Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Blind Vice: Veronica's Surgical Secret Revealed!

We really don't intend to put these all up a day late.  New from Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Veronica's Surgical Secret Revealed!

We were expecting to induct Veronica Bee-Stings into our exclusive Blind Vice club when one of her flirt fests with a certain married costar went too far.
See, V. is a knockout, that's for sure, and she loves that men want her—especially hunky ones who are already spoken for. And they do, surely.
Blake Lively: Traveling to the TopBut we're not here to discuss her femme fatal ways. Rather, today's secretive lesson is about all the money that's gone into making Veronica look so very alluring:
In other words, are they or aren't they real? We're talking 'bout her knockers, jugs, high-beams, babaloos, whatever you want to call her precious set o' twins.
Bee-Stings treasure chest has been a hot topic amongst gossip bloggers ever since her gorgeous tress made her way into Hollywood years agoand we just happened to stumble upon a stylish colleague of V.'s who knows for sure.
Ready for the almighty answer?
They're fake, of course!
Says Bee-Sting's bestie:
"Her weight used to fluctuate before she stopped eating and her boobs always stayed the same exact, perky size."
Keep in mind, this pal of Veronica's knew the popular star before her augmentation (among other little tweaks 'n' things).
Don't you love how bitchy this town is?
Now, we don't find boob jobs particularly that interesting (hello, L.A. is full of them!), but it's just a tad gratifying to know for certain that V. has paid for some of her amazing looks—even though she's famous for protesting otherwise.
'Nic is always blabbing to the press how her body is totally natural and how she can, like, eat whatever she wants and not go to the gym because she's just blessed that way!
Well, as natural as you get with a little ta-ta enhancement and, oh ya, fixing that "deviated septum" of hers.
But we're not here to judge. Not at all.
Veronica certainly can take credit for the fact she has legs for days and hair for weeks. It's just time to translate some of those hard earned looks into, I dunno, real acting parts, maybe? Because the clock is ticking on your 15 minutes of augmented splendor, hon, and we secretly want you to stay around a bit longer.
And It Ain't:  Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Amanda Bynes
Update 5/25/12 - Ted has eliminated Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Amanda Bynes, Kristen Stewart, Rooney Mara, Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Aniston, Carey Mulligan, Jennifer Lawrence, Eva Mendes, Carey Mulligan, Kate Winslet, Katy PerryCharlize TheronLea Michele, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

* Top suspect -Blake Lively

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Bloated Babe Turns To Booze, Not Babies!

We toss around the word celebrity here at Awful Truth, about as loosely as Toothy Tile guards his homosexuality. That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best.
And the poor gal's also currently getting raked over the rumor coals for possibly being preggers. And, trust, in a town that wants to skewer folks (mainly women) for being a half-ounce over weight, that's pretty scandalous stuff.
Shouldn't be, but it is.
And guess what? Chances are slim to none Lucretia's with child because...
Her friends tell us the wayward babe's been "getting sloppy drunk for months."
Poor Lucretia has had a bad run of luck with men not exactly being loyal to her, hell, even nice to her. Johnson also has a bad habit of letting these jokers do whatever they want in bed—to sometimes yucky results!
Even though L.'s currently found a man who seems to be able to stick around and be decent to her, Lucretia just doesn't believe—deep down inside—it's going to last.
So the stacked sweetie drinks and drinks and drinks.
No wonder she's lookin' thicker than Levi Johnston's head these days!
Lucretia is also—according to her friends who have known her since she was a cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High—increasingly concerned that her most unimpressive career is fast approaching the point of becoming a permanent zero. Despite having had a fair amount of on-camera success in the past.
Ms. J., who really can sometimes do the cutest little flips with her big mane o' luscious hair, is also totally depressed that her more famous friends are quickly abandoning her, as she's just not the same hot celeb she used to be.
Hell, who needs friends like that? Good riddance, we say!
Get yourself to an AA meeting, Lucretia. Then you might realize this man you're with now isn't exactly looking out for your best interests, and neither are your avaricious relatives.
Sober up and smell the Starbucks, honey.
And It Ain't: Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau

Update 3/24/12 - Ted has eliminated Bristol Palin, Mo'Nique, Brittny Gastineau, Beyonce Knowles, Raven Simone, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore, Vanessa Hudgens, Holly Madison, Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Snooki.

