One Frigid Fete Blind Vice - January 24, 2006
It's not surprising that Prucella Tight-Tush and Butchy Billfold threw a big bash recently. Hell, this dynamo duo's got a zillion reasons to pop open the bubbly--not to mention a fancy, preened and photographed manse.
No, what's really whack is that anyone showed up to their prissy shindig at all. After all, amigos de Butchy know he's more of a, shall we say, daytime partier. Butchy's bashes tend to be more exclusive, as in...
Only. Hookers. Allowed.
Yep, B. Billfold's idea of a soiree favor is prolly a bottle of Johnny Walker and a dental dam. I'm certain he's safe with the prostitutes he entertains on an alarmingly regular basis. Heaven knows if he got any goo on the gardening tools, Prucella would have his head, fast, damn straight .
Which is what makes Missus Tight-Tush's fiasco of a party so damn amusing, if you ask moi. Picture it: five girls on one side of the room; five boys crammed on the other--including an orgasm-inducing actor who's hot on his comeback. No boy-girl mingling. Radio blasting. Radio! Even during the commercials, dear gawd.
Of course, everyone humored the missus and stayed for the obligatory post-meal chitchat time, wondering how long Prucella and Butchy plan on torturing their guests at these sorry soiress in the future. And the second that socially conscious hour struck, the posh place was deserted.
Hmmm. Will these two famous (and handsome) folks ever combine forces and throw a bring-your-own-vaseline-themed tea party, I wonder? I doubt it. She's way too busy working.
And it ain't: Tom Hanks/Rita Wilson, Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale, Jada Pinkett Smith/Will Smith
Also eliminated: Madonna/Guy Ritchie, Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony
Top suspects: Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Jessica Parker/Matthew Broderick, Jennifer Garner/Ben Affleck