Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Lainey- Another Winner

Another Winner

Jennifer Aniston 24X36 Poster - Very Hot - New! - Buy Me! #01She certainly knows how to pick them, douchebag after douchebag. Although it’s ended with the last one who didn’t want to get serious he’s still getting a lot of mileage from their brief hook-up. Seems he has a really big mouth, and is telling everyone everywhere how much she wanted him. So much so that the first time they had sex, at a friend’s place, she was so horny and had to have him so badly that it didn’t matter that she was on her period. She pulled her tampon out on the spot, tossed it aside cavalierly, and invited him in. He also keeps boasting to his buddies that she loved going down on him, especially in the car. Said it made her feel like she was still in high school, she got off on the danger...and she gets off on her own body. According to him, nothing made her as hot as hearing compliments about how tight she is. Like that would crank her up several notches. Typical asshole, looking back now, he says he’d just reel off some standard, premeditated one-liners, just to f-ck with her some more, and get her more enthusiastic on his ride. He barely, barely matters, and she’s a big deal, and though it’s over now he’s using it like an item on his resumé, the very opposite of discretion, and for her, another romantic embarrassment, although maybe, given her obviously preference for dickheads, maybe she doesn’t see it that way.

Update 9/29 - Lainey has eliminated Jessica Simpson, Anne Hathaway, Reese Witherspoon, Kim Kardashian.

* Top suspect: Jennifer Aniston and Josh Hopkins

64 comments:

duffgrl said...

This has to be either Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Aniston...probably Jessica Simpson. Her boyfriend right now is a total user, but the riddle sounds like it's about someone before him. I know she briefly dated some other football player(after Tony Romo) named Colt something; and she also dated Billy Corgan...not sure on the guy but it's probably Jessica S.

Brittany said...

Jen Aniston.

Stephanie said...

I say definitely Jessica Simpson. She seems nasty enough to yank a tampon out and throw it across a room. Yuck.

Kate16 said...

My first thought is Jen Aniston.

MISCH said...

Sorry but I think it's totally Jen, and it makes me sad to say so.

Rita, Montreal said...

Me too Misch - Because of the tight body. For if it was Jess Simpson, he would've talked about her ample bosom or something like that. Been a very long while since Jess had a tight body, she had regained her curves for quite sometime now.

It also could be Minka Kelly, if we are insisting that the douche is John Mayer.

Darla said...

Im thinking this guy is a comedian.....the wording "standard, premeditated one-liners" jumps out for me.

Maybe.

der said...

lainey ALWAYS refers to jen's body as tight....so i am inclined to think jen.

but not sure who the guy is. mayer doesn't seem to 'barely barely matter' yeah, hes a douche, but he is successful.

hmmmmm......

Rita, Montreal said...

Just watched eTalk and Lainey just said for Jen Aniston to watch out, because this is going to hurt, because Josh Hopkins (Cougar Town) is telling everyone that Jen had dated him VERY briefly, because, wait for it, he thought she was too old for him, and was only a conquest.

Almost word for word.

Does this confirm more?

hordac said...

Sounds pretty good Rita! I think a threw up a little picturing a tampon being thrown across a room. Yuck would have thought Jen had more class. Agree that JS cannot be considered "tight"

C said...

Am I the only person who thought of Kim Kardashian here? She obviously doesn't pick boyfriends well, she appears really desperate, and Miles Austin is barely famous. Everyone always guesses Jen Aniston for everything!

Nicole said...

It doesn't sound like she's referring to her body as tight, sounds like she's referring to her tight womanly bits.. if that matters... :/

Jennifer said...

My 1st guess after reading it was Jen Aniston. After I read this comments it just confirms it more for me.

boobookittyluv said...

January Jones and Jeremy Pivens

Rita, Montreal said...

Actually C, I was thinking one of the Kardashian sisters would fit more Cass Stimulatia... But no way Ted would call any of them less attractive than skeletor Zoe.

I've read Lainey's blind again, and don't necessarily see the tight as being about her bits...

But also, remember it is Lainey's blind, and Lainey has said it many times, that we are all very silly for wasting time on reality shows like the Kardashians and Jersey Shore. Therefore, she would never call a Kardashian "she is a big deal" compared to his "he barely matters". What do you think?

Sad though that we think of Jen whenever a douchebag mentions his big-deal conquest.

