Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dax Shepard = Harkness Hose?

MTV Punk'd - The Complete First SeasonIn another big mention in today's Awful Truth, Ted basically outed Harkness Hose as Dax Shepard. There were three Blind Vices this summer about Dax and (we previously thought) Kate Hudson. Here is what was written in the Awful Truth today...

Tabs are also talkin' about another new possible coupling besides Jess ‘n’ Tony: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. First, they were spotted makin' lusty eyes at each other at the opening of Koi in Vegas. Later on, they were snapped havin' sushi at Katsuya back here in Hollywood. Since they're both recently single and fresh off relationships, we're gonna predict this is just a little rebound fling. Although we do hear Dax is fairly well equipped and rather kinky, so perhaps he might be able to keep Kristen around? And if you’re wondering precisely just what kind of equipment we’re referring to, well, we have two things to say:
1. Former known princesses (he only likes 'em semifamous or famous, trust) the Daxster’s been into, in one way or another, have contacted us, and they’re hoping Kristen is, um, up for the unusual boudoir challenge.

2. Think Great Dane, not miniature greyhound.
The "Princess" connection alone ties him to the Harkness Hose BV's. Princess Gold-Zinger was once thought to be Kate Hudson. See the following three Blind Vices below...

July 20, 2007 - One Slut Fits all Blind Vice

Princess Gold-Zinger has been blessed with it all (almost, which is where we come in). P.G.Z.’s got the rockin’ puss, a svelte yet still ultrabangable bod and a fairly legit career, which is pretty friggin’ hard to find now in untalented, infamy filled T-town, trust. But, ‘course, not all is well for the fetchin’ actress, who’s got a way with good lines (on screen) and bad boys (off).
P.G.Z. has had quite the rocky love life, fer sure, everything from her public busting up to her hot-and-not hookups post—and some say during—her most famous relationship. But don’t cry for this bitchin’ bitch, I insist. See, she’s never without a plus-one, and she was most recently spotted with quasi-cutie Harkness Hose. Many of you may not be familiar with H2, ‘cause his fame is quite below that of the Princess and her veddy royal fam. Now, I remember funny-honey H.H. most notably from season uno of a popular reality TV show, but since then, he’s appeared in at least one mainstream flop (where the two stars of the film found themselves in a tabloid hot-seat much like her royal highness) and has a few more likely duds comin’ out. So, what has he done to cast a spell on our Princess? Turns out he’s one big kinky freak—with the goodies to back it up! Harkness has been known to send X-rated photos and erotic emails to random women he meets on Myspace and has even met up and slept with some of them. I’m told H.H. is packin’ large and knows how to use his equipment. Able to fill out Gold Trojan Magnums XL, he serves it straight up and apparently damn good. The Princess is currently Hose’s latest utterly smitten gal. But let’s hope H can keep the kink without the creep, now that he’s with P.G.Z. (whose romance should be anything but PG). Who knows, maybe too big may be just right for the lovable golden lass.

And it ain't - Sienna Miller, Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry

August 2, 2007 - One Tush-Tweaked Blind Vice

Oh, I know what all you hets (at least the majority of you straight ones) think. You unshowered types think butt-play is for the boy-on-boy crowd, only. Oh, how very wrong-a-rooney you are. Take Harkness Hose, for ince. We were gabbing ‘bout his terribly naughty, enormously pleasing mattress activities with one Princess Gold-Zinger a few weeks ago (One Slut Fits All Blind Vice), remember? Of course you do. Well, H2 is at it again, online, as I feared he’d be. Don’t these public figures realize they’re going to be friggin’ recognized once they do the in-person deed they’ve just sent a gazillion emails to set up? Ah, well, I guess an engorged member has its privileges—like idiocy. Back to H.H.: He’s hardly being true to the Princess, as everybody and his goss-lovin' mama knew would happen. But it’s not just the doggin' round that I’m reporting for this taboo tuchus installment, it’s the accoutrement with which H-babe (who, by the by, has hideous coiffure and clothing tastes) came a-callin' to his latest e-lover. Pull out the licorice-flavored lube, lovahs, and get ready: “Even though he desperately needs a stylist and more hair transplants,” a recent conquest of H.H. relayed, privately, just to yours truly, “when the boy combs his hair and gets naked…POW!” Cowabunga-kinky, love it! But why the pow-points, exactly, I inquired, like the good little dangler digger I happen to be. “Oh, the boy knows his way around the back end,” answered Harkness’ latest electronically arranged Juliet. “Seriously, the boy is a great f--k,” the body-to-body blabber informed moi—both with his own toys as well as the artificially made variety. My very own own little celeb Deep Throat (or should I call her Deep, uh, never mind) assures me that Princess, too, likes this sexual alternative nooky, who knew? Actually, I did! Jeez, how many gals am I gonna have to end up, as it were, writing these kind of Vices about, huh?

And it ain't - Seth Green, Andy Dick, Nick Lachey

August 9, 2007 - One Power Penetrated Blind Vice
Okay, really sorry to keep it up (pardon the penile pun) on this Harkness Hose dude, but I declare, he’s turning out to be another Toothy Tile—only the straight kind! See, while the world breathlessly coos and oohs over H2’s latest hookup with the very regal Princess Gold-Zinger, Harkness lurks the E-zones of lonely, horny women. That’s right: He hooks up, via online, with gals other than PGZ. But, ‘course, I said that already. It’s just that I have a little additional icky info on the back-door sex H.H. lives to talk his normally hesitant honeys into. Yes, yes, yes, even though I’m hearing from heaps o’ gals who prefer the alternative-nooky route (should I publish these communications next week, or would that just make everybody, including my très conservative editor, Stevie R, wanna throw up?), not all gals are so game. And what, exactly, does Mr. Hose do to get his ladies in the mood for the rather painful procedure? Roses and champagne? A million little kisses to every nether region—and not—of his partner’s bod? Sex-ay dirty talk in her ear, along with a little lobe-nibbling? Nah, nothing so amorous. The answer’s far more mechanical, not at all romantic. H2 has them use a battery-operated vibrator on themselves first. Doesn’t even offer to assist in the dirty deed.
Men. If they weren’t so damn handy when ya need a good sausage dinner, I’d say to hell with the lot of ’em.

