Friday, August 12, 2011

Blind Vice: Carmelita's Real Friends Say Dump the Dude!

New BV from Ted today, a repeat offender...

Blind Vice: Carmelita's Real Friends Say Dump the Dude!


Gorgeous, charming, curvy Carmelita Salami-Climber isn't a chick you'd normally feel sorry for. Jealousy is usually what one feels when watching Carmelita on the boob tube and reading about her in one of those endless fashion articles that are churned out about the babe.
But lately, Carm's very few close pals (she has thousands of acquaintances) are telling her to run from her man before...
They end up marrying!
Kim Kardashian: Fit In Your Jeans by Friday: Ultimate Butt Body SculptSee, Ms. Salami-Climber's buds are dead certain they've got this latest BF of Carm's pegged: That he's (a) more interested in the fame that comes from dating Carmelita than actually dating Carmelita, (b) definitely interested in the money that will be generated by continuing to be glued to Carmelita's side and (c) suspicious, sexually.
Uh, that last category is more of a hunch than anything specifically observed—but Carm's close GFs are a bit shocked at how anxious her guy is to join their regular gossip sessions.
I know straight men gossip and all, but, man, usually with each other, right, not other gals?
Regardless, the point is Salami-Climber's tight bunch is doing its damndest to talk Carm out of spending the rest of her life with her man—which is what she's telling them all she wants to do.  And trust, Carmelita's well-meaning amigas are not holding back. They really don't think the dude's the one for her, and they're blasting this message to her as fiercely as they can.
But so far, Carmelita isn't having it. He is her prince, as far as she's concerned.
(Regardless if the prince might want another prince.)
And It Ain't: Selena Gomez, Mila Kunis, Cameron Diaz

Please refer to the label below for a link to the previous CSC BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Kim Kardashian

72 comments:

blurry vice said...

Out of our top suspects for the last Carmelita BV, Kim Kardashian is the one girl who fits with both BVs. Her fiance seems to fit this description, and her wedding plans are making top news for some reason.

Rita said...

I agree Blurry, this one confirms that Carmelita is indeed Kim K. No hiding, manipulating, or whatever else. This truly is Kim Kardashian.

Second, he's bluntly hinting that Humphries is gay. That he only wants to marry Kim for her fame, and the money that might come his way because of it. Really? Because of course E! Network and the Kardashians have been pushing this wedding down our throats because of True Love? gag me with a spoon.

But fun still that Ted is sending his own message to Kim on his thoughts on Humphries.

Poor Humphries, imagine if he doesn't know yet, but his wedding will be crashed by a former gay lover... this would be interesting tv! Wonder if that's what E! is preparing for us.

Poor Humphries either way.

Cecilia00 said...

@Rita - it comes off as blatant homophobia to me on the part of Kim's "friends".

I mean, their assertion that he might be gay comes from *gasp* the fact that he like to girl talk?!?! THAT is their evidence?!

*shakes head*

Rita said...

Cecilia: I perceive the whole blind as a bit of dredging up viewers' attention for the up-coming nuptials. Kim K. is Ted's colleague, and E!'s bread and butter.

They are going to try their best to come up with any type of gossip to peak our interest in tuning in for the nuptials... Whether they actually happen or not.

The saddest part of it all, Chris Humphries (or is it Kris?), unlike Reggie, does not go to strippers' bars all the time, and lets women fawn all over him, for photo ops. He may find it distasteful and disrespectful for his fiancée, others might call it gay.

Who knows. I'm one of those who doesn't follow the show, nor intends to. So let them pitch in any story they like. It's not like any of us believe it's true love for these two!

Brandon said...

I was surprised by this. I'll have to check youtube to see if Kris Humphries sounds gay at all to me. Any word on his ethnicity? The boards argue whether he is predominantly, partly or not all African-American. Wikipedia sheds no light. My guess: White mom, mixed dad.

Meri said...

He's definitely referring to Kim K. Whether or not it's true, I don't know because I don't follow the show or the Kardashians enough to know. But given that E! has been comparing Kim and Kris to Prince William and Kate (which frankly is revolting to me, but what can you do)... and in the blind he refers to Carmelita's prince... that just seals the deal for me.

Who knows if it's true, but it's definitely Kim K to my way of thinking. Sad, either way.

Rita said...

