Friday, August 19, 2011

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice! Lovey-Dovey Couple About to Call it Quits!


Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.
But at least she'll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn't know, she's practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.
Well, while Carm thinks she's in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell...
‘Cause her man is fed up with her BS.
See, Carol's guy actually really loves her. Like, over the moon love. Adorable, right?
We don't see much true love in the Vice vault.
And while Carol says she totally hearts her dude right back, she can't seem to stop her very flirtatious ways. Ya know, like when she brings her guy to swanky T-town shindigs and spends the whole night letting strangers paw at her very enviable assets. All while her poor schmuck of a partner watches on.
Well enough is enough, and Carol Anne's man pulled her aside at a recent party for what he thought was a private conversation.
Unfortch, Carol got all dramatic (per usual) and made a scene. Now everyone's watching to see if the formerly so-happy couple busts up.
And we wouldn't be surprised if they split, like, tomorrow. It's getting that bad.
And It Ain't: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston

Update as of 1/27/12 Ted has eliminated: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston, Jada Pinkett-Smith, any couple with children, Naya Rivera, Blake Lively, Kristin Cavallari

Top suspects: Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom

102 comments:

blurry vice said...

Khloe Kardashian? Cut from same cloth as Kim... has a partner who loves her. Kourtney would fit but Scott is kinda not as loving as Lamar.

blurry vice said...

Just read a comment under E for Kris and Bruce Jenner. Didn't think of them but could be.

LMS130 said...

I just posted Kris and Bruce in the Carmelita Blind. Based on the few episodes of their show that I've watched, this is totally Kris's behavior.

Leanne said...

Definitely a member of the Kardashian Clan!

Rita said...

The 'Cut from the juicy pig' notion also made me think of Kris, the mother. But what stopped me is the practically besties notion.

We all know the Kardashians are each other's best friends, there is no almost, they have no other friends... They wouldn't share what they consider their rightful spotlight anyways.

So what if the pig is E! What if it was Ryan Seacrest's gf doing the flirting. You know, that chick from DWTS.

What if her getting pawed is actually dancing. Dirty dancing, at parties, shows, some dancing looks flirty, while the dancers are only having fun. It's because of the AIAs that I'm having trouble thinking of a Kardashian. And quite honestly, I don't find the need to watch their show to follow the story lines. The one with Scott is bullied and pitied. The one married to Lamar is scary. No one would dare lay a finger on her... And quite honestly, she doesn't strike me as the flirty kind, more like the hit them with a very direct stare kind. But I may be wrong, for like I said, I don't watch the show... or any of their shows.

With the AIAs referring to Seacrest's gf:

Jessica Alba - played Honey, a dancer
Lindsay Lohan - played a stripper
Jennifer Aniston - played a beard for quite some time!

What do you think?

LMS130 said...

People on the E boards are saying LaLa Vasquez and Carmeollo Anthony. LaLa and Kim are best friends apparently? That's news to me, but after looking her up I see they have a few similarities...both star in reality shows and are marrying/married to NBA players. Plus she wears scandalous clothes out that would def lead to getting pawed by men. Seems like a solid contender.

Miss Faye said...

I thought of LaLa Vasquez when I read this blind. She is the only celebrity friend that I know of that Kim has. They have similar "juicy" figures, reality shows and athlete husbands.

If not her I was gonna say Khloe, but I don't know enough about them to judge if they are "besties".

Cathy said...

I say Lala too.It can't be Kourtney, becuase Scott is anything but the doting boyfriend. And it can't be Khloe, because she does not have "very enviable assets." I also think that if it were any Kardashian, Ted wouldn't say they could split tomorrow, because he knows they don't want to take any attention from Kim's wedding. If it were one of them, he'd say that they will split, but only when the time is right, because they all need to cash in on the happy family wedding photos first.

LMS130 said...

The more i read this, the more I'm feeling that this is Kris & Bruce Jenner. Ted would easily have access to this information through E connections. For all we know, the conversation might have even been recorded while taping! The fact that he says it might happen soon, like tomorrow, makes me think he wants to out-scoop them.

The comment about her man really loving her is what makes me think its them. K&B have been a family for 15-20 years and its clear that Bruce loves her and the kids like his own. Its been a common story line through their show that Kris is fame hungry and ignores Bruce at parties and at home. She even considered changing her name back to Kardashian! Maybe it wasn't all acting for the show.

I know the wording makes it sound like a hot young thing, but maybe the enviable "assets" are her kids.

Cecilia00 said...

Yeah, I'll go with Kris & Bruce too.

Man, Ted is P.O.ed about not being invited to the wedding! HA!

DeeLo said...

Newbie here...going out on a limb. Any thoughts about Brittny Gastineau? Kim K and BG were/are BFFs. BG is a model hence the enviable assets. Ted's post to me makes is sound like CASS isn't married to her "dude" but I may be reading too much into it.

KaDixonLaw said...