And it ain't - Brad Pitt, David Arquette, Matthew Perry
Top guesses:
Harkness Hose = Dax Shepard
Princess Gold-Zinger = ?

*** Update August 22, 2009 - Ted says that Kate Hudson has never been a Blind Vice. We thought for sure she was PGZ!!!

* For Princess Gold-Zinger, as of 4/12/10 - Ted has eliminated Sienna Miller, Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, Paris Hilton, Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz.

* For Harkness Hose, as of 4/12/10 - Ted has eliminated Brad Pitt, David Arquette, Matthew Perry, Seth Green, Andy Dick, Nick Lachey, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jeremy Piven, David Schwimmer, Josh Hartnett.

One Keep-On-Truckin' Blind Vice 11/29

Ted Casablanca's latest Blind Vice in today's Awful Truth...

Pricey Dicey is a mucho gifted performer, everyone agrees on that. The Emmys adore him and occasionally show that fact, come fall. TV fans just go on about the sorta-cutie dude every time they blog, cheer ‘n’ gab about him, which is often. This helps P.D.’s latest boob-tube project, which is a bit o’ a gamble for the network currently employing Dicey’s always amusing talents. Are these check-doling TV suits aware Pricey likes the boys, not the girls? Of course they are. People aren’t dumb in this town, they’re just stupid, know what I mean? Like, come on, these network ninnies actually expect Pricey to be discreet and keep his peter-on-peter ways in private? If they only knew. ‘Cause here’s what P.D. lives to partake in from time to time, whenever he gets the he-man hankering: He gets his horned-up snake on a plane, flies it to a medium-size midwestern town, checks into a nondescript old hotel near a truck stop, which is next to a stripper joint, which is next to a dirty-movie arcade—see where we’re goin’ here? Yep, you guessed it: The “straight” truckers hit the girlie joint, get all worked up, and then stop on over to the arcade to utilize one of the many glory holes, behind one of which Pricey always parks himself. After all, it’s always anonymous, right? Wrong. See, some of those holes are—like Hollywood egos—bigger than others. And while Mr. Dicey was doin’ the deed one time recently, the recipient stuck his eyeball right at the cutout opening and grunted, “Hey, aren’t you on TV?” “Oh, no,” blurted P.D., before promptly going back to work and finishing off the job—an impending orgasm is such a reliable tool for getting a guy’s mind off what you’d prefer him not to be thinking about, don’t you agree? Pricey hasn’t been back to his salacious stomping ground since. But we’re sure that’s merely a temporary situation, much like Lindsay Lohan’s nascent sainthood.

And it ain't: Brad Garrett, Taye Diggs, Alec Baldwin

[OK - some TV actors that come to mind are Kiefer Sutherland, Ray Romano, Patrick Dempsey, Jerry Seinfeld, Charlie Sheen, Zach Braff. Who has a new project that is quite a gamble?
One potential hint that may be something is "snake on a plane". Could that be referring to Snakes on a Plane? I don't know of any famous TV actors in that movie, but Juliana Marguiles is the female star. She costarred with James Gandolfini in The Sopranos. He is Emmy nominated!!! Also the "Pricey Dicey" name could be hinting at gambling.. mafia ties etc.
My guess is that Pricey Dicey is James Gandolfini.]

* Our top suspects: Drew Carey, James Gandolfini, Kelsey Grammer, Jeremy Piven.

More guesses in comments!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Crazy Days and Nights 11/27

Today's blind items from Crazy Days and Nights -

#1 This actor is tough to classify. B list would be the best for film, but he may be A list for television. Anyway, it is going to be revealed soon, so you can debate after the fact how this funny actor should be classified. It seems our actor is starting to mature. Not old, just starting to see some wrinkles. One day our actor experimented with some makeup, and liked the way it looked. Now, our actor never starts his day without applying some makeup to try and give him that younger look. His only change is that he used to hug people, but when the first person got makeup on their shirt, he stopped.

#2 I don't remember if I told you this one or not. The singer who I say is pregnant. Her husband isn't so happy about it. Me thinks he thought his lovely betrothed was still using birth control.

#3 Seems as if this aging rocker's famous daughter has got herself into a little trouble. The partying, fairly new boyfriend has got the daughter doing the cocaine diet, with an addiction to meth thrown in. While her weight continues to drop, she will tell anyone who will listen that she is fine. Meanwhile, she isn't fine, and her hair is even starting to fall out, which is something this family never has.

My thoughts:

#1 - There are too many possibilities... Matthew Perry, Matthew Fox, Kevin James, and Jon Cryer come to mind as being A list TV but B list film. Also Jerry Seinfeld, Zach Braff? There are too many options.

#2 - I say this is Pink!!! Could also be Avril Lavigne or LeAnn Rimes. Maybe Madonna, Gwen Stefani ?? Amy Winehouse?! (let's hope not)

#3 - Kimberly Stewart is my guess. She has been spotted with Tommy Lee. Could also be Liv Tyler, Bianca Jagger, Alexa Joel ??

Monday, November 26, 2007

11/26/07 PerezHilton Not-So-Blind-Item

What “reality” show recently sent out a casting notice looking for a boy that would show their lead star around Paris? Casting love interests, totally real!

"Reality" show...definitely "The Hills"! No secret at this point that it's scripted-and the girls from the show are in Paris now. Pathetic.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

NY Post - Page Six - 11/25

New blind items for Sunday, from NY Post Page Six "Just Asking"...

WHICH Latina pop star's boyfriend is said to have quickly approached a photo agency to buy up all the pictures of himself with an African-American hottie snapped at Tenjune? . . .
WHICH celebrity publicist was fired from her high-profile New York firm after a slew of bad press on her client was published? The flack told everyone she quit her company but in reality was given the ax.

For #1 I am guessing Shakira and boyfriend Antonio de la Rua. They have been rummored to be on the rocks lately. They are supposed to be engaged, but haven't tied the knot yet... she was spotted with Colin Farrell a while back but denied the rumors. I'm not sure who the hottie is though. We're not clearly told if this is a famous hottie or not.

#2 right away we think of Lindsay Lohan's rep quitting just hours before her DUI arrest.... but that was back in July. A more recent guess would be R. Kelly's former publicist Regina Daniels. It is rumored that he asked her to lie for him on the witmess stand in his child porn case. She said that there is a line she just won't cross, or something to that extent. I'm just not sure if she is NY based... if anyone knows please comment so we can solve this. Heather Mills' rep also quit recently but he is male.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Austin Nichols in Awful Truth

Ted Casablanca has made a list of things he is thankful for this year in the latest Awful Truth. Another small hint about Toothy Tile/Jake Gyllenhaal's boyfriend Austin Nichols among Ted's list...

Gossip: How else would we have the chance to gab, surreptitiously as it’s going down, ‘bout off-limit topics such as Laura’s abandoning of Dubya; or Austin Nichols’ romantic challenges; or Ellen DeGeneresreal have-it-both-ways dynamic in her life with the very va-va-voomin' Portia de Rossi, a gal who should found the Girlfriends Guild of America, she’s so expert in her endeavors, both domestic and otherwise? Anne Heche in’t got nothin’ on this Aussie broad.

Also, I like this John Travolta blurb...

  • John Travolta: Drag has never looked so unconvincing on anybody in the history of entertainment (and, trust, with Gywneth Paltrow, that’s saying a lot). But doll-cookie, you play the fine line between real-life faux frolicking and make-believe like nobody’s business. Jake Gyllenhaal could learn a thang or two from you. Now, who’s next on your man-to-man smooch list? Fellow Scientology chum Tom Cruise? Oh, do it, boyfriend! Do you realize the photography hall of fame annals you’d achieve with that one? It’d beat T.C.’s couch-jumping hijinks, no prob.


Thursday, November 22, 2007

NY Post Page Six- Just Asking: 11.22.07

From Page Six today:

November 22, 2007 -- WHICH secret relationship between two editors at an online blog empire almost became public when the woman editor wrote unflatteringly about her hookup with an unnamed, but identifiable male editor on her own Web site? Her short-lived sex partner responded by posting a video of himself simulating sex with a dead fish - a commentary on her lack of animation in bed . . . WHICH single singer/songwriter has a dirty habit of picking up women when he's wasted? He's been spotted stumbling around downtown luring harlots back to his pad.

The first one: not sure but I'm thinking Gawker....
I think the second one is John Mayer. He has been trolling around NYC hotspots ALOT recently-he was just out Butter this week!
the only other person I've heard this about....
James Blunt?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Lainey - Cheap & Crafty 11/19

From laineygossip yesterday -
Cheap & Crafty
No shortage of classless behaviour in Hollywood, and above the maybe gaybe speculation and the drug drama, it’s these stories that are the most shocking: How can the privileged behave so poorly? Especially someone who sounds so elegant? Whose record has been spotless and golden? Then again, it’s always the ones you least expect. In her case however it’s become an M.O., a trail of cheapness wherever she goes. So you know when you stay at a hotel, if the soap and bath products happen to be on the higher end, it’s customary to ask for a few refills and take some home? This of course is standard behaviour for US…because we’re broke! But how about a busy, working actress, married to a busy working man, both with several projects on the go – does it then become less acceptable? Almost shameful? I think so yes. And still she does it wherever she goes – on junkets, on promotional tours, whenever she’s at a hotel, she orders up extras: extra shampoo, extra lotion, even extra bathrobes, taking EVERYTHING home… yes, even the bathrobes. The bathrobes that are washed then used again by every guest staying in that suite, she insists on bringing it all with her. Including the gifts too. She is also not shy with special requests. Lighting fixtures, humidifiers, strollers – kinda major items you’d think would be on loan, right? Wrong. She packs those up with her too. The woman leaves NOTHING behind. The question is: what does she do with it all? Would you believe she gives it to her staff? She saves the little soaps and gels and crafts them into small baskets and presents them to the nannies and the housekeepers as bonuses! Can you imagine? Can you imagine a Christmas gift basket full of hotel shampoos and conditioners? I mean How.F&cking.Tacky.

She says today that it is NOT Kate Winslet or Cate Blanchett. Hmmm... does that hint that it is another British Academy Award actress? Perhaps Helen Mirren or American-turned-Brit Gwyneth Paltrow? For some reason I am thinking Michelle Pfeiffer though. Leave your guess below!

* Top suspect: Rachel Weisz

NYDN Gatecrasher - 11/20

From New York Daily News
Which celebrity "girlfriend" turned up solo at her actor beau's recent party because, several wags joked, he was still busy with his boyfriend?
This is confusing to me... showing up at his party solo? Anyhow... I am going with my favorite beard couple as of late, Toothy Tile AKA Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon.

Crazy Days and Nights Blind Item 11/19

From Crazy Days and Nights -
This B list film actress and her rocker boyfriend have been on and off and on and off. Rumor had it that he broke up with her because he thought she was an annoying twit. As real as that impression may be, it seems that he gave our little actress the gift that keeps on giving. You know that gift that only seems to get better with Valtrex. I heard that she freaked the fuck out. Like freaking out as in I actually typed out fuck. Freaking out as in homicidal rage freaking out. Freaking out as in she checked into a "rest home" for a few days. After concluding that her life was not going to end, she checked out, but you REALLY don't want to mention his name in front of her, and if any woman reading this has ever wanted a lesson on how to get vengeance, you need to get in touch with our actress. It's not Lorena Bobbitt vengeance, but it is really close.
Hmmm... I have a few people in mind for this one.
  • Denise Richards (ex Richie Sambora) - could see being an "annoying twit"
  • Pam Anderson (ex Kid Rock OR Tommy Lee) - but she already has Hep C so would another STD be a big deal to her?
  • Mischa Barton (ex Cisco Adler) - that guy is naaasty!
  • Drew Barrymore (ex Fabrizio Morretti) - but she is A list not B in my opinion.
  • Jessica Simpson (ex John Mayer) - fits with the annoying twit also
Who else???

Monday, November 19, 2007

NY Post Blind Item 11/19/07

NY Post Page Six - Just Asking:

November 19, 2007 -- WHICH leading man has aged a bit since his last major starring role - and so, in an effort to freshen up, got a dye job and an eye lift? Studio execs on the sure-to-be-blockbuster movie he's in are relieved.

I am thinking Brad Pitt. He is getting older now and doesn't have as many women fans since he ditched America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston for skeletor Angelina Jolie. I could totally see his studio execs being worried that he wasn't looking good anymore and needed a makeover. Who else? Nicholas Cage is NOT growing old gracefully in my opinion. And I know Robert Redford is looking very wrinkly these days but that is nothing new. And we all know that Sylvester Stallone has had an eye lift (hello!)... any other guesses?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Toothy Tile in Awful Truth (again!)

Ted Casablanca mentioned Toothy Tile again in his latest column!

Change o' Homo Heart Only a gay can write a headline like the above, okay? Got that? Now that you do (like anybody’s going to pay attention), just be forewarned our very own beloved, closeted Toothy Tile is being further advised to drop his more obviously fey outings and amigos in lieu of more hetero-sanctioned activities—and a lot of Tooth’s queer friends are mad as hell and preparing not to take it anymore! Nervous, T.T.?
And here's the Blind Vice - One Stalled-Out Blind Vice

Time for an update on the world’s not exactly best-kept secret, the actual identity of Toothy Tile, the (now infamous) closeted homo actor who used to want us to know he liked diddling boys in parking lots and everywhere else imaginable. Our inbox is a curious, overflowing influx of both salivating and outraged disenchantment. Why are we delaying things, they scream in cantankerous unison, as if Toothy’s consulting us personally, like we’re the Columbia School of Homo-Outing Journalism or something. We’ll leave that to other institutions of righteous indignation. We here at Awful still say it’s ultimately up to the celeb—not us—to say she or he leans closer to Rosie or T.R. (Isaiah, we are not.) Oh! Oh! Oh! Our fave reader stab—which are all over the friggin’ map these days—at T.T.’s real name? Joel McHale! Come to think of it, J.M. does linger in wardrobe when I’m trying on the latest Ben Sherman...though, it ain’t him. But listen, Tooth, if you’re reading, and we know you are, just wanna give ya a little fairly heated heads-up: Heaps (albeit small heaps, we’ll admit) o’ your pals are contacting us. They’re complaining not only about this damn about-face on your self-proclaimed mission to take a strong stand at letting the world know how down you are to be queer, but they’re more personally peeved, too. Remember all those canceled dinners and parties and such, the ones where your “people” (who would sell their first adopted Chinese kid for a made-up, ass-kissing item in People) said, "Better not be seen with these fagola guys"? Well, the guys are getting more than put out over your arguably ill-advised, sudden distancing. In fact, it’s prolly safe to say your old gang’s more worked up than a dog-lovin’ bitch after Ellen DeGeneres’ ass, and that’s no joke. Watch it.
And it ain't - The Rock, Shia LeBeouf, Steven Weber

There is at least one hint here... Columbia University. Jake Gyllenhaal attended Columbia for 2 years before dropping out in 2002 according to IMDB. Oh Jakey... just come out already. We love ya!!!

Panache Report - 11/13 Blind Items

From Panache Report -

MYRA wrote:This former NBA player is still on the hunt to satisfy his
downlow urges. Although he has been married and been spotted flirting with
Playmates at the mansion, his downlow compulsions have become to strong to
ignore.Rewind:We reported last year that he made a sexual advance towards one of the most handsome black actors on the planet and was rebuffed.Now, we're
hearing, he's was after another black actor (TV), who is similar in statue
(tall) and complexion as the first black actor. Again, he was rejected. His ego
was severely bruised but he has found comfort in the internet.He loves to
patronize black gay homo sites and male escort sites. A few years ago, a white
singer was accused of having offline encounters with men from a gay site. You
can now add our former sports star in the same category.It's rumored that he is
now paying male escorts (incall) on a regular basis.


MYRA wrote:Despite fame and success, a lot of celebrities are lonely. A
black female superstar once told me-after she performed each evening in front of
screaming fans, the only thing awaiting her after the show was a empty hotel
room.Marilyn Monroe was so lonely, she was known to call local DJ's just to have
someone to talk to in the evenings. Over the last several years, females in
sports have exploded and a few have reached superstar status.This particular
black female athlete was recently overheard at a a chi-chi Hollywood restaurant
on her cell phone, begging a man to let her come over for the evening.It got so
bad, she began pleading with him.A few minutes later, she started screaming at
him, then she reverted to begging him again.Then she slammed the phone shut and
flung it across the room and stormed out of the restaurant.Diners were left to
wonder, why would a woman with her fame, money and talent have to beg anyone for attention? Who is she?

My guesses -
  • #1 - Dennis Rodman hitting on Will Smith, Isaiah Washington. We know the white singer is Clay Aiken. Thoughts?
  • #2 - Venus or Serena Williams. Or one of the WNBA payers... ???... not as familiar with names.

Guesses welcome!!! - Blind Items this week

From on 11/14-

Love is Blind. We are not. Project Runway Scandal!
WHICH contestant of the upcoming season is a sore loser? When they got auf'ed off the runway, they threw a gigantic fit in front of Heidi, Michael, and Nina, then stormed off the set screaming swears. It took producers hours to find the contestant so they could finish filming the episode!
I don't watch this show but know others do (momo). Guess away!

Also this one on 11/13 -
Love is Blind. We are not. Models and Rock Stars
WHICH aggressively educated model has a crush on a tattooed pop rocker? She's tried to arrange a play date with the guitar-slinging cutie for several times, but he's declined to give out his digits.
Hmm... I know Cindy Crawford is aggressively educated but she's married. I don't know models well enough to know this. As for the pop rocker, maybe Adam Levine? Please comment if you have a guess!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Crazy Days and Nights - 11/14

Here is the latest blind item from the entertainment lawyer -

Another one from the road. This unrelated lead singer of a rocking family group, went on what he called the VD Tour. About two nights before he went on a world tour, this singer came down with a case of gonorrhea. Instead of getting it taken care of with a shot, he decided to spread the love of VD on the tour. Throughout the entire tour, he would only be with women who would have unprotected sex with him, and therefore have a very strong chance of catching the clap. He would try and spread it to two or three women a night, and by the time the tour wrapped he was convinced he had spread it to at least 200 women directly. He then went home, and got a shot. It is not surprising given these facts, that this STD is not the only STD our rocker currently has. He still never practices safe sex though with groupies. He will with girlfriends, just not women he meets on the road.
GROSS! What a pig!!! An unrelated singer of rocking family group... Van Halen? Who is singing with them these days, Sammy Hagar or David Lee Roth? What are some other family rock groups??