Funny though how Carmelita's first blind describes her as whoring for shoes. SHOES!!! in front of an audience!

Meri - I've seen that as well. But why would E! allow Ted to incorporate drama in their own spin on a fairy-tale wedding, for Ted has to ALWAYS go through E!'s legal department before posting anything on his blolumn, unless they really want drama before the wedding, or during.

I really dislike this. Ted receives a lot of Kardashian hate mail. Most Awful Truth readers dislike passionately anything Kardashian. No matter how hard the Network tries, or Ted does his polls, Kim and the rest just don't come up on top.

They've invested a lot, obviously they will try anything to make the show work.

BTW, does Kim have friends other then her sisters? Does that mean that if we believe this blind to be true, her SISTERS don't want her to get married, and they think that her bf/future husband is gay? It would be hilarious if Reggie is getting back in the picture. It would certainly make for better story telling.

I wish it all to go away. I want good TV back on my screen!

andiecandie said...

I know some people here also follow CDAN & back on the 4th when he was revealing a bunch of blinds I clearly remember him revealing one about how much Kris is in love with Kim and would do anything for her. Trying to find it now!

"Which celebrity has basically signed his life away because he is in love. The thing is he has agreed to have himself portrayed however the Executive Producer wants him portrayed in a reality show. Whatever it takes for ratings. Oh, and if the ratings do not improve, then he will be saying goodbye very soon. One more thing. He is getting paid scale. The minimum. Hardly anything. Tip money at the places she makes him go.

Kris Humphries"

Don't know which to believe! Ted I think is more reliable but he has had his screw ups when he says someone is 100% not this later to find out they are...

Maybe this is even a gimmick to do "whatever it takes for ratings" & Ted is basically giving away this blind for people to watch the show? Thoughts??

Rita said...

That's what I've been saying. It doesn't bake sense, unless it's to peak interest in the upcoming 'wedding'. It seems that ratings are way down and no one is watching. E! has invested too much in the Kardashians to let this one die without a fight. Come on, comparing the Kardashians to actual royalty?

buttermama said...

I don't know you guys. I think it might be Jessica Simpson.

botanicaldiva said...

At first glance I was thinking Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest but upon closer reading I think Kim and Kris are a better choice... "more interested in the fame that comes from dating Carmelita than actually dating Carmelita" does not sound like Ryan as arguably he is much more famouse than Julianne. My vote is for Kim and Kris

Rita said...

Buttermama, I believe Jessica was confirmed to have a moniker before the first Carmelita blind came out. She was an oldie. During the time her and Nick Lachey were still together.

allie said...

I never thought Kim k and Kris were really getting married, she keeps the ex in all her tabloid stories and it all is starting to look like a made up story line, IE:Kim, runaway bride! goes back to ex Reggie!" Kim making up a reality storyline and living it is more believable than her getting married.

Leens said...

Wow:

It's already turning out to be one of the most secretive weddings in history!

And Kim Kardashian and her fiancé, Kris Humphries, are sparing no detective details. Guests, as you may have heard, could be going through metal detectors, while Blackberries and similar devices will be banned.

But gifts are so welcome! However, Kim may not be getting one:
As you probably already discovered in this week's Truth, Lies & Ted, my invite was lost in the mail!

Whatever, it's not like I wanted to go anyways. I'll just watch the twosome say "I do" with Charlie and Margo when it airs on E! in October.

But since I already splurged in Kimmy's glitzy gift (and it's clearly non-returnable), it seems like a waste to leave it sitting around until the next Kardashian wedding.
Instead, the fabulous Swarovski crystal-studded oven mitt might as well go to one of your loyal readers.

So I'm spilling some top, top secret deets about Kim's big day.

Not because I'm bitter about having my tux dry-cleaned, but because I know you're all dying to know more about the fashionista's designer plans. And while the wedding dress design is under lock and key, I know something equally delish:

The color of the bridesmaids' dresses!

But I'm not spilling the bridal shower beans that easily. So the first one to Tweet me the correct color of Kimmy's bridal party's fabulous frocks—and why she picked that par-tick color—wins the blinged-out oven mitt!

Better get to guessing, the contest ends 72 hours before the bride ties the knot: Wednesday at 6 p.m.!

Rita said...

WOW. What the hell?

Leens - Good thing you posted this, for I never read anything about the Kardashians that is posted on E! or the AT!!!

