Blind Vice: Hall of Fame Party This Weekend!

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice: Hall of Fame Party This Weekend!

They'll all be there! Well, almost all: Fake à la Ferocity, Topher Hairy-Tuchus, Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle and even one of my personal oldie-faves, Trent Spent!
What fun the Academy Awards will be, after all (since we all pretty much know who's going to take home gold, right?), sniffing out all that award-winning private Hollywood Vicing:
Let's see, here are a few things to look out for while you're so busy judging (and cheering!) what everybody's wearing.
Take note:

• Fake à la Ferocity has not completely gotten off the synthetic heroin she gets prescribed to her by various fancy doctors round town, but she is indulging less than she used to. I guess that's progress, right? Absolutely! Her head's in the right place—and direction—and her family's way happy about this news, trust.

• Topher Hairy-Tuchus, after much finger-pointing and bitching from his peeps, has pretty much given up online hooking up. Just not entirely. And between you and mean and a million other folks, let's just say Fake à la, above, stands a much better chance of ultimately cleaning the Vice outta her life than does our eternally horny Topher. Poor thing (or not).

• Trent Spent sold his Vice soul to the domestic devil years ago—news that saddens us every day. After all, nobody had more naughty and mischievous sexual potential than the gorgeous, often insecure bisexual star. But then he met his match and got all cleaned up, dammit! Total waste for everybody except his Trent's lucky S-O-B S.O., ‘course.

• Chuck Finger-Dingle is in so many ways the new Fake à la Ferocity. Bitchy and bossy for days, more talent than she really knows what to do with—and a completely equal-opportunity sexual ladder climber. Only thing is, most likely Chuck's going to keep treating her conquests like the crap she so often does and we see a major, major backfiring in the babe's life sooner than later—and we don't just mean professionally.

• Oh, and guess what? Fey Oiled-Tush will also be on hand for the super-exciting Oscar Sunday, cannot wait. But the thing is, Fey, who's so busy reheating his career, has gotten overwhelmingly caught up in the A-list projects he's totally busy with that he's completely forgotten that we'd all prefer to be gossiping about his kinky-on-the-floor activities. So don't forget to have some fun with all that podium banter you've been so busy with lately, Fey!

All work and no same-sex play a boring movie star makes!
And They Ain't: Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lawrence, George Clooney

Good stuff, Ted! Great mashup of classics from the past.

Newbies, please use the label below for a link to our posts on the previous BVs about each name, including a full discussion and lists of who has been eliminated for each.


Top suspects:
Fake-a-la Ferocity: Angelina Jolie
Trent Spent: Brad Pitt
Fey Oiled Tush: Tom Cruise 
Chuck Finger Dingle - ?
Topher Hairy Tuchus - ?

Lainey - Thin For Nