Monday, July 12, 2010

Bonus Blind! The Mayhems Keep It in the Family

New from Ted today...

All The Way AroundBonus Blind!  The Mayhems Keep It in the Family

It's no wonder Morgan Mayhem has such issues. True, we said we wouldn't talk about the notoriously troubled starlet until she got her act together, but curiosity about M.M.'s ways seemed to have peaked again with you readers, so here's the latest behind-the-scenes update (even though most of her secrets are fairly public right now).
It seems that Morgan isn't the only member of her family with issues right now, as if that's a surprise. Meet Misha Mayhem, a relative to one Miss Morgan...
It's not like Mish has made his or her way through the tabloids unscathed. No, this "star" (‘though it pains us to use that term) has had a fair share of press woes.
Considering the age gap between M and M, you would think Misha would know how to behave (after all, Morg is a walking example of how not to act in Hollywood). But when does anyone in this Industry ever do the right thing?
You can find sometimes Mish sneaking in the back of the clubs behind Morgan. Because a family that parties together stays together, right?
In usual Morgan fashion, the frowned-upon festivities hardly end there. If Misha decides to skip out on the preparty (you know, to avoid those "WTF Is Wrong With This Family" headlines) M.M. and M.M. will meet up late at night at their hills bash of choice and continue to blow it out.
Of course, superstealth cars drop Misha off because the paparazzi still usually catch Morg at these late-night shindigs. However, quite surprisingly Mish escapes unseen. You know, Morgan takes one for the team and goes out the front door while Misha sneaks out through underground garages. What a sweet, sweet gesture Morgy! Good thing too, because those bloodshot eyes could be a dead giveaway as to what the fam is really doing together.
One house in particular they like to hit up is Dougy Dry-Hump's local haunt of choice too. How small this effed-up town is, no?

And It Ain't: Bruce Jenner, Holly Montag, Angel McCord

See the label for "Morgan Mayhem" for the many other posts about her.  We strongly believe she is Lindsay Lohan. 
Therefore, the top guesses for Misha Mayhem = either Ali Lohan or Dina Lohan.


Brittany said...

It could also be her mom Dina.

blurry vice said...

The lil sis or the mom? My first instinct was Ali Lohan but I guess this could also be Dina.

blurry vice said...

Brittany - we were writing at the same time! I put Ali's picture on this for now... but yes could be either her or the mom.

The Spie said...

Oh, great, I just lost a long comment I was going to make here. Well, I'll try to resummarize my points:

I think it's Ali. White Oprah is a bigger publicity hound than LiLo is. The only way she'd play this game is if she thinks that Michael will use those against her in some way. The problem is that Michael has absolutely no credibility whatsoever.

This sounds like more like a protection move, because there's a bigger fear than Michael. If the paps catch Ali coming out of clubs looking like she's been indulging, that's a red flag for the po-pos. Everyone can get hauled in, including the club owners and White Oprah. So it's worth everyone's while to screen Ali from the paps.

One more point: remember a while back, Ted printed an e-mail regarding Ali from a reader who dubbed her "Mini Mayhem", and Ted almost violently refused to discuss her. Do you think Ted does have a minimum age limit for BVs, specifically sixteen? I think he might have known about Me-Me Dallas and Tobey Yum-Yum shortly after the incident, then sat on it.

Tara said...


C'Mon Ted! Give us something we can work with here! Though that sure would be a weird combination, to see MM and Matthew Fox at the same party?! So who is the hollywood slimeball throwing these parties (a BV vet himself)? Barker Kumesalot (totally Piven) or Joe Francis, the epitome of sleaze?

Oh, interesting tidbit--Mischa/Misha is russian for MICHAEL. Lindsay's brother is also named Michael after the famewhore father. Michael usually stays out of the spotlight compared to the rest of them, so he could go relatively unnoticed at parties and the like. I know the age gap is not significant (one year) but it is kind of a huge coincidence, or Ted purposely chose it to be obviously annoying and throw us off the White Oprah/underage trainwreck trail.

blurry vice said...

Spie - good points!

And here is the letter you are talking about, I found it in the comments for anothe rMorgan Mayhem post -

"Dear Ted:
Does Morgan Mayhem abuse drugs in front of her younger sibling, Mini Mayhem? And has Mini Mayhem ever starred (or guest-starred) in a Blind Vice?

Dear Nice Try:
Morgan's officially banned from this blolumn until she cleans her self-destructive butt up. Who's Mini Mayem? Sounds like some body part of Jeremy Piven, or something."

October 28, 2009

blurry vice said...

Tara - yes Ted says "his or her" so this could also be the brother. But from what I understand he stays out of the spotlight. But it could still be him I guess.

Tara said...

PS I totally agree with Spie, it's most likely Aliana.

Marie Lexingdale said...

I think it's Dina because of the age gap reference

Tara said...

I don't think it would be nearly as juicy if it were him as opposed to Ali, but it is an interesting coincidence......

Tara said...

