Friday, July 16, 2010

Vampire Blind Vice: Biting Her Way to the Top!

New from Ted today -


Vampire Blind Vice: Biting Her Way to the Top!

The Vampire Diaries: The Complete First SeasonPoor Valyrie Tress-Trap, she didn't think anybody was onto her. Isn't it always the way with Hollywood's most ambition, most conniving? They like to convince themselves they're so stealth with their naughty, master plans. Nobody will ever find out! Well, more and more folks are discovering exactly how Valyrie, a member of a highly successful fang franchise, works it off-camera—and that she's been doing so for quite some time.
At first, cast and crewmembers just thought it was a coincidence that Val was seen out and about with one or two of the show's hottest stars. But that was before these on-set folks discovered a couple of things:
First, Val has actually bedded at least two of the hot vamp show's beautiful leads. We're not talkin' supporting players here, babes. We mean the top names. Second, it's no accident Ms. Tress-Trap happened to get it on with her bloody-TV offering's most famous talent. She planned it from the beginning! Wow, what a total user! You'd think all the attention and fancy Hollywood perks Val got as a result was worth it for her, in the end—I mean, having to sell herself like that?
(If you even have to think twice about answering this question, you're reading the wrong gossip column.)
This sorry and rather typical way of achieving fame is exactly what people who still toil on the megapopular franchise are just now discovering: that this was Valyrie's whoring plan from the get-go. According to certain knowledgeable, blabbing set sources, VT-T stupidly told one crewmember (who then told a few more):  "I'm going to f--k whoever gets me the most famous."
Well, points to Valyrie for being honest!
Problem is, Tress-Trap—who really is a cold fish, as she convinced her lovely female paramour she's really into chicks, when she's not—doesn't understand why more and more of her castmates are suddenly finding they've got other post-filming places to be that don't usually include her. And the crafty looker is simply flummoxed about what to do about it.
She's even thinking of rekindling her original two affairs on the show, just to try and get back in their good graces, among other totally stupid plans...like making a spoof project about their franchise.
Silly girl, doesn't she know the spoof's on her?

And It Ain't: Anna Kendrick, Anna Paquin, Ashley Greene 

Update 1/28/11 - Ted has eliminated Evan Rachel Wood.


Top suspect: Nina Dobrev,

37 comments:

blurry vice said...

OK so he clearly states it's someone from a TV show then makes two of the AIA's Twilight people. He is truly obsessed with Twilight even when it's not about them! Anyway... I'm not as familiar with the True Blood and Vampire Diaries casts. Or any other vampire TV show for that matter (I know there are others). Anyone know who this is?

xamandabethx said...

What about Tara from True Blood? I don't know anything about Vampire Diaries.

cassandra said...

he says show a few times? so does that mean its a tv show? maybe nina dobrev? is vampire diaries even popular? or evan rachel wood, she has a part on true blood and was previously linked to alexander skaarsgard when she first started on the show. idk i dont think there are any other popular vampire shows with well-known cast members besides true blood

andiecandie said...

My first instinct was Nina Dobrev but I also though of Evan Rachel Wood after thinking about it. She was linked to Michael McMillan and Alexander Skarsgard. But if I had to choose I would say its Nina.

Lisa said...

I think it's pretty safe to assume it's either True Blood or Vampire Diaries. There are other vampire shows, but none of them are popular.

My first guess was Nina, but I think Candice Accola (plays Caroline) is probably a better guess. For one thing, it fits the "A" clue. Also, Nina is the main character, so would she really need to sleep with the main guys to get more famous? I think a supporting cast member is more likely.

I'm not as familiar w/ True Blood, but I doubt it's ERW. It's too expected--I don't know if Ted would even bother making it blind. And if the cast is excluding the person from parties, that seems to imply it's a regular cast member, not just a guest star. Maybe Deborah Ann Woll?

Brittany said...

It kinda sounds like ERW up until the end. Also you would think Ted would have mentioned her engagement to Marilyn Manson.

Jane said...

Candice Accola! Beside the letter A clue, here's why- she used to date photographer Tyler Shields. He was the photographer when Candice and the other VD female stars were arrested for a photo shoot on a bridge. Perhaps she met him through the show? I bring up this point re sleeping with whoever makes her the most famous.

Re "rekindling her original two affairs" - she was recently caught making out with Steven McQueen: http://www.popsugar.com/Pictures-Vampire-Diaries-Stars-Candice-Accola-Steven-McQueen-Making-Out-8980454 maybe they previously got together?

Maybe Nina and Candice had a fling? Per various interviews, Nina moved in with Candice after the pilot, but now Nina rooms with Sara Canning.

Tara said...

