Tuesday, June 16, 2009

One Bugged-Out Belter Blind Vice

From Ted this past Friday - sorry for the delay.

One Bugged-Out Belter Blind Vice

Princess Powder-Puff has had quite the rocky existence for the past couple of years. Besides being a sizeable tabloid target, Princess P. has had some career setbacks, too. Maybe that's because everyone around Pee uses her for something. And whatever goodies those fake pals are gaining, it's never in PPP's best interest, for sure.
See, Puff hardly has any real buds. Sad, but very true.
Now, don't feel too bad for the babe, 'cause with her money she could easily be getting help if she wanted it. Instead, Triple-Pee resorts to seeking a different kinda aid from those around her.
Like drugs. The hard stuff, babes. Like what ruins major divas' careers before the whole global tabloid world's eyes. Powder-Puff is scrounging for a fix and isn't being too subtle about it, in whatever town she happens to be touring through. And what's Pee's great idea so nobody finds out? She's asking her crew members left and right for them to score something, anything, for her.
Genius.
Yikes, this is definitely gonna make PPP's comeback 10 times harder. Just more trainwreckishly delish for us to watch, that's all.
Oh, you all do know Princess isn't used to performing sober, don't you? It's something she absolutely hates doing, and it's definitely showing—the few times she agrees to be forced into such a desultory state.
So sad, too, 'cause Pee used to have it all. Boys, hits, good-girl fame—the works.
And it ain't: Nicole Scherzinger, Nadine Coyle, Christina Aguilera

As of 1/20/11 Ted has eliminated Mischa Barton, Selena Gomez, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Scherzinger, Nadine Cole, Christina Aguilera.

On 9/3/09 - The top suspect for this was Britney Spears after the AT team has revealed that past revealed BV subjects have been given new names. (Britney was formerly Ivana Belch but it was revealed.)
HOWEVER -
Update 1/18/11 - Ted states that Princess Powder-Puff did not have a BV already.  (This pretty much eliminates Britney.)

Current top suspect - ?

Please see the label below for the new PPP BV from Jan 2011.

* Clue 1/13/11 - Ted states PPP was born before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

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Edited to add:

Here is the Blind Vice which Ted REVEALED to be Britney Spears:

One Bitches on the Verge Blind Vice - Feb 23, 2006


I swear, suits and serious folks can be the biggest babies in this town. Originally, I was going to tell you about certain boardroom types who are having public hissy fits about this whole Clay Aiken threatened class(less) action suit.
But I'm so bored with Clay-mate talk that if I have to write about it for another second I'm gonna roll over and let Simon Cowell have his whippin' way with me. Boooring. Just the same, as long as we're on this quasi-S&M trip, we may as well delve into a scandal even more ghoulishly girly than a sexually ambiguous pop star.
(Besides, I'm too upset about the cancellation of Love Monkey to talk music right now. And no, I am not kidding.)
Okay, get out the Kleenex. Because whatever you may have done on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you had a peachier time than Ivana Belch.
Picture it. One of WeHo's snazziest boutiques. I.B. saunters in looking bloated, like she'd spent the morning crying into her feather bed alone instead of banging pillows against the walls in the throws of passion. A shame, yes, given that I.B. is certainly attached to a dude. But it gets worse.
"Suddenly, she burst out crying, sobbing really, and went into the dressing room," whispers my stunned shopping source. "It was so sad. You wanted to hug her."
Now, you might say to yourself, 'What's the big deal, Ted? So a girl cries in her dressing room, so what? I mean, Kirstie Alley made a comeback out of that."
And I, of course, would respond by reminding you of certain glaring, unspeakable circumstances.
Ivy is a mega star. She is not Kirstie-size in terms of fame or physique. Plus, need I remind you again? It was Valentine's, and though I don't know Ivana all that well, she sure seems like a gal who would want her man to douse her in chocolate body syrup. Or, you know, just get her some roses.
But the bottom line is pretty simple. If you ask moi, dressing rooms are as sacred as bedrooms. And I'm sure I.B. would agree--well, actually, maybe not. I mean, if that were the case, she'd prolly have a nicer wardrobe.


And it ain't: Nicole Ritchie, Kelly Clarkson, Hilary Duff


And here's the letter where Ted revealed:

"Dear Ted:
I am so hoping the One Bitches-on-the-Verge Blind Vice is about Britney Spears. Please tell me I'm right!
  Kayla Smart
  Kansas


Dear Right On:
As you are, my sweet, 'tis Ms. S."

So.... Britney Spears was revealed as Ivana Belch.

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38 comments:

mercury395 said...

Britney Spears, hands down.

M said...

Yeah this screams Britney, but maybe that's too obvious

Jillian said...

I can't imagine Ted's never done a blind on Britney before.

I saw a guess for Whitney Houston on Ted's page. I like that guess.

Kelly said...

Jessica Simpson?

JosieMinus said...

Fergie! The "Pee" tells the tale on this one!

chrissi said...

either britney or fergie for sure!

anony_2 said...