Sara said...

Way to go Rita, I think it's solved :) I don't watch eTalk regularly, but I've heard Lainey expand on a few of the blind items on her site when she's giving her gossip round-up on TV. Gotta be Jen and Josh.

der said...

alsooooo
to echo rita's comment:

lainey loves to tell the answers and often sneaks them in. i'm sure it was no coincidence that this blind item was posted on lainey TODAY and that the etalk segment also ran TODAY. that is just the type of clue-giver lainey is!

i consider this one solved.

duffgrl said...

Does sound like Jen and Josh...she was actually my 1st guess, then started to think more JS because of Lainey always saying JS dates losers...the etalk hint is very telling. I originally thought about Jen A and Harry Morton but I guess it is Josh. EW on the whole story. Surprising since he is supposed to be buds w/ Courtney Cox too.

Rita, Montreal said...

You know what duffgrl, I've always liked Jen and thought her to be cool and classy (even if she dates douchebags). We have to remember ladies, that the story was heard from the guy's mouth: douchebags lie, embellish, and bullshit (thus the douche). If he is putting this on his resume, he is of course embellishing. Let's say he did sleep with Jen, the worst would be that he is not open for a relationship because he thinks her too old for real, but in now way she had to have him and took her tampon off, me thinks it's douchey embellishments.

At best, Jen went out on a date one-on-one without the friends, them decided he is too immature and fame hungry for her. Usually the paparazzi never catch Jen, she is called the Ghost! Because I am team Aniston, I will foolishly believe this version. Sorry, am admitting to it, i am being foolish.

Caz1310 said...

As much as I loathe Maniston I can't see her doing that to a used feminine hygiene item. Agree with others in thinking that the basics are right about her and that this fine specimen of a man has embelished the details. Admittedly I first thought of Anne Hathaway due to her TERRIBLE choice is men however I'd really like this to be Maniston. Her PR machine works triple time to give her a squeaky clean image and I'd like her to be taken down a peg or two.

Tara said...

Jessica definitely seems more like the one to do the tampon thing--gross. In reading this, both Aniston and Simpson were the names that popped into my head as well. Not that I don't think this could be Aniston, given all the evidence, but I agree with Nicole; don't believe Lainey was talking about a "tight" bod.....that'd be a reference to her hoo-ha.

Ross Family Five said...

For what it is worth, I also took the "tight" comment to be regarding her hoo-ha. I thought of both JS and Aniston. They both have a habit of gravitating towards D-bags. There are several reasons I don't see this being Aniston...from the tossing of the tampon, to the BJ in a car, to the comments about wanting to feel 20 again...isn't she just past 40? But, none of those rule her out, just as much as they don't scream JS.

Hilary said...

My guess is Kate Hudson. She's obviously insecure with her body (breast implants) and she's dated tons of douchebags (and Lainey always calls them douches) like Lance Armstrong and Alex Rodriguez. I can totally see A-Rod talking sh** about her to his teammates.

Hilary said...

Also, I emailed Lainey, and while I realize this isn't slam-dunk, she didn't answer me at all, while she answered a few people on her live blog today, ruling out:
Anne Hathaway
Reese Witherspoon

xyling said...

Jennifer Aniston for sure. She always hooks-up with douchebags...

Henriette said...

It's Jennifer Aniston, this one was a bit too obvious. The "tight" body and dating douche bags makes this one pretty easy.

lelale said...

It's Jen Aniston and a Guy from Cougartown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP_DV9pQ-1M

Jessica said...

Would Lainey really call Jen A. a big deal though? I think she's pretty clear that she's over. I also don't really buy the theory that Jen is desperate to "get serious," I see her as more of a carefree single type.

I thought of Kim Kardashian too, especially because Miles Austin is in that commercial now for something I can't remember, sorry. Who knew who he was until she came along?

Sarah said...

Jennifer Aniston and Josh Hopkins from Cougartown FOR SURE. Today there's and US Magazine story on how they had a thing and she wanted more and he didn't. http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/jen-aniston-rejected-by-cougar-towns-josh-hopkins-2010299Celebitchy picked up on it and also thinks that the Lainey blind is about them. http://www.celebitchy.com/119321/us_weekly_jennifer_aniston_dated_a_dude_who_referred_to_her_as_a_sport_f-ck/

blurry vice said...