So that is why the new Blind on Carmelita.

Not only Ted is outing her for whoring for shoes, but he is bluntly telling the world why he is not invited to her wedding.

Could it be true that Kris H. is gay? Would it be why Ted is not invited to the nuptials?

War withing the ranks, is always juicy and let's all secrets get out.

Time to write Ted about Kim and Carmelita.

Thank you Leens, would've never read this if you haven't posted on this blog!

Leens said...

You're welcome, Rita! The only reason I got a hold of this is because I follow Ted on Twitter. Now we know Kim is definitely Carmelita and Ted is coming out swinging! Just wondering if his invitation got "lost" before or after the blind item was posted. And this is really a statement the Kardashians are making, considering they sent out over 1000 invites. Wonder if Ted will change his tune about the Kardashians now. Wonder how E feels about him talking like this?

p.s. these lavish over the top gifts are sickening. This family should have asked for donations to charity in lieu of all these gifts--things they probably already have. Gross.

Rita said...

Class was never a Kardashian's forte. Also, they may have sent over a 1000 invitations, how many though of the A-list invited will be present? If the nuptials ever take place.

How many of these gifts are going to end up on eBay, you know, to help with that credit card debacle, the one that is suing the Kardashians for breaking their part of the deal for $70 million.

Leens said...

Nice to see your note on this blind published in bitch-back, Rita!

Rita said...

Thank you!

But what does he mean I'm usually so on the ball..? Does that mean that he doesn't give a fig that he hasn't been invited... Or I'm wrong not to care for the Kardashians...?

Obviously this confirms that one of the Kardashians is a blind item. Most clearly, following yesterday's BBs where someone guessed the newly engaged Heather Locklear for Carmelita, Ted's answer leads me more to believe that Kim Kardashian is indeed this blind.

kelly said...

Don't forget the issue with Prince kicking her off stage for not dancing. There are several prince references in this BV.

Leens said...

At least one Kardashian means there is definitely more than 1 making appearances in the BV column. I'm very much convinced this one is Kim, just because the other BV about Carmelita so describes her as well. There really isn't another reality star on TV right now that would fit this bill. Not sure what Ted meant about you usually being so on the ball...but I bet that means you guess a lot of the BV's correctly overall!

Cathy said...

Let's also remember that Ted stated on 5/19/10, 10/4/10 and 11/8/10 that no Kardashian had been a BV, but then just this week he said that at least one has. This means that at least one Kardashian was in a BV between November 9, 2010 and now. The first Carmelita blind came out in January 2011, so that would fit. This is definitely Kim.

Also, Leens, I don't think that at least one automatically means more than one in Ted Speak. He just likes to keep things vague like that.

Cathy said...

Also, Rita - I think what Ted meant when he said that you're usually on the ball means that he disagrees about your feelings on the Kardashians. Sure, they might be famous as a result of Kim's tape, but he has said time and time again that the people in that family do work a lot more than almost any other reality stars. While they might be shallow and fake, they do run a lot of businesses, such as DASH and also wrote a book. While it might be damning with faint praise, that's a a hell of a lot more than Paris or any of those Jersey Shore people do.

Cathy said...

Okay - here's a list of all the BV's between November 8, 2010 and now:

