Thursday, January 3, 2008

Toothy Tile and Beard no longer?

Reese WitherspoonJake Gyllenhaal

In the Awful Truth today, Ted discusses Toothy Tile and his beard. We all knew here at Blind Items Exposed that Reese and Jake were only friends! (With a few tabloid PR-placed made up dates to make it look like something more). See below...

Certain H-town know-it-alls claim Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal plan to (again) end their romance. “They were never romantically involved,” relayed a close amiga to both stars. “They were just very good friends, trying to help each other out.” For the moment, I’ll leave the why on that particular non-Cupid score alone. After all, could have been for any number of reasons—a messy end to a relationship with horndog Ryan Phillippe will leave any girl ripe for some good ol’ hand-holding, trust. But look, Reese is a guaranteed movie star. She has an Oscar. She can open a movie. True, she’s had her share of bombs (Rendition with Jake, for ince), but she’s not exactly cautioning her every public move. She can afford to sass ‘n’ screw around a little more than Jake can. Gyllenhaal’s career is still climbing and somewhat unproven, less so Reese’s. That’s just one reason why a lotta Jakey’s buds have been getting increasingly miffed by the relationship between Reese and Jake (which People had the guffaw-inducing temerity to call “low-key,” after it ran any java-run pic of the two babes it could get its hot little Time Inc. hands on). Gyllenhaal’s friends—who really got tested by this whatever with Reese—feel J.G. was letting himself be used. He didn’t need to do this,” bitched one particularly frustrated companion to Jake. “His career was fine. His friends are fine. He has a family. I don’t know why he felt the need to attach himself to Reese like that. Well, I do. But he didn’t need to do it.” Oh, whatev. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time two famous folks hooked up because they thought it would be a personal and professional tabloid shot in the arm. Hookin'-up hijinks usually don't work out that way. Don’t believe me? Ask Pam and what’s his name. But back to R 'n' J. Think Jakey finally got sick to death of so many of his buds lampooning him, to put it very mildly, for being Reese’s bitch. You two, could it possibly be true? Is dimpled paradise ending for you both?

This gives us SO many hints that Jake is Toothy Tile. Remember a few weeks ago when Ted said that Toothy's friends are fed up with him lately? Above Ted says that Jake's friends are not happy with the Reese fake relationship thing. I also like the "dimpled paradise" thrown in. Thanks Ted for another Jake/Toothy update!