Saturday, October 1, 2011

Blind Vice! Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

New from Ted yesterday Sept 30 -

Blind Vice!  Boy Crazy Parrish Can't Keep a Beard!

Uh oh, Parrish Maguire is in hot water.
And we're not talking about a warm Jacuzzi—ya know, the place Parr likes to hook up with older, more experienced men while other partygoers watch (how devilishly naughty is that?).

No, we're talking trouble.

Parrish has a beard problem. As in, he needs one, pronto.
See, Parrish can't seem to find a H'wood chica willing to put up with him long enough to establish some straight cred.
Which means people are starting to talk. And not just in T-town (where Parr's pals have been whispering about his dude-on-dude sextivities since forever)—we're talking popcorn munchin', movie-ticket buying audiences, too.
And Parrish is freaked out, no matter how much PR his peeps put out to cover his homolicious tracks.
So why can't Parrish land a babe willing to stick by his side?
Well, he's a monster. He's got a horrible diva ‘tude that rivals the worst of the worst T-town be-yotches. And word is spreading through the B.A.H. (that'd be the Beard Association of Hollywood) not to link up with him—which is why you'll see him out and about with a bevy of ladies but nothing ever sticks.
Funnily enough, Parrish used to be a real sweetie (back when we had a long-term cutie boyfriend attached at the hip). But that's what happens when you let your head get out of control—and we ain't talking about the one on his shoulders.
And It Ain't: Chris Hemsworth, Justin Timberlake, Joe Manganiello

Please use the link below to read our other posts on the previous Parrish Maguire BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Taylor Lautner

33 comments:

blurry vice said...

OK so this is still Taylor Lautner. What happened with his latest beard Lily Collins? I haven't really been following them but know that they were "together". Poor Taylor that no one wants to be his new beard! Someone will come along eventually.

stairslave said...

Apparently he broke up with her but they remain friends. This does sound like him. He should just "come out" already. Haven't people stopped minding these things?

Andrew said...

@Stairslave- When your main fan base is made up of 14 year old girls who hang posters of you on their wall, it probably isnt a good idea to announce you like having sex with men....

Sara said...

This blind and the and it aints convince me even more this it Taylor Lautner - Chris Hemsworth- starting to establish himself as a leading man as is recognised for his physique (like Taylor), Justin Timberlake - some would argue he was a Teen Heart Throb back in his NSync days and I'd say he still is a teen staple (Taylors got the teen heart throb role ATM) and Joe Manganiello plays a Werewolf in true blood, Taylors equivalent out of Twilight.

What a shame he doesn't feel he can be truthful about his sexuality, however someone needs to be stopping the Diva behaviour, never going to become to leading man of Boone wants to work with him due to his attitude!

Sara said...

Ooh also isn't Taylor being called "Tom Cruise 2.0" which would be a clue to the moniker referring to Jerry Maguire? (sorry if this has already been mentioned, I've only just discovered this fantastic blog! And I'm slowly becoming addicted to it, I get to find out all the Hollywood gossip for over in the UK!)

Meggie said...

Yes him and lily just broke up after the movie came out... I feel like Ted isn't even trying to hide it anymore. Definitely TLaut

Rita said...

Well Saturday's Truth Lies & Ted surely proves once again that Ted is talking about Taylor.

Parrish Maguire's blind is getting as as obvious as Morgan Mayhem's with all the clear hints, and heck, indications.

blurry vice said...

And remember that one of our readers proved by timeline of when TEd said TayL was and was not a BV, that this is him. Whatever happened to that reader of ours who used to prove everyone by timeline? Since he left I have had a couple of celebs fall into a pretty clear time range that needed to be timeline proven.. but he is no longer with us! What was his name? I am blanking. REgardless, we miss him and are grateful for all the work he put into the BVs!!

blurry vice said...

OH I remember his name now "The Spie"!!! Spie, where are you? If you still lurk, come back to us! :)

Cathy said...

