Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Vintage BV - Puissant Phillipe & See-Through Sheila

Thanks to reader cassandra who brought this one up recently... here you go.

One Deceiving Blind Vice - August 3, 2005

Well, not to his girl, at least give the boy that much credit.
Puissant Phillipe has had the most divine and much photographed affair with See-Through Sheila. Folks talk about them night and day, which is reportedly how often the celebrated duo has sex.
Hardly. About the same amount of time See-Through wears a turtleneck is more like it.
Now, even though Puissant (Pissy, to his bestest buds) is actually a fairly sweet dude, it's actually the dudes this previously reported babe-chaser prefers to get down with. He gave an inkling of this information, by the bi, to See-Through, once they first got together.
Also, to be fair to P2, it wasn't until his dalliance with Ms. Sheila was at full-throttle that he realized it was consistently the more manly launch, not the feminine boosters, that brought his rocket to regular blastoff.
Meanwhile, the whole world thinks P.P. is just a plain ol' space cadet, because his cooling off with S.T.S. has begun to leak.

And it ain't: Mischa Barton/Brandon Davis, Jake Gyllenhaal/Kirsten Dunst, Rebecca Rojmin/Jerry O'Connell 

Also eliminated - Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore, Ryan Cabrera/Ashlee Simpson, Justin Timberlake/Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt

Top suspects - Orlando Bloom/Kate Bosworth, Leonardo DiCaprio/Gisele Bundchen, Matthew McConaughey/Penelope Cruz, Lance Armstrong/Sheryl Crow

15 comments:

blurry vice said...

our reader cassandra thinks this may be Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow.

The Spie said...

But if it's Lance and Sheryl, why the space motif in the last paragraph? Is it a clue, or is it just Ted being Ted again? If this was a Brit blind, I'd say this was about Chris Evans and Billie Piper (Doctor Who has just come back at around this time), but they'd broken up a significant amount of time before this blind was written.

Katy said...

Ted said a few days ago penelope hasnt ever been a BV.
I guess its safe to say its Lance and sheryl. The space clue referring to "neil armstrong"... plus he hung out with toothy for awhile looking gayer than gay.

erika said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
erika said...

*Hardly. About the same amount of time See-Through wears a turtleneck is more like it.*

This doesn't sound like Sheryl at all.

Although I agree that Lance seems quite gay. Esp. when he was all bromancing it up with Jake and Matthew.

duffgrl said...

Erika: I think if you read that statement closer-"about the same amount of time See-Through wears a turtleneck"...meaning never; and Sheryl Crow is always seen wearing tanks. So this could definitely be them.

erika said...

good point duffgirl.

cassandra said...

and the when he says "by the bi" that made me think bicycle

Ross Family Five said...

Puissant is French for "powerful." I think that is another hint from Ted, regarding Lance and the Tour De France.

angie said...

Jake Palvelka and Vienna.

C. said...

Not sure about this, but maybe the answer is in the nickname (Humor me if you will) Puissant/Pissy ---> Orlando/Orly? Doesn't work with any of the other top guesses.

Just a thought. ;)

Denise said...

I think it is Leo and Gisele. I just read an article about Leo kicking his 3 year roommate out so that Bar Raphaeli could move in. She gave him an ultimatum and he begrudgingly sent the roommate packing. They (like his romance with Gisele) are constantly photographed and Gisele is not known for wearing turtlenecks...

blurry vice said...

angie - in case you haven't noticed, this is a vintage blind vice from 2005. this is not jake the bachelor nor vienna.

Hilary said...

My only issue with the Lance Armstrong guess is that he's having his FIFTH kid with only half the power most other men have (if you catch my drift)...I mean, can/would a gay man really do that?

000m said...

To Ross Family Five: puissant=powerful=strong? :) ...That would certainly point to Armstrong, and use of French in general could point to Tour de France. The name Sheila is similar to Sheryl.

However, otherwise it seems like an ill fit. The term See-Through and avoidance of boring turtlenecks make me think of someone much more fashionable (works in fashion or is known for her fashion sense) than low-key Ms Crowe. And I'm sure the fact that Ted separetely gives a nickname (Pissy) is a clue. And I'd imagine giving the Vicer a French name means something more directly.

Out of the options so far, Leonardo (aka Leo) - with a European name (though Italian, not French) and model girlfriend - would fit best. And the affair was much-photographed and supposedly steamy. And as for "space cadet" (which I'm sure means something as well), he was in Aviator in 2004..?

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