Please see the label below for a link to the new LJ BV.

Top suspects -either Jessica Simpson or Christina Aguilera

Friday, November 26, 2010

CDAN Blind 11/24

This squeaky clean, late night talk show host is cheating on his wife. If you thought the Letterman thing was explosive, you have not seen anything yet.

Buzzfoto Blind Item #438

From Nov. 22:

These two television stars recently announced their split. What they didn't say was why they ended their off-screen romance. It is because the male actor continues to go around the set groping the other female actors in the cast. He's done that since the beginning of their relationship, but after a while, she was fed up, asked him to stop and when he wouldn't, she ended it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bonus Blind: Rich Celeb Likes to Watch Boys Man Their Rockets

Sorry for the deleay, we are a busy bunch.  This was a new BV from Ted Monday -

Bonus Blind: Rich Celeb Likes to Watch Boys Man Their Rockets

The UnionNever really understood the more voyeuristic side of Hollywood, like Petered Metered, the Hollywood star who lives to watch porn or gay boys doing it in front of him in his big lux Los Angeles mansion. Operative words being in front of him. Not with him. Excuse me?
Maybe this is something the equally rich—and equally seasoned—Prince Horebart Hairplug 
can understand? I dare say he can, as Horey lives to...
Corral all the good-looking young men he can find, just so they can strip down and screw right in front of him! And keep in mind, we're talkin' young (though not underage), sweethearts. A little baby-fat never hurt Hairplug's libido. In fact, just the opposite.
And before you ask what does Prince—whose multi-talented reputation reaches many entertainment venues—hear from his partner while he's off watching all this rosy-cheeked fornication, just know it's most likely, "Enjoy!"
I swear, what is it with these celebrity couples who allow each other to cheat and then naively expect everything to just keep on keepin' on after the fact. Stupid!
Or not. Prince and his much younger other half have been together for some time, so maybe this open-relationship stuff does work for a select few? Perhaps.
Still, what's far more perplexing to us is what's the pointing of all this vicarious sex stuff? Why the hell not actually partake in all the supple fun? Oh, I get it—by not touching, do these horny idiots actually think they're not cheating?
That would just be classic.
It Ain't: Matthew McConaughey, Patrick Wilson, Prince

For Prince Horebart Hairplug:
As of 12/7/10 Ted has also eliminated Nicholas Cage, Kevin Kline.

Top suspect - Elton John

For Petered Metered: click on the label below to go to our post on his BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Vintage BV: Hussy Purr & Drinkel Manslut

Here's another vintage BV couple, from 2006.   [And here's the thing, people.  This is yet ANOTHER one that people thought this was Jess and Nick.  However, we know that they can each have only ONE nickname and not unliminted as people thought a few years ago.  So who do you think this was about???]
Update 11/23/10 - Nick Lachey was said to NOT have a BV yet, so this couple and other BV couples can NOT be them.

One Rattling Blind Vice - March 16, 2006

Oh, Hussy Purr, every day I come a wee bit closer to understanding why you change moods more often than hairstyles. Sometimes, a story unfolds slowly. What we know is Hussy and her onetime perma-man-candy, Drinkel Manslut, may be no longer. And zillions of theories abound, citing everything from HP's unconventional love life to Drink's roving eyes, hands, etc. Alas, while I'm sure neither Hussy nor Drinkel deserves to be canonized anytime soon, I've learned from excellent sources that it was her misbehavior that put them into "get away from me once and for all" land. And to top it off, I'm told Hussy put her man into a hissy overdrive with an announcement that's straight out of Jerry Springer: I'm pregnant. And you ain't the daddy. I'm sure she put it more gently, of course, but whatev. Not that Hussy ever seemed much of a conniver, mind you. Were she not so famous, none of this scandalicious horror would seem so shocking. But Hussy is. And so is the father. So, don't expect to see any pics of her preggers in the tabs anytime soon. 'Cause you won't. Any guesses why? 