Hildago Van Buren - out, multitalented star, can't be a Kardashian
Slurpa Pop-Off & Morgan Mayhem - first appeared long before November 2010, can't be a Kardashian
Cruella St. Shackles & Marky Sweet-Puss - ditto
Lucinda Jones-Smythe & Cubby Asparagus - Khloe is the only married Kardashian and she isn't in movies
Possum Santana - in movies, can't be a Kardashian
Debbie Doobie - been in "a slew" of movies and TV shows, can't be a Kardashian
Paulie Pecker - from a comedy show, not a reality, could only by a far stretch be Rob Kardashian.
Lord Tripp Unzipped - married male, can't be a Kardashian
Anita Sunshine - talk show host, can't be a Kardashian
King Schlong - A List movie actor, can't be a Kardashian
Sally Pearlsmyth & Percy DuBois - it says that Sally is an actress, so unless Ted's admitting that Keeping Up with the Kardashian's is staged, this can't be any of them.
Crotch-Uh-Lastic - first appeared long before November 2010, can't be a Kardashian
Shafterella Shoshstein - ditto
Greta Gatby & Taller Baller - pretty much revealed to be Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cutler
Barry Wanger Banger - comedian, can't be a Kardashian
Rick Danger-Zip & Sunny Sweet Cheeks - unlikely a Kardashian, because Sunny is described as "multi-talented"... she did record that song though...
Super-Duper Cooper - first appeared long before November 2010
Sovereign Stein-Moongle - doesn't live in the US, can't be a Kardashian
Shellack Attack - Kim was an AIA, Kourtney's bf isn't A-list and Khloe is married, can't be a Kardashian
Duke of Schlongsbury - British, can't be a Kardashian
Pokie McPillster - I'm pretty sure none of the K family were at Coachella
Sheila Horn E. - described as multi-talent, so I'm pretty sure this can't be a Kardashian
Cookie Muncher - the only married K sister is Khloe and she DOES NOT have a flawless bod
Priscilla Dessert - made her debut before November 2010
Jerry Rock-Butt, Chutney Jones & Kiki Doheny - JRB & Chutney first appeared before November 2010 and Kiki just wouldn't fit for any of them
Strippa Rip-Ya - first appeared before November 2010
She-Devil Dees - Kim is an AIA and she was the only single sister at the time
Lucretia Johnson - blonde, can't be a Kardashian
Fey Oiled-Tush - first appeared long before November 2010
Vicky Vamp-Void - implied that she's recently divorced, can't be a Kardashian
Dick Wadd - oscar nominated, can't be a Kardashian
Nelly Fang - made his debut before November 2010
Kirkland Dogmatic & Teddy Big-Treat - Kirkland is part of a movie franchise and Teddy is out, can't be a Kardashian
Chiquita - first appeared before November 2010
Carmelita Salami-Climber - ding ding ding, we have a winner!
Butter Pussy - first appeared before November 2010
Sheila Yabos - "has such talent" - please tell me this isn't a Kardashian!
Me-Me Dallas - a minor, first appeared before November 2010
Veronica Bee-Stings - actress, can't be a Kardashian
Coco Crack-Head - has recently become bone-thin, can't be a Kardashian
Brock Rock-Buns - actor, can't be a Kardashian
Jackie Bouffant - first appeared before November 2010
Fernando Tinkle-Treat - can't be a Kardashian, since Rob doesn't have a serious "ball and chain"
Prince Horebart Hairplug - multi-talented, can't be a Kardashian
Chester Shorts-Off & Secretia Ohio - first appeared long before November 2010
Toothy Tile - appeared long before November 2010
Altar-Ego Salami - was recently married or engaged, Khloe had been married for over a year at that point.

Ms. Big said...

Ted said that A Kardashian has been subject of a blind, that doesnt necessarily mean that it is KIM. In fact the wording of this blind, and the way that Ted always likes to hide the ball, makes me believe that this might be about a Kardashian but not the Kardashian everyone is thinking of. This blind would me more appropriate if it were in reference to Kourtney and Scott.

LMS130 said...

Wow Cathy, nice work listing all those names! Makes me realize how many recent blinds we still need to solve.

Ted pretty much confirmed this is a Kardashian today with his new BV:

"Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift."

Same juicy pig sounds like a semi-insulting way to say same family. I love it! Anyway, so I'd say this is Kim for sure, and Carol is likely Kris/Bruce Jenner or Khloe/Lamar.

Cathy said...

@Ms. Big - I realize that any Kardashian could have been a subject of a BV, which is why my list above includes all the male ones as well, since they do have a brother.

That being said, if CS-C is a Kardashian, it has to be Kim. This blind says that Carmelita isn't a chick you'd normally feel sorry for... plenty of people feel sorry for Kourtney, because of the shit Scott puts her through. Also, the previous blind about her talks about how she dates famous people, which Kourtney also does not do.

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rita said...

Ms. Big - I could agree with the your guess as well. But if you read again the first Salami blind. Read it carefully. Now after re-reading the second, do you still think is Kourtney?

It's because of the two blinds put together, and Kim's association with the shoes, that this one confirms that it is indeed Kim Kardashian.

Also, the Sisters are to update the Bitch Backs soon. In one of them posted earlier in guessing Carmelita's ID, someone guessed Heather Locklear after it was announced that she is engaged, and Ted's answer leads to guess that Carmelita's nuptials are pending.