Daily Mirror - Wicked Whisper 11/14/07

Which ageing blonde icon takes a homemade salad to parties and has it weighed before she eats it? The actress recently caused a fuss when she did this at a supermodel's bash.

Hmm... aging blonde icons? Madonna, Goldie Hawn, Meg Ryan... guesses? Keep in mind this is a UK publication. But that doesn't rule anyone out.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Who donated $100 mil to Erie, PA?

Here is a "real-life" blind item. Someone has made an anonymous donation to the city of Erie, PA in the amount of $100 million. The city officials are sworn to secrecy and will not reveal if the donor is alive or dead. Who has ties to Erie, PA that has that much money? This would be a very rich, very generous person who cares about the city of Erie enough to give that big of a donation. Some famous people from Erie include:
  • Ann B. Davis (Alice from the Brady Bunch) - does she have that much money from Brady reruns? Is she dead or alive??
  • Billy Blanks (inventor of Tae Bo) - is Tae Bo still as successful now as it was in the late 90's? I know they keep coming out with new workouts.
  • Patrick Monahan (lead singer of Train) - I don't think Train had enough hits to make that much money.
  • Chris Vrenna (former drummer of Nine Inch Nails) - where have they been recently?
  • Eric Hicks (of the New York Jets) - those NFL guys do make millions!
There are more who I am not familiar with enough to comment on. Of course, the donor could have been just some random billionaire from the area, one of the various businessmen/scientists from the area who have more money than they know what to do with... someone who really thought the city could use some help. Regardless, it was very generous of them. Erie will be changed for the better. Hopefully more rich people will follow this mystery donor's lead and give back to the people!

Any guesses feel free to comment.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Lainey's Blind Item, 11/12/07 - Mute Stones


"She’s kept a low profile, with few new projects in recent years preferring to focus on marriage and on her head. Clearly not enough focus on the head. Because while she’s cleaned up the slovenly habits of riddles past, she’s still as loopy as ever. And still a colossal bitch. Who likes to parade around stark naked in front of her window with the blinds wide open. In a rented house on a well populated street shooting an upcoming movie on location, she can apparently be seen regularly walking around in front of the windows at the front of the house breasts flouncing around freely, oblivious to whoever might be outside. It’s too bad she’s not as chill about her attitude than she is about her body. Yet another star who stalks the set like a tyrant, yet another star who won’t deign to speak to the regular folk. Seems she considers conversation with her a privilege but the honour is granted sparingly and only through “Mute Stones”.


She carries around what people on set have taken to calling Mute Stones and when she isn’t in the mood to converse with someone, she will silently hand over the Mute Stone – those in possession of a Mute Stone are not permitted to speak to her until she takes it back. Perhaps it’s a trick she can pass on to The Unfunny Douche who fired a dude recently for simply looking at him. It’s hard to believe, I get it. You can’t believe people are capable of acting so appallingly. But there are two crews over a hundred strong that can vouch for it, word for word."

...ok - this one is weird. Lainey has sources up in Canada - who is shooting up there now? This sounds like Julia Roberts - but I dont know that she's there right now. Another thought is Ashley Judd - she has had some past emotional issues , which could account for the "head" reference. I will have to think about this one.. although not as scandalous as Ted's latest!
Postscript: Edited to add: the Unfunny Douche is Mike Meyers - really interesting blind item from Lainey some weeks ago. Also - blinditem exposer - Yes - this could be Gwynnie!

* * * Top suspect: Ashley Judd

Crazy Days and Nights 11/12

This guy(gal?) from Crazy Days and Nights is an entertainment lawyer. As with everything I'm not sure if I believe this. Here is their blind item from today.

This one happened over the summer at a festival which had about twenty groups. The headlining group was given a heads up that this A+ list female film actress wanted to meet the band. This actress has a history with bands and it didn't really come as a surprise, except they had no idea she was a fan. The band was really excited though because they had not been headliners long and this was someone they all had crushes on over the years. So, our A list actress shows up and brings a female friend who just went away for some water and then never came back. The actress hung out with the band the three or four hours prior to their set, and was fun and drinking and sharing stories. She did some flirting, but nothing serious. She kind of rebuffed advances from each of the group and just kept saying, "wait until after." Immediately after the show, when they went to their trailer to change, the actress was waiting there. Naked. It was after, and she wanted them. All. Two hours later she had taken them all on several times, and gave them each a sweet kiss before she left. Her female friend was right there at the front of the trailer door as our actress emerged, and even had water. From what I understand this is the first time the actress had taken on the entire group. She has however taken on multiple members of groups, but always after the show.

Again, I don't know if I believe this lawyer!!! Any guesses? Supposedly and A list actress. Drew Barrymore comes to mind... Cameron Diaz, Winona Ryder, Renee Zelwegger are some that have dated musicians. But who would do this? Thoughts??

From NY Daily News 11/4

Don't Shoot the Messenger
Which "SNL" vet is making himself unpopular on the sets of his TV guest spots? "He doesn't bother talking to any of the men," fumes one insider. "He's only interested in flirting with all the girls

This one is from last week's Gatecrasher column. Boring, I know, compared w/ our other more salacious posts. My first thought was David Spade-but he is actually a regular on "Rules of Engagement"...
Norm Mac donald on "My Name is Earl"? Chris Rock on "Everybody Hates Chris"?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

People Ted Casablanca has eliminated as Toothy Tile

JAKE GYLLENHAAL 24X36 COLOUR POSTER PRINTAs requested - Below is a list of people that Ted has ELIMINATED as possibly being Toothy Tile. People write him letters with guesses and he says no to some people, with hints sometimes. The only person he hasn't excluded is Jake Gyllenhaal, who also fits with Ted's hints. We waited for a long time for Matthew McConaughey and John Travolta to be eliminated, and they finally have been. At a future time we may list all of Ted's blurbs about Toothy, and his hints that Toothy is Jake.  In the meantime, we stand by our guess that Toothy Tile is Jake Gyllenhaal.