My first instinct was Lala and Carmelo for this one. I remember that Kim was photographed at Lala's bachelorette party a few years back and I believe Kim may have even been her maid of honor. In addition, I think that the "...cut from the same juicy pig" comment may have been a very mean-spirited jab at the famed KK rear-end. I believe Lala has a similar physique.

Cecilia00 said...

Ted said this morning that Carmelita and Carol Anne are NOT related and probably haven't even met.

That not's every Kardashian and Lala.

Rita said...

ou guys are right: This may be La La Anthony. Here she is mentioned in the NY Post today for being Kim's best friend, and present at her wedding:
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/celeb_lock_at_kim_wedding_OGahX1lVFgCZ8C6e1MypAK?utm_campaign=Post10&utm_source=Post10Alpha

Tinnie said...

I think that the fact that both names start with a "C" in the blind is very telling. It must be a Kardashian, and probably Kris. It doesn't sound like Kourtney or Khloe.

LMS130 said...

@Cecilia - The question this morning was about Alter Ego-Salami, not Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher. All these meat names are getting confusing!

Cecilia00 said...

LMS - oops...so true. LOL
My bad.

medusa said...

So clearly the AIAs aren't supposed to be likely guesses, because why would Lindsay Lohan even be possible in this scenario? When did she ever have a guy that was in "over the moon love" with her? Not to mention, she's currently not in a lovey-dovey relationship. So, I assume the AIA mention is because of something else that connects her to teh blind. I don't know LaLa but the similarity to "LiLo" seems to work.

Jackie said...

What about Kendra and her hubby who Nicola at The Gossip Wrap Up suggests? The same juicy pig is reality TV and I can totally imagine her letting other men paw her very enviable assets

Miss Faye said...

But are they "besties"?

Miss Faye said...

I mean Kim and Kendra of course.

Kimstyle said...

Lala

LMS130 said...

Today's BB seems to confirm that we are looking for a reality-tv couple. Ted says the guy is "not an actor, per se". Sounds like someone who's on tv, but not a scripted actor. Also says he handsome and definitely recognizable. I'm still thinking its Bruce Jenner and Kris. Bruce is famous in his own right from the Olympics and was known for being handsome (although not so much anymore).

Unknown said...

I'm still sticking with the Lala guess. They are BFFs and LaLa has had a couple of reality shows that feature her and Carmelo, i.e. LaLa's Full Court Wedding & LaLa's Full Court Life (or something similar). Carmelo is high profile and if I must say so myself, quite handsome for a youngster:)

country_muppet said...

What about Ice-T and Coco? Both are on the E Network and both CoCo and KK have "enviable assets"

Miss Faye said...

Looks to me like they are "practically besties" as this article suggests. Also, Lala always talks up Carmelo in public (just as Ted suggests) that's why it would be shocking if she were actually flirting with other dudes openly.

Kim and LaLa's Best Friendship Moment
http://globalgrind.com/entertainment/La-la-anthony-kim-kardashian-wedding-kris-humphries-carmelo-wedding-photos

Lala and Carmelo have also been together a long time, around 10 years if I'm not mistaken so that's also why people would be surprised.

Rita said...

Will and Jada Smith just announced their split. I'm pretty sure that Jada is not a friend of Kim's... maybe I am mistaken. For Will has also been a BV superstar.

Wonder if Will and Jada were the superstar couple Lucinda Jones-Smyth (Jada Pinkett-Smith) and Cubby Asparagus?

Miss Faye said...

They just released a statement saying their marriage is "intact". I have a hard time seeing what they would break up over. Especially since they reportedly have an open marriage and have repeatedly said divorce is "not an option" for them.

I'm gonna go look at Lucinda and Cubby now though just for fun.

Rita said...

Wow! So In Touch got a story out without verification, and every other blogger on the internet rolled with it... I guess In Touch lost a lot of credibility today - not that they had much to begin with. But obviously, this means their gossip is less credible then the other magazines' out there.

Miss Faye said...

TMZ's reporting Will and Jada are having significant problems and aren't living together so maybe In Touch isn't all wrong. They're also saying Jada and Marc Anthony might have been hooking up (what do people see in Marc Anthony?)

Rita said...

yuck on both people. Jada scares me. Anchovy is just plain ol' disgusting. Maybe they're better off together.

However, seeing how Will has been confirmed to be a bv for a while (he's in the bv superstar hall of fame), I'm guessing that whatever agreement he has with Jada is being compromised.

It's always the situation with arranged Hollywood marriages: remember Eva Langoria and Parker? They had an open marriage, she got 'hurt' when he fell in love with one of his outside of wedlock bed mates. Open marriages have no more lasting timeline than traditional ones, it's all about the work you put into it, not how many other people you add to your marriage bed. They all always come to an end.

BABYWOMAN said...

My only guess and I bet I am right is Khloe. I am completely convinced this time I got it correct!

Cathy said...

BABYWOMAN - I don't think this is Khloe. Ted says that Carmelita has "VERY enviable assets," which Khloe really doesn't.

Rita said...

@Cathy, Carmelita is Kim, this post is about Carol Anne... I think we're getting the posts mixed up. Too much going on right now :)

BabyWoman, what makes you say this Kim's sister?

blurry vice said...

