Vampire Blind Vice: Biting Her Way to the Top!
Poor Valyrie Tress-Trap, she didn't think anybody was onto her. Isn't it always the way with Hollywood's most ambition, most conniving? They like to convince themselves they're so stealth with their naughty, master plans. Nobody will ever find out! Well, more and more folks are discovering exactly how Valyrie, a member of a highly successful fang franchise, works it off-camera—and that she's been doing so for quite some time.
At first, cast and crewmembers just thought it was a coincidence that Val was seen out and about with one or two of the show's hottest stars. But that was before these on-set folks discovered a couple of things:
First, Val has actually bedded at least two of the hot vamp show's beautiful leads. We're not talkin' supporting players here, babes. We mean the top names. Second, it's no accident Ms. Tress-Trap happened to get it on with her bloody-TV offering's most famous talent. She planned it from the beginning! Wow, what a total user! You'd think all the attention and fancy Hollywood perks Val got as a result was worth it for her, in the end—I mean, having to sell herself like that?
(If you even have to think twice about answering this question, you're reading the wrong gossip column.)
This sorry and rather typical way of achieving fame is exactly what people who still toil on the megapopular franchise are just now discovering: that this was Valyrie's whoring plan from the get-go. According to certain knowledgeable, blabbing set sources, VT-T stupidly told one crewmember (who then told a few more): "I'm going to f--k whoever gets me the most famous."
Well, points to Valyrie for being honest!
Problem is, Tress-Trap—who really is a cold fish, as she convinced her lovely female paramour she's really into chicks, when she's not—doesn't understand why more and more of her castmates are suddenly finding they've got other post-filming places to be that don't usually include her. And the crafty looker is simply flummoxed about what to do about it.
She's even thinking of rekindling her original two affairs on the show, just to try and get back in their good graces, among other totally stupid plans...like making a spoof project about their franchise.
Silly girl, doesn't she know the spoof's on her?
And It Ain't: Anna Kendrick, Anna Paquin, Ashley Greene
Update 1/28/11 - Ted has eliminated Evan Rachel Wood.
Top suspect: Nina Dobrev,