Ok so here is the list. Originally in 2008, some of the guys on the list are from a thread I found on which discusses blind items as well. Thank you to those who contributed to that! The rest are from researching back into the Awful Truth and keeping up to date on the latest Toothy news. We update as needed, when Ted gives us a new name (one that isn't already on the list!)

50 Cent, Aaron Eckhart, Adam Brody, Adrian Brody, Adrian Grenier, Alec Baldwin, Alexander Skarsgard, Anderson Cooper, Andy Dick, Ashton Kutcher, Ben Affleck, Ben Mackenzie, Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, Brandon Davis, Brandon Routh, Brian Austin Green, Bruce Willis, Carrot Top, Casey Affleck, Chace Crawford, Chad Michael Murray, Channing Tatum, Charlie Sheen, Chris Evans, Chris Klein, Chris Pine, Christian Bale, Clay Aiken, Colin Farrell, Dane Cook, Daniel Craig, Danny Bonaduce, David Duchovny, David Hyde Pierce, David Schwimmer, David Spade, Denzel Washington, Derek Jeter, Dick Cheney, Don Cheadle, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Elijah Wood, Emile Hirsch, Eric Balfour, Ewan McGregor, Gael Garcia Bernal, George Clooney, George Eads, Gerard Butler, Haley Joel Osmont, Harrison Ford, Harry Hamlin, Hayden Christensen, Heath Ledger, Hillary Clinton, Homer Simpson, Hugh Jackman, Isaiah Washington, James Franco, James Marsden, Jamie Foxx, Jared Leto, Jared Padalecki, Jason Lee, Jason Ritter, Jason Statham, Javier Bardem, Jennifer Garner, Jeremy Piven, Jim Carrey, Jesse Metacalfe, Joaquin Phoenix, Joe Jonas, Joel McHale, John Goodman, John Krasinski, John C. Reilly, John Stamos, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, Jon Hamm, Jonathan Bennett, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Josh Brolin, Josh Duhamel, Josh Hartnett, Josh Lucas, Julian McMahon, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, Keanu Reeves, Kellan Lutz, Kenny Chesney, Kevin Costner, Kevin Jonas, Kevin Spacey, Kiefer Sutherland, Lance Bass, Lenny Kravitz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Liev Schrieber, Luke Wilson, Mario Lopez, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Bomer, Matt Damon, Matt Dillon, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Perry, Michael Angarano, Michael Vartan, Mike Myers, Milo Ventimiglia, Neil Patrick Harris, Nick Jonas, Nikki Reed, Orlando Bloom, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd, Peter Facinelli, Queen Latifah, Ricky Martin, Rob Thomas, Robert Pattinson, Robert Buckley, Robert Downey Jr., Ronaldo, Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Phillipe, Ryan Reynolds, Seann William Scott, Scott Speedman, Sean Penn, Seth Green, Shane West, Shemar Moore, Shia LeBeouf, Spencer Pratt, Steven Weber, Taylor Lautner, Ted Danson, Tobey Maguire, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Tom Welling, Topher Grace, T. R. Knight, Usher, Val Kilmer, Viggo Mortensen, Vin Diesel, Vince Vaughn, Wentworth Miller, Will Smith, Wilmer Valderrama, Zac Efron, Zach Braff, Zachary Quinto

(updated 3/24/12)

Thursday, November 8, 2007

One Slippery Grope Blind Vice - 11/8/07

Ted's latest Blind Vice:
"Okay, enough of the hetero, scatological Vices, time for some good ol’-fashioned homo rump-rangin’ activities for an (old) change! After all, when we got that smelly heap o’ emails from folks complaining about the last few stinky-poo Vices—who knew straight people could have such daring fun with excrement?—did you all think we’d actually not return to our well-stacked library of running scared, extremely horny, closeted Hollywood actors? Please.
So, here we are with Seymour Plow-Me-More, multitalented star and performer, both in and out of the bedroom, where he assumes an amazing array of positions, possibilities and partners. But to be fair, when Sey-babe cheats on his hardly naive honey (whose quasi-attractive face seems to harden with each new trick SPMM picks up), it’s usually with good-lookin’ dudes. In fact, it always is. Take this last time, for ince. Academy Award-nominated Seymour was visiting one of Hell-Ay’s myriad spas, which are to Los Angeles what Greek coffee shops are to Manhattan. This time, for Plow-Me-More’s man-hunting mission, he’d chosen one of Hell-Ay’s more outta the way steam-room joints, toward downtown, thinking nobody would recognize him. Are these celebs on crack? Do they really think incognito only kicks in south of Wilshire? Seymour cornered his latest beefy selection, took off his own towel (still impressive equipment, must say, even though what’s holding it all together hardly is), and asked for what Seymour usually requests his partners to do to him—i.e., get his oversize bum diddled. The boy—he was almost a boy—declined Mr. Plow-Me-More’s gracious offer and suggested to fellate the movie star instead, a lovely idea that was accepted and received, by the by. You see, said nooky provider tells us he thought it would be “a bit much” to be corn-holed by Seymour Plow-Me-More in a public steam room. As if a blow job is nothing more than a simple shaking of hands. Well, in sex-for-everything Hell-Ay, s'pose it is."
And it ain't - The Rock, Chris Rock, David Spade

This is a pretty big one, I think! First of all I can't picture someone famous getting into this situation. Academy Award nominated? If this scandal is true he must be very sure of his career and trustworthy of the other guy.

OK so what we can gather is -
  • Academy Award nominated
  • A multitalented performer
  • Has a wife who is hardly naive, quasi-attractive, and who's face hardens - plastic surgery hint?
  • Possibly a comedian (David Spade and Chris Rock hints?)
  • Possibly "rock" related (The Rock and Chris Rock hints?)
I just keep thinking Seymour is Will Smith. He was nominated for an Oscar for playing Mohammed Ali, is in comedy, and music. And if you ask me, Jada Pinkett Smith's face has had some work done. Any thoughts???
photos courtesy of

* Update Nov 2009 - Here is a link to the November 2009 SPMM blind vice, including a full list of who has been eliminated. The SPMM BV from Januray 2010 can be found here. And the SPMM BV from April 2010 is here.  And the Sept 2010 BV is here.