What about Kat Graham (Bonnie) from VD? She is coming out with a CD, which is the popular way right now to get famous faster--by being a double or triple threat. And, Ted mentions her "crafty" ways, which can be interpreted as a clue (ie witchcraft).

As the sisters say, we can't overanalyze or put any faith into his AIAs as clues. Sometimes an AIA is just that.

ETV said...
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loveofmine said...

I think this might be Nina Dobrev of Vampire Diairies although the blind vice states that there are more than two other main characters which makes me lean towards True Blood. If it's True Blood it could be Evan Rachel Wood who was briefly linked to Alexander Skasgard and the female co star could be Anna Paquin

Caz1310 said...

Agree with all of you who suggested Nina from Vamp Diaries. Imagine she'd be wanting a higher profile than what she currently has. Is this show really succeesful? I only see Ian S in the media. Sistas what do you think of Ted's BVs of late - they're kinda below par...nothing new or juicy?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Could you please update me about Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev? Since he's confessed he's no longer with his long-term girlfriend and with crewmembers of the show suggesting that he may not be alone either don't all the rumors point to them as a couple?
—Carol

Dear CW Candooling:
Jeez, you Vampire Diaries fans are dying for this couple to happen. Well, I'll believe it when I see it. Actually, I probably still won't believe it."

cassandra said...

i actually think this might be somebody from true blood, i just stumbled on a solved blind about trueblood from buzzfoto from 2009 about two costars hooking up. heres the blind (i didnt want to post the link bc IDK if the admins want me linking to other BI sites, but I can if they want):

These cheating TV costars have been very sneaky in the past to keep their affair under wraps. One is married, one has a boyfriend, but now another costar, with connections to our source discovered their little secret rendezvous and told everyone else on set. No one is happy about it, because the cast really like this actor’s wife. No one from the Office.

SOLVED!

Jim Parrack from True Blood

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted;
My question is regarding Valyrie Tress-Trap. Are her two in-question castmates kept informed of Valyrie's conniving ways? Are they dumb enough to fall again for her "rekindling" of their affairs?
—Krissy

Dear Coffin Quickie:
Oh yes, Kriss, everyone is becoming aware of Val's bedroom behaviors. That's why neither of her conquests would come back for round two—well, on second thought, one might. What a dumbass, right?"

blurry vice said...

"http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b194690_nina_dobrev_nobody_sucks_on_vampire.html

The Spie said...

If this is Dobrev, that probably eliminates the Vampire Diaries cast from the pot-smoking stripper-club-attending group BV. We're going to need more clues on this one and the other BV in order to determine who's who.

Tara said...

I would say looking for someone who makes a cameo appearance in Vampires Suck or a short on FunnyOrDie.com is a good place to start. If we can find someone who has spoofed their show, that's a strong lead!

Tara said...

I am thinking this may be Evan Rachel Wood, and her bedded stars would be Alexander Skarsgard for sure and maybe Rutina Wesley (Tara).

The Spie said...

And let's also throw in the fact that ERW and Manson just broke up again. Wonder if that has anything to do with this?

confessionsxoxo said...

Late but one of the bedded stars is probably not Rutina Wesley cos she is happily married and is not one of the people who is focused on

Lux said...

Deffffinitely Evan Rachel Wood.

Anna Paquin has publicly come out as bisexual, so she could be one of the bedded stars, no? Then the second is Alexander Skarsgard, since his fling with Evan Rachel Wood has been widely reported.

I'd say Sookie and Erik are top names on a vampire show...

Aden's Family said...
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Aden's Family said...
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Aden's Family said...
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Sara said...

It is NOT ERW. First of all....she is not a regular cast member and only works on the show about 4 days out of the entire season.

Second...ERW did not need to cuddle up to anyone as she already has a film career. She's worked with Robert Redford, Kate Winslet, Edward Norton and Al Pacino.
I don't think she needs to sleep with Anna Paquin or Alexander Skarsgard!

teachergrl said...

I'd put my money on ERW before ND. The blind says 'at least two of the hot vamp show's beautiful leads.' On TVD, there are only 3 leads - 1 female and 2 male. Everyone else is a supporting character. Which also rules out ND for the clue about the subjects 'lovely female paramour, ' because that implies that one of the 'beautiful leads' she's bedded is a woman. And as I said above, Nina is the only female lead on TVD. Not to mention, Nina is AWAYS hanging out with Ian (way too much even), Paul, Candice, Matt, Katerina, Sara, etc. So, she's definitely not being left out of any plans and has no need to 'get back in their good graces.' My bet is that it's someone from TB but seeing as how I don't watch that show, I don't really have a guess other than ERW because of her reputation. It totally sounds like something she would do.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I love you, I do, but your misinformation about Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder is killing me and I finally had to write! It worries me that you really don't know the things you're telling us (but if that means you're also wrong about SkarsgÄrd, I'm in heaven). I have a friend that works on Vampire Diaries and they are so doing it. On the sly (sort of), since that means cheating, but doing it none the less. Truth.
—Princess

Dear Source War:
First off, babe, both the delish Diaries stars are single, so even if they were getting freaky between takes, it wouldn't be cheating. That said, not only does our on-set source work very (and I mean very) closely with these two in par-tick, but he parties with them, too. And they are not hooking up, sorry."

