Saturday, April 17, 2010

Vintage BV - Slick Nick

Going back to 2004 to dig this one up!

One Helpful Blind Vice - December 16, 2004

Colin Farrell Movie (Face) Poster Print - 24" X 36"Slick Nick has it all: career, great hair, looks, chicks everywhere he burps and winks. Damn, he's got everything a full-blooded, babe-beddin' straight stud could ever wet-dream of, right? Well...

Yep...and nope.

You see, ol' naughty Nick---who has made the rep for himself these days tackling every kinda acting role under the eclectic sun--isn't all that his female fans hope and pant for him to be. Old story, really.

It's just that Mr. Nick, who's downright dedicated to appearing as hetero as possible whenever cameras are present (dead giveaway most times), did a little homo research in his early emoting days. And it wasn't for a movie.

Let's say it was more for any film job, as in the ol' casting couch-a-roonie. But with a guy. A very unpleasant man, I might add. Not too cute, either, but oh, was this lascivious geezer ever connected: right to the Hollywood machinery that then proceeded to whir and purr and kick and spurt, all for Slick Nick's glorious unfolding career.

Was it worth it, Nick?

Of course it was! You've just learned to be more discriminating in your same-sex gigs now. The non nine-to-five ones. Or so I hear.

And it ain't: Ben Affleck, Orlando Bloom, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Also eliminated - Jude Law, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn

Top guess - Colin Farrell


blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Love the drama! My guess for One Helpful Blind Vice's Slick Nick is Jude Law. He has been in tons of movies lately, and he is always around women. I really think I've got it?
Springfield, Illinois

Dear Brit-Basher:
Then why are you questioning your last statement? Maybe because the dude-on-dude casting-couch climber ain't Jude? Probably. Good guess, though, my sweet! At least you're very close, vocally speaking."

"Dear Ted:
Last week's Blind Vice is getting to me. I'm thinking Owen Wilson for some odd reason, but maybe it's Vince Vaughn, since they seem to be a new "couple." Oh, please help me out!

Dear Detective Deranged:
A couple of horndogs (for girlies, trust me) is more to the point, my darlin'. You are so damn far off you get the year-end Booby Guess Prize, which is...another very good hint: Triumph, and you shall see the golden light."

blurry vice said...

Some people were buzzing at the time that Colin Farrell was discovered by Kevin Spacey in a play in London?

Unknown said...

colin farrell is a good guess for this one, i was also thinking maybe jonathon rhys meyer or russell crowe

FrenchGirl said...

i like the Colin Farell/kevin Spacey guess

chrstphrrr said...

I like Colin Farrell for this, but with Joel Schumacher. The way JS promoted Farrell in Tigerland, licking his chops, so proud of his was icky.

pikespeak said...

I think you're right, chrstphrrr.

And JS is quite unpleasant.

Anonymous said...

Colin Farrell definetely fits the bill of career, great hair, and notorious babe-chasing; so does the "burps and winks" bit as he's known to be bit of an unkempt man's man. He's Irish, so vocally quite close to Brit Jude Law, as revealed by Ted.

And, quite importantly, as for Ted quote "Triumph, and you shall see the golden light" - he was in the film Alexander in 2004, with his hair dyed golden blond. And: "Triumph of Alexander the Great" is a famous painting!