Saturday, October 22, 2011

Blind Vice! Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

New from Ted Friday Oct 21 -

Blind Vice!  Barbie Snorts Her Way to Cancellation!

I live for a gal who's survived in the movies—shown she has what it takes to star in many of them, some even successful—and then totally reinvents herself afterwards.
That's right, for a second career as a TV star! Of course, where else is there for movie chicks who age, but, that's beside the point.

Which is that Barbie Sinatra started reinventing herself long before she dipped into TV fare by...
Totally changing her appearance. We mean totally.
Whereas many folks guessed about Barbie's nips here and tucks there, we're here to tell you it was all due to nose-candy, baby!
That's right, Barbie, who got famous with an entirely different figure than the one she possesses now, decided she wanted what the rest of the chicas had in Hollywood, i.e., lots more acting opportunities. And Barbie's more natural appearance she got famous with just wasn't cutting it enough.
The drugged-out Pygmalion stuff worked pretty well for awhile, too.
But, just like all addictions, Barbie's coke habit eventually got the better of her and that primo TV gig she landed as a result of her new-found frame is about to be cancelled—not in the least because Barbie's coke-fuelled scenes of over-acting. I mean, Barb gives new meaning to the term scenery-chewing, as she also eats her costars alive, too, hysterical stuff!
Only it's not a comedy she's starring in, dearies!
And It Ain't: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange

Eliminated as of 2/25/12: Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Jessica Lange, Mary Louise Parker, Whitney Cummings, Dana Delaney

Top suspect: Christina Ricci from Pan Am


blurry vice said...

I know I'm a day late with this one and that a lot of people are guessing Christina Ricci. Probably her. Haven't heard about Pan Am getting canceled though.

Some shows I just read that will be canceled: Charlie's Angels, Playboy Club. Also heard Two Broke Girls might get the ax (Kat Deely?)

I love the Jaessica Lange is an AIA. Lovin' American Horror Story!

BlahBlahBlah said...

oh I love the Ricco guess. her face has changed so much and she used to be more curvy. Plus she is known for films

Rita said...

HOw about Madeleine Stowe from Revenge?

Remember what she looked like in the Last of the Mohicans? Chills! How about Blink with Aidan Quinn?

Now see what she looks like on Revenge. One of my favorite new shows, and truly hope it's not getting axed. Her face does not move! She did something to her nose. And her performance is so far removed from Oscar worthy, I don't see anything moving, or even a light of expression in her eyes when she delivers her lines. When she talks, I always wonder why they picked her for the role, and where is the passionate Madeleine Stowe of old.

VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE: Ted says 'only it's not comedy she's starring in...' And she chews trough her co-stars. She plays a very mean role on Revenge, everybody hates and fears her.

Same age as Teri and Jessica Lange, also Revenge is the same type Soap/Drama as Desperate Housewives.

Have I sold you my Madeleine Stowe guess?

Cecilia00 said...

The age of the AIA's leaves me in doubt on Ricci. I wouldn't consider her an aging actress as the BV implies...

Vanitha Prabhu said...

It could be dana delaney.

lostathome said...

It would be funny if it turned out to be Kathy Bates. She hasn't changed her look but I hate her show. Do we know for sure it's a show currently airing, or one thats season is finished?

Savannah said...

Pan Am recently took a dive in the ratings.

Since she's an actress who has been in movies and just started her "second career" in TV and has had very noticeable, well documented weight issues her whole career, I think it's Ricci. She's been in the business for decades like Jessica Lange and Teri Hatcher since she was a childstar.

blurry vice said...

Madeline Stowe, I could see that. However, Revenge has been doing great I thought. No talk of cancellations that I have heard.

blurry vice said...

earlier this week -

"Dear Ted:
With the new fall season well underway, I was wondering which new shows have Hollywood talking, in a Vicey way.

Dear Surprise, Surprise:
Actually, a lot of the gab I'm hearing about shows these days is actually about the work itself—like how many film homages can Ryan Murphy fit into his new

show American Horror Story, or how OWN is putting "everything" into trying to make the poorly rated Rosie Show take off. However, one particularly emphatic

lead TV star is making her bosses and costars so nervous over the fact that she's doing truck loads of cocaine that...wait! Why am I doing this? I should

make this story a Vice later this week!"

keetz4 said...

It does look like Pan Am is getting cancelled any time soon:

Christianh10 said...

Maria bello, perhaps?

FrenchGirl said...

Christina Ricci is a few young in relation with the Ain't actresses

SpaCat said...

What about Jennine Garafolo? She lost a TON of weight and is a main character on the Criminal Minds spinoff... then again, she's been skinny for a few years now.

Jessi said...

Okay someone suggested 2 Broke Girls, that show was one of the first to be picked up for a whole season, with an early full pick up I doubt that it's anyone from that show. Ted also said it wasn't a comedy.

I like the Christina Ricci guess BUT like others have pointed out she does seem to be quite a bit younger than the AIA but 2 of them are on DH which is the show that airs right before Pan Am.

PrincessTiff said...