Our top suspect: John Travolta

One Lamentable Blind Vice - 10/12/07

I'm posting this BV of Ted's from October; very intriguing to me...

One Lamentable Blind Vice

"Papa, Can You Queer Me?
Let’s see, who’s left in Hollywood who could possibly be gay? Well, somebody who’s taken huge pains to appear not so, and now he very much regrets it—don’t tell the wife and kids, for it’s Blind Vice Friday!
Ferris Bueller's Day Off Movie (Matthew Broderick) Poster Print 80s - 24x36
Corny Beefy is actually such a swell guy, we kinda hate to write up this little Blind baby—but hell, we got mouths to feed, right? I mean, that mutt Margo is getting to be a demanding little gourmet bitch!
Quite unlike aw-shucks C.B., although, we must admit, Corny-doll certainly looks like he's been hittin' a lotta food bowls lately, gourmet or otherwise. Was that snitty of us to say? Well, it's kind of an important deet, actually, as Mr. B used to be such the doable little hon. 'Course, he still is (more so when he's filming), in between fat phases. Aren't we all allowed one?
Tattletale truth be told, I think Mr. Beefy's reoccurring poundage is due to an emotional sitch, as is often the case with altering bod phases. See, C.B. was married a few years ago, got the missus preggers, but—how can we put this?—something's been missing in Beefy's life ever since he chose the white-picket-fence route. Could that something be an object shaped more like a salami, less a Hot Pocket? Boy-on-boy bingo!
“He now regrets not coming out, as he sees more and more people doing it,” fessed a close amiga to Corny-babe. “His wife doesn't know. Hardly anyone knows.” (But some sure do!)
Yes, as is so often the case when we embark on the Blind Vice alleyway, we are discussing yet another closeted fake-hetero homo movie star. How utterly surprising.
Too sad, really, as not only is Corny sweet as his (in-shape) tits, he's also a most politically aware, very astute guy. So, why give in to this ersatz way of life?
“He thought he could wish it away,” adds the loose-lipped bosom buddy. Hmmm. Is that what he was hoping for when he was a hooker, before he became famous? Or was it just a successful career he wanted back then? We wonder.
Can't have everything, Corny!"
And It Ain't : Ben Stiller, David Boreanaz, Will Smith
Ok-my guesses are:

1. Matthew Broderick - has a corned beef sandwich named after him in a famous NY deli,married w/ child, seems to fluctuate w/ weight..

2. Tobey Maguire - Fits almost everything except he JUST got married in September. He cooks as a hobby, weight yo-yos, slims up for spiderman. Also-there's this letter:

"Dear Ted: After having seen recent pics of Val Kilmer, could he possibly be Corny Beefy? Trish St. Paul, Minnesota Dear Gay Gumshoe:Another quite good shot, my Twin City chica! Alas, ain’t the once highly doable Kilmer, think somewhat similar franchise, though...."
Franchise: Superman(Tobey). Val Kilmer was Batman...
Also,this post of Ted's from 10/24:
“Yeah,” added the loose-lipper, who also said Tobey’s too busy working on his new flick, Brothers, with Jake Gyllenhaal, to play. Poker, that is.
Regardless, Tom, you and Tobey are about the same stature, wanna give All Out: The Tobey Maguire Story, a try? You’d be deliciously dangerous but victorious; you could save your whole M:I franchise! How ‘bout it?"

(Notice the "All Out" capitalization?? Def a clue) That Ted,so clever.
He has ruled out Ben Affleck and Adam Sandler-mentions though in the Ben Affleck letter that C.B. also has"questionable hair". Hmmmm....
As for the mention of "when he was a hooker" ? I have no idea.

#3 guess: Matt Damon. Not sure if his weight fluctuates though...

List of people Ted has eliminated: David Boreanaz, Ben Stiller, Will Smith, Ben Affleck, Val Kilmer, William Baldwin, Heath Ledger, Tobey Maguire

Thoughts anyone? Not sure about the"and it aints" either. They are clues somehow...

*** Update - Top guess is Matthew Broderick.

NY Post - Just Asking 11/5/07

Monday's New York Post, Page Six "Just Asking" asked the following:

"WHICH struggling starlet is as obnoxious and stuck-up in real life as she is in her terrible teen flicks? She was rude and cruel to the staff and to a young fan during a free meal she chowed down at a high-end Midtown restaurant."

Hmm... terrible teen flicks? Obnoxious and stuck up? Struggling? I'm thinking Lindsay Lohan. Sure, this could be one of the High School Musical girls, Ashley Tisdale or Vanessa Hudgens. But those HSM movies were hits, weren't they? Terrible to some, yes. But I think this is someone who's movies have bombed and is having struggles in real life. Isn't Lindsay in Utah though, rehabbing it? I know she has been in CA recently.... If she has been in NYC recently, my guess is her. Otherwise, I'd pick Ashley Tisdale, who's character in HSM is the obnoxious one. Either way, not too exciting of a blind item!
Photos courtesy of

Monday, November 5, 2007

Jake Gyllenhaal = Toothy Tile

One of Ted Casablanca's top Blind Vice subjects is Toothy Tile. He has covered him for a few years now. He is a closeted gay actor. Ted has excluded MANY actors but has never excluded Jake Gyllenhaal. Toothy supposedly has a serious boyfriend, who is suspected to be Jake's close bud Austin Nichols. In future posts we shall dissect Toothy Tile in more detail. But for today I will just share the nugget that appeared in Ted's column today. It was a blurb about the so-called relationship between Jake and Reese Witherspoon. Here Ted hints that we should not believe the hype...

"If you regularly read this column, you prolly know we haven’t exactly been gulping down the Gyllenspoon Kool-Aid like the rest of the rags, wonder why? Something about the sudden PDA sessions in front of the paps right as Rendition premiered smelled stinky to us—among sundry other suspect celeb goings-on. But that was all before we saw the pics of Jake (or supposedly of Jake, as he was wearing a giant gorilla costume) trick-or-treating with Reese’s tykes, Ava and Deacon. 'Cause, surely, if southern sweetie Reese is not only introducing Jake to her kids and having them all spend holidays together, there must be something more to their relationship...right? Unless...of course, it’s all just one big PR ploy to sell a dead movie, and certain other parties—who mysteriously don’t make it into press-release-esque photos of the dimpled duo—have always been there in the background, too, and Reese and Jake are just good buds. For ince, could Ryan still be hangin' round, trying to slink back with his fresh ex? Just a question here, dearies, and a preachy proviso to not always gobble up everything you read, this missive included."

