Oh, Brother, Can You Believe This Sister?
And folks say the guys are dirty little birdies? Meet Vadge-Fly Trap. In today’s Blind Vice, she proves that it isn't just the fellas who think with their crotches first and their publicists’ speed-dialing second.
One Girlie, Gonzo Blind Vice
As I’m off to get hitched, thought it would be terribly appropriate to give you a little salacious het-on-het action. I mean, why not, more straights than fruits get married, right? Oh, but could that just be because it’s only legal for you guys? Never mind. This isn’t a political soap bitch; it’s a Blind Vice, and as intent as I was to bring on the hetero horniness, Vadge Fly-Trap interfered. Or at least her gal-hungry paws did.
Vadge, really, is just as ballsy as most of the guys she’s simply clobbered in the Biz. More so, I’d say. She’s sorta like that Spitzer dude in fact—so obviously gunnin’ for the girls, while (stupidly) thinking nobody’ll notice. Hardly!
While Ms. VFT rakes in the major dough for her TV and movie appearances, much of the world may indeed have fallen in love with her, but I’m tellin’ ya, those worshippers certainly don’t include some rich-ass Bev Hills babes.
“She was sitting next to me, and her hand kept brushing up against my leg!” revealed one 30ish, single, Chanel-suited gal (who doesn’t like gals, at least, not in that way), regarding a luncheon party she attended with Ms. Fly-Trap. “She was actually squeezing my thigh at one point,” continued the guy-lovin’ lady, “and I, very directly, just had to ask her to stop it.”
How very polite. What’s the matter with a good ol’ bitch-slap to the overly painted puss, huh? I mean, if a guy had done that to some broad who didn’t want it, it’s safe to assume his pucker would be sucker-punched, essentially.
Oh, completely forgot. People dare not cross Vadge Fly-Trap, that’s why. She is, in T-town, what Tom Cruise used to be: megapowered and poop-proof. But not for very much longer.
And it ain't: Paris Hilton, Scarlett Johansson, Martha Stewart
Also eliminated: Katherine Heigl, Julia Roberts, Rebecca Rojmin, Jennifer Love Hewitt
*** Top Suspects: Oprah Winfrey, Sally Field
Guess in comments!