And it ain't: Sienna Miller/Jude Law, DJ AM/Nicole Richie, Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog

Eliminated: Sienna Miller/Jude Law, DJ AM/Nicole Richie, Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog, Cameron Diaz/Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama, Paris Hilton/Stavros Niarchos

Top suspects: Carmen Electra/Dave Navarro, Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen

Friday, November 19, 2010

Blind Vice Archive: Chester Shorts-Off & Secretia Ohio

Another chapter of Ted and the Awful team's archives.  Our favorite celeb swingers, Tony and Eva!  Just in time for the news of their divorce.

This couple has provided us with a few of our favorite Blind Vice's. Who doesn't love some kinky fun?
As their relationship is quite unconventional, Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off are dangerously close to figuring out the perfect sinful Hollywood partnership. Everyone in this skanky town cheats, so why not do it together? But open relationships only work for so long…
The Perps: Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off
Primary Vice: Swingers
Blind Bio: This couple has been known to hit up certain swinger parties in the Hollywood Hills together. Sex on the side for both Secretia and Ohio is totally okay since they're apart a lot, but emotional cheating is never allowed. And, sure enough, trouble started brewing when Ms. Ohio started fooling around more than Chester preferred…so he emotionally checked out.

Top suspects: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

Here are our posts on the 3 Chester and Secretia BVs: February 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated; March 2010; and the most recent from today, November 2010.

Blind Vice: Swinging Sex Play Gets Super-Sticky for Celeb Couple

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Swinging Sex Play Gets Super-Sticky for Celeb Couple

As we told you a while ago, Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off were developing a couple of cracks in their very liberal (and licentious) love agreement. And we're not just talking random butt crack, babes.
EVA LONGORIA PARKER 24X36 COLOR POSTER PRINTNope, Secretia was becoming a bit careless in her private hookups, even though the two had agreed to have an open relationship—which often included swinging orgy sex. How psychedelic '60s, love it! However, Chester was not at all pleased with his gal's borderline-public liaisons with other men, so he decided to...
Start being indiscrete himself!
And handsome Chester (who, if you ask us, isn't quite the hunk-muffin so many folks say he is, but whatever) did his sex-hungry honey one better: He started getting emotionally attached to his sex partners. Going out, having lunch and dinner, you know, hanging.
OMG, the nerve Chester had to not just have sex with these women! And anything that went beyond the bedroom, Secretia had warned, would always be considered the ultimate no-no numero uno.
People are such idiots, really. Do they think multiple orgasms with multiple partners isn't going to eventually lead to some kind of psychological—if not affectionate—connection between the players? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
But Chester was pretty dumb himself when he thought Secretia would just lie back and take his one-upmanship. Hardly this bitch's style.
So Ms. Ohio is currently deciding her options. Does she dump Chester and demand a bigass piece of his financial pie in the process—and risk exposing her own sexual goings-on in the process? Or does she stay with Chester and make the best of it?
But plan C, which involves only Chester being hung out to dry—for an agreed-upon monetary arrangement between the two cheaters, of course—would probably be far more likely.
It Ain't: Kevin and Christine Costner, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, Michelle and Barack Obama.

Top suspects: still Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. 

