Sunday, September 19, 2010

Our First Weekly Vintage Blind Vice! - Sass But No Class

We and our readers love to go back and rehash old blind items.  And since Ted Casablanca has told us that the subjects of his Blind Vices are only given one name each, we especially love trying to figure out who is who.  Hence, digging up old Blind Vices to discuss!  Since every celeb gets his/her own nickname, they each deserve a mention here with an analysis of who is who. And thanks to our reader Brittany's idea, we are going to try and make the "vintage blind vice" a weekly post.

Salma Hayek 24X36 Poster - Very Hot - New! - Buy Me! #03So... here is an old one, dug up from way back - August 14, 2003.

Uh-oh. Looks like a certain sex-ay 'n' sassy spitfire has been rubbing some of the more giving people the wrong way.You see, Ms. Sass but No Class loves to get her luscious curves exfoliated, massaged and moistened at a pricey Hell-Ay day spa. You know the routine: facials, waxes, mud wraps, salt baths, all the necessary pampering to keep her A-list assets primed to perfection. It's quite the treat for us normal folk but merely routine for the likes of S.B.N.C. What a pain, huh? Well, I'll tell ya, it certainly is, especially for peeps whose job it is to pluck and plump her sorry (but simply sublime) puss. While most spa-goers relax and enjoy the treatment, Sassy is all spit 'n' spat. In fact, she's downright mean. A masseuse, an esthetician, no matter--she has berated them all to tears. No one can do it good enough for this demanding diva. "She's made all the girls cry," revealed one rub-dub type. "No one likes her around here." Snippy evil bitch? Who knew? Such the surprise, considering Sassy's sweeter-than-sugar act. Guess she deserves an Oscar after all. 

Top suspect was: Salma Hayek

When guessing, remember this is from 2003!


Tara said...

There are rumors that Salma is a megabitch to all staff. I even recall an old blind (non AT) about a big celeb in LA just ripping into a dayspa staff member while getting a massive bikini wax. Everyone thought that was her or Catherine Zeta, so combined with this, I would say both are Hayek. Trying to find a link for that now.

The Spie said...

Tara: It goes beyond rumors. Remember that Lainey revealed Hayek in one of her blinds to be the Boss From Hell (we've got that one here, I believe). If she treats the hired help like this, peons at a day spa would be second nature.

blurry vice said...

Oh right, I forgot about that one. It was "a bitch to work for" I believe. Well I guess this was her back in 2003 too.

Brittany said...

Wow, Ted used to be really obvious with his blinds. How things change.

That last line makes me think of when she hilariously hosted SNL right before the Oscars that year. She kept "jokingly" campaigning for how she and the movie 'Frida' should be getting all the attention instead of 'Chicago.' Which coincidently Catherine Zeta won an Oscar for.

Unknown said...

julia roberts

bananya said...

For whatever reason, I doubt that Julia Roberts is big on keeping up with bikini waxes. She is for sure all natural down there.

I believe this to be Salma too.

Kate16 said...

This is the wrong place for this comment (Is there a general board somewhere?) - Ted just posted an entry about Warren Beatty and Annette Bening and made a point of saying they were form Oklahoma. Does anyone remember which BV talked about an OK-ie/okay guy?

Caz1310 said...

Spie, I remember that Lainey blind too. This is funny, looking back to when Salma was v.popular. Would she get away with treating people like that now, when she's off the star radar LOL?