little pork-and-run plans:
Slurpa recently had an altercation, of sorts, with a gal whose former guy Slurpa is currently suckin' face with all over town. Then, this past weekend, S.P.O. flew her Hell-Ay coop for a little fun 'n' sun away from home in another city known for its, uh, devilish diversions.
And come Monday, after Slurp's supposedly wild weekend, pics were everywhere of her getting down and dirty with not one, but two questionably doable dudes. Looks like the media fell for her photo-op spit-swap sessions hook, line and deadline-prone sinker.
'Cause it turns out Pop-Off's canoodling for the cameras was planned and pretend. Why's that? Well, to distract from the drama surrounding her and her reported latest amigo, evidently. Are ya with me? Doesn't matter, we're almost to the end here.
A bathroom birdie in said city of delightful diversion overheard Slurpa yakking on her phone that she'd temporarily kicked her b-f to the curb 'cause he was too much trouble, but she might just take him back when he rekindles things with his former flame.
Girlfriend, you are cold. In more ways than one, I hear...

And It Ain't: Kimora Lee Simmons, Nicole Richie, Eva Longoria

Slurpa Pop-Off = Paris Hilton.

Here is the link to the January 2008 Slurpa Pop-Off BV.  Check out or labels for more Paris Hilton related BVs.


blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So Paris Hilton is back in the spotlight, can I get a hint as to what her Blind Vice is?

Dear Socialite:
It's predictable, pretty '80s, actually."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I know this is probably old news, but I can't help wondering if the feud between Paris and Nicole had something to do with one (or both) of their Vices. I can't buy into the "sex tape screening" theory as the only reason these besties would split. Anything else you can share? Clearly I was out of the loop back in the day.

Dear Frenemies 4 Eva:
Let's just say their Vices weren't helping the bigger problems at hand."