I do NO think Bruce Jenner is handsome, nor do I think Ted does. I think this is Khloe and Lamar.

For those that are guessing someone named Lala, remember Ted only writes BVs about people that he writes about in his column.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
If you had to give a letter to the listness (i.e. A-list, B-list, etc.) of Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher's man which would it be, or is he not even an actor?
—Bastiaan

Dear Snatched Suckah:
He's not an actor, per se, doll. Unless you count the brave face he puts on when he pretends there's no beef between his babe and him. That said, he's got a

pretty recognizable name—I'm sure you've heard of him, B, and recognize his handsome mug.

Dear Ted:
I saw the video of "the wedding," and in every shot that I saw, the groom looked like a bewildered high school kid. Kim Kardashian, on the other hand, looked

like a sophisticated savvy woman. Can this really last? I wish them well after all the hoopla dies down...or will it ever?
—Pat

Dear Honeymoon Phase:
It could. I get what you're saying, P, and I agree that Kris doesn't really seem into the whole H'wood scene (at least not the same way Kim is). But just

look at her sis Khloé and bro-in-law Lamar, who've made it work despite naysayers. Those Kardashian broads are determined.

Dear Ted:
So, I'm not one to guess on Blind Vices, but seeing the rumors about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith splitting has got me thinking. Could she be the Carol

Anne Sausage-Snatcher you speak of?
—First Time B.V. Guesser

Dear Headed for the Door:
While the clues certainly seem to fit, Jada is definitely not our be-yotchy Blind Vicer Carol Anne. Even tho we hear that there's something going on between

the A-list superstars, JPS and Will don't have half the drama that C.A. and her man do. Will and his wifey are much more willing to compromise."

blurry vice said...

Rita - we think it is Kim's relative because Ted says that she is "cut from the same cloth" as carmelita salami climber.

Cathy said...

@Rita - sorry, it's been a crazy week. I meant to say that Ted mentioned Carol Anne's "VERY enviable assets," which does not fit for Khloe.

Blurry - I really don't think that being "cut from the same juicy pig" necessarily means they're relatives. I think it likely means that Carol Anne also has a reality show on E! or one of the other networks owned by E!'s parent company (GE) such as Bravo. She's been on many reality shows, such as "La La's Full Court Wedding" and even hosted "For the Love of Ray J" starring you guessed it, the guy who made Kim Kardashian famous.

Miss Faye said...

That's what I was thinking too, Cathy. Also, Khloe doesn't have enviable assets so to speak. And Ted says her man has a "handsome mug". Lamar isn't handsome. He just looks like an average man to me. Carmello Anthony, however, has several fan clubs filled with women (he looks better to me with his hair short).

KaDixonLaw said...

I'm on board with Cathy and Miss Faye. Ted says that this person is Carmelita's BFF. I am ridiculously close to both of my sisters, but they are my sisters. My friends are just friends. Big distinction for me. Lala may not be tabloid fodder, but I suspect that Ted was hell-bent on attacking Kim from every angle--friends included.

Rita said...

KDL - However, Kim doesn't seem to have real friends. Her sisters ARE her only friends. Other people are used in order to benefit the show story lines. It could still be Kloe... Although I don't think she fits the description... Or Ted has a screwed up view of what is a sexy, desirable woman..? Sorry, that was mean.

KaDixonLaw said...

Rita - it does seem that Kim has few friends; however, she and Lala seem to have been just that for years. In fact, I googled the two of them and stumbled on an article titled: "Lala Vasquez Dished on all Kim Kardashian's Juicy Wedding Details." Here is the link:

http://fashionbzaar.net/US/2011/08/23/lala-vasquez-dishes-on-all-kim-kardashians-juicy-wedding-details/

KaDixonLaw said...

And then here is a second article from E! Online which specifically refers to Lala and Kim as "BFFs:"

http://www.eonline.com/news/kim_kardashian_on_hand_bff_lala/189777

Rita said...

Anything older?

I agree that this could be Lala, however, I do not disagree with the fact that it could also be Kim's sister. From what I know, Kim's sisters are more real friends to Kim, then say Lala who is there for the camera, i.e. self promotion, or for the E! obvious scripted Kardashian show.

Given a choice between Kloe and Lala, I would pick Lala, specially in regards to the looks and flirtatious ways. Kloe would scare anyone with her flirting.

KaDixonLaw said...

Yeah, I forgot to mention that the E! article is from Lala's wedding in 2010.

EV said...

My 1st hunch on this one has always been LaLa and not Khloe. I still think she's a better fit. I thought it was pretty common knowledge she was besties with Kim.

Cathy said...

I really don't think it's Khloe... I know that Blurry feels it is and that's why she's listed as the only top suspect, but it just doesn't seem to be the general consensus...

LMS130 said...

I also don't think the top suspect is Khloe. I always thought K&O's marriage was partly for the show and not entirely based on love. Carol Anne has "true love" with her man which makes me think it's a relationship that started before the reality show came into the picture. I'm still betting on Kris and Bruce, with Lala and Carmello as second.