Are Kourtney's? Or haven't been reports for a while that Scott is dragging his feet?

Ross Family Five said...

Hey Rita, et al;
Just wanted you all to know I have been following along and loving all the speculation. I just emailed Ted to ask if CS-C and Alter Ego Salami are related...just out of curiosity. Not sure a yes or no will help us with this blind, but at least, if he decides to answer we might get a yay or a nay! Thanks Cathy for doing the timeline which we used to rely on The Spie to do...haven't seen him on here in a while...~RossFam5 (cinnamongirl99)

Rita said...

Welcome Ross Family!

Hope Ted answers your question about any relation between Carmelita & Carol Anne.

You know, these 2 must be related somehow: one is a 'Salami-Climber', and the other is 'Sausage-Snatcher'. Ted is hilarious! Wonder is there is ever a blind for the Karkashian brother (whatever his name might be, his moniker MUST end with 'Hot-dog-muncher'.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Lea Michele's Blind Vice name Carmelita Salami-Climber? Who wouldn't be jealous of that talent, and her boyfriend has always seemed a little bit on the

metro side to me. I think the clues all fit. Am I right, Ted?
—Katie

Dear Deli Diva:
Sure, the clues may fit, but Lea is not our dubious Blind Vice, darling. Carmelita's looks are more envy-worthy than her showbiz skill set. Plus, CS-C is

getting much more serious, much more quickly with her respective guy than Lea is with her spit-swappin' stud. But you sure get spunky credit!

Dear Ted:
Carmelita Salami-Climber has to be Heather Locklear, right? She just got engaged and all the clues seem to fit her. Tell me I'm right, Ted!
—RB

Dear Wedded Woes:
Wrong, babe. Carmelita is much more relevant these days than adorable Heather, hate to say. But the good news for the Melrose Place mama is that her relaysh

has a better chance of lasting than Carm's. Much.

8/17 - Dear Ted:
I've agreed with some of your blolumns and disagreed openly with some others. So I won't pretend to care that Kim Kardashian has opted to not have you as

part of her wedding. I am sorry, however, that quite obviously your feelings got hurt in the process. To me, the Kardashians are everything I dislike about

the "television arts." But all public figures, most specifically the T-town ones, had to sell their soul to the devil, so to speak. Have Kim or any of the

Kardashian family members ever been a Blind Vicer? I'll gladly invite you to my wedding...if I ever have one! Fromage!
—Rita

Dear Tiny Violin:
Oh, Rita, you're usually so on the ball. But I'll blow up some balloons and throw you a pity party, too, and tell you that yes, at least one member of the

Dash fam has made their way into my monikered mania.

Dear Ted:
My latest rescue cat, Moonshadow, and I are sure that Carmelita Salami-Climber is either Anne Hathaway or Jennifer Aniston. Anne has famously shown dubious

taste in men, and Justin Theroux's ex allegedly has warned Jen about something being off with her new beau. Are we close to the target?
—DW

Dear Salami Sandwich:
No and no, DW. But not terrible guesses. Both gals are way gorgeous and may have had some man trouble in the past, just like Carm, but both ladies are far

happier with their current beaus than Ms. Salami-Climber is with her dubious man candy.

Dear Ted:
I have been paying particularly close attention to your recent Blinds, and I have to know: Is Carmelita Salami-Climber related to Alter Ego Salami? I just

need to know. Love you, doll.
—CinnamonGirl

Dear Pig Roast:
Happy to tell ya, doll: No, they're not related. In fact, I'm not sure if they've ever even met before. If they have, it would have been a blink-and-ya-miss

-it encounter at one of the swanky award shows they're always at."

Leens said...

I was at a party this weekend and heard a friend of mine hung out with Kris humphries a year or so ago at a bachelorette party and said he was so dumb and had zero personality-- in fact the girls were all trying to get away from him bc he was so lame. They were in disbelief that this guy ended up marrying Kim K but I thought this was interesting in the sense that it seems Kim is probably marrying him just to get married and he probably loves all the attention/fame/money

Rita said...

Not surprised there Leens. Was watching the Soup over the week-end, and Joel McHale, bless his heart, who is never afraid to make fun of the K family, had a video up on how the gang went on vacation before the wedding. There was a scene where Kim was freaking out on her finacé because he threw her in the water, she lost 70K earings, and did not like their suite.