See our other SO and CSO posts: March 2010 and February 2010 including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: Priscilla Desert Is Dry Indeed

Turns out Blind Vice vixen Priscilla Desert isn't as trampy as some of you think.
Sure, she hasn't exactly kept the best male company (much to the dismay and spin control of her team) but don't you dare label her slutty by association!
You wanna know why?
Yes, Priscilla Desert is...
Still a virgin!
(Pals close to Priscilla let this slip after a few too many cocktails, so the apple doesn't fall far from her friends!).
Now, to those of you who don't live in Hollywood where practically everyone keeps a legs wide open policy, this may not seem shocking for a girl of her age.
But it is. It really is.
Especially because other chicks who grew up in the spotlight like Me-Me Dallas or Darla Jones certainly cannot say the same.
Humping in trailers is so not P.D.'s thang.
Now Pris's bearding to Parrish Maguire makes a little more sense. Fauxmance's always serve a purpose, but since she isn't getting it anywhere else of course she doesn't mind the PR sham. Being attached to hotties in this business benefits her too, ya know.
Guess that also tells us that despite the fact Miss P throws 'em back, she never gets too out of control to lose track of her clothes.
We find this very respectable! And way cute. Guess her good girl image isn't totally a sham.
Now ditch the losers honey and find real love that you say you desperately want!
Here's hoping that once you get a taste of something good (we mean true love people, duh), you never go back to bearding.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Nikki Reed, Emily Osment

Top suspect: still Taylor Swift 

Proven to be Priscilla Desert by timeline of dates Ted has said she was NOT a BV and then confirmed as a BV:  TAYLOR SWIFT.

Please see labels for links to the other two PD BVs including a full list of who has been eliminated, and the timeline analysis.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

VINTAGE BV: Schlocky Ticky-Tocky

Just for kicks... another oldie.  Where does Ted come up with these bizarre names?

One Pained 'n' Stained Blind Vice - Dec. 22, 2005

Now, this is a really skanky one to go out on. The year's up, and so is this chick's pretty-puss time. See, Schlocky Ticky-Tocky, always known more for her talent than her beauty, is getting on--as we all appear to be, perhaps with the sole exception of Paris Hilton (arguable point, I know). So, Schlocky--a kudo queen for one of her more, uh, less scene-chewing flicks--went to see a fancy plastic surgeon. Not one of the best, perhaps, but not one of the worst cracks in town either. S.T.-T. got herself a face-lift, went for the whole works, the full bandaged shebang. Now, here's where it gets dicey--not to mention really ugly. Schlocky's a very, very heavy smoker. Idiot. As if lung cancer and assorted other potential ailments waiting to afflict the once A-list actress weren't enough to scare this broad off the fags, you'd think the following would. Ticky-Tocky's doc told the pre-op broad that she had to not only stop smoking before the surgery, but during the healing process, as well. Had. To. And do you think she did? All the addicts in the world are all shouting hell, no! in unison, right about now, and I'm one of 'em, damn straight. As a most unfortunate side effect of not following her physician's warning, Ms. T.-T.--who indeed continued to smoke like a chimney through all phases of her elective, invasive treatment--now has permanently marked nicotine lines of medium to dark brown wherever there were incisions. On her jaw and face, her neck, her brow--in addition to additional splotches on her cheeks. Accordingly, Schlocky never, ever goes out without full makeup and scarves. Jesus, may I never pick up another cigarette again--'cause I sure don't want my face-lift resulting in that! 
And it ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Susan Sarandon, Barbra Streisand

Also eliminated: Goldie Hawn, Faye Dunaway, Julianne Moore, Anjelica Houston
Top suspects were: Liza Minelli, Diane Keaton


Another vintage Blind Vice dug up from the dusty internet files ... this one going back 5 years again, from December 2005.