Lainey today

"Thank you for all your messages, your advice (um, you all know your drug tricks...), and your wellwishes. This by the way is not my Porny Simpson. That should pretty much take care of it, non?"

vegan girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/jen-aniston-rejected-by-cougar-towns-josh-hopkins/48032

vegan girl said...

awwwww, poor jen :(

Viking Girl said...

Mean. Just mean. And unkind.

I've never been a fan of J.A.s films or her P.R. stunts, but no one deserves this. The trouble is, there's no way of exposing his behaviour without disclosing her indentity.

She needs to stop dating Hollywood types. The ones that aren't gay are just wankers. And you're allowed to be a wanker in Hollywood. It's probably encouraged.

I wish I believed in Karma.

Jen said...

Yup. http://perezhilton.com/2010-09-29-maniston_rejected_by_cougar_town_actor

AshleyG said...

I gotta say I was leaning towards JS for this and I also thought the "tight" was a reference to her hooha, not her body, but now its pretty much been confirmed as JA. Sad, I actually like her overall.

duffgrl said...

Agree w/ Viking Girl and AshleyG's comments...even if you aren't a fan of JA's there is no excuse for his douchebag behavior.(Note to Rita: I said "EW" just about the story, don't get all defensive, if you read my comment you would see I wrote it was surprising he would talk like that as he is on a show w/ JA's BFF)
Also...Blurry...interesting your post of Lainey's comment ruling out JS, ("this should pretty much take care of it,non?)Sounds like a response to our comments; our 1st comment was that it was either JS or JA since Lainey always says that they date douchebags.
Funny, it's all over the internet today. Hopefully Courtney Cox will get him booted off the show.

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...

LOL Viking! Love it...so true, they are all tools aren't they? I totally was focusing on JS too, but its pretty much in the bag w/JA, huh? But, Hilary, props on the Kate Hudson guess. She loves idiots too. Who dates someone who has a painting of themselves as a centaur? That's A-Rod. Ridiculous!!

Rita, Montreal said...

duffgrl, I understood you correctly. My raging was all about the douche who told such a story.

duffgrl said...

I know Hopkins must have a contract on that show but w/ CC as exec producer...would love to see his character humiliated then dumped on the show...then maybe be killed off.

Rita, Montreal said...

Don't think that would be happening anytime soon unfortunately. Courtney and Josh's storyline made the show more popular. Would not however want to be in Courtney's shoes after all this has been blown out of proportion in the media! Don't think she is going to support Jen the same way when Brad left her though, this time around, it's about money. CC's money.

Clancy said...

I thought Jennifer immediately but felt it was too obvious a choice. I can't believe she'd do the tampon thing though - can't you see her being absolutely disgusted at hearing another girl do this? I think she's a bit too classy for that. But really, what kind of guy would watch a woman do that and still want to have sex with her? I'm thinking that parts a definite fabrication.

ECFan said...

It's Aniston. Lainey as much as said so in her e-Talk piece on Tuesday night and the new US magazine all but outright laughs at Aniston for getting dumped by Hopkins - just like every other man has dumped her.

Frankly, I don't know why anyone ie surprised at this story. Aniston is a great big ho and always has been. Granted it was Brad Pitt, but Aniston got on Letterman 8 years ago and bragged about sleeping with him on their first date - which was a BLIND DATE. Added to that she was known to tip-toe around on Pitt when he was out of town - on both sides of the street if you know what I mean. Aniston also used to sleep with the male writers on Friends for extra lines or the funniest jokes. That little activity is chronicled in a sexual harrassment lawsuit a former female Friends writer filed against NBC, the producers & writers of Friends. I always knew that sooner rather than later Aniston would be unmasked for the ho she is. At the very least she could make more of an effort to find less talky guys - but, that wouldn't get her any publicity, now would it?

Jamee said...

ECFan--I really don't mean to attack you, but I have absolutely no idea how you got that info about Aniston during Friends. I read that whole suit/deposition and all it said about her was that some writer told another writer that "he could have f-cked her a couple years ago" and that one of them thought he could (pardon me) f-ck her in the ahem butt if he wanted to. Among a million other disgusting things those writers said about a million other people. It never said whatever you claim it chronicled. I believe this blind is Jen for sure, but whatever you just said is a pretty crazy interpretation of the depo.