Ted did a blind on Britney back when her marriage was falling apart -- about her crying in a fitting room on Valentine's Day. He even outed her, she's one of only 2 I can remember him ever explicitly outing (the other was Teri Hatcher)

I can't remember the name he gave her, but as he claims never to change blind names, this can't be Britney.

M said...

Yeah I thought Fergie maybe, Ted calling her "Pee" could be a clue, but Fergie isn't really going for a comeback, he says this girl is

anony_2 said...

The Black-Eyed Peas are, though, arguably.

Barton Fink said...

Janet Jackson was on a comeback tour recently. Has no friends. Has been a "sizeable tabloid target" because of her enormous weight fluctuations.

Britney's conservatorship probably allows her father to drug-test her and watch her closely. She also left a stage recently in Vancouver because people were smoking pot, and it bugged her.

crila16 said...

I'm thinking Janet Jackson. She used to have a good girl image, and I think she's trying to have a comeback. It can't be Britney...she's already had her comeback. Besides...her father is so far up her (you know what) she's under careful watch. She's also fighting for her kids back, and needs to be drug tested frequently. Not her.

Fergie never had a good girl image...though the Pee reference sounds like it would be her.

NM said...

Jessica Simpson

Hush said...

Hm...Jessica Simpson, and the Pee reference....since popular wisdom pegs John Mayer, her ex as Super Duper Cooper with the sexual weirdness that could fit. Thoughts?

Lisa said...

Britney is constantly peeing herself though!

sistah2 said...

Its down to JS and JJ> Britney a good guess but these posters are right, her dad is too involved day to day & she's being tested.

Whitney said...

Please people...its sooo Jessica Simpson! Like someone said, Britney is far too controlled under her fathers conservatorship for it to be her. Also, she is not TRYING to make a comeback, to many, she has def already made a comeback. Jessica, on the other hand, has been in the tabloids alot the past couple years (on and off relationships, weight gain), and her singing career has definitely declined (Chilli cook-off anyone?) Believe it or not, its Jessica! Also, think about the name: Princess Powder Puff. She has been dating Tony for years, and Powder Puff teams are usually referring to women's football teams. Finally, Jessica has been known to forget words in concert, why do you think that is? Drugs and alcohol. Come on people!!!

duffgrl said...

I don't see it being Jessica! She has always forgot her words-this is nothing new;she's an airhead. Plus, someone on drugs is usually strung-out and skinny.
I think this item together w/ today's page six item I'm thinking possibly Courtney Love.

duffgrl said...

I guess not Courtney Love; since she's never been a good girl. But not Jessica S. Just saw pics of her from yesterday and she looks really healthy. Plus, I think this person (PPP)does not have a significant other;seems like she is single which rules out JS and Fergie. Maybe Christina Milian? Or JJ

blurry vice said...

It does sound like Britney or someone in a similar sitch. Britney was revealed to be a different BV though, and Ted insists that he doesn't use different names for the same celeb.

blurry vice said...

Maybe Rihanna?

Yes the "pee" makes us think Fergie. But she talks alot about how she battled a meth addiction. Not that that rules her out.

A-face said...

I won't say that Janet was my first guess, but after thinking about it, I think it might be her... Her brother is the "king" of pop, she seems painfully shy and probably hates to perform sober because of it, and her full name is Janet Domita Jo Jackson (JJJ) Princess Powder Puff (PPP), Ted did that before with LiLo (MM). So is that a clue or am I pulling for strings? p.s. This is for sure the best blog I have ever seen reveal these! Thanks Blurry Vice, you get me through my work day :)

Matan4il said...

I'm for the Jessica Simpson guess. Her reputation as a good girl was a huge deal, unlike Janet Jackson, who started her career with the 'nasty' image.

And yeah, the 'Pee' thing made me think of her ex, John Mayer. She did go along with his kinks, right? Must be somewhat into it too.

Littlelilac said...

But Fergie openly admitted to have a meth problem before she hit it with the Peas and frankly she looks good and happy these days. And she really doesn't need the Peas, they need her.

beattrack said...

What about Mischa Barton?...she is a mess right now/has been for a while...and doesn't seem to be changing. I read somewhere else that she has still been using and may be trying to hide it. There was also a major story about how all her friends have been ditching her and there is a direct mention to her lack of friends.

Erin said...

If PPP is someone with a current single on the charts, that eliminates Jessica.

Novia said...

Since Team Awful said today that if Ted reveals a Blind Vice and then wants to talk about the person again he (at least sometimes) gives them a new name, Britney Spears is still in the running for this one.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Give us another hint about Princess Powder-Puff. Does she have a current single on the charts?
—Pumpkingirl

Dear Royalty Wondering:
Yes. Does that narrow it down one bit? Probably not."

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is Princess Powder-Puff married? Also, In your opinion, what comes first: offscreen attraction leading to onscreen chemistry, or onscreen chemistry leading to offscreen attraction? It seems like there are a lot of stars that end up with their costars, so I was curious. It seems like with Robsten, there was a little of both.
—Elizabeth

Dear Two-Pronged Truth:
1. Remember, she's a princess, not a queen. 2. It's a little of both for a lot of reasons. Think about my favorite example, Brangelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Now which was the culprit in that oh-so-famous case?"

blurry vice said...