Leens said...

I'm a vote for LaLa and Carmelo. LaLa is known to be one of Kim's only close friends. Don't think it's in the Kardashian fam.

PrincessTiff said...

We need to figure out how long this couple has been together and/or if they have any kids. Too lazy to look it up, but I'm pretty sure Lala does.

Cathy said...

I think Ted confirmed that this is NOT Khloe today in his Longshot Love Story Photo Gallery when he said they're still going strong:

The youngest 'Dash sister met her basketball prince and within days were engaged. Sounds bizarre? Then within a month married! Even more bizarre! The world was betting against them but this slam dunkin' duo is still going strong. We might be a little biased, but we see match made in reality TV-producer heaven lasting!

Jenn88 said...

Maybe I'm going out on a really far limb here, but Brody Jenner's blind vice name was Dorrell Sausage. Sausage = Jenner. Therefore, Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is a "Jenner Snatcher". I definitely think this could be about Kris and Bruce Jenner. She doesn't seem to appreciate Bruce at all in the show, and is always more concerned about egotistical material things. Remember the episode where she hired a hot young personal trainer? I'm sure the show doesn't depict reality, but it's possible. On an interview that the Kardashians did with Conan, they mentioned how Kourtney and Khloe were best friends whereas Kim and Kris were always together and best friends. Who said the people related to you can't be your best friends? I vote for Kris and Bruce...

Cathy said...

Jenn88 - Wow! I had totally forgotten about Brody's BV. That makes me think that Kris could be a good guess for this one. Maybe someone could get Ted to answer if there's any relation between Carole Anne Sausage-Snatcher and Dorrell Sausage?

Cecilia00 said...

Today Ted confirmed Kris Jenner does not have a vice - but a couple of her kids do. I'll change my answer & go with Khloe here.

Rita said...

@Cathy - regarding that same 'Against All Odds Love Stories', Ted posted my comment guessing that only 3 couples out of the 14, including Wallis Simpson, are NOT Blind Vice Stars. I Had counted Wallis, William & Kate, Jen Aniston & Norman.

His answer was that he only counted 2.

The odds are Khloé and Odom are part of the gang who ARE Blind Vice stars.

Cathy said...

Rita - first of all, I would love it if the sisters made an entire post devoted to that gallery and your question, just so that we could fully dissect it. His answer brings up so many questions!

As much as that answer, along with his answer today that a couple of Kris' kids have had BV's would point to this one being Khloe, I just can't get fully on board with that, mostly because of the line about her "VERY enviable assets." Any chance that he could be referring to Kim and Brody (one of her stepkids and a known BV'er), even though she didn't technically "pop him out?"

KaDixonLaw said...

Once again, Cathy, I agree. The evidence is mounting that this is Khloe and Lamar; however, Ted's reference to this person being almost BFF's with Kim has me hung up. I just think that it's an incredibly odd way to refer to one's sister. The "enviable assets" comment just adds further doubt on my part.

I sent a question in yesterday to try to get Ted to nail down whether Khloe has a blind but I haven't had much luck in the past with that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though. : )

Rita said...

Kathy - that was my first thought too about Brody, but literally, Kris Jenner did not pop out a Brody Jenner... His name would've been Krody:)

I too don't see this blind as Khloé, maybe it's the other sister with the douchebag who looks a lot like Christian Bale in American Psycho (which was playing yesterday on the Movie Network!)

That being said, remember Ted's description of Kim's blind? As being a non-fan of anything Kardashian, I would NEVER in a million years perceive Kim in a such an alluring light. Which is why I believe Ted thinks Khloé has very enviable assets... which in a way she does per Hollywood standards, although again, she scares the shit out of me: very long legs and big breasts.

Rita said...

Also, Cathy, I've asked the sisters if we can start a post based on the new 'Against All Odds Love Stories' gallery. With Ted's answer, we can confirm each of the couples their bv moniker and debate which 2 DO NOT HAVE a bv moniker. Let's see what happens.

Cathy said...

The other thing we need to consider is how slippery Ted is when he talke about someone being a BV'er... you'd think that means that they're the start of a BV and therefore have their own moniker, but sometimes it just means they've been a supporting player (like Jen Anniston). Could one of the other K sisters be the source that he mentions in the latest Carmelita blind, and that's why he counts more than one?

marine said...

to Cathy, interesting you mention that...did anyone see the preview for the wedding special? Khloe basically said everything the "source" had said about carmelita's man...he's using her for the fame, etc. I thought of the vice immediately so maybe Khloe is simply the source vs carol-anne herself.

Cathy said...

marine - before the whole jen anniston issue, i would have said that was too far-fetched - that saying someone has a bv means that they have a moniker. but ted had confirmed jen as not ever having a vice for years and then one day suddenly said that lisa kudrow was the only friend without a vice. So it seems that he was counting jen's un-monikered supporting role in other bv's (probably mayer's) as having a bv.

i think that the only way we can figure out if carol-anne is supposed to be khloe is if we get ted to answer if she's related (by blood or marriage) to dorrell sausage. since she's brody's step-sister, if he says yes, we can know it's her and if he says no, we can assume it's lala.

