Saturday, December 3, 2011

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

New BV from Ted Friday...

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?


Poor, poor Smokey Shooter. First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits, oh, no!
They were such a cute couple. But you'll either be really sad or really happy to hear Smokey's wasted no time in moving on from his ex lady-love. Only problem being his new love interests all seem to have the same two complaints about the good-lookin' actor with a fair amount of movie cred:

Actually, make that one and a half complaints, because some gals aren't so bothered by one of this dude's, uh, problems, as it were. Namely, that he's just too big. And we're not talkin' just the guy's ego, honeys.
Add to that sometime painful attribute the fact that Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women.
Result? Some gals pretend not to notice. Others scold Smokey with mock disbelief. Few are so upset they don't give Smokey another go. In fact, make that all.
Which is probably why Smokey's never seemed to really care about giving his women warning, once he finds himself on the verge of breaking wind.
OK, I understand why a lotta gals put up with crap like not lifting the toilet seat, but, why more babes don't give this babe grief for acting like he's in a Jim Carrey movie is beyond me.
Does size really matter that much?
And It Ain't: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio

Please use the label below to see our post on the previous Smokey Shooter BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashton Kutcher (however he is also a suspect for another BV, see label)

40 comments:

blurry vice said...

Ayayay... it's the other Ashton Kutcher BV... he is either Smokey Shooter or Pussy Gabor. See past BVs for both.

Dollie said...

I think Ashton is Pussy Gabor. This vice doesn't seem to fit. He's been married for a bit and hasn't had a "honey" since then.

Lyn said...

Could it be an unmarried couple that split recently? Ted never states that they're married, just a couple. What couple has an age difference, was not married, split recently, and the woman had "enough problems as it is"?

Emily said...

I'm guessing Kris Humphries. The title says "player" and he is an basketball player. Also, it says "First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits". This made me think about all of the endless commercials I've been seeing on E! about Kim and Kris fighting over having kids and where to live, etc in promos for Kourtney & Kim.

Thoughts?

Lyn said...

The first Smokey Shooter BV is from some time ago, way before Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries got together. Plus there's no huge age difference, which was also part of the first Blind...not to mention she's Top Suspect for Carmelita Salami- Climber.

sistah2 said...

I absolutely believe this is AK, definitely without question. easy.
As for him being Pussy Gabor as well, YES he is - because that fits them perfectly too, and I DO think Ted uses different names, especially since he did out Ashton as PG in a letter (see label) Once he reveals a BV, he can still write about a celeb cant he? And use a new name?

IB Girl said...

I don't think it's Ashton because Brittany Murphy intimated that he had "short comings" years ago.

Meggie said...

It has to be Ashton. It says something about one and a half reasons... Two and a half men anyone?

Rita said...

I also believe it's Ashton Kutcher.

People often misuse his ex's statement about the size of his penis. It was Ms. Murphy who stated something to the extent of "Demi must be ok with his penis size..." So people thought it was small, when actually, it might be quite proportionate to hands and feet. Look at them!

Hope everyone is over 18 on this site.

That being said, what other DOUCHEBAG, than Ashton "Dude where's my car" Kutcher, would think it funny to fart in bed, especially when you're in the beginning of a relationship, or during a one-night stand?

I mean, you know the honeymoon phase is over when your bf farts in bed. So imagine when a guy you hardly know lets a big one out right after sex?

Lila said...

I've long thought Smokey Shooter, and not Pussy Gabor, was Ashton. The clues fit better, almost perfectly. The clues for Pussy Gabor never added up for me -- OK, say what you want, but Ashton is not a Dad. The blind that called Pussy a Dad was in Oct 2006 - Ash and Demi had been married only a few months at that point, so the "Dad" comment doesn't wash. And, I've never gotten the impression that Ashton was pussy-whipped.

To look at who the real Pussy Gabor is, we need to look at the clues again, and at unsolved Vices that are Dads. Clue - Oct 2006, who was doing a movie that had them in another century, with period hair? Also note All of the AIA in the first Pussy blind are much older than Ashton.

I DO think the Pussy Gabor connection with Ashton in the bitch back question is because it concerns Kabbalah, but our suspect is wrong. I think Pussy Gabor and Mimi Kitten are Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith!!!