Yes, with their new "loophole", this means Britney could be a BV subject again. I really wish Ted had clarified this himself. It sucks that his interns told us this. It changes everything!

blurry vice said...

Ted put Britney Spears in his Blind Vice Superstar Gallery, with a hint that makes us believe she has been in a new BV since her "Ivana Belch" one was revealed. This hint also correlates perfectly with Princess Powder Puff! Here is the hint -

"Britney Spears

Think Brit's totally rehabilitated cause she's got a hit tour? Yeah, right. She's as busted up as ever—but just exactly how is still under wraps."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's been going on with Britney Spears lately? I was at the store and saw she wasn't on the cover of a tabloid! She seems to be on the down-low lately. What's she been up to?
—Li'l Katie

Dear Crazy Lurking Round Every Corner:
Hiding her problems a lot better, I suppose."

blurry vice said...

I'm still irritated by this whole situation. Ted had told us adamantly for months that he only gives each celeb one name only. For a very long time, we had decided that Britney Spears was not eligible to be Princess Powder Puff bc she was already Ivana Belch. Now we're told, oh yeah, we've sometimes given celebs a new name after they have been revealed. WTF!? And Ted didn't even tell us this himself, it was from his intern while Ted was on vacation. Ted answered letter after letter stating that no celeb was given more than one name. Now we see clearly that this one is indeed about Britney Spears. But for this whole time we were thrown off. I am irritated by Ted for this reason. I know he has got a lot of stuff going on in his personal life. But this is a huge deal to us readers, to try to figure out who the blind vices are. And the fact that Ted didn't even tell us this himself, it was one of his interns while Ted was on vacation... and he has not addressed it since... that bothers me!

OK that was my rant for the day.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Just wondering, what's the word on Britney Spears? You've been awfully quiet about her lately. She's one that I think a lot of people would like to see content, successful and happy. How's she really doing?
—Chrys

Dear Gimme More:
Aside from buzz about her new album (rumored to release in June) and the reveal of her new Candies ad campaign, Brit-Brit's been doing what she does best: driving around L.A., going on shopping sprees or stopping at Starbucks with boyfriend Jason Trawick. Team Spears wants to keep B tabloid friendly with an oh-so-ordinary appearance while they work out some of her more, how shall we say, complex issues behind the scenes. But I can guarantee that Brit is definitely continuing to make positive improvements in her life."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Just a quick one. Back before Britney Spears' every breath was reported by the paps, was she ever a Blind Vice?
—Miss

Dear Quicie:
Um, duh."

we already knew

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I wish you'd fill us in a bit on how Britney is doing. She obviously still has "problems," but is she getting real help, i.e. therapy, or are her handlers just wringing every last dollar they can out of her. I know her dad has had his own problems and even left the family, so how exactly is he supposed to be helping her emotionally pull herself together? Seems to me she has just sort of become the family slave/cash cow. And where's mom in all this? Isn't the "boyfriend/agent" really sort of a hired gun? Am I reading this all wrong here?
—A

Dear Spears' Clan:
Sure, at times it seems Brit has some questionable people around her and she's still got a few issues to work out, but look at the progress she's made in a few years. Something is obviously going well, because she's not out beating up cars with umbrellas or shaving her head. And for that I've got to say kudos, B. Also, quite frankly, the more mom butts out, the better for our Brit."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I never see you talking about Britney Spears and her boyfriend Jason Trawick. They are together for more than two years, any chance of a wedding?
—Laur

Dear Mental Matrimony:
I don't talk about it because it still makes me sad. Brit may seem like she's better, but if you ask me, she still seems like she's walking through life

tranquilized up. Hey, if Jason's making her better I'm all for it. I just don't see happy heat from these two."

Tara said...

So according to the new BV today, if this is Britney, Lynne Spears seduced someone Britney has a working relationship with? I can't decide if I think this is Trawick or someone else. She definitely is not happy with him, you can tell. I wonder if this happened before B and J got together or if it was during/at the beginning and she found out more recently. This is sick--how could a mother do that, and then for him to go there, even if it was when he was just her agent--gross. I thought he might have been too nice for her and she was bored, not that he banged Mama Spears.

PS Ted totally is spinning this to sound like it is Demi Lovato now, making everyone forget that PPP was a blind before. Nice Try!!

blurry vice said...

I updated the post - it's not Britney according to Ted. PPP did not have a BV before. Can't be Brit.

What about Fergie?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I know you outed Britney Spears for a B.V. a few years ago. Has she earned herself another moniker? Or has she truly moved on from her past?
—CinemaKatie

Dear Vice Me Baby One More Time:
She's moved on in some ways (a lot of ways, actually), but even with all that baggage she's burned, Brit-Brit still carries some designer bags of naughty
secrets. All that metaphor is to say, she's a Hall of Famer for a reason."

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