Also, later in the column, Ted mentions Jake's close bud Austin Nichols when suggesting that Reese and Jake to to a basketball game like he used to do with his buddy. Hmmm... I am taking today's comments as a big affirmation from Ted that Toothy is Jake G! I don't believe the Reese rumors for a second. I smell a big ol' publicity stunt!
Photo courtesy of

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Dorrell Sausage - 11/1/07 Blind Vice

Ted Casablanca's column on - The Awful Truth - is our fave. Here is his latest Blind Vice.

"Dorrell Sausage usually loves getting attention, but this time could be different. See, Dorrell’s a fairly good guy (depending on whom you ask, ‘course). He’s pleasant enough looking, in an old International Male catalog kinda way, that’s fer sure, and, supposedly, Dorrell’s well endowed. But isn’t that comparing biz usually best left to the eye of the benefactor? Regardless, what is Sausage’s claim to fame? We’re not exactly sure. But let’s see. D.S. is from semifamous lineage, does some boob-tube work now and again and he dabbles in music and design. What fun! But natch, he also loves to date the famous femmes, which is probably why we started talking about him in the first place. Except that our boy Dorrell has gone and gotten himself in a pickle, as it were—due to his very own pickle, as it further were. Seems Mr. Pee bedded some random, nonfamous babe and didn’t use protection. And he didn’t get (or give) any nasty hickies, but he did go and get the girl knocked up. And guess what? She wants to keep it! D.S. is terrorized in his tidy whities at the paternal prospect. 'Cause if she does, it’ll be the one time Dorrell'll be wishing he didn’t have headlines harkin’ all about him."
And it ain't... Shia LaBeouf, Tony Romo, John Mayer

My first thought - Dorrell Sausage has been used before in a previous BV! Who was he? Then as I read on I realize it has got to be Brody Jenner. Famous family, not really famous for anything but dating famous chicks. He's dated Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, and Lauren Conrad to name a few.

Also, more proof - in Ted's column on 10/31, he said -
"Scary merde’s goin’ down in T-town right now! For ince, Ryan Gosling ain’t the only nooky-lovin’ lad who’s keepin’ his sex antics on the down-low these days, as Brody Jenner’s said to be quaking in his little booties lately. Wonder why? Because dad Bruce and sassin’ stepsis Kim Kardashian are kickin’ his headline-lovin’ hot bum right now for somethin’ fierce? Good question."

For Ted to mention this the day before the BV is a big hint. Ted usually mentions the subject of his BV in his column either that same day, or sometime that week. and this ins't just a mention - it's a big ol' hint! Now we pretty much have just confirmed it. So now Brody Jenner has possibly gotten some random chick pregnant. Great! Another offspring of Bruce Jenner, decathlete and plastic surgery survivor. Woop dee doo! I have to say I am not too excited about this one. Who cares about Brody Jenner anyway? Is anyone else tired of reading about the cast of The Hills?

Anyway, here is the original Dorrell Sausage Blind Vice I was talking about before - this is from 10/1/06 - One Headling Grabbing Blind Vice -

"There's no denying that Dorrell Sausage is hot 'n' hunky. His semi-famous name and chiseled mug have been increasingly featured in the rags lately, thanks to a string of high-profile romances. And this ain't by accident, damn straight. D.S. went from dating a cute, fairly well known chica to supposedly seeing Pixie Mixie, tabloid darling. See, the D-man wants to be (more) famous himself, imagine that in this me-me-me enclave! And after a halfhearted stab at the spotlight on his own not so long ago (prior to Pixie time), it seems Mr. Sausage--a somewhat cognizant realist with thin lips, thicker things elsewhere--realized it's way easier to get press when you're attached to an It creature. Indeed, Dorrell's latest cutie-coupling has gotten tab headlines, fer sure. "It's getting serious!" all the rags proclaim, alongside pics of the two honeys holding hands and swappin' spit. Howevah, just reminds me of one of those Teri Hatcher spreads--all pose, no meat to go with the paparazzi potatoes. See, Dorrell has been sober for a while, even though he "used to drink entire bottles of tequila," said one of D.S.'s ol' imbibing buds. Nevertheless, Mr. Sausage has since cleaned up his act and is now busy denouncing drugs and hard partying. More unhungover intrigue: Pixie is D.S.'s sober sponsor, which explains why they're spending so much time together. "They're really just friends," according to my chemical-free source. But this tricky twosome so knows that playing coy with the press and letting themselves be linked equals double the headlines and even more media attention. Seems good old-fashioned fame is the real drug of choice for both of them these days!"

This was obviously Brody Jenner back in 2006. Pixie Mixie we are pretty sure was Nicole Ritchie, based on multiple BV's written about her a while back. She was just outta rehab and he was sponsoring her or something. They claimed to be friends and then broke up. I will have to post the Pixie Mixie BV's and my rationale for those one day. I know she was kissing other chicks and was said to be bisexual. A few other ones, drug related I think. But for now - I'm all sausaged out. It's been fun! Join me next time...
photo courtesy of

Blind Items Exposed...

Welcome to Blind Items Exposed. Join us, a group of four sisters, as we try and figure out who the subject of various "blind" columns may be. It is a guilty pleasure of ours to read gossip columns and I suspect it is yours too, or you wouldn't be reading this right now! Come on, admit it. We all have our suspicions of which celebrity is gay, snorted coke in the bathroom at Hyde last week, who is watching porn on set of their latest movie... all that good stuff. Are they all true? Maybe not, but they are fun to guess who they might be. We discuss them with family and friends, but need to sort out our thoughts on all of them right here. We will talk about some intersting blind items, post our guesses and the reasoning for such. You are welcome to post comments of your own guesses, with any evidence to support your claim. Have fun everyone!