Anyways, the tampon part is plain nast-ay.

Viking Girl said...

Was this blind intended to expose the conduct of the woman or the man ? Because virtually all the oppropbrium has been directed towards the woman, the guy has become a mere detail.

The more I think about it, the more I think this was Laineys intention. She knew full well no one would care about the mans indentity.

It's interesting that today she has a post about a man who, in her words ''...died, literally, of embarrassment...'' after a tape of him having sex was streamed online. Maybe the bastards who did that should have just posted a description of the poor guy having sex instead.

http://laineygossip.com/Tyler_Clementi_suicide_50_Cent_tweet_homophobic_30sept10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

Rita, Montreal said...

Viking - I absolutely agree with you, thus my poo-pooing against the douche a bit higher in the posts.

I find it sad that we are believing what the douche said and taking his story at faith value. Douchebags tend to exaggerate, embellish and often bullshit. Poor Jen, I still like her for assuming her sexuality and not settling down to please the popular vote.

I like my gossip raw, but this blind was a tad too much. But then again, if it was Paris Hilton, I would've thought no surprise there...

Michelle said...

Agree with you too, Viking. The guy is douche of the highest order. I got the feeling Lainey feels sorry for her....not completely of course, since it's JA, who we know she loathes. But I think this one almost moved her to pity. Almost...

I like Jennifer too. Kinda wish she'd stop playing into some of the media stuff and I definitely don't want to see her with any more Mayers, but I am rooting for her.

Also, agree this one was a bit much! Bacterial infections, tampons, what next??

Clancy said...

Is there any reason Lainey hates her? Anyone know the history?

Rita, Montreal said...

Clancy - She doesn't hate her really, but she is against the fact that Jen talks about girl power, than not only dates users, but makes shitty girl-powerless movies.

Did not start that way though, she was on team Aniston a few years back. Also, note that Lainey never had a bad star experience with Jen. She simply wants Jen to succeed, but has been quite disappointed in her choices lately. Same with what she calls her Porny a.k.a Jessica Simpson.

This blind I think is Lainey's way of saying: there you go, that's what bad choices at your age get you.

Clancy said...

Ahh, I see. Thanks Rita!

Seattlevice said...

I also wonder where ECFan got all of that info? I'd like to see some sources cited.....but I have to agree that people tend to mix up the public persona with the real person. I am sure we are all guilty of that--we love our celebrities! I think you have to look at Jen's actions rather than words....she herself has made statements to the effect that she likes her weed, questioned whether she wanted to have kids due to trauma from her parents divorce and she picks jerk after jerk. Personally, I think she is a hippy at heart yet can't seem to recognize when men are insincere. I agree with the comment that she needs to date outside of those business. Women tend to pick men of which they think they are worthy. And, the story is very likey exaggerated....maybe he skipped the part where she said,"Let me run to the bathroom". I sure hope she did--I knew a girl in high school who did the same thing and the guy bragged about it and she never lived it down. I don't think Jen should be held up as a role model but I also don't think men should be bragging about this sort of thing and I too am curoius to see how C.C. deals with it long-term.

Jamee said...

I agree with you, Seattle. I don't think Jen is doing anything to help her campaign. She's all "girl next door" then runs around with John Mayer and the douche in this blind. It's more people ammo to call her desperate. I don't know though, what 41-year-old woman who has said she wants to get married and have kids isn't desperate from time to time? Not that being 41, single, and childless is a bad thing at all if that's what they want, but I think it's kind of laughable when people my age (mid-twenties) call her desperate. Hello, I want to get married and have kids, and if I didn't have those things at 41, you better believe my desperation will come through! Anyways, it really doesn't surprise me that this guy is boasting and I'm sure embellishing. It's Jen A. He'd do that if it was a nobody. I used to live with two guys and next door to another four of their friends. Guys are so crude, disgusting, boastful, and downright bullshitters talking about girls with their boys. It's sad. I always told them that after I move out I never want to live with a guy unless he's my bf or husband, because I HATED having that inside peek at the way men talk to each other. And you know what? Every single one of those guys were really good guys. It's just immature man shit. So gross. And this guy is 40 and very immature. But I'm not surprised no one really cares about how he's acting and more concerned with her actions.