Rita said...

I forgot that my first guess for Smokey Shooter was Macaulay Culkin.

He's a good looking actor with a fair amount of movie cred.

He dated Mila Cunis for over 8 years. Maybe they were trying to procreate, and when that did not happen, well they moved on.

And the Jim Carey movie was most probably a hint to comedy. Remember Home Alone? And like Jim, Macaulay did do serious films, but never got the same recognition as for his comedy.

He may be on the petite side, but he's probably packing!

Anyways, just a guess to get out of the Ashton Kutcher rut.

pomme said...

no idea i don't see Ashton K "too big"

Violet451 said...

Ted is in quite the mood lately, isn't he?? I really hope he is following his own rules. I know in the past we have suspected that he isn't. This would be so dirty of him if both of these BVs are Ashton! He does seem to be a perfect fit for both though. We need to bombard him with some questions.

Rita said...

@Violet - he said not long ago that there are no rules... I think when someone asked if monikers he assigns have anything in common with the actual star blind vicer.

So all bets are off.

BlahBlahBlah said...

i am sure i read a comment before where Ted basically outed AK as pussy gabor. Someone asked directly if it was him and Demi and Ted said something like 'closer than I can admit.' if this is the case then its basically a reveal and he is ellegible for a new name, not sure if the timeline adds up tho...i personally think he is both

Heather said...

Today there is a story up on E! about Ashton and Lea Michelle were getting cozy on the red carpet and her date to the event was her gay best friend, whom basically remained unnoticed while Lea spent a lot of time with Ashton. I really think this shows that Ashton might be Smokey Shooter.

Rita said...

@Heather - If you look at all carpet movie premieres where Ashton is starring, and posing with his movie lady love, he's looking at them the same way. Remember that movie with Amanda Peet (can't remember the name...)? Look at the red carpet premiere: people thought he was banging her too.

Maybe he does bang all his co-stars, but nothing special about his relationship with Lea Michele.

Although she must have LOVED the attention. I may be biased though, for I really can't stand her and still don't see where he talent lies. On the screen that is, I'm quite sure she's just fine on Broadway.

medusa said...

@Lila, isn't Pussy Gabor's wife Shar-Shar Max, not Mimi Kitten?

I'm not so sure about Ashton for Smokey, though. Describing him as an "actor with a fair amount of movie cred" ignores all of his TV stuff, which is where he started, and is currently. Although I like to think "Shooter" is a hint for his role as spokesman for those cameras, I still refuse to believe that blabby woman in the hot tub wouldn't have mentioned either his size or his issues with breaking wind!

kelthefoxxxx said...

No way this is Ashton - he does not have movie cred! If you look at the "and it aint's" - they are actor's with real movie cred. What about Ryan Gosling? he split from Mcadams a long way back (I thin they tried living together, aka domestic bliss) and the new lady Eva Mendes?

Rita said...

Could this be the dude who plays Leonard on The Big Bang Theory? Johnny Galecki.

He was dating his co-star seriously for a long time, the girl that plays Penny, and Ted had stated clearly not long ago that one cast member Big Bang is a BV, and that it's the one we think it is.

Violet451 said...

@Rita-a lot of people think that Kaley Cuoco (Penny) is Coco Crackhead. When I read Ted's response, I thought of her. That doesn't rule out Johnny though. But they were not out as a couple until after they broke up so I don't think anyone would have known about them at the time the original blind was written. Still I like the out of the box thinking, since I think Ashton is Pussy Gabor and not this one :)

Rita said...

Thanks Violet. But actually, fans of the show knew they were dating right from the start (am a geek, watch the show, sue me!) And were living together for a while...

Will see if Ted answers...

Violet451 said...

Longtime fan of the show myself, Rita, and I didn't know :) Not until she gave the interview that mentioned it. I've been known to be behind the times, though.

I sent Ted a question asking him to compare Mimi Kitten and Shar-Shar Max and he didn't answer it. Would have loved to get some clues on them.

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rita said...

The thing is, I don't think Ted would call, or ever called, Ashton and Demi a "cute couple".

