Friday, September 3, 2010

Blind Vice: Parrish Gets Pissy With His "People"

New from Ted today -

Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga)Blind Vice: Parrish Gets Pissy With His "People"

How does the saying go? Hell hath no fury like a young pretty boy scorned? Yeah, pretty sure that's it. And, girlfriends, is Parrish Maguire ever pissed!
First, it's important to note, we rarely, if ever, run the same Blind Vice star on concurrent Fridays. But Parrish must be so peeved these days—as we noted in last week's installment—that he's taken to...
Doing the exact opposite of what his worried handlers have been telling him to!
Now, remember how we told you the hunky celeb Maquire's handlers chastised him for too openly getting his (closeted) gay on at parties and select guys-only events? Yep, and Parrish did not like being told to curb his natural man-on-man desires, and, as a result, started getting pretty nasty with his friends—taking his bad mood out on an unlucky few.
But now, Parrish seems to have had a change of heart, and more recently, is directing the frustrations of living a closeted celeb life out on the very people who told him to watch it: his peeps.
Fabulously passive-aggressively, Parrish can be seen riding around town in a ridiculously expensive toy that belongs to one of the primary folks Parrish's management team told him to stay the hell away from.
Love it! It's like a daughter who decides to marry the bad-boy because her 'rents told her not to!
You keep the rebel up, Mr. M! We're likin' you a whole lot better all of a sudden.

And it Ain't: Joe Jonas, Xavier Samel, Daniel Radcliffe
This is the 5th Parrish Maguire BV.  Here are the links to the previous Parrish Maguire BVs:
1 - Jan 2010 (including a full list of who has been eliminated).
2 - March 2010
3 - June 2010
4 - August 2010

Top suspect: Taylor Lautner.

Confirmed by dates that Ted has given us when he was NOT a BV until he was said to have been one: Taylor Lautner


talia said...

so we have to look out for paparazzi-pics of lautner with this "toy"---

blurry vice said...

yesterday -

"Dear Ted:
So Kirsten Stewart and Taylor Lautner are supposed to be superclose, like bro-sis close right? So any word (or thoughts) on what Kristen would think of his recent bratty shenanigans?

Dear Terrible Twis:
Not too surprised, I'm sure. Everyone's expected a bit of ‘tude from the dude for a while now."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What do I have to make go "poof" for you to tell me if Hunter Parrish has a B.V. moniker? And could you also challenge Taylor Lautner to a push-up contest? I'm not sure what the winner would get, but if you both were shirtless, we would all be winners!

Dear On Weeds-days, We Wear Pink!
Cutey Hunter isn't a Vice—hear he's quite the good boy—but haven't checked up on him in a while. He lives out of the limelight, so he certainly could do all that Vicey stuff under the radar. And as for Taylor, babe, there are so many reasons why I wouldn't dare to enter that contest, and not just because I'd lose. Now Hunter and Taylor, that's a push-up contest I'd love to see!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
A question about Parrish Maguire. You said he was given orders to "Reel it in, or else." But if he's become as much of a franchise as you suggest, isn't he too valuable to his employers to be let go? In short, could he really be fired for his indiscretions?

Dear Invalued Goods:
There are punishments for misbehaving other than flat-out getting fired, dearest. I'm not suggesting that the guy will be killed off or anything, but there can be other ways that his employers and managers can persuade him to step in line. In fact, speaking of, would it be overkill for a Parrish B.V. later today? I can type more 'bout him then."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Parrish Maguire old enough to vote?

Dear And Enlist!

The Spie said...

Five BVs in eight months. That puts Parrish/Taylor in Toothy/Pixie Mixie territory. In a way, that's impressive.

Unknown said...

Good questions in BB today, that was the one thing that didn`t sit right with me regarding Taylor being this BV. The whole being fired by Summit did not seem plausible. He is No 3 afterall! Ted really made it sound like he would be fired, and has now backtracked on that.

Brittany said...

Taylor and Hunter PARRISH mentioned in the same question. I think Ted was just giving us that one. Pretty clever of whoever asked it.

Tara said...

Taylor Lautner caught driving Bryan Singer's (aka notorious gay house party thrower/producer) Lambo earlier this year. I'm sure the bigwigs wanted him to distance himself from this dude. Posted link in last week's PM blind thread also.

Meri said...

Brittany, I said that exact same thing. He's all but outing the guy here. I love it!

blurry vice said...

Don't forget Crescent Kumquat. (chace crawford) He has 6.

Anonymous said...


The Spie said...

Blurry: Yeah, but Crescent had six BVs over sixteen months. Given Ted's Twilight obsession, I don't think it'll take eight months for the next Parrish BV. Like I said, Parrish is in rarefied territory.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
According to the tabloids last week, Taylor Lautner won his settlement against the RV people. They post the amount and post what charity it goes to. I have a sneaky feeling this is PR control. It has been stated that he gives to this charity all the time, but why are we just hearing about now. I don't doubt that he likes to give but the timing is just perfect. I smell a PR cover-up. What do you think?

Dear Diva In Disguise:
Tay-Tay & Co. don't want his hunky semi-hero image to be tarnished with a hissy fit of truly bitchy proportions, do they? People won't wonder too much how he got the cash as long as he puts it to a good cause."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What are the odds of Parish McGuire "screwing up" and being outed by someone who doesn't have a legal team keeping him from it? And you said he was old enough to vote, is he old enough to drink?

Dear Parish Pains:
Man's got quite the legal squad that will keep anyone who threatens Parrish's heartthrob-status gagged. Parish runs in a group that keeps their lips sealed tight—at gabbing, that is. Everyone who is in, is in...and they want to stay that way."