Cathy said...

Also, I know it's a stretch, but could Rob Kardashian be Paulie Pecker? I know it says he's an actor, but we all know that show is scripted... if so, that could be a second Kardashian vicer that Kris popped out. The description of him not making the tabloids as much as his co-stars seems to fit and I could totally picture him doing this...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
There's nothing better on cool mornings than warm coffee and scrolling through Blind Vices. My second cup of vanilla biscotti got me thinking, does Kris

Jenner have a Blind Vice?
—KJ

Dear Momager:
Nope. But she's popped out a few Vice stars."

"Dear Ted:
Loved your Against All Odds love stories gallery. When flipping through the pictures I suddenly realized, most of these couples are all-time A.T. Blind

Vicers, so I'm starting a new game. True or false, out of the 14 pictures, including the inspiration for the gallery, only three are not Blind Vicers. They

are, of course, King Edward III and Ms. Simpson, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Jennifer Aniston. Am I close, cold or hot?
—Rita

(link http://www.eonline.com/photos/gallery.jsp?galleryUUID=3722)

Dear Close:
Actually, the correct answer is two."

Rita said...

So does Ted's answer mean that only King Edward & Wallis Simpson, and Duke & Duchesse of Cambridge don't have BV monikers?

Well, this confirms that Khloé Kardashian is a BV star. Whether it's Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher or another. Will have to check the list again for when was the last time someone asked if she was a BV and Ted answered no. I think it was only last spring.

Cathy said...

Rita - not so fast; there are two other Kardashian siblings besides Kim and Khloe. I really wonder if Rob could be the guy that porked a girl in a hotel lobby.

Rita said...

Cathy - could be, must read that blind again.

But I was talking about the 'Against All Odds' gallery. If Ted says he only counted two out of these couples who do not have BV monikers, including the subject of the gallery, Wallis Simpson and King Edward III, that leaves only one other couple out. Chances are, Khloé and Lamar have monikers, and most likely this one fits.

As for the other Kardashians, we must check time lines again. Someone thought Cass Simulatia was another Kardashian as well, but I think Ted had already notted all Kardashians at that time. Must confirm again.

Cathy said...

Rita - You're right, but if William is a vice, then it's possible (though not likely) that Khloe and Lamar could be the second couple without a vice... this is why we need a thread devoted to that gallery to discuss all the possibilities.

Rita said...

Blurry has said that she added a link in the "Our list of BV reveals, etc." I've checked quickly but did not see it. Will check again. See her post in the Kim Kardashian blind... I think.

However the situation, am gonna start in that link (Our list of BV reveals, etc.) posting on the gallery and trying to match couples to their BV monikers. See you there... a bit later in the day. Gotta work!

KaDixonLaw said...

I'm wondering if anyone read Ted's BB answer to the Kourtney Kardashian question from 9/19 the same way that I did. It seems like he's confirming that only one of the Kardashian sisters have a moniker:

"...I'm sure she's very in the know about her sister's Vice. So now it's up to you: can you guess which sis has earned herself a moniker?"

Kim seems like a lock for Carmelita Salami-Climber, which means this one can't be Khloe. Did anyone else read that the same way?

Rita said...

I thought he was talking about the other sister, the one who's not married. Have to look that up again. For that had confirmed to me that this Carol Anne is indeed Khloe. Will re-read the whole thing.

KaDixonLaw said...

@Rita - He was answering a question about Kourtney (the unmarried sister) having a vice. He seemed to be saying that Kourtney doesn't have a moniker but she knew all about her sister's vice. Singular. At least, that's how I read it. He made no mention of the brother, though. I think that's really interesting considering Cathy's theory that the brother could be Paulie Pecker.

Also, if that is what he meant it has a big impact on the "Against All Odds" couples.

Cathy said...

@KaDixonLaw - I read it the same way that you did, meaning that only one Kardashian sister has a vice. But if Kris has popped out more than one, then Rob must have one. When I went through the timeline for vices between when Ted said that a Kardashian didn't have one and when he said they did, Paulie Pecker was the closest I could find for something that could fit for Rob. The only thing that's off is that he refers to Paulie as an actor, but maybe that's just Ted's way of revealing that the show really is scripted? Here's the vice:

