Tuesday, June 30, 2009

One Tweet-Deceiver Bonus Blind Vice!

From Ted Monday 6/29...

One Tweet-Deceiver Bonus Blind Vice!

Celebs aren't exactly known to be truth tellers—Toothy Tile continuously lying to himself and every ridiculous excuse Lindsay Lohan's made to get out of pretty much anything are proof enough of that. But Melinda Miscreant is another story. Dame's fibbing 'bout her own flesh 'n' blood, incredibly tacky.

Mel, who somehow still gets TV work despite peaking years ago, is as guilty of desiring followers on her Twitter page as every other Kutcher-like celeb with an online presence.

But that's not the truly heinous part. The despicable side of M.M.'s Internet persona is that she's totally painting a prettier pic of her motherly abilities, and the ones who are totally paying for it are her kids:

M.M. has gotten on enough people's nerves in her recent attention-seeking antics that she's doing whatever she can do to get her former fans to like her again. Instead of her sexuality (hasn't worked in a while), she's focusing on winning Mother of the Year—without really working for it.

Mel is known to tweet that she's at the park with her kids, when in actuality, she's really she's off tanning! So say totally tight M.M. sources who are with the babe while she deceptweets right in front of 'em! She'll totally update her status to say she's with her kids at, say, an ice cream parlor, when really she's at the spa, sans offspring. We're surprised she's putting this much effort into faux-mothering her kids instead of just schlepping them outside for a photo op. At least then your kids would actually see ya sometime.

And we thought the kids' father was the badly behaving one. Hardly. Certainly he has his own parenting problems, but at least he barely tweets a thing, let alone lies.

And it ain't: Victoria Beckham, Nicole Richie, Demi Moore

* Update July 8 - Ted has eliminated Linda Hogan, Lisa Rinna, Shanna Moakler.

* Our top suspect - Denise Richards.


Anonymous said...

Denise Richards?

Unknown said...

Denise Richards definitely.

A-face said...

It' not that complicated! Totally Denise Richards!!!

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Melinda Miscreant the extremely obnoxious Lisa Rinna? Don't you (and most people) think she is incredibly annoying? And the meth user you spoke of, is that Heather Locklear? (I hope not—she seems very sweet.)

Dear Two-for-One Special:
No, not really. Sorry, no more for you.

Dear Ted:
Love your column. Is Melinda Miscreant Linda Hogan?

Dear Another One, Doc:
You're one shot of Botox too many, babe. Way too old. "

Barton Fink said...

Remember those photos of her doing coke on the beach? Denise is a skank.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Really enjoy you and your column. I was very sorry to hear about your cat. Horrible, painful experience—I know, and my heart goes out to you for your loss. I was curious, have you seen this article? Seems to me to be the most plausible about the whole Robsten thing. Also, definitely—Melinda Miscreant is Shanna Moakler without any doubt. My guess on Toothy Tile is Tom Cruise. Makes the most sense. Keep the Robsten stories coming. Like millions of others, I can't get enough! Thanks for being so great at what you do.
—Just another Rob/Twilight/Edward obsessed girl in Wash.

Dear Too Close for Comfort:
You're two B.V. guesses would seem spot-on, but unfortunately you're off just a tad on both. As for the Robsten dating item, it was very thorough indeed. But they're off on a few of their facts. "

Anonymous said...

i agree with denise richards...have you seen how often she mentions her daughters in her tweets??? good god woman.

Caz1310 said...

What a horrible mother Denise is. A more recent post has her as top suspect for someone being kicked out of a theme park for doing Coke on a ride (yes her kids were there). I hope her kids have a positive role model somewhere in the family.

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