Just to re-iterate what Rita said about the TL&T video, the point that sealed it for me was when he said that he hopes Taylor doesn't go the Jake Gyllenhaal route when it comes to his relationships with girls.

Rita said...

Blurry - yes, The Spie! He used to do all this research that had proven some, like Alex Skarsgard, were in fact specific blind-item vicers.

He (I'm fairly certain he's a HE, for last time he posted, was regarding that Lainey blind on Justin Bieber losing his virginity, hmmm... through the 'Hershey Way' as The Spie eloquently put it) and Tara used to debate often.

Well your Blog sisters has expanded and more are signing in to post their guesses. Would be nice if some of the 'oldies' re-integrated the guessing game.

I have been obsessing over David Boreanaz's blind. Started watching Bones, and Ted had answered one of my questions regarding that made me re-think his moniker. Am not convinced about the guess.

That being said, Would you Sisters like to start a new post on those celebs who had fallen in clear timelines? We can all participate in the research and the fit of the proper vice. As well as debate the top guesses at the time.

Since Ted has been too concentrated on repeat vicers, maybe as a community we can start a post and try and definitely sort a few offenders out!

Your thoughts?

Rita said...

Cathy - Did you see the BIG hint on the semi-public hand holding, i.e. First ever Toothy Tile blind referral??

Thank God for the Sisters and their 'bookkeeping' of all things blind vices. They make connecting the dots easier!

Cathy said...

Rita - no, I must have missed that! But I did notice that Ted said Taylor parties the way he did at that age - thinking that refers to the parties that he's written about Parrish attending!

Rita said...

Will try and look it up again... Maybe I'm mixing posts... Old age, and all!

pikespeak said...

Obviously TL.

Ted has been very open with his info lately.

I get the feeling I know what he's talking about regarding most of what he says...

Emily Alder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Me and my orange tabby, Luna, are wondering what the specifications are to be a H'wood beard. Can anyone join the club or is it exclusive? Sounds like a

pretty good gig if you ask me. Love you!
—Sami

Dear Looking Grizzly:
Tres exclusive, doll. And while it's sometimes glamorous (and good money), it depends on who you're linked up with. Sometimes the bearding gig can just plain

suck—like for all those chicas who've been used and abused at Parrish Maguire's side.

Dear Ted:
When we first met Parrish Maguire, I thought he was a babe in the woods, playing gay with the big boys as he gained experience and self-awareness in that

crazy town. But last week's goss made me think perhaps he's a few years older and more established than that. Any hints what age group this kid/guy is in?
—EA

Dear Getting Warmer:
All I'll say is he's very established for his age. "

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/taylor_lautner_on_gay_pals_i_
think_they/268646

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/what_taylor_lautner_gay_rumors_
dustin/270628

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
With the recent abysmal failure of Abduction, do you think that producers will now think twice before hiring Taylor Lautner as the star of a new movie? I

mean, we haven't heard anything in ages about what were supposed to be his two next films, Max Steel and Stretch Armstrong. So, is he dunzo?
—Nicolas


Dear Six-Pack Figures:
It'll take more than one box-office bomb to end Taylor's career. He's had enough big-screen success in the Twilight flicks and Valentine's Day (both of which it could be argued was despite T.L.) that he'll get a second chance. Plus Taylor is very persistent. Almost too persistent, if you ask me."

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/taylor_lautner_signs_on_indie
/273021

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/hows_taylor_lautner_feel_on_
landing/273330

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I saw a gossip article about Taylor Lautner and Dianna Agron having dinner together. Was it for business or pleasure? They sure are two gorgeous persons—can

you imagine what their babies would look like with those genes? Of course, I'd rather be the momma as Taylor is nice eye candy! Any romance brewing?
—Kaitlyn

Dear Mix and Match:
Why can't it be for both, babe? And while these two would make fairly decent eye candy together, I'm sure you know that nothing hot and heavy will transpire

between these two. Dianna is hardly a Taylor Swift redux.

Dear Ted:
What are you saying, Dianna Agron is a beard?
—D

Dear Beard Today, Gone Tomorrow:
Hardly, although the gal's choice in men is very questionable. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
If Nevis Divine ever met Seymour Plow-Me More, Parrish Maguire or Toothy Tile, how likely would he be to jump in bed with each of them on a scale of one to

five (one being "Ewwww Hell no!" and five being "Mmmm yummy yummy!")?
—I

Dear It's a Guessing Game:
Seymour? Zero. Parrish? Zero. Toothy? Now that would be a hot hookup. Or to quote you: Mmmmlicious!"

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
I obsessed with the idea of Taylor Swift and Tim Tebow! Do you think they could date?
—KC

Dear Team Taybow:
I could see it happening, actually. And while Tay seems to be the perfect gal for Mr. Tebow, I don't think the same goes vice versa. See, Taylor tends to

like her dudes with a little more of a bad-boy side, and T.T. certainly doesn't have that."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
How is Parrish Maguire doing? Still having a beard problem? Also, has Nevis Divine stayed away from drugs to deal with things lately? How is his relationship

with Barrington Bang-Me now? Please answer! I'm having Blind Vice withdrawal!
—MDuffel

Dear Clean Shaven:
Worse than ever, I'm afraid, doll. Parr is going to have a tough year...at least, as far as my predictions go. Nev on the other hand is doing much better
these days. Things have kinda cooled between him and Barr (don't worry, they're still mucho into each other), but he's put off the rehab route. For now."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I think there are 4 types of closet actors in Hollywood: The one who will come out when he feels like it, the one who comes out when his career is

over/established, the one who will take it to his grave and the one who will get outed by others. Could you add 4 B.V. names to those categories for me?
—Bastiaan

Dear Fab Fouresome:
Respectively: Toothy Tile (hopefully...he's wanted to in the past but was always talked out of it). Crotch Uh-Lastic. Topher Hairy-Tuchus. And Parrish

Maguire. Has your Vicey thirst been quenched, B?

Dear Ted:
I was reading some old BV's and came across Parrish Maguire and the all male parties, and I was wondering if he's experimented with drugs or is sex his only

vice?
—Nosy

Dear Little of This, Little of That:
So far Parr's stuck with the strictly raunchy stuff and left the powder for his B.V. peers, but with the crowd he's known to hang with it's not a matter of

if he'll switch over to the more dubious stuff, it's when."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I think there are 4 types of closet actors in Hollywood: The one who will come out when he feels like it, the one who comes out when his career is

over/established, the one who will take it to his grave and the one who will get outed by others. Could you add 4 B.V. names to those categories for me?
—Bastiaan

Dear Fab Fouresome:
Respectively: Toothy Tile (hopefully...he's wanted to in the past but was always talked out of it). Crotch Uh-Lastic. Topher Hairy-Tuchus. And Parrish

Maguire. Has your Vicey thirst been quenched, B?

Dear Ted:
I was reading some old BV's and came across Parrish Maguire and the all male parties, and I was wondering if he's experimented with drugs or is sex his only

vice?
—Nosy

Dear Little of This, Little of That:
So far Parr's stuck with the strictly raunchy stuff and left the powder for his B.V. peers, but with the crowd he's known to hang with it's not a matter of

if he'll switch over to the more dubious stuff, it's when."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
We are the Parrish Maguire Liberation Front and we ask…no, wait…we demand more info about this poor young man who is forced by Hollywood executives to live a

lie! If you don't comply with our demands, we will immediately ask our members to start bombarding you with questions about the underrated William Fichtner.

Long live Parrish!
—PMLF

Dear Negotiating With Vice-orists:
Well, I have been missing mention of the talented and hot William Fichtner…but I'm feeling generous today so I'll comply with your demands. First of all,

it's hardly the Hollywood execs forcing Parr to live hetero-boringly. He's all for the beard game. Where they disagree is with how loose Mr. Maguire can be

with his personal life (and loins) when he thinks no one is watching."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
What is Taylor Lautner's obsession with Cirque du Soleil? He was spotted at a show again on Sunday. Is he researching for a movie or hooking up with one of

the performers—or is it just the typical night out for an underage star?
—Tammy

Dear Flipped Out:
Well don't you know what all that Cirque biz is about? Tons of half-naked people running around, doing flips and whatnot. With an emphasis on the half-

nakedness. And when you put it like that, why wouldn't a teenage boy be into it?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What has Parrish Maguire been up to? Will he get a beard before his next movie release? All of his beards have not exactly gone well for him, huh? Any chance of him
coming out?
—Megan

Dear Not Going to Happen:
Coming out? Not anytime soon, babe. I would bank on a new beard in the mix—Parrish's people will make sure of it.

Dear Ted:
I saw the MTV Movie Awards and Taylor Lautner was there—minus his "girlfriend" Sara Hicks. Other stars brought their spouses and significant others to the event. The L.A. Clippers are out of the NBA playoffs; and Sara announced on her Twitter page she was having a girls' night pool party the same night as the awards. There's a
pattern forming that Taylor is not with Sara on evenings where there are celebrity events and she's not tied up. Are Taylor and Sara done?
—I Smell a Rat

Dear Ratting It Out:
Hmmm…you want the sexy Mr. Lautner all to yourself? But really, it's not like Tay and Sara were together for years and then suddenly called it quits. They have always said they are longtime friends and they went to high school together back in the day. I'm not surprised Tay-Tay didn't bring his on-again, off-again gal to the MTV
Movie Awards. Considering Tay's affinity for Cirque de Soleil, we'd be more likely to see the dude with a sexy acrobat chick by his side!

Dear Ted:
I've gotta know! Is Parrish Maguire Kellan Lutz? Please say it ain't so! I've already lost my unrealistic chances with Real-Life Ken [Matt Bomer]...Do I need to be
consoled again?
—R

Dear Consolation Prize:
You're in luck, R.Parrish is not the oh-so-sexy Mr. Lutz. But, the two do share something close in common."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
A group of hackers claim that they managed to get hold of Taylor Lautner's email inbox. I was wondering what you expected them to find in there. Booking reservations

for Cirque du Soleil? Anything juicier? Thanks!
—Jane

Dear Hack Attack:
As in, Vice business, babe? Hmm, that might be more of a text-message ordeal. But I'm sure he has some dirty laundry hidden away in his inbox that he wouldn't exactly love aired out to the world."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
So I just found out who Parrish Maguire is, and I must say I am heartbroken. Too bad Par-Par doesn't get with ladies, unless it's for bearding purposes. It may make me feel slightly better if you can tell me if Parrish is at least, uh, well-endowed? And is he still frequenting those naughty secret parties he was into a couple of
years ago?
—Oh-So-Curious

Dear Pity Party for Par-Par:
Sorry to burst your heterosexual bubble, babe! But Parrish is still just as fab. He's not really into the secret party scene anymore since he's found another source of
entertainment. And as for dude's well-endowment? Sorry to say, but I don't have any firsthand knowledge. Lemme make a few calls and get back to you."

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
I know who Parrish Maguire is. It's totally Josh Hutcherson, isn't it?! There are always rumors that he's dating one girl or another but you never see him out with any

of them! Well, at least not since Vanessa Hudgens. Please tell me I'm right.
—Taylor

Dear Horny for Hutch:
Hardly! Sure, The Hunger Games hunk might keep his private life just that (private!) but it's not because of any Vicey secrets he keeps. Though, on second thought,

that's hardly the worst guess. Parr and Mr. Hutcherson have a lot in common—career wise."

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