Johnny Galecki has been in a fairly amount of movies, namely Hancock and Time Out. His Imdb Filmography is quite impressive.

In the first blind, Ted says that there is an age difference, He's born in 1975, Kaley Cuoco is born in 1985. In the first AIAs, two of the males were musicians (Billy Joel and John Mayer), apparently Johnny plays base.

And like the females in the AIAs, Calista Flockhart and Jennifer Aniston, Kaley got recognition because of a long-time TV show: 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter.

SonR said...

Ted said that Smokey shooter was the younger on in the couple
as for the shooter/camera i don't think so. i think smokey shooter refers to the infertility due to the drugs

Mrs. Gonzalez said...

If smoky shooter is Ashton Kutcher, wouldn't Brad Pitt be a good suspect for Pussy. Ted is always hinting how Angelina runs the show and there is a significant age difference bewteen Brad and Angie.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Could you please confirm that Smokey Shooter and Pussy Gabor are not the same celeb Vicer? It seems like everyone is guessing Ashton Kutcher for both, but we

seasoned Vice sleuths know he can't have more than one name. Please give a refresher for the newbies!
—Lisa

Dear Vice 101:
You are right, my dear, celebs only have one Vice, so no dice on guessing that Ashton is both. Sorry to all the newbies."

blurry vice said...

Mrs Gonzalez - NO, because Angelina was already given a BV name before Shar Shar Max appeared recently.

sistah2 said...

Jeez! I am glad Ted answered that one directly!
I really believed both were AK.
Well, at least one is....

pikespeak said...

I don't think this is Ashton, but I think we're warm.

Liz said...

So is Ashton Pussy Gabor or Smokey Shooter? I just can't think of anyone who could be Smokey other than Ashton.

mookie said...

Ashton is Smokey Shooter.

Pussy Gabor sounds like Antonio Banderas

Liz said...

Maybe ask Ted if PG is American? HOw can PG be Antonio Banderas - aren't he and Melanie Griffith still together? I'm pretty sure Ted says that PUssy Gabor and Shar Shar Max have split.

BROOKE said...

I don't think this is Ashton. I don't think Brittany Murphy would of said what she did if she meant he was large, it just doesn't make sense. I mean there is a video of her on YouTube and she is being asked about Ashton & Demi and she said " I guess age doesn't matter to him and size doesn't matter to her. " She did say she was kidding, but if he was as large as this article indicates then I don't see her saying what she said, even as a joke.

BROOKE said...

http://daviddust.blogspot.com/2009/12/brittany-murphy-discusses-ashton-and.html


Above is a link to a weep page that has the video of Brittany talking about Ashtonand Demi in which she insinuates he is small.

Liz said...

Ted did a new BV today about a drugged out diva - he referenced Mimi Kitten, implying that Mimi also has drug problems. I think this confirms that Mimi Kitten is Demi Moore and Smokey is Ashton. We need to look to someone else for Pussy Gabor.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I love how you unapologetically called Veronica out for her inappropriate ways. Nobody believed her "I'm so pure" story anyway, but I love you for confirming

our suspicions. So my question for you today is about a Vice that I've been curious about for a while. How is Smokey Shooter doing these days? Any drama

between him and his lady? If he is who I think he is, then I only wish the best for him and his lady, but I'm also thinking if they break up, it frees him up

to be my future husband! Love to you and everyone in Team Truth!
—Jackie

Dear Love Ya Right Back:
You're in luck. No chance in hell (I think) Smokey and his gal are going to last. So, more of the lonely Shooter for you to pounce on, my dear!"

Angela said...

Tony Parker (and Mimi Kitten was Eva Longoria). The "Shooter" refers to him being a basketball player.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Do Smokey Shooter and Portia Vajazzle know each other? If my hunch is correct, I'd love to see these two get together for a little more than work! Hottest. Babies.

Ever. Love you lots Teddy Bear!
—Jackie

Dear It's a Small World:
They do know each other, babe. Hollywood is a little town, after all. But what makes you think that Portia has stepped in to replace Mimi Kitten? Sure, the baby

business between those two led to some, uh, let's just say stress, but Portia is so not into the baby business."

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