I think the age gap thing could definitely still refer to Ali, as she is 7 years younger than LL and a minor. "Knowing better" given what has happened to MM could mean that Morgan is an example of exactly what NOT to do when you are young and famous, hence don't follow in your sister's footsteps if you want to live and be relevant to the actual working industry of hollywood for any period of time.

nini said...

"It's not like Mish has made his or her way through the tabloids unscathed. No, this "star" (‘though it pains us to use that term) has had a fair share of press woes."

The brother has never had bad press. I think it's Ali. She's been staying with Lindsay. Dina has been on the East Coast for awhile. Yuck.

Tite Ju said...

I think it is Dina. She should know better because she's a MOTHER and must protect her child, not encourage her bad behavior !

MM said...

It's gotta be Ali. No one would refer to LL's mom or brother as even a "star".

Caz1310 said...

I must have been living under a rock (or am not that interested in the Mayhems LOL) Why is Dina referred to as White Oprah?

blurry vice said...

That's true... the brother is not a star nor has had bad press. Gotta be either Ali or Dina.

Tara said...

I never really thought this could actually be Michael, I just brought up the Michael/Misha thing because I thought it was hinky. Just the way Ted likes it, huh?

Wouldn't it be crazy if it was actually Cody (not actually serious here)! The way this fam acts out, it is really hard to make the call.

Caz--Dina has referred to herself as the White Oprah, prompting everyone else to mockingly follow suit. With the exception of Perez, that is, who calls her Orange Oprah--much more fitting.

The Spie said...

Tara: I think the Misha name was one of Ted's best naming jobs in a long while. In case anyone was still doubting that Morgan was LiLo (or was new to the game), Misha being the Russian diminutive for Mikhail/Michael points the finger right to the Lohans. Plus, the name is evocative of another teenage train wreck, Mischa Barton. Kudos to Ted for this one.

Any chance we might see a new BV identity on Friday, or will he go for the Twyla Babe-Sucker blind he postponed?

Unknown said...

Caz1310 - I almost died laughing at your comment, because it occurred to me how ridiculous these people are!

Dina once said she wanted to do a show on television like a talk show because all her friends go to her for advice, that she is like a White Oprah. I have no idea how long ago this was, but it was a while ago.

Tara said...

Spie, I could not have summarized that better myself. Good call, naming without naming. Wish he would do that more often--some of his other names drive me nuts!

If he does Twyla, he better do it good. Didn't he say he is about to reveal her anyway due to her recent antics? If he doesn't do TBS, I'm hoping Taylor Swift will make her first starring BV appearance.

Anonymous said...

What about dougy dry hump? If that is Matthew fox, is he inviting Lindsay to his parties? I saw on another site that some people think dougy is Jeremy piven.

The Spie said...

Lauren: Piven is a much better guess for Barker Kumesalot. Knowing what we know about Piven, it would be a shock if Ted only made him a BV a month ago.

You also have to remember Ted's BV timing. If someone's in the news for something, he or she is more apt to have a BV about them in close proximity. LiLo is going to the pokey, hence another Morgan Mayhem blind. RPattz puts out his "allergic to vagina" remark, and we get another Nevis Divine piece. There are other examples of this that I've cited in other threads here. The proximity of the Dougy Dry-Hump blind to the ending of Lost gives credibility to it being Matthew Fox.

By the way, the blind doesn't say that the Lohans attend the same parties, just that one of the places they go is a frequent haunt of Dougy Dry-Hump. Given Ted's constant mentions of it in connection with the Lohans, it's probably the Chateau Marmont.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Morgan Mayhem friends with any other B.V. babes?

Dear Frenemies:
I wouldn't exactly say Morgs is supertight with anyone—except maybe Misha Mayhem. And that's part of M2's problem: No one is honest with the messed up megastar, so she never thinks she does a damn thing wrong."

oogieoogieful said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Lindsay Lohan is seeming more and more like a lost cause. Jail isn't rock bottom for this girl. Her career being reduced to nothing but tabloid fodder seems to be A-OK to her. Even Robert Shapiro ditched her, and he stood by O.J. It seems like no matter what happens, LiLo is content playing ostrich. It's heartbreaking that she is either unaware of the danger she's in, or she doesn't care. I contend that she be added to the ranks of They Who Shall Not Be Named. Reading about this trainwreck almost feels like enabling at this point, because her disasters are the only press she gets. I hope she gets healthy and well, but it just seems so hopeless.

Dear Only Time Will Tell:
I agree that Linds isn't totally into changing her ways just yet—c'mon, the newly jailed star is still denying responsibility for her actions—but maybe those broads in the Lynnwood lockdown will give her a dose of reality? Though, since it's rumored she'll only be spending 14 days in the slammer, I'm betting no."

"Dear Ted:
Who is more evil: Dina Lohan or Michael Lohan?

Dear Easy One:
Dina, by far."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I was just reading an article that said, now that Lindsay Lohan is gone, her assistant is living in a new fresh hell having to work for Dina and Ali. Why doesn't she just quit? I would think stars would be knocking down this girls door, i.e., if she can handle the Lohans she can handle anything.
—Amanda F.

