Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Vintage BV - Sniffer Stella & Wendell Waxer

Here's another one with two!  Also included Wendell Waxer's second BV.  He was eventually revealed by Ted to be Jesse Metcalfe.


Two Schnoz-Straining Blind Vices - January 18, 2007

After-hours parties always spell trouble, right? Yes, thank gawd! I mean, anything that happens after the clubs close at some über-mansion in the Hollywood Hills after two ayem is bound to be bad news, right?
(Just ask Lindsay Lohan where that type of late-night stuff lands you, if you don't believe moi.)
Such delish naughtiness is what was goin' down at the owner of a Hollywood hot spot's posh pad recently. After the booty-shakin' boîte announced last call, said proprietor moved the celeb-hoppin' pah-tay to his private home. How very accommodating!
And all the usual trash-rag suspects were there, as well as some more surprising ones.
But, no guest, I assure you, was as shocking as the Sniffer honey, a rail-thin tart, if there ever was one. This skinny gal, who has a rather wholesome rep, has been rumored to like hitting the slopes before, ya know. But, nothing concrete has been sighted on her—until now.
Some peeps say hitting the powder runs is precisely why this gal got so damn skeletal all of the sudden. But, I digress, per usual.
Anyhow, Ms. Sniff was in dire need of a hit and told the whole room as much.
“Do you have our stuff?” Sniffer Stella yelled to her partner in partying crime, who, evidently, had the supply. “I need a bump!” Thank heavens S.B.'s trusty amiga had the goods! “It's right here in my purse!,” the partygoer yelled back, as the girls not so discreetly rendezvoused to the bathroom, almost as if they were in the mansion all by themselves (which was hardly the case).
Meanwhile, at the same nose-candy coral, a very pretty boy we'll call Wendell Waxer was being rather obvious himself.
The good-lookin' guy, whose sexuality is often questioned, was loudly placing a bet with a friend over who could score the hottest girl in the house.
The winner, it was decided between the cave-dude types, got not only bragging rights, but the rails of coke lined up on the coffee table for the taking.
W2 won, of course, and pulled a hottie right fast. But, W.W., hon, you'd better be careful...the booger sugar, to be friggin' sure, ages that fine face of yours faster than your flack gets fake union items in the gossips.


And it Aint: Jessica Simpson/Wentworth Miller, Nicki Hilton/Jamie Foxx, Ashlee Simpson/Hayden Christensen 

For Sniffer Stella -
Eliminated: Jessica Simpson, Nicki Hilton,  Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Sienna Miller, Keira Knightley, Kirsten Dunst, Reese Witherspoon
Top suspects: Hillary Duff, Jessica Alba


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JESSE METCALFE 24x36 COLOR POSTER PRINTThen here's the second Wendell Waxer BV...

One Jerk-Off Blind Vice - June 1, 2007


What can you really say about a guy like Wendell Waxer? First off, he's damn lucky. See, Wendell was attending film school on the East Coast when he was "discovered" on the streets. Wendell scored a semisweet deal acting on a network offering. Pretty fortuitous, considering our comely Wendell had no acting training whatsoever.
W2 eventually ditched school and headed for T-town with his long-term girlfriend from college. Now, keep in boo-hoo mind, the good-intentioned, blushing g-f moved out west to support her man, who promptly got a huge-ass head from his newfound stardom and dumped her ass.
Nice.
Now, Ms. Dumped Derriere would surely hasten one to not only not date her creep-a-zoid old flame but also to not invite him to dinner at your pad. See, during a holiday when W.W. couldn't make it home, a good college bud of his graciously asked Wen to spend the time at his fam's place. And Wendell caused a huge fracas at his guest's house over a friggin' board game.
Apparently, mean-ass, egomaniac Wendell made his host's younger sibling bawl over a game of Scattegories. W2 promptly got booted by the host's horrified mama.
Later on down the line, after his big network debut, his same amigo from school was making a movie. And despite Wendell's pleading, he didn't think W2 was quite right for any parts and chose not to audition him. I mean, the guy had never even taken any acting classes, so it's understandable why someone might have doubts, right?
Apparently not to narcissistic Wendell, who did what any mature person would do. He stopped speaking to his former friend. Like I said, sweet.
Sounds like someone needs some attitude rehab, among other things.


And It Ain't: Doug Savant, James Denton, Shawn Pyfrom (all from Desperate Housewives)

For Wendell Waxer -
Eliminated: Wentworth Miller, Jamie Foxx, Hayden Christensen, Doug Savant, James Denton, Shawn Pyfrom, Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake
Ted revealed to be: Jesse Metcalfe

3 comments:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Congrats on the engagement and wishing you many years of wedded bliss. Okay, so I keep guessing these Blind Vices, and I never hear back from you. One more try: Wendell Waxer is Jesse Metcalfe, right? His waxed eyebrows are a dead giveaway.
Jen
Iowa City, Iowa

Dear Dollface:
Thanks for the wedding well-wishes. And congrats to you, my little crumbcake. You’ve correctly cracked the Blind!"

yeehovasalicious said...

I wouldn't consider Jessica Alba's image to be wholesome. This blind is from 2007, and by that time she was already considered a sex symbol, with roles in Sin City & Into The Blue.

BROOKE said...

IDK, rail thin makes me think of Kate Bosworth or was had she already became rail thin before that point? All I know is when she first came on the scene and she was in Blue Crush she was healthy looking and then she got scary skinny. Yes, I realize that some people are just really thin and she was very young when BC was filmed. I also realize that as you grow older one of two things happen 1. You lose your baby fat so to speak, a lot of girls go though a faze at about 17-20 yrs old where they have a little more weight on them and then as they get in their mid twenties they tighten up ect. or 2. or you gain weight, I've saw many girls who were rail thin in HS all of a sudden put on weight after their school days have past and they are no longer as active. I just remember that when Kate started dating Orlando that she got so thin and maybe it was due to stress in their relationship IDK, but I just thought of her and her wholesome image. I though I'd put my two cents in. As for Jessica Alba, wasn't she always pretty rail thin? Oh and Hillary Duff def. has a wholesome image, but when she started dating Benji Madden I questioned was she really THAT wholesome after all, they broke up and he got with RAIL thin Nicole Richie who had in fact dabbled (which is a kind word for it) in drugs herself. Maybe Duff was feeling pressure over the breakup to be thin, if you listen to her album that she released it pretty much is about Benji and her breakup so you can tell she was still stressing about the breakup, maybe it did lead her to try to be thinner like Nicole R. Just a thought...All pretty good guesses, I just am not seeing this is JAlba.

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