Michelle said...

My best guess for this one is Arielle Kebbel. Clues:

AIA's all start with A

She was in both True Blood and Vampire Diaries

spoof- she was in Vampires Suck

Other little word clues- cold fish-makes me think of Arielle in the Little Mermaid

master plans-this could be reaching but in TVD she and Damon are discussing his "master plan" and then he kills her.

I know Ted likes to comment on A listers but I think she really fits for this.

Tara said...

I think this is Nina, peeps! E Online has an article today on a Nina Dobrev/Vampire Diaries Funny or Die viral video. That's what everyone is doing right now (James VanDerBeek and Sam Trammell from TB have recently done them too), and no other parody video would get press like this one. Which means Buella Bland is Kat Graham or Candice Accola, if Nina is VTT. She sounds like a skank whore and all, but big ups for tappin' both the Salvatore brothers, that deserves a high five;)

Savannah said...

"Dear Ted:
My rescue kitty, Twilight, and I read your column every day, and love you dearly! We both have a guess on a B.V. that hasn't been mentioned in a while. Could Valyrie Tress-Trap be Evan Rachel Wood? I mean, she has gone through some weird phases where sex is involved (and so has her character on True Blood!). Not to mention she seems like the social-climber type who wouldn't care who she used to get herself to the top. If I'm wrong, will you at least give us an update on Miss Val? Twilight is just purring with excitement!
—V

Dear Luscious Guess:
Oh how close you are! Like so close. But Evan Rachel Wood ain't this B.V."

Savannah said...

"Dear Ted:
Any dirt on Nina Dobrev?
—Kasey

Dear Vampy Girl:
But of course! She may be in our Blind Vice section, but it's not a biggie, promise. I dig her."



Based on this, I think Valyrie is one of the Vampire Diaries supporting actors and Nina Dobrev is the "female paramour" Valyrie wronged... If Nina is gay, Ted's comments about highly doubting she's dating Ian make sense and why Ted says that she is "in the Blind Vice section" but doesn't say she has a blind vice (because she's mentioned but doesn't have her own moniker.)

Sam said...

I agree with Savannah... I think Nina is the one who was "wronged."
Paul Wesley is engaged/married and pretty much stays out of the set drama, so he's probably not one of the stars. The other two big stars are Nina and Ian.

I can totally see this being Kat Graham. She seems like a total fame whore who will do literally ANYTHING to be famous. She even kisses Perez Hilton's a**..

-As a previous poster mentioned, "crafty" = witchcraft
-He says toil. Why would he ever say toil if it wasn't a witch reference?
-She is also kind of the outcast of the show. They don't seem to hang out with her nearly as much as everyone else. This could be why.
-As Savannah said, Nina could be gay hence why Ted strongly denies a romance between her and Ian.
-"Paramour" could be a music reference? Since she thinks she's a singer?

Sam said...

That would also allow Nina to be Buella Bland, who really doesn't fit anyone else since it cleary says the three main stars (and it's been proven to be about the TVD cast). Not to mention Ted said today that her BV wasn't a big deal. This is a pretty big deal in BV world. Smoking weed? Not so much.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My rescue kitty, Twilight, and I read your column every day, and love you dearly! We both have a guess on a B.V. that hasn't been mentioned in a while. Could

Valyrie Tress-Trap be Evan Rachel Wood? I mean, she has gone through some weird phases where sex is involved (and so has her character on True Blood!). Not

to mention she seems like the social-climber type who wouldn't care who she used to get herself to the top. If I'm wrong, will you at least give us an update

on Miss Val? Twilight is just purring with excitement!
—V

Dear Luscious Guess:
Oh how close you are! Like so close. But Evan Rachel Wood ain't this B.V."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Any dirt on Nina Dobrev?
—Kasey

Dear Vampy Girl:
But of course! She may be in our Blind Vice section, but it's not a biggie, promise. I dig her."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do Valyrie Tress-Trap and Buella Bland know each other?
—Mary

Dear Sugar and Spice:
Hardly—though they do share one very crucial thing in common. But Buella's all boresville while Valyrie lives for a thrill."

HM said...

So if Nina is Buella this eliminates the TVD girls & my guess is Deborah Ann Woll. Her second name Ann is maybe a clue in the AIA's.

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