Saturday, April 17, 2010

Vintage BV - Julep Jiggle & Driscoll Dreamboat

Another "couple" blind vice from the archives...
One Foreboding Blind Vice - Jan 31, 2006
Blind Spot inro:  Most folks think of Driscoll Dreamboat as Mr. Nice Guy and deem his ex Julep Jiggle a tad, well, skanky. They obviously haven't read this item.
 A skinny starlet previously in rehab is back on the blow? Say it ain't so! Suckin' up lines in front of dozens of clubgoers? Shocked!
As if.

I mean, gals getting their fix of nose candy in the VIP area is nothing new in Hell-Ay. I've got some much juicier gossip about a supposedly squeaky-clean twosome...

Breaking up is so hard to do, and the aftermath is never pretty. There are so many unanswered questions. Who gets what? Who's to blame? Who will hook up with someone new first? Who will be named in a scandalous, kinky lawsuit? And finally, who cheated?

As if divorces weren't ugly enough, things between Julep Jiggle and Driscoll Dreamboat are about get downright abysmal--even though their split occurred some time ago. You see, in the near future, someone's most likely going to file a lawsuit. And in that suit will be highly incriminating conversations about one partner's penchant for extramarital threesomes--so says balking babe with fancy lawyers. This is so exciting, I feel just like Tom Cruise in The Firm!

Now, I bet you've already pinned Julep as the obvious offender. After all, rumors were flying that J.J. hooked up with a slew of humpy high-rollers. People say she's self-centered and demanding. (By the way, who isn't in this damn town?)

Yep, everyone felt très sorry for poor D2. He seemed like such a nice guy.

Until now. Since he married Julep, Dris has been gettin' more nasty nooky than ever, according to legal-filing chick. And, evidently, Driscoll's a multitasker. Not just around the house but in the bedroom, too. Three's never a crowd for this guy...the more, the merrier. As if that's not naughty enough, Driscoll hinted he might also be down for a threesome with a smokin' girl...and a very hot, semi-famous bud. Yes, buddy, as in a dude.

Whatever, threesomes are the norm here in Blindville.

But you know what's exciting about this one, gals? In like a few weeks, you're prolly gonna know exactly who I'm talkin' about. We'll talk then, 'kay?

And it ain't:  Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger, Lorenzo Lamas/Shauna Sands Lamas, Chad Lowe/Hilary Swank
Also eliminated - Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillipe, Rebecca Romijn/John Stamos, Christina Applegate/Jonathan Schaech, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennifer Aniston

Top suspects - were Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey; however as of 11/22/10 Nick has never had a BV so this couple and other BV couples can not be Nick and Jess.


Unknown said...

for this one, I had guessed it was pam anderson and tommy lee or uma thurman and ethan hawke

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Interesting to know that B.V. celebs can be renamed once they are solved. Could you post the ones that have already been solved? Or if you would be generous enough, just tell us if Jessica Simpson's has ever been solved? I think we all assume she is Julep Jiggle, but no one is sure if you've ever confirmed it.
—Lisa Marie

Dear Jolly for Jiggles:
Jess is definitely mingling in the B.V.s, but can't say we are sure her Vicey self jiggles as much as her jugs do. Oh, and per your suggestion, what's the fun is spilling and spoiling the celeb camouflage? We all want you to know their dirtiest deets, but let's be real, they sure don't!"

Read more:

blurry vice said...

JS is also a top suspect for Impenna Never-Trated.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
My guess for One Foreboding Blind Vice is Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen. I'm also wondering if maybe it isn't Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora?

Dear Multiple Guesses:
Love your imagination, doll. And I'll respond in turn--ice cold and scary blushing hot. But don't get too steamed; I ain't gonna tell ya which response is tied to which couple. What fun would that be?"

"Dear Ted:
I had to ask if the One Foreboding Blind Vice couple is Christina Applegate and soon-to-be-ex Johnathon Schaech?

Dear Amela:
Think bigger headlines, bigger boobs--bigger everything, actually. But nothing against John, I'm sure he's big enuff."

"Dear Ted:
Had to have a guess on the One Foreboding Blind Vice. Lots of southern hints there, i.e., julep, etcetera. I say it's Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. Love the daily reports. Keep it up--even my hubby wants to know what's going on.

Dear Married Missy:
Nope. Also, keep in mind, sometimes my clues are more obvious than others. So, in this case, age-wise, you're as warm as Delta rain. But career-wise, you're cold as sorority snobs. (Oh, and tell the hubby I'll keep it up if he does!)"

The Spie said...

Well, we need a new top suspect for this one, folks. Brainstorm time.

blurry vice said...

no on nick 11/22
"Dear Ted:
Let's talk happy engaged couples. Have either Vanessa Minnillo or Nick Lachey ever been a B.V.? And do you think they will make it to the altar, beyond and

produce some dimpled offspring?

Dear Newlyweds, Round 2:
No Vices here—both are way too boring for that. But yes, I think they'll definitely swap I do's; they've only been dating forever. The real question is who

will race to the altar first:, him or the former Mrs. Lachey."