Blind Vice! TV Actor Gets Hump Happy in Hotel Lobby!
Paulie Pecker certainly doesn't get as much attention as the other folks on his funny boob-tube series. Which is a skanky shame, ‘cause while they all land the big-time tabloid covers for their incredibly Vice-lite behavior, Paulie's out there committing some hilariously horny crap.
Take, for instance, P.P.'s latest escapade at a swanky Hollywood hotel, where he had taken a broad he was hoping to bed. Paulie wasn't just DTF tho, he was also...
Hammered drunk.
Which isn't too shocking, actually—we know Paulie and his pals can booze with the best of ‘em—but P2 seemed to be sporting extra-thick beer goggles on this par-tick night.
An onlooker described Pecker's cougarific "date" as mucho older and just as plastered as Paulie, with what little clothes she was wearing already coming off when the twosome popped into the lobby.
Unfortch, the hotel was all booked up. Paulie pulled the usual "do you know who I am?" B.S. and then tried slipping some cash to the staff, but he and his lady friend were still denied a room. The drunk duo finally gave up, but while they waited for a cab to come collect them, decided they just couldn't control themselves any longer.
Yep, they started going at it right there in the lobby.
The hotel workers and a few other guests checking in were not so pleasantly surprised to see Paulie's gal straddle him as the two started making out and pulling each other's clothes off. Body parts, lots of ‘em, were exposed.
He shoved his face in her boobs for some motorboat action and she shoved her hand down his pants and things were really heating up as the clothes came off. Which is when Paulie's hump buddy decided that they should slip away to the bathroom to finish the deed.
Cue the hotel staff, who kindly told Paulie and his pal they needed to hit the road. Which they did.
And It Ain't: John Krasinski, Ty Burrell, Rob Lowe

Maybe we could get Ted to answer a question about if any of this season's DWTS contestants have any vices?

Leens said...

Well, well, well...if this doesn't say it all, I don't know what does:

Dear Ted:
I've been thinking for so long which Kardashian could have a Blind Vice and though I have a feeling it's Kim, is there any chance that Khloé Kardashian is Cass Stimulatia?
—Jenny

Dear Keeping Up With the Vices:
Nope, K is not Cass. But who says Kim and Khlo can't both have a Vice?

KaDixonLaw said...

Today Ted says that Kim and Khloe may both have a Vice. But two days ago it was a singular sister?

What is going on with Ted...?! This is frustrating!

@Cathy - Agreed. When I read the Paulie Pecker blind now, I can totally see the brother doing that! I need to go back and read the comments to see who the top suspects were at the time.

Cathy said...

Ted is totally messing with us on purpose. I know that one of the sisters will post this later, but compare these two q&a's:

Dear Ted:
Kourtney Kardashian is my favorite of the sisters. How cute is her son, Mason? She is more under the radar than her sisters. Any Vices stashed in her fashionable closet?
—LuLu
Dear Mama Drama:
I'm positive of it. But none that I've made official. And remember, Kourtney's talked openly about her sexuality in the past—not a Vice-type behavior, really. Also, I'm sure she's very in the know about her sister's Vice. So now it's up to you: can you guess which sis has earned herself a moniker?

Dear Ted:
I've been thinking for so long which Kardashian could have a Blind Vice and though I have a feeling it's Kim, is there any chance that Khloé Kardashian is Cass Stimulatia?
—Jenny
Dear Keeping Up With the Vices:
Nope, K is not Cass. But who says Kim and Khlo can't both have a Vice?

KaDixonLaw said...

Yep!! He absolutely contradicted himself. I sent in a question this afternoon asking him to clarify, but with my track record I'm not counting on an answer. I need some of that Rita or LMS magic. ; )

Cathy said...

Also, I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but his wording is off. Technically, if Kim and Khloe each have their own, it should have been worded, "But who says Kim and Khlo can't EACH have a Vice?" The way he worded it implies that they both share a single vice... but maybe that's just the grammar snob in me coming out.

Rita said...

Hello Cathy and KaDixon!

I've read both answers from Ted, and if you couple it with the other answers he had given specifically in regards to the Kardashians (not in regards to the BV monikers), to me, it is quite clear that only Khloé and Kim are BV superstars. Not Kourtney, and up to now, for me the way I've read it, not necessarily the brother... What's his name? At least, not as clearly confirmed as for the sisters.

This is good, because for a long time Ted has been very protective of the Kardashians, and before him not getting invited to Kim's wedding, he never clearly answered if any of the Kardashians has a BV moniker. In the past 2 months, he had given more positive answers then ever before in regards to Kris (the mother) spawning a few blind vicers, and Kourtney being very much in the know about one of her sisters blinds, but has no moniker of her own.

BUT, not to get too 'Conspiracy Theories' on you guys, there are certain hints if you read different bloggers, combined with Ted's Blind Vices, that Khloe had definitely questioned Kris Humphries' sexuality, as well as his decision as to why he is marrying her sister (notoriety, popularity, exposure. Duh). My question is, are Ted's blinds about Kim and Khloe a simple part of a plan that has been hashed out to have Kim marry, then divorce/or annul her marriage from Kris H. on the basis of him being gay?

Again, maybe I'm reading too much into it, and going off on conspiracy theories, BUT: everyone knows the marriage is not real, everyone knows that the K shows are carefully scripted 'reality', that most important plot lines, are actually exactly that: plotted lines? And given the fact that when you sign on to such a 'reality' show, you clearly agree that the producers of the show are allowed to misuse, edit, and re-arrange whatever was filmed to suite their purposes and plotted plans for the future of the show?

Which leads me to wonder if Ted's blinds are actually part of the Kardashian reality show scripted drama?

Nah, too diabolic.

Still think that in light of all answers pertaining to the Kardashians on the Bitch Backs, at least Khloe and Kim are confirmed BV stars.

