Friday, May 30, 2008

One Air-Sick Blind Vice

Lindsay Lohan New York Magazine February 2008 IssueNew BV from Ted - Morgan Mayhem returns. We have been familiar with Morgan Mayhem for a few years now... after numerous past BV's we know she is Lindsay Lohan.

Lead-ins
Carzy-Like
Hip-hip ho-ray, Morgan Mayhem's returned for a weird-ass Blind Vice, and she's nuttier than merde!

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Outrageous!
M
organ Mayhem's polluted thinking in today's Blind Vice installment is so out there, she actually makes pink-wigged Spears seem like a pretty together chick. When is somebody gonna save poor M2's soul? Uh, is never good for you?


One Air-Sick Blind Vice


Morgan Mayhem is up to her old tricks. Well, I guess they can't really be considered old if she never stopped doing them?
Ms. May has a load of talents, but her best (and most often used) one is alienating her amigos. One of the buds she's burned as of late is the brother of one of her former flames, Dare to Do Me, the cute eye candy from a band still pretty popular on the charts. M2 is still psycho for the rocker she's shared several rendezvous romps with in the past, but D.D.'s moved on to focus on his music, good boy. Morg still keeps Dare's bro around, prolly as a resource if the fella ever wants to play with this par-tick groupie again.
Morgy is prone to wrestling up some wacky stuff to put her so-called friends through. She'll call the dreamy Do Me's brother up on a random weekday, claming she just bought them both plane tickets to Europe for that very day. If that wasn't spontaneous and silly enough, Do Me 2 will pick May-babe up and drive her to the airport, only to find out there's no ticket for him. Girl just straight up lies. Can you imagine that in Los Angeles? Oh, you shouldn't treat pals like that, M2, especially when they're related to amours you may want to snag back once you're finished with your current, more curious, conquests.
But listen up: Maybe it's not all drugs, dudes and rock 'n' roll with Mayhem, after all. Close buds swears Morgan's got a bona fide mental disorder that would explain her notorious behavior. It ain't chemicals or drink that's driving this doll up the walls—just like Britney's problemos were more brain-centered than everyone first thought. For real: Morgan insists there exists, somewhere in ultraluxurious, née looney, la-la land, a special private jet that takes celebs from L.A. to London in one hour. Swears.
Jeez, why isn't somebody helping this broad? She's screaming for aid, really. Nobody's listening.
And it ain't: Courtney Love, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson

We have posted some of the old vintage Morgan Mayhem BV's are in the post below. She is most definitely Lindsay Lohan. We will just have to figure out who Dare to Do Me is. Anyone know?

4 comments:

blurry vice said...

Does Jered Leto have a brother? What about Adam Levine?

blurry vice said...

Dare to Do Me now figured out. In Ted's column today, he mentions Shannon Leto, brother of Jared. Apparently Shannon Leto is a DJ. Li-Lo likes to hang out with DJ's and she DJ's events herself sometimes too.

Anonymous said...

jared leto.

Anonymous said...

definitely jared and shannon. they are both in 30 seconds to mars and shannon is sort of a loser who hangs out with "hot" and young chicks cause his brother is jared (i know this from experience...).

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