Unknown said...

notice he didn't answer the question about drinking age - narrows it down too much

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You recently answered my comment that Angelina Jolie would make a great Mrs. Robinson in a remake of The Graduate, and asked who I thought should play Benjamin. I think Michael Cera is the obvious choice, but I was thinking...Why not make it interesting, and have Benjamin fall not for Mrs. Robinson's daughter, but for her son? Taylor Lautner would be great in that role. I can just picture him pounding on the church door, screaming "Dwayne! Dwayne!"

Dear Creative Writing:
You're crazy, Susan, but you made me laugh. Good luck convincing Tay to sign on to that. Never in a million years, babe. How about Nick Jonas?"

blurry vice said...


"Dear Ted:
I'm just dying to know if Taylor Lautner has a saucy B.V. and whether this would affect his squeaky-clean teen heartthrob image.

Dear Questionable:
He is a B.V., isn't he? That would be a so-true darling."

Rita, Montreal said...

Can't be more clear than that. Wonder if Taylor's people will start with the legal threats.

Plus note the "Questionable" it seems to be directed at the "squeaky-clean heartthrob image".

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Why do you dislike Taylor Lautner so much? Kristen Stewart seems to like him just fine and she is pretty famous for her no B.S. meter reader with people. I don't think she would put their friendship "out there" if it wasn't authentic. So give us a list of reasons or lay off the kid. Come on, Ted, isn't there enough room in your heart for Rob, Kristen, and Taylor?

MORE: Catch up on Ted's goss in the Bitch-Back! section

Dear Too Perfect:
Hate is way too strong, W. I adore Tay, but he just seems like he's molding into the perfect PR mouthpiece. I feel like the Lautner you see isn't the real Lautner you get. Actually, I know that! And I'd like to get to know the guy behind the perfectly chiseled abs and smile."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What is going on with Parrish Maguire? We had a few updates this summer, but any word if he has he changed his closeted tune? Or is he laying low, doing what his handlers want?

Dear Do What Your Told:
We feel bad for Parrish; he really is a mini Toothy Tile. He's running with his crew on the down-low (unless you live in Hollywood, then his sexuality isn't exactly a secret), still insisting that this is just an "experimental phase."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Darla Jones ever been linked to Parrish Maguire?

Dear Young Luv:
They've run in the same hump-happy circles before. Not so hot and bothered though, B. Trust."

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You've talked about Parrish Maguire being a favorite new "toy" with some high-powered Hollywood gays, but have these connections paid off for him professionally yet? Are any of these men going out on a limb for him, or just toying with him during their off-time?

Dear Show Me The Money:
Parr is definitely making a name for himself in this town and I guess you could say it's paying off: He's landing role after role. Not good parts, but they're still paying the bills and making him a household name. And that's all that matters, right?"

Unknown said...

lainey pretty much called him out today:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Nelly Fang, Parrish Maguire, Toothy Tile, Nevis Divine, and I feel like I'm missing one... Anyway, are any of these guys actually in love with their beards? If so, which one?

Dear Man Meat:
That's a hunky group of guys! I'd say Nelly is in lust (and he's not just getting it with the missus) and Nevis is in love. Again, I don't think the typical "beard" definition is correct when talking about Mr. Divine."

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been wondering, has my favorite Nevis Divine ever hooked up with Parrish Maguire? How cool would that be?

Dear Hell No:
You're not even close! First off, they are not each other's types. At all. Nevis is bi, whereas Parrish is gay as a rainbow. Those two would never go for

each other. What attracted Nevy to Barrington was less physical than it was emotional."

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I have to ask, is Taylor Lautner really as innocent as he seems?

Dear Twi Wondering:
No, he's a dirty boy and all the innocent girlfriends in the world won't be able to hide his Vices forever and ever. Hate to break it!"

pikespeak said...

I howled at that dirty boy crack.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After the horrific homophobic rant from Tracy Morgan, I would like to know: Is the guy's behind-the-scenes attitude as awful as his acting? I love 30 Rock but I always tend to fast-forward when the guy is on-screen. Also, I have a quickie. Let's play Ditch, Do or Marry: Youngsters Edition! Who would you do, ditch or marry from the following: Wilby Whiskers, Parrish Maguire and Nevis Divine? Thanks!

Dear Rock 'n' A-Hole:
Tracy hasn't made his less-than-PC opinions a secret in the past so I wasn't too surprised when I heard about the latest crap he was spewing. Not funny, obviously, and just cause he issued some generic apology doesn't mean he's off the hook. Tina Fey has done a pretty good job keeping his 'tude out of the public eye, but one woman can only do so much. As for the BVs, well, I'd marry Nev, do Parr, and ditch Wilby. But that's an interesting selection for "youngsters," age-wise I mean."

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
Whose career would be the most damaged should their Vice be revealed, Zac Efron, Taylor Swift or Taylor Lautner?

Dear Dirty Laundry:
Taylor, definitely. The boy one, I mean.

Dear Ted:
So you said Taylor Lautner's Vice would be one of the most shocking of the young B.V.ers, but it is well documented that T.L.'s dad is all up in his business

and possibly as bad a stage parent as Dina Lohan. So my question is, does papa Lautner know about the B.V. and turn a blind eye as long as the money is

rolling in? I can't imagine the little werewolf could be so undercover with such a controlling parental unit.
—Still Team Sparkles

Dear Daddy's Boy:
Tay's dad tends to poke his nose into the biz side of things rather than what his son is up to on whatever movie set he's on, but he is most definitely aware

of Taylor's Vice. Taylor keeps it under wraps from the public (fairly well, might I add) but doesn't hide it from his fam, his peeps or any of his hottie

castmates. Trust, they all know."