Dear Hell in a Handbasket:
While it may be miserable to be at the beck and call of Dina—which it is, of course—there are definite perks to hanging with the Lohans. And I'm not just talking about free ice cream, even though that's ended."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After watching the Dina Lohan interview, my only thought was for Lindsay. If there is a fair universe, may she'll stay the full 90 days in rehab, and may the powers that be keep her family from visiting. How blind can you get? And how dumb do you think people are? Dina Lohan is beyond redemption. Here's hoping her daughter still has a chance.

Dear Dina-saur:
Can you just imagine Lindsay's potential if she didn't have these two a-holes as her parents? Well, I guess she'd technically not exist at all then, but you know what I mean. They're both just awful—obviously, Dina being more horrible. And you can just forget any notion about a fair universe right now."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Regarding Lindsay Lohan and her parents, can't her manager and her agent (or talent agency) rein them in and put a muzzle on both of them? There has to be at least one sane person who is looking out (albeit professionally) for her.

Dear Lo-handlers:
You would think that, right? But it appears that nobody close to the diva (or her family of diva drones) has the balls to take the initiative. Sounds very Michael Jackson-esque..."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After reading a recent Bitch-Back, I got to thinking about Lindsay Lohan, which led to thinking about Dina Lohan. Which leads me to the come we have never once seen Dina on a date, or in a relationship with a significant other? Did being with Michael Lohan sour her on men forever?

Dear All A-Lohan:
Because fame whoring, enabling your daughter, trying to mooch freebies and gabbing to any media outlet that will have you kind of limits any possible dating time."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
The people who hired and supported Lindsay Lohan for the Lovelace movie must be freaking out! The chances are, they might sue her for breaking her contract, have you seen all the money they had spent on promoting the movie, way before it started filming? Linds really messed up her second chance (or fifth, can't count them) at true movie stardom.

Dear True Story:
Yeah, L.L. has messed up one too many times. If the director and producers are smart they will be the ones to give her the boot. This girl has serious problems that aren't going to go away overnight, or even in the next few months. Shame, I really want Lindsay to come out on top but I'm slowly losing hope and quickly getting over the same old excuses."

"Dear Ted:
Lindsay Lohan has tested positive for cocaine and other illegal substances. Let us not waste time on her trashy mother and her own stupid lies, you know from where all the talk came out, let us concentrate on the idiotic judge and doctors who not only let her out early, and had even given more excuses for her actions. Lindsay Lohan isn't thumbing her nose at the "justice system," she is quite bluntly flipping us the big ol' bird. Straighten up and get help already!

Dear LiLo-Balled:
And we'll see how Judge Fox handles that bird on Friday. But isn't this whole ordeal starting to get just sad. Clearly no one around the babe has the balls to tell her she's out of control. But maybe this time the judge will finally realize that a couple of days in jail and an afternoon in rehab won't cut it."

"Dear Ted:
Why isn't Dennis Quaid helping his brother or any other family member?

Dear Tough Love:
Because sometimes letting your fam get through their own crap without getting involved (and subsequently turning it into a media circus) is the best way to help. Lohans, take note."

Anonymous said...

I mentioned this in another post, but reposting here with a link. There was an old BV from Feb 2006 where Ted mentioned Musty Mayhem (and LiLo), but it doesn't quite sound like Lindsay or any of the other Lohans. Is Musty a relation as well? Morgan Mayhem had already been established in May 2005.

nini said...

Yay I got my first BB question answered! He got my name wrong though :(

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What has Misha Mayhem been up to lately? Still partying? And does she party alone or only with Morgan?
—Nina B

Dear Nice Try:
Did I ever say Misha was a girl? Misha isn't in the scene as much as he or she once was, no. And that's a good thing!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
If two members of the same family had B.V.s, would you say so? Like if they were father and daughter or brothers, like Luke and Owen Wilson? (Not that I'm hinting at something. I have no idea whether they do or not). Or would it depend on the nature of the Vices? Besides the Mayhem clan, are there any others?

Dear All in the Family:
I guess if it had anything to do with the Vice, I would. Otherwise, there doesn't really seem to be a point, does there? Except to show which family tree is growing the Viciest dirt. The Mayhem fam is definitely toward the top of that list, though."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I thought that the new picture of Ali Lohan was a mistake at first, but I guess it's real. She has obviously altered her looks. It's heartbreaking. Dina

Lohan is the biggest loser and crappiest mother on the planet. That girl isn't even 18, is she? When I saw Lindsay's "new" look I was disturbed, but Ali is

way beyond the pale. I think there should be a new federal law against sucky mothers.
—Miss P

Dear Mommy Dearest:
You're telling me, babe. Isn't Dina just the worst? But while experts in nipping and tucking say otherwise, the Lohan family is sticking to its goss guns

that Ali is au naturel. But can you blame the wannabe model for being the talk of the tabloids? Her role models are all either drunk, insane or both."