Thursday, April 15, 2010

Vintage BV: Botox-Bang Slasher

From 3/12/07 -

One Girlie-Gunning Blind Vice

Bet you’d be surprised to hear that Botox-Bang Slasher isn’t the well-behaved home hon she appears to be. B2 was in a hit campy TV show, as well as a string of flicks on the big screen, along with some not so hot movies lately.

Now, B-Bang got hitched to her honey a while back, and she appeared to settle down, keeping a fairly low profile. You don’t hear about this couple fighting; they’re not seen out at Hyde every other night...You get the idea.

But evidently, B.B. did get a little sassy a while back in New Yawk. Botox was spotted full-on making out with another femme in plain public view at a bar. Makes me wonder if she’s really into the girls or just had a few too many and was being silly?

Also can’t help but wonder if her hubby knows about her girl-on-girl lip-locks. Does he know? Does he even care? I’ve heard he might be in to guys himself, so maybe their whole happy Hollywood marriage is a farce?

Like myriad middle-America ones ain’t, either.


And it ain't: Felicity Huffman, Jada Pinkett Smith, Melanie Griffith

Also eliminated: Jennifer Lopez, Debra Messing, Courteney Cox

Top suspect: Sarah Michelle Gellar

19 comments:

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
One of the most popular guesses for last Friday's Blind Vice has been Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. You have said SMG has been a Blind in the past, and to my knowledge, you have not revealed which one, making her ineligible for Cruella St. Shackles. I believe SMG was Botox-Bang Slasher. Am I at least in the right genre?
—D

Dear Gellar Guessing:
Already nixed F.P. Jr. as Cruella's sneaky spouse, so SMG is out of the game for this B.V. Here's a Vice I'm sure SMG would be interested in: Buffying up and slaying vamp hottie Nelly Fang to jump starting her once-relevant career."

crila16 said...

Christina Applegate?

jnp1013 said...

I don't think this is Sarah Michelle Gellar. I remember Ted saying in one of the bitch-back's that hers had to do with her marriage accords. And in another he said that hers really wasn't all that bad.

Franny Glass said...

jnp1013, I think that means this BV could still be Sarah Michelle Gellar. This BV isn't THAT bad (a little girl-on-girl action never hurt anyone) and references her marriage.

literal_chaos said...

I'm torn over the moniker fitting for SMG though. The "Slasher" part would definitely fit for most of her acting gigs. She's mostly recognized for her roles in Horror movies, plus it can work as a synonym for "Slayer", which she played in Buffy. But the "Botox" part is a little confusing, especially since I've never once suspected her face of having any work done to it. Who knows, I could be wrong about that!

literal_chaos said...

Also, the LA restaurant "Hyde" is mentioned, which is where she lives. But she was born and raised in New York, which is also mentioned. BTVS was often referred to as being a "campy" show and it was definitely considered successful. I just noticed that BBS could be a hint for BS, as in Buffy Summers.

I think I'm pretty convinced :) It's definitely not that bad of a vice, thankfully! I love Buffy lol

BROOKE said...

I think it's SMG too. The most shocking part of this is that FPJ is into guys.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
This might be a bit out of left field, but I was wondering about Sarah Michelle Gellar. She has been a favorite of mine since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Is she as sweet as she seems? Are she and Freddie as solid as they seem?
—Allison

Dear Rare Love:
They're certainly more real than most—not exactly sayin' a lot, though."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
After knowing how dirty David Boreanaz's Blind Vice is, would Sarah Michelle Gellar's Vice make us not like her anymore?
—Kathleen

Dear SMG = OMG:
Eh, that depends. I'd say no. But then, must say you really have set up an impossible comparison."

talia said...

from the aia i'd say it's someone older than sarah...

talia said...

maybe someone from baywatch or 90210? i'm not that familiar with the word campy... is it more like "cheesy" or "trashy" or "cheap?

Kate16 said...

I'd say 'cheesy' is the best match. It's like people watch it (and they know on some level that it's bad) and you wonder if sometimes the writers are mocking themselves but it's a good fun guilty pleasure.
If this wasn't from 2007, I might suggest Jessica Alba given how camp Dark Angel was but she wasn't married to Cash then.
I'd describe Alias as a bit campy - What about Jennifer Garner? She's not a major candidate for anything else and then SMG and FPG could be that republican couple!

Ross Family Five said...

I really think this is Jennifer Garner...esp the reference to her being a "well behaved home making hon", and plus, the AIA - Felicity Huffman...JGarner was first on Felicity, as Hannah...where she met Scott Foley.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I just read that The Ringer is one of your top picks for Vicey-goodness behind the scenes this coming season because of Sarah Michelle Gellar. I have to say

I'm shocked! I've loved SMG since the first episode of Buffy aired and I guess I've always bought into the wholesome family persona she's been putting out

there with Freddie. Are you really telling me that SMG sometimes goes by a different name in your Vice Hall of Fame?
—Fuchs

Dear Vice Slayer:
That's right, doll. Sarah's got a Vice, alright, but that doesn't mean you should toss your Buffy DVDs in the can. I know all about her moniker mania and I

still heart her. It's an older Vice, if that helps you sleep better at night."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
This Sarah Michelle Gellar Vice has been driving me crazy since the Buffy days. In the past few years all we can get from you is that it's "old." Well, now

that she's back on TV in Ringer, maybe you'll give us a better hint? Is it perhaps about her skinny frame, cutie husband, or a certain former costar not

known for fidelity?
—J

Dear Vamp Slayer:
Darlin', sometimes the oldies are the best! Sure is the case with SMG, who certainly knows how to keep a red-blooded marriage outta the coffin."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I've been watching Ringer since it started and I love the show. But I can't help but think that Sarah Michelle Gellar looks way too old for her age. What

happened to her? Why does she look like an old lady when she's only in her 30s?
—Noelle

Dear Ring Around the Oldie:
C'mon, N, I think she looks pretty damn good these days. She's not as spry as she was in her Buffy days, duh, but she's a mom now… And a hot one, in my

opinion. If you're asking if there's anything Vicey aging the gal, the answer's no. If anything, her Vice should keep her young for years!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Would Sarah Michelle Gellar's Vice put her marriage in danger, or is it what keeps her and Freddie Prince Jr. together?
—B

Dear Buffy the Vampire Vice:
The latter. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
You have always been clear that being Vicey and being a bad person is not the same thing. I must know.. is that the case with Sarah Michelle Gellar?
—Ringer Around the Rosey

Dear Smart Stuff:
Yep. Love SMG, as I'm sure you do, too. And I don't think you'd like her any less if you knew her moniker."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Will Sarah Michelle Gellar's pregnancy get in the way of her particular Vice?
—Baby Buffy

Dear Freddie Prinze Double Junior:
Methinks yes."

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