Thursday, April 15, 2010

Vintage BV: Dinky Rider & Clenched Class

April 21, 2006 -

One Randy 'n' Rockin' Blind Vice

Spring fever! It's here, darlings. I knew it was when a very de-lish lass spared no moist detail as she related her mattress mash-up with an action-remake director. Will they meet again?

Oh, who cares! We have better thumpin' things to talk about today. Like, say, crooner Dinky Rider and his pretty damn serious girlfriend, Clenched Class.

Here's what's funny: C.C. is so sumptuous (though some would call the babe prissy) that it's hard to picture her in something as common and practical as...a bus. Yet D.R. is quite the opposite when it comes to moving vehicles (his private parts most definitely included).

There was a concert. Girlies galore were stampeding Mr. R., who was doing his best to shun the horny honeys, as things are superserious between C. 'n' D.

Keep that lovely sentiment in mind while we zoom in on a bus parked backstage for Dinky's private use.


Frantic fans, journalists and roadies milled about, soaking up the fun-ass scene. And then a door opened from Dink's wheels. And a remarkably curvy gal emerged with that look on her face, you know--the glow. Wonder if said peach-puss had anything to do with muffled screams and quiet moans heard prior from same locale? Hmmm.

Two points of note: Mystery bedhead babe is a very different body type from C.C. All they have in common is...well, I won't say. I wouldn't want Clenched to come after me with a blow dryer or anything.


And it ain't: Beyonce/Jay-Z, Heidi Klum/Seal, Drew Barrymore/Fab Moretti

Also eliminated: Usher/Naomi Campbell, Chris Martin/Gwyneth Paltrow, Mischa Barton/Cisco

Top guesses: Hillary Duff/Joel Madden, Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban

14 comments:

Gemini850 said...

I think Ted has said that Renee has been a blind vice and with everyone thinking that cruella is Nicole Kidman could Renee be this one. She was married to Kenny Chesney.

blurry vice said...

Renee Z and Kenny Chesney divorced in Oct 2005.

Megan said...

Could it be that both ladies were...natural redheads?

Megan said...

Reading this made me think of Ashlee Simpson.was she together with pete wentz when this was written?

The Spie said...

Megan: I think this was written when she was still with John Mayer, and, let's face it, he's Super Duper Cooper. I still think Vicky Vamp-Void is a better fit for Ashlee.

Elizabeth said...

Could it be Michael Buble and the girl he was seeing back then?

Megan said...

This morning I totally thought of Michael Buble and Emily Blunt for this since he was caught cheating on her if I remember correctly. Not sure if the timeline fits.

mere said...

when were Keith and Nicole married? There were rumours that he was seeing other women at the time.

How about JT? He's rumoured to be quite the player. He seemed serious with Cam when they were dating. Don't remember how long he's been seeing Jessica Biel.

cassandra said...

this is the one i thought was NK and KU, it made me doubt that she could be cruella st shackles

The Spie said...

mere: If you have any other suspects for Jerry Rock-Butt and Chutney Jones, I'd be willing to consider this one for JT and Biel. I'm not going to make any assertion that they're Rock-Butt and Jones, though; Ted really burned me with Glistening Gunther, and I'm still putting cream on the sore spot. I am willing to put the healing tissue on the line for Kidman being Cruella, though. That fit is almost airtight.

Leigh said...

This screams Michael Buble to me. Crooner is a great way to describe him, and there were lots of rumors about the way he treated Emily Blunt.

Megan said...

I am confused as to why Ted writes "all the have in common is... Well I won't say. Don't want C to come after me with a blowdryer"
At first I thought maybe he was referring o her vajay but the more I read it I think he's alluding to drug use (blow=cocaine...blowdryer)???

blurry vice said...

Ted said in January 2010 that Emily Blunt was never a BV.

slgibbs1 said...

Sound like it could be John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan

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