One High-Fuming Blind Vice - Dec. 6, 2005

Whip M. Off has always been a rebel. He's one of those grown-ups who refuses to act his damn age in spite of bein' a dad and having a runaway hairline. See, when Whip carouses, he really goes for it. He's not a tame horny duck like, say, Bruce Willis--hell, no. (Strippers and any female who just happens to be displaying a sizeable décolleté are never happy to see Whip's increasingly heavy gait head over their way.) Of course, W.P. might be acting like such an annoying doof lately 'cause he doesn't have Bruno's deep pockets. I mean he did, once upon a time, before a nasty divorce. Yep, poor Whip M. learned the hard way that prenups are a cynical but necessary part of marriage. (Britney Spears, you are a smart cookie in that department!) Mr. Off and his non-earning, hell-raising wife-unit didn't sign one, see. Consequently, Whip is, gulp, outta cash. Like, completely. And he's depressed, as in bring on the pick-me-up drugs, as in can barely fake a sexy smile. Jeez, who wouldn't be? Now, I'm gonna give you a reason to grin next time yer tending a bruised ego in the rear of an airplane. Mr. O. is so damn broke, he is flying coach--even when he has the fam in tow. Yes, this guy's IMDb page goes on for a million freakin' pages, yet he can't even get legroom in the sky anymore. And he's damn bitter about it, trust me. It's no wonder Whip's been acting strange lately, not his usual witty self on the red carpet and such. And heaven knows, we can't afford to lose any charmers in that department! (Oh, and by the masochistic way, Whip is obsessed with the stupid-ola fact of having not gotten a prenup, particularly when he's salivating--I kid you not--for his long-gone first-class days.) 
And it ain't: Eddie Murphy, Lorenzo Lamas, Alec Baldwin

Also eliminated: Val Kilmer, Jack Nicholson, Don Johnson, Charlie Sheen
Top suspect:  ?

VINTAGE BV: Madeline Max-It, Mike Mouthful

Doing our weekly vintage Blind Vice .... this time flashing back to November 2005.  Again for those who are new, we dig up the old ones because Ted only gives each celeb one nickname.  So we are trying to piece together who is who.

One Domestically Disturbed Blind Vice - November 23, 2005

Everybody adores Madeline Max-It, 'cause girlfriend has the shit goin' on. Mads went from being a plain, mousy gal to a svelte superstudstress. Hit endeavors, a hottie partner and a family unit helped seal the deal for the curvy babe, whose detractors round Hollywood were simply seething over the fact that M.M.I. seems to have just a little too much of a good thing. Well, those naysayers can relax. Not only is Mad's spouse more partial to the types who, say, fill out pants a little better than does our Madeline (however, M. sports them as best as any femme does, must say), but more and more folks are getting hip to the extramarital fact that is Mads and her hunky costar Mike Mouthful. Yep, you got it: Mads apparently doesn't mind so much when her hubby cheats with the fellahs, thanks to Mike's sizable offscreen shenanigans (on par with those onscreen, to be sure). But Mads and Mikey sure better be more selective about where they tongue--and digit--wrestle. Too many parties are starting to serve them up, verbally speaking, before and after the raspberry-and-chocolate soufflé. 
And It Ain't: Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora; Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards; Courteney Cox/David Arquette

No one else was eliminated in Ted's mailbag for this.
Top suspects were: Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick/Chris Noth, Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe/Joaquin Phoenix, Kelly Preston/John Travolta

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Blind Vice: Toothy Tile's Back to Dangerous Sex!

New from Ted yesterday...

Blind Vice: Toothy Tile's Back to Dangerous Sex!