Cathy said...

I personally think that Kim is for sure Carmelita, but I'm just not convinced that Khloe is Carol-Ann. He's never actually said that two of them have starred in their own vices, so I'm wondering if maybe Khloe was just the source he mentioned in the latest Carmelita blind - that would make it so that only one "sis" has a moniker, but they "both have a vice," making both of his seemingly contradictory answers true.

KaDixonLaw said...

Hello to you too, Rita! : )

I occasionally have reservations about the identity of some of these BV stars and this is definitely one of those instances. I am just having the hardest time buying Khloe for this one. Rita, I completely agree with you that Kim's relationship is all for show. I've always thought the same about Khloe's marriage, though. That said, it wouldn't be a shock at all if Khloe and Lamar were to separate. At the very minimum, Ted seems to want to us to think this one is Khloe.

Finally, Cathy, I LOVE your theory that Khloe is the "source" behind the latest Carmelita blind. It fits Ted's style to be seemingly contradictory in his answers by using a loophole like that (e.g. Jen Aniston). It would also make a lot of sense for Khloe to leak the story since she has made it clear that she has strong reservations about Kim's relationship. I guess we should continue to hammer Ted with Kardashian questions while he's still on the warpath. Strike while the iron's hot!!

blurry vice said...

9/19 - Dear Ted:
Kourtney Kardashian is my favorite of the sisters. How cute is her son, Mason? She is more under the radar than her sisters. Any Vices stashed in her

fashionable closet?
—LuLu

Dear Mama Drama:
I'm positive of it. But none that I've made official. And remember, Kourtney's talked openly about her sexuality in the past—not a Vice-type behavior,

really. Also, I'm sure she's very in the know about her sister's Vice. So now it's up to you: can you guess which sis has earned herself a moniker?

9/22 -Dear Ted:
I've been thinking for so long which Kardashian could have a Blind Vice and though I have a feeling it's Kim, is there any chance that Khloé Kardashian is

Cass Stimulatia?
—Jenny

Dear Keeping Up With the Vices:
Nope, K is not Cass. But who says Kim and Khlo can't both have a Vice?

Cathy said...

Thanks,KaDixon! Before the whole Jen A. thing, I never would have thought Ted would be so misleading, but after that all bets were off when it came to what it means to "have" a blind vice.

Leens said...

In this mornings bitch-back, someone asks about Carol-Anne's "husband" and he didn't correct her and say that Carol Anne and her man aren't married. He also said they don't have kids YET, which is a good thing. Still makes me think this is Khloe:

Dear Ted:
Loved your latest article on canine killer extraordinaire, Michael Vick! Yes, he did his time, but that doesn't mean that animal lovers everywhere have to forget his crimes against those innocent pooches. Speaking of the voiceless innocent, I was wondering: Are there any children involved in the sad state of affairs between Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher and her fed-up hubby?
—Kdix


Dear Voiceless Vice:
No, not at this point, I'm happy to say.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/morning_bitch-back_rpattz_having/266346#ixzz1ZFyKqPCq

KaDixonLaw said...

@Leens - That was me! My very first answer from Ted... what a rush! : )

Anyway, I'm officially abandoning my LaLa and Carmelo guess (they have at least one kid). While I still have the same reservations about Khloe for this one, I do think that they way Ted worded his answer points towards her. I think she's been pretty open about wanting to start a family ASAP.

Rita said...

KaDixon - Congrats!

I thought it was someone from this blog asking the question, this definitely eliminates the Lala guess. Personally, this highlights my belief that Lala and Kim and BFFs for the cameras and to comply with a written story line. And also, that Kim's only true friends are her sisters.

I'm still then with Khloe and Lamar for this blind!

Cathy said...

Rita, I have to disagree with you about Kim's only friends being her sisters. If you watch an episode of the show, her non-Kardashian friends are rarely shown (with the exception of Jonathon, who I'm sure is trying to pimp his PR company). Khloe and Kourtney are much closer to each other and while no one says it, it's pretty obvious that she pretty much treats the whole family like shit that's beneath her. And that's not "for show" since the whole premise of the show is how they are such a close, tight-knit family.

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rita said...

Cathy - I stand corrected. Never pretended to watch the show, and won't start now.

Am only guessing based on the different TV 'news' programs, as well as different bloggers' take on the family.

If Sausage-Snatcher is not Khloé, based on my last post to Ted regarding 'The Against All Odds' couples gallery, which blind then is Khloe's?

And which one of Kim's friends fits the Carol-Anne Sausage-Snatcher?

KaDixonLaw said...

Thanks Rita! : )

The only other close KK friend I can think of is Ciara. I found an article from earlier this month about how the three of them (Kim, LaLa and Ciara) attended one of Serena Williams' tennis matches, complete with photo:

http://www.livetennisguide.com/2011/09/09/kim-kardashian-affirms-serena-williams-will-win-2011-us-open-crown/

However, I really don't think this fits Ciara. Kim may have other friends, but I don't watch any of the Kardashian shows so I really don't know who they might be. I only know what I see during the promo commercials and from reading E! Online and People. I can't imagine who else this could be, if not Khloe; but, boy, is Ted getting loose with his descriptors, or what? Enviable assets? Practically best friends? Oh well.