It's probably because I'm such a huge Friends fan, but I've always rooted for Jen. Even through her crappy movies and when everyone thinks she's desperate. Kind of how I've always rooted for B. Spears. I am slowly becoming less and less a fan of Jen's though. (However, I'll never be less a fan of Brit's. That's true love.)

Caz1310 said...

At last, a sensible rational discussion about Maniston. My sole beef with her is that she lives for PR and doesn't deserve the roles she gets. There are a ton of actresses more talented and able to carry movies than her. For someone who seeningly craves media attention as much as her she has to cop the good with the bad. I do think the details of this article are a bit much and doubt that it's 100% accurate. If she wants to be footloose and fancy free and a serial dater she should be honest about it (as Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson are) and stop the America's sweetheart act. I think we've all had enough of the 'poor Jen' bizzo. Not all publicity is good publicity.

duffgrl said...

As much as I'm not a huge fan of JA's, I really don't see her putting on the "America's sweetheart" act as you point out above. She likes the PR attn as many other actresses do, but she's blatantly drinking margaritas, smoking, etc. If you are talking about movie roles, Kate Hudson is much more annoying to me, playing all of these "sweetheart roles"..ugh, she is so fake and plays the same person all the time.Aniston does too, but, Hudson comes across as faker and more annoying if you ask me.
As for Josh H., I think that show could definitely survive w/out him and his fake tan. They can find another himbo to replace him. CCA hopefully can do something about that-although- I don't like that show anyway.

Rita, Montreal said...

duffgrl - so right about Aniston! Right on spot, the girl drinks her margarita, flaunts her bikini, and lives her life! Not withstanding her acting choices lately (let's hope Cruel Bosses will showcase the best of her talents), she is less annoying than most. Spot on also on Kate Hudson: not better choices in acting, in men, plus, why the need to pretend that every dude you date is the love of your life? In 2010, you are allowed to have sexual conquests that your son does need to meet and get to know as future daddy number 237!

Jamee said...

Good point duff. I guess when I say the America's sweetheart thing, I feel like she's all "yes I so want to have kids and get married," then she goes and dates John Mayer and whatever happened with this Josh guy. She should own the fact that she's just having fun right now. I don't know if anyone can date JM and actually think there's a serious future? Either way, I really think a lot of this "poor Jen" stuff is completely and totally put out there by the press. I can't remember the last time JA talked about what happened with Angie or feeling sorry for herself about still being single. It's been years. I think people do give her a hard time about that, saying that she's still sitting at home crying about Brad. I just don't see that from her, but people can't seek to get over it.

Sara said...

Viking Girl - I don't think there was any fear of Jen "dying" of embarrassment from this blind. Lets not forget that infamous picture of Jen, Gerald Butler and his finger. She's used to douchebags embarrassing her. Though she probably finds nothing embarrassing about it.

Kai said...

While I want to believe that some of this is false, I can't help but think that she dated John Mayer and everyone knows he's into the umm... dirtier stuff I guess is a nice way to put it.

Caz1310 said...

Totally agree Kai, wouldn't expect Mayer the Player to be into physical contact under the sheets with the lights off. Anyone who has been with him would have to have some skanky attributes to keep his interest for even a little bit.

sarahp said...

Lainey basically confirmed this in the Live Blog today. When asked what Jennifer Aniston was up to these days, her answer was:
"she got shamed into hiding after that dude said he f-ed her as a beltnotch"

http://www.laineygossip.com/Weekly_Live_Blog_26oct10.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

Rita, Montreal said...

Lainey confirms it is Jen today:

It’s been a couple of months since we’ve seen her. She chose to lay low after that embarrassing episode with that Cougar Town guy who made his dick grow by telling everyone after he f-cked her. The other day there was a story about Spittle Butler and John Mayer singing together at a party. It reminded me of her, her douche taste in men. And then I wondered if she’d be attracted to Sean Penn. She totally would.

Viking Girl said...

Saw this today:

http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-03-30/courteney-cox-new-beau-enjoy-family-beach-vacation-in-st-barts-photos/

So much for us hoping that CC put her producers cap on and kick the tosser to the kerb.

Jamee said...

Aniston confirmed today...as if we didn't already know, though!

http://laineygossip.com/Jennifer_Anistons_hair_is_longer_in_photos_with_Justin_Theroux_taken_by_Terry_Richardson_23jun11.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

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