I could not believe how annoying she is, and how subdued and under her thumb he is! I don't know how I'll be able to watch a whole show on them, when a simple 20-second video is beyond my patience!

Honestly, I thought the SNL skits making fun of Kim's nasal and slow way of talking was a parody, turns out, it's right on the money! who would've thunked it!

Leens said...

rather obvious, non?

Dear Ted:
What does Carmelita Salami-Climber's family think about her man? Are they as worried as her friends?
—Lauren

Dear Salami Summit:
Hey, if Carm keeps her toned tush in the tabloids, her fam doesn't care what kind of man she lands. They just love the attention.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/afternoon_bitch-back_are_blake_leo/259581#ixzz1Vsonl5Mk

Rita said...

Absolutely oui. Very obvious. Kim Kardashian for this one.

Rita said...

Also, like Morgan Mayhem and Paris Hilton blinds, Ted WANTS the readers to guess the blind.

I sort of understand him as well. He has done more promoting for Kim, and defended her behavior (to the risk of looking bought) in every post, and Bitch Back prior to him not getting his invitation, then any other E! blogger. For all he'd done to his 'friend', he should've gotten an invitation to her wedding. He would've been more of star then all of those D-listers who had accepted the wedding invitation. No A lister was present, no matter how many invitations they had sent out to begin with.

Leens said...

Totally agree, Rita!

Also, I ended up watching that episode you mentioned above. The family was trash talking Kris and he was totally awkward and inappropriate. I could not have been more turned off by a human being...and Kim was just atrocious and horrendously spoiled. I'm ashamed I watched this.

Side note, I love it when Ted is obvious! He throws us a bone every now and again!

Cathy said...

While I totally agree that this is Kim, I really don't think Ted actually expected to be invited to the wedding. All of his catty comments about not coming are just a continuation of a joke skit that he had in one of his Ask Ted or TLT video skits. The whole bit was him talking while wrapping the oven mitt (in birthday wrapping paper, to be extra cheesy) that he said was for Kim and Kris. Then he got a phone call, supposedly from Kris (Jenner, not Humphries), asking him to stop pretending that was invited and there might have been mention of a restraining order, but I don't remember anymore. The whole thing was a joke skit and Ted has just been referencing it.

Also, I'm not proud to admit it, but I watch the show. Not sure how many of you read CDAN, but Enty had a blind a while back about a guy who was so in love that he agreed to be portrayed in whatever way the producers wanted and it was revealed to be Kris. When I watched the most recent episode of KUWTK, it totally made sense. He made all those rude comments out of nowhere, as if someone told him to. While he may be boring, I really don't think he was being a jackass - I think he was saying what he was told to. All of his rude comments seemed very staged - such as randomly telling Kourtney over the phone that having a baby and being boring doesn't make her mature. It just totally came out of nowhere, like he was reading a line that someone fed him.

KaDixonLaw said...

I couldn't agree more regarding Kris Humphries, Cathy. I've only caught small snippets of KUWTK, but the whole thing has the exact same phony and completely staged feeling that The Hills had. It's truly sad that he he felt he had to give up control over his own personality and actions just to be with this woman.

Rita said...

There's nothing real about the Kardashians' reality shows. Producers got caught feeding lines to that sister who has a kid with Scott D(isick? or something) for their upcoming scene during the wedding reception. Supposedly, they were to discuss the possibility of getting married, which would be the ending of this season.

So nothing is real. The sad part is that Kris Humphries, supposedly blind in love, has signed away all free will so he could marry Kim, and will accept following the script no matter what it says.

My annoyance is still with Kim, as watched on The Soup, as she freaks out after Kris throws her in the water, and after her $5000/night room was too cluttered with flowers on the bed.

Cannot watch her, cannot find interest in her, cannot stand her. Which still doesn't make me blind to the fact that this moniker is all her.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What does Carmelita Salami-Climber's family think about her man? Are they as worried as her friends?
—Lauren

Dear Salami Summit:
Hey, if Carm keeps her toned tush in the tabloids, her fam doesn't care what kind of man she lands. They just love the attention."

Rita said...

If that doesn't say Kardashian, I don't know what else does: Her fam doesn't care what kind of man she lands. They just love the attention.

The only other family with this description would be the shameless and shameful Lohans.

Rita said...