Cathy said...

Rita - in my defense, I only started watching the show because someone I knew was on it several seasons ago and after that, I just kinda got sucked in. It's too late for me, but you should run; save yourself!!! :)

KaDixon - I meant to say congrats! Ted has yet to answer any of my questions, despite rescue doggie lead-ins.

The only other close (famous) friend that I can think of for Kim is Prince's ex-wife - I forget her name, but she's the one that had a baby with him that died a week after he was born in the late 1990's. I don't think she's in any high-profile relationships right now (though she was engaged to Tommy Lee once), so I don't think she fits.

I agree that if this is Khloe, Ted has gotten very misleading with his descriptions. The only enviable asset that girl has is her diamond ring and I doubt guys would be pawing at that. If Ted's just gonna make stuff like that up, it takes away all the fun in solving his blinds :(

Rita said...

I believe from Ted's point of view, that Khloé is truly the one with the most enviable assets: she's had no boob or butt job, unlike her sisters, and from what I see, the most she's done to her face is possibly a nose job. Right?

Keeping in mind that the camera adds 10 Lbs, this means that Khloé is actually at a very healthy weight, not striving anymore to be 'camera skinny' but more embracing of her Amazonian stature; Unlike her sisters. And don't forget, the 'in-your-face' attitude that Ted seems to love so much. Khloé has it.

So, of all the Kardashians, if Ted prefers/admires more the gutsy Khloé, even though he felt shafted for not being invited to Kim's wedding, his blind on Khloé would be most dithyrambic, no matter his now obvious dislike of the rest of the family.

Am I making a point on my Khloé vote?

KaDixonLaw said...

Thanks Cathy! My hubby thought I had lost it when I started jumping up and down with excitement. LOL!

Rita, you do make a good point re: Khloe. With or without the 10lbs the camera adds, she owns it. I do love that about her. I don't think she looks enviable, but she does look great!

I was thinking about this last night and the only other thing that bothers me about this blind is that siblings are supposed to share last names according to Ted's rules. Here, we have Carmelita Salami-Climber and Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher. I suppose salami and sausage are related in that they are both pork products, but that's a far cry from the Mayhem siblings, et al. Obviously, though, this one has to be Khloe. I just wish Ted would stick to his rules. It's hard enough to keep things straight without him throwing out names like Lloyd Boy-Toyed/Lloyd Boy-Toy and giving siblings differing last names. Rant over. ; )

Rita said...

KaDixonLaw - I absolutely agree with you regarding Ted's disregard for his own set rules. I think he should be challenged in writing them down somewhere. Of course, they could not be applied to past BVs, for it's a mess, but he and his team should stick to those rules going onward.

Let's hit him with too much persistence!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Loved your latest article on canine killer extraordinaire, Michael Vick! Yes, he did his time, but that doesn't mean that animal lovers everywhere have to

forget his crimes against those innocent pooches. Speaking of the voiceless innocent, I was wondering: Are there any children involved in the sad state of

affairs between Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher and her fed-up hubby?
—Kdix

Dear Voiceless Vice:
No, not at this point, I'm happy to say."

Leens said...

Congrats kadixon!! I'm thinking they could be sibs with different last names bc khloe's last name is now odom? I just thought since the first names both began with C in the blinds it would be the equivalent to 2 K's and differing last names bc of marriage.

Cathy said...

This is seeming more and more like it must be Khloe, but it just doesn't seem totally right.

Here's one last-ditch effort to peg it on someone else. Could it possibly be Avril Lavigne? Kim is friends with her and as Brody's gf, it would kinda make sense for part of the last name to be the same as his monikered last name, even though they're not married. I agree that it's highly unlikely, but it's just one other alternative...

Rita said...

Cathy - Questions and answers regarding this blind make me belieive that Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is married. Not just seriously dating, for example, when people ask about her hubby, and if they have kids, he denies the kids, but not correcting the guesser about the marriage status. Here's one (KaDixon's question!):

Dear Ted:
Loved your latest article on canine killer extraordinaire, Michael Vick! Yes, he did his time, but that doesn't mean that animal lovers everywhere have to forget his crimes against those innocent pooches. Speaking of the voiceless innocent, I was wondering: Are there any children involved in the sad state of affairs between Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher and her fed-up hubby?
—Kdix

Dear Voiceless Vice:
No, not at this point, I'm happy to say.


This could eliminate any that are not married, but who also have children. So no Avril.

But hey, I could be overreaching!

Cathy said...

Good point, Rita - like I said, it was a last-ditch effort on my part!

Rita said...

Cathy - There, there, pat-pat on the back, good job, pat-pat on the back, you really did give it your all! :)

Cathy said...

Thanks, Rita. I really did give it my all :)

KaDixonLaw said...

Did you guys see Ted's BB from this weekend re: Carmelita's relationship getting "scarily serious?" Very strange.

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