It's really gotten to be one of the most vicious, Catch-22 romantic situations in Hollywood: poor Toothy Tile's love life. Last we heard, Tinseltown's most notoriously closeted actor last gave his fake-beard ways another whirl—and not in the classiest of ways, either.
Hmmm. Wonder if that chick-patrolling Toothy was up to could be a habit he picked up...
While cruising for guys in West Hollywood? In dark, public places? We think this just might be an affirmative assumption on our part!
Bubble BoyOnly because not only do old habits die hard (Toothy loves doing it anyplace except a bed, remember?), but it's clear Tooth's recently amped-up, PR chick-dating has made him hungrier than usual for his natural inclination: dudes.
Near the Sunset Strip, Tooth was recently standing not that far from a popular gay club. He was by himself, in the alley in between two darkly lit buildings. A super-cute guy a little younger than Mr. Tile walked by. The young brown-haired guy knew the drill: If he was interested, turn back around. Which he did.
Very nervously, he went up to Toothy, knowing exactly who he was. Toothy replied, "Hey."
"Hey," responded cute boy, barely audible. The wholesome-looking dude added, "How's...it going?"
"Great," said Toothy, who moved further back into the blackness of the alley, somewhere near the—gasp!—trash bins. He placed one hand on his growing crotch, which was not insignificant at this point.
Toothy's man-choice for the night reluctantly took one step toward Toothy, and then he stepped back. It wasn't so much that he had a boyfriend at home he was thinking about, but it was more so the faint smell of eau de refuse that was making him hesitate. He just couldn't go through with it.
He bolted, practically hitting himself the whole way home.
And yes, this really did happen. All 18 tales of our Toothy archives have indeed gone down. As it were.
And It Ain't: Matt Lanter, Ralph Fiennes, Joseph Fiennes

Top suspect: Jake Gyllenhaal 

Please see the Toothy Tile label below for links to previous Toothy BVs.  Here is our list of everyone who has been eliminated as Toothy.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!

New from Ted today -

Bonus Blind: Marrying Man Screwing Around Already!
Men are dawgs, period, plain and simple. It's a familiar refrain heard ‘round the Awful Truth, so get used to it.
My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-UpTake Altar-Ego Salami, for example. He's an arguably handsome man of some fame (and talent) who fairly recently got married—or engaged, we're not saying, sorry! But let's put it this way: The announcement of said fact was splashed heartily across many a celeb site.
You know how we goss types are, right? We just get wet in the keyboard whenever something like that goes down. Only thing that gets us more excited is when all that domestic lovey stuff goes wrong, right?
Oh, yeah!
And Altar-Ego is already cheating right and friggin' left on his unsuspecting honey, which is just colossally unbelievable, if you ask us, because Salami is being pretty sloppy about his horning around. He's doing it in very visible, highly desirable hotels. You know, places where lotsa celebs go. And who else goes to places like that?
People who love to talk about people who go to places like that! In other words, it's hardly been a secret that AES has been going in and out of his suites more than his lady companions. He's not being discreet about it. Or quiet.
And the stupid girl who's marrying (or just married) Mr. S thinks she's met the lover of her life. Well, maybe she has, but she's also met the lover of many other babes' lives.
Good thing the arrogant (stupid) prick didn't plan for a prenup—this way, his put-upon woman can sue the tight pants off him later on!
It Ain't: Nick Lachey, David Annable, Nick Cannon
Update Dec 23 - Ted has also eliminated Paul Wesley, Michael C. Hall

Current top suspect: Russell Brand
Other guesses: Eric Johnson, Brian Austin Green, Pete Wentz, Eddie Cibrian

Lainey - Doctor's orders

New from Lainey today -

Doctor's orders

George Clooney 2011 Wall Calendar #RS6166He like his sex unconventional. Some would call it experimental, certainly vigorous, and definitely physical. Maybe too physical. Mixing pain into his pleasure, and cutting very, very close to a dangerous line is taking its toll on his body. He shows up with strange bruises, the next week it’s a minor fracture, his neck has been strained, sometimes there’s a knee brace, the shoulder’s been f-cked up for a while, and his back is a chronic issue too.

The excuse of course is that he’s active, that he exercises, he’s sporty, and that’s true, yes, but the injuries are not sustained while playing pickup, no, not at all. The injuries happen when he’s doing his business with his steady girl, a willing and capable participant.

His doctor is aware of what’s been ailing him, and WHY it’s ailing him. Helps when he can. But he’s been urged to take it easy because lately it’s been getting too rough. Especially with insurance and medicals and all that kind of paperwork, it’s hard to explain away the cuts and sprains, the little accidents that seem to be occurring with increasing frequency. He’s so into it, and he gets so off on it, it’s hard from him to curtail his fun. But they all agree, at least it’s been the case in the past, that when it’s time to get to work, he manages to keep his freak under control.