An absolute confirmation this morning from Ted that Kris Jenner has spawned more then a few blind vice stars: this means that at least 2 of her kids have monikers, my bets are Kim and Khloé.

Leens said...

Additionally, Ted stated in the afternoon bitchback that Carmelita has an iron clad prenup.

Its safe to say carol anne sausage snatcher is Khloe as she is the only other married sibling in the Fam. Kourrney is not married.

Cathy said...

Leens - The Carol blind doesn't actually say that she's married... not that Kourtney would fit anyways...

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Does Carmelita Salami-Climber actually believe she is in love? Or is it a legit contract between her and her suitor? And how soon do you believe the two will

call it quits? Do Carmelita and her man currently bed others outside their relaysh?
—Jenny

Dear Jaded:
Not everybody in Hollywood is contractually bound, marriage-wise! And even though Carmelita's not an exception here (iron-clad prenup), she does completely

and wholly love her man. And that makes her a bit of an anomaly. And no, the relationship is most definitely not open. I give them two years, max."

"Dear Ted:
There's nothing better on cool mornings than warm coffee and scrolling through Blind Vices. My second cup of vanilla biscotti got me thinking, does Kris

Jenner have a Blind Vice?
—KJ

Dear Momager:
Nope. But she's popped out a few Vice stars."

KSP said...

Hi everyone! I am new to the blog.
I think Khloe is Cass Stimulatia.

Cathy said...

KSP - Welcome! That is a GREAT guess for Khloe, but unfortunately, the Cass BV first appeared in September 2010 and as of November 2010, Ted said that none of the Kardashians had vices.

Rita said...

Ah, Cathy beat me to it.

Welcome KSP! You can check a very complete list of stars Ted has confirmed to be, or not to be, a blind vice star, as well at the dates of confirmations on the "Our list of Blind Vice reveals etc." under the hot links. The sisters have done quite a great job at keeping this list updated... So much so, I personally think the Awful Truth checks it from to time to time to confirm their own time lines!

However, Ted has also said not long ago that BV monikers that have about the same name, or same meaning, in them are actually related (Cubby Asparagus / Chubby Asparagus - Although on that one I think he simply messed up and was simply a misspell).

Me thinks a Sausage-Snatcher and a Salami-Climber are related!

Miaow Baby said...

If Carmelita and her man truly love each other, why do you feel they'll only last for maybe 2 years?

Cathy said...

Miaow Baby - Blurry just posted a question from one of Ted's Bitch-Back articles, so it's Ted that only gives them two years. While I'm sure he checks out this site from time to time, he is in no way affiliated with it. If you want to ask him that question, your best bet is to email him through E's website.

Leens said...

Well, well, well...if this doesn't say it all, I don't know what does:

Dear Ted:
I've been thinking for so long which Kardashian could have a Blind Vice and though I have a feeling it's Kim, is there any chance that Khloé Kardashian is Cass Stimulatia?
—Jenny

Dear Keeping Up With the Vices:
Nope, K is not Cass. But who says Kim and Khlo can't both have a Vice?

Miaow Baby said...

Thank you, Cathy. :o)

blurry vice said...

9/19 - Dear Ted:
Kourtney Kardashian is my favorite of the sisters. How cute is her son, Mason? She is more under the radar than her sisters. Any Vices stashed in her

fashionable closet?
—LuLu

Dear Mama Drama:
I'm positive of it. But none that I've made official. And remember, Kourtney's talked openly about her sexuality in the past—not a Vice-type behavior,

really. Also, I'm sure she's very in the know about her sister's Vice. So now it's up to you: can you guess which sis has earned herself a moniker?

9/22 -Dear Ted:
I've been thinking for so long which Kardashian could have a Blind Vice and though I have a feeling it's Kim, is there any chance that Khloé Kardashian is

Cass Stimulatia?
—Jenny

Dear Keeping Up With the Vices:
Nope, K is not Cass. But who says Kim and Khlo can't both have a Vice?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Summertime is coming to an end and it also brings the end of wedding season. With that said, were Carmelita Salami-Climber's friends able to talk her out of

her wedding?
—Tiffany

Dear Something Borrowed, Feeling Blue:
Who said she was actually set to walk down the aisle? But Carm's friends haven't convinced her to ditch her dud of a dude yet. It's getting scarily serious."

Meggie said...