Age aside, I'm leaning toward Ricci as well. She does tend to have a bit of crazy-eyes during her scenes and his comment that "primo TV gig she landed as a result of her new-found frame" fits for the theme of Pan-Am (flight attendents who are employed based a large part on their looks).

saycheese said...

christina ricci was also in that movie with the pig nose, adn the clue is that it says 'pygmalion' in the vice...

J. said...

Hmm. "Barbie, who got famous with an entirely different figure than the one she possesses now" - how is Ricci's figure entirely different now? She has always had an eating disorder and that bobble-head look. That's like saying the Olsen twins are showcasing entirely different figures. I'm not buying it.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's Ricci either. She looks the same to me. Plus she was a regular in Ally McBeal. This seems to be someone new to TV.
Rita, you sold me Stowe. Fits the clues.

Rita said...

ok, gotta toot my own horn here people, Sorry to put this here, but this is a first for me. One of my questions made it on the "Ask Ted Video" about JLo and Bradley Cooper. hihi!

Cathy said...

Rita, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think that was your first time... I swear he's answered a question of yours in a video before... have you watched every single one?

Snickers Mom said...

Someone else mentioned this on another site but I thought it was a good catch. Frank Sinatra sang Come Fly with Me, the song used in the Pan Am commercials. That combined with the fact that she's been in the biz for so long and her looks have totally changed (I didn't even recognize her) I'm going with Ricci.

Rita said...

Cathy - I haven't seen that other one, I thought yesterday was my first! Thanks!

Still sticking with Madeleine Stowe for this blind though... Christina Ricci... is just not old enough. I do think though that about 7 years ago she lost a tremendous amount of weight, and had openly spoken of health issues. And Ted does say often that she is crazy. I remember him saying often that her then fiancé was an angel to put up with her crazy.

Anonymous said...

I always thought Christina Ricci was Slurina Thigh-Disaster:

Ted had written an item on Christina Ricci just a few days before posting that blind item:

Weirdly enough, though, that blind item is very similar to this one.

iheartgoss said...

It's definitely not Stowe. Revenge got picked up for the season and is pegged to be the new big show. PanAm is struggling, but I feel like this should be someone who looks completely different from their movie roles and Ricci has looked like this for years now. So what other shows are new and struggling? Who is this Maria Bello? Could it be her? What show is she on?

Rita said...

Maria Bello looks the same as always. She was really great with Viggo Mortensen in History of Violence. Unfortunately her career never really took off. She is as amazing and real in her TV show as in her movies, also, no botox, the wrinkles are very, very much there in early morning scenes.

Hope Ted answers anything soon regarding Ricci. However, when blind was written, Revenge was one of the few shows not yet renewed. Am a fan of that show, so thanks for the good news @iheartgoss!

Rita said...

An answer from Ted today on Christina Ricci: he neither confirms or denies that she's Barbie Sinatra. Hate it when in one sentence he denies, yet confirms at the same time.

Cathy said...

Rita - one of your True Blood questions made it into one of the videos a while back, if I remember correctly.

And yeah, gotta love it when Ted gives those answers that don't actually answer the question at all.

Cathy said...

Also, Teri and Eva are both on Desparate Housewives, which comes on right before Pan Am. Wondering if the Jessica Lange AIA from American Horror Story is somehow a nod to The Addams Family and/or Casper?

PrincessTiff said...

Oooh, Cathy I love your AIA connections!

Rita said...

Cathy - I would say in my guess's defense that Madeleine Stowe's character is a Desperate Housewife on Revenge, actually, she could be THE Desperate Housewife par excellence, thus the age range in the AIA's as well as the DH reference...

But still, wish we had a more definitive answer on Christina Ricci, I could be completely wrong about my Madeleine.

As for the first video, I completely missed that one. Ah well. Happy then I was on there twice!

Cathy said...

Oh AND I just realized Christina and Jessica were in Prozac Nation together!

Rita said...

Cathy - Crap, you solved it! I believe your guess now of Christina, well done!

Good job Cathy, pat-pat, very good job, pat-pat:)

Cathy said...

Thank you! And I haven't seen the movie, but based on the IMDB page, I think Jessica played Christina's mom in Prozac Nation. Even more perfect!

Cecilia00 said...

When Ted answers like that (without a definitive yes o no), to me, it only serves to make me think the person has guessed correctly...because he can't give a yes, but he always (and he does) can give a "No" answer.

He also addressed my concern about Ricci's age, so I am changing my guess to Ricci.

Dr.DuckyDuck said...

I may be out on a limb here, but I think this might be Dana Delany, whose show "Body of Proof" is close to cancellation. She was on Desperate Housewives, though I'm not sure yet how she relates to Jessica Lange.

Dana Delany has said to multiple publications that she had botched plastic surgery that has partially paralyzed her face, and she definitely looks different from when she first appeared in films.

I realize Christina Ricci is the popular answer, but I don't think she's the one.

BlahBlahBlah said...

Also Ricci did the voice of one of the Barbie dolls in "small soilders" and if you watch "the opposite of sex" she is very curvy

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Barbie Sinatra sounds a lot like Christina Ricci, except I wouldn't call her "aging," would you?