Top suspect: George Clooney

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weekly Vintage BV: Hash Bilk

Our weekly vintage from Awful Truth...

One Toke Over the Dotted Line Blind Vice - 3/2/06

Hash Bilk makes me laugh. He makes me cry. And it turns out Hash makes himself laugh. And cry. And maybe even get the munchies and devour whole bags of potato chips. After all, that's what many folks do when they get stoned. Getting stoned is nothing mega, I know. As one bigwig agent chick blabbed to me earlier this week, "Everyone loves [certain sweetie-poo star]. She's just a sweet, nice pothead." I, for one, contest this statement and point to a certain hemp-hyper as Captain Ganja of Malibu, but alas, we're digressing. And I'm not even stoned! Anyway, here's when firing up the joint does become big news: when you do it at the office. And that's exactly what H.B., a major exec and talent, is doing. He even had a special ventilated-office annex built. You know, a smoky little hideaway where he can puff and giggle all he wants without some evil, aspiring CEO sniffing him out. Smart, Hash, I just hope you're careful about who you bring in that room with ya. It makes sense to me that Mr. B. likes to smoke up on the company turf. I mean, his movies can be daring. Why should it be any surprise that he is, too? And he's so talented that I've often wondered what's the secret to his success. But who knew the secret would smell like patchouli? Not me, for one. 
And It Ain't: Mel Gibson; Steven Spielberg; Tom Cruise

Top suspects were: Quentin Tarantino, J.J. Abrams, Michael Bay

Friday, November 5, 2010

Awful Truth's BV Archive - Super Duper Cooper

Ted's created another chapter of his archive - this one to go along with today's BV, good ole Super Duper Cooper.

Time to bring back and oldie and stinky B.V. creep monster.
Room for SquaresRemember Super-Duper Cooper? He's a poop on ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy. Not to mention his verbal diarrhea of the mouth only makes us wonder how the hell he is still able to bed tons of Hollywood beauties. Especially considering his post-coital behavior...
The Perp: Super-Duper Cooper
Primary Vice: Douchebag
Blind Bio: Celebrity whose manners are as disgusting in private as they are in public. This dude is a notorious womanizer, no secret there, but the way he mixes his bedroom and bathroom behavior sure might surprise some folks. And his thank-you to a select few gals? Forcing his conquests he accidentally knocks up to get abortions, including his famous, slightly cheap ex-girlfriend.

Top suspect: John Mayer.  See below for our other posts on SDC including our full list of eliminations.

Blind Vice: You May Never Want to Have Sex Again!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice: You May Never Want to Have Sex Again!
Battle StudiesIt's a good thing Super-Duper Cooper, whose bedroom habits stink to high heaven, is pretty hot. Otherwise, what you're about to read would be virtually impossible to fathom. I mean, kinky sex is one thing, but totally debauched, gross-out nooky with an ever grosser-looking partner would be just beyond hideous, right?
Still, babes, hold off on eating your lunch ‘cause what you're fixing to read, about what Super's been up to, will probably make you want toss your cookies:
Coop, who still manages to bed all the good-looking gals he can find (despite claiming the opposite), recently stayed at his fave deluxe Vegas hotel. The place was used to catering to Cooper's starry ways: Women constantly in and out of his room, the suite always left a mess, etc. Nobody ever said anything, discretion is this celeb hang's policy!
But that was before.
After Super-Duper's most recent stay, he left behind a gift. It was a bag, actually. The housekeeper found it. She opened it up, thinking she'd get a delightful, vicarious big-celebrity thrill, getting a look at the fancy stuff before, of course, returning it to management so Super could retrieve his forgotten goodies.
Well, guess what she found? A bunch of s--t. Literally. Now, technically, they were crap-covered bed linens (which, clearly, Coop was planning on throwing out, but forgot). But listen up, the predominant ingredient in that damn bag was overwhelmingly made of human feces. With a nice chaser of dried seminal fluid, just to top things off nicely.
Now, Super, you bizarro perv, we already knew you were into sex-with-poop, but the thing we don't get—like at all—is where the hell do you find these chicks who participate in the stinky stuff, too? Are they really into it, or do they just play along (and hold their noses)?
Or are we just boring old vanilla-sex types, and is fornication with turds the new black? Are we that behind with the latest trends? Do tell, Super! Tweet us an answer, pronto, por favor!
At any rate, the Vegas joint's concierges are at a loss as to what they're going to say to Super next time he books a room. May we suggest: "So very sorry we can't accommodate you, Mr. Cooper, but unfortunately, we're as full as your bowels."
And It Ain't: Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Colin Farrell