Does this mean it isn't KK?

Meggie said...

My guess is E! Pressured him to not be so obvious that it's Kim K, and it's not necessarily a "deny" that she got married... Just that no one ever said she did. I think he's trying to throw us off but I do think this is still Kim K

KaDixonLaw said...

@Meggie - I wasn't sure what to think about that answer either. It's getting "scarily serious?" Very odd. I still think Kim K. is the only one that totally fits here, though.

Rita said...

It's definitely Kim K. The first 2 blinds were before she got married. This BB Q&A is after she got married. He clearly does NOT answer/confirm if she walked down the isle. Only asked the question, in Ted's way of trying to mix-us up/confirming in a non-committed way.

Something's up, mags are talking about leading separate lives, commercials for the show talk about fights with Khloé before the wedding, and Kim and her hubby are promoting this week-end's nuptials on E! like nothing is going on. I think this is the first time they were out publicly together (on Ellen), after getting back from their 'fantastic' 3-day honeymoon in Europe.

I will permit myself to be a tad bitchy here and say: obviously the show had spent ALL their money on the wedding, so no budget left for an equally stupendous honeymoon.

There. I'm sorry. Got my bitch out. Have a good day now.

Meggie said...

I'm sure you are right. I still think it's Kim. Unfortunately between the two of them... They could go on whatever honeymoon they wanted. Kim just bought a 500k car. Makes me I'll. But I digress.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What really happened between Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively? Is it true that Lively did the dumping? I'm reading different things everywhere I go, and

need your almighty answer. Also, is Blake Lively Carmelita Salami-Climber (the girl does love shoes).
—A

Dear So Over Leggy Lively:
Whatever really happened between Lively and Leo certainly didn't have either party ailing for long. Leo's already moved onto his next leggy broad and Blake

has been spotted with Ryan Reynolds. As for Lively doing the dumping? Doubtful, since rumors swirled Mama DiCaprio didn't approve of the twosome—and you

cannot underestimate the importance of that dynamic in Leo's life. And while Blake does indeed love shoes, she's not Carmelita. Not a bad guess, though."

blurry vice said...

Divorced after 2 months! LOL

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/
thefamous/kim-kardashian-
filing-divorce-ryan-seacrest
-confirms-163105603.html?nc

Rita said...

Yep, and we all believed it would be forever. Snort.

Cannot be outed though as a moniker, for it would out Kris the now ex-hubby.

KaDixonLaw said...

I can't imagine that anyone is surprised by this. However, it's such a shame that young, impressionable kids look up to these idiots.

Cathy said...

I think the only reason he can't expose this one is because it would also out Kim for having sex for shoes - Ted never actually says that Kris is gay, he even says that it's just a hunch her friends have and not anything they've actually observed.

Rita said...

Good point Cathy.

KaDixonLaw - As if the world would be surprised that Kim has sex, in front of a full crowd, for shoes!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
How are things with Carmelita Salami-Climber and her man? Has she realized what a tool he is and dumped him?
—Lyn

Dear No Climbing for Carmelita:
There's certainly been some goss, but Carmelita seems to have reached a conclusion, although I wouldn't count on what exactly it is at the moment—Carmelita

lives to surprise everybody, her men most of all."

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rita said...

Ohoh! Ted disses Kim badly in today's week-end mail (learning not to write Bitch Backs anymore!!)

He literally states that it's her own fault if she has nothing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Ouch.

http://ca.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/weekend_mail_breaking_dawn_reviews_are/275992

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I feel so bad for Armie Hammer being in that hot mess Mirror, Mirror, but I have the perfect bounce-back role for him: Finnick Odair in The Hunger Games!

He's perfect, no? Also, any new info on Carmelita Salami-Climber?
—Empirico

Dear Casting Couch:
That's actually not a bad idea, like, at all, babe. Armie is hunky enough for it—physically speaking—and he's swoon-worthy too, which would totally seal the

deal, making him the perfect Finnick. Call up Lionsgate, E! As for Carmelita? She has less to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, but she deserves it.

Kharma's a be-yotch!"

000m said...

Surely that must be a major hint/confirmation for Ted to spell "Kharma" instead of "karma"? That just reeks KardasHian...

(BTW, I wonder why so hateful toward Kim all of a sudden? Hmm, what could she have done to ire Ted so...)

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