Dear Flying the Friendly Skies:
Well I wouldn't exactly call her a fresh chicken—she's been around forever (The Addams Family, anyone?). But some would argue that Christina is looking more

fab than ever on Pan Am.

Dear Ted:
I think you dropped that hint about Christina Ricci to throw us off. I don't think she is Barbie Sinatra at all. My guess is Mary Louise Parker. Am I right?

P.S. Love your Blind Vices, so much fun, keep them coming!
—Can't Be Fooled

Dear Up in Smoke:
Sorry, babe, but looks like you can indeed be fooled. And you were. 'Cause while MLP dabbles in drugs on the boob tube, she's not snorting her way to TV

oblivion in her off time. Think more mainstream for Ms. Sinatra."

blurry vice said...

Also I don't know if I wrote this before... I don't know what Pygmalion means. But I can't help but think of "pig" when I read that. Christina Ricci was in that movie where her character had a pig nose. I forget the name of it. Some random movie I saw a few years ago. If I get a few minutes I will look on IMDB. Oh and I should look up what Pygmalion means.

blurry vice said...


movie featuring Christina Ricci with pig snout = Penelope

Pygmalion = a play written by Irish playwright Shaw

Caz1310 said...

Pygmalion is where someone young is groomed to become someone else (My Fair Lady is based on this play where Hepburn's character is transformed into an impeccable lady). Could this be said of Ricci? She certainly didn't look like she does now, back then. Hehe to the pig nose connection.

FrenchGirl said...

for me, Ricci is too young to fit

chibbs said...

Dear Ted:
Your column is saving me already this season by giving me a place to go to get away from my crazy family. So could you please entertain me and save my sanity by confirming my Vice guess? I think Barbie Sinatra is Whitney Cummings! Am I right?
—Gobble Gobble

Dear Since You Asked So Nicely:
Sorry, but Whit isn't our soon-to-be-canceled babe. While people debate whether Ms. Cummings is funny or not (heck, I'm just happy to see another female comedian getting cred), nobody thinks that Barbie is particularly amusing. Especially when it comes to a punch line.

Read more:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Your column is saving me already this season by giving me a place to go to get away from my crazy family. So could you please entertain me and save my sanity

by confirming my Vice guess? I think Barbie Sinatra is Whitney Cummings! Am I right?
—Gobble Gobble

Dear Since You Asked So Nicely:
Sorry, but Whit isn't our soon-to-be-canceled babe. While people debate whether Ms. Cummings is funny or not (heck, I'm just happy to see another female

comedian getting cred), nobody thinks that Barbie is particularly amusing. Especially when it comes to a punch line.

Anonymous said...

i like the Christina Ricci guess. other guess would be Laura Prepon who's in that new Chelsea Handler sitcom which looks terrible (why didn't Chelsea cast herself?)

EV said...

Christina Ricci confirmed as a Blind Vice in Morning Mail on 2/1, so this one seems even more like her.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
One last suggestion: The late, great Kevyn Aucoin transformed Christina Ricci into Elizabeth Taylor once. Since she is no longer above TV gigs, do you think

she is worthy of the role?

Dear Small Screen Queen:
If I'm not mistaken, it was actually Winona Ryder that got the Liz Taylor transformation, while Ricci got done up as Édith Piaf. But that aside, I don't

actually hate the idea of Christina taking a hiatus from the friendly skies to take on the Lifetime biopic. C.R. is a Vice star, after all, and we all know

Liz is practically an honorary Blind Vice legend!"

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
My university just went tobacco-free! In celebration, would you give me an update on my favorite new Vicer Barbie Sinatra? Has she dropped her habit yet? Has

the network dropped her show...or her? Love ya and keep up the no-smokes habit!

Dear Up in Flames:
Barbie's namesake might be able to pull off multiple careers (Nurse! Teacher! Doctor!), but Ms. Sinatra is having trouble even managing the one gig she's

got. And while her boob-tube series hasn't been cancelled yet, it's only a matter of time. As for her habit? The worse her sitch gets, the more she snorts,

of course.

Dear Ted:
Could Barbie Sinatra be Dana Delaney? Her multiple roles fit but she was in TV before movies and is now back to TV. She had a decidedly different, more hum-

drum look when she was a nurse in China Beach, she's played a teacher at least once, and is now a doctor in on-the-bubble Body of Proof.

HK, you're reading into yesterday's Barbie tidbit wrong. In fact, our Barb's kind of rocked the same look forever now i.e. Dana is not Ms. Sinatra. Think younger and with a bit more glitzy TV fair."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Well, hindsight sure makes Trent Spent look incredibly easy to determine. Thanks for the clarification on Barbie Sinatra...I focused too much on

nurse/teacher/doctor...perhaps the online gossip is true and it isn't a coincidence that you posted that Blind update on a Wednesday? I'm not 100 percent

sold on that one, but it seems to make sense. Some people like Sunday Times crosswords...I like the Blind Vices. Keep 'em comin', Ted.

Dear Sunday BV Fun Day:
Not sure what your question is H, but I will tell you that you're over-thinking the Wednesday update. Next time come back with a guess, and I'll be sure to

dish tons more deets! And thanks for the love!"