Top suspect: John Mayer

Links to previous SDC BVs:
Oct '07 and April '08 including a full list of who has been eliminated; and January '08.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Gives Great Headline!

Ted's Bonus Blind from Monday.  Yes there was a delay.  We all have kids and/or jobs.  If you are upset over these delays, plese hit the "donate" button and donate to Blind Items Exposed.  Maybe one day we can afford to just keep up with blind items and pay our bills doing nothing else.  Until then, bear with us!  Thank you for your patience.

Bonus Blind: She-Devil Dees Gives Great Headline! 

Playboy July/August 2009 Olivia MunnThe only thing that makes us the slightest bit reluctant to write this Bonus Blind is the fact that She-Devil Dees (whom this Vice is about) will have an orgasm over it. That's what sex truly means to this arguably pretty honey: Nothing gets her off better than an article with her name in it.
Which is precisely why She-Devil saw to it that someone tipped off the media when...
She dated Hornius Thighs, one of Hollywood's hottest stud-muffins. Hornious never quite understood why the press was always waiting for them whenever he and She-D went on a date—no matter where they went. But Hornious finally got the clue and ditched the finagling double-dee broad.
So, Ms. Dees was then forced to move on to Jerry Rock-Butt. You remember: He's a multitalented somewhat good-looking boy and he succumbed to She-Devil's man machinations, as his girlfriend is about as boring as Justin Timberlake's love life these days.
(Men are so weak.)
Again, She-Devil arranged—in really not that clandestine a fashion—for details of her assignation with Jerry to get leaked to the media. But this time she did something different: She wouldn't comment about the affair when asked.
She-Devil, who wants to be as famous as they come, noticed this mouth-shut approach was the fancy way big stars acted when the media asked them about their personal affairs. So, that's what She-Devil decided to do.
She caught on that the "no comment" thing actually looked like a huge comment, as far as the appearance of the hookup goes. At least to the press.
And that's all that matters to She-Devil.
It Ain't: Natalie Portman, Tila Tequila, Chelsea Handler

Here is the link to the previous Jerry Rock-Butt BV from July 2009 including a full list of who has been eliminated as JRB.

List of eliminated for She-Devil Dees as of 2/28/11: Natalie Portman, Tila Tequila, Chelsea Handler, Evan Rachel Wood, Kim Kardashian, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens

Top suspects:
She-Devil Dees - Olivia Munn
Jerry Rock-Butt - Justin Timberlake
Hornius Thighs - Chris Pine

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Lainey- How He Lost It

How he lost it

Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever (100% Official)What’s “it”? What else? He gave it to a more experienced older woman, if you can call her that, also living the public life and with it all its attendant miseries. Which could explain why she chose to, um, initiate him the way she did. Because his first time was certainly not conventional, at least not when I was growing up, but then again, maybe that’s what they do at summer camp now: losing your virginity through the backdoor...? Like he doesn’t have enough to swagger about these days, he also gets to boast about the fact that he’s already tried what so many boys to men and grown men want to try so badly. Now that’s a story that he can tell forever, and probably will, in a few years, when everyone stops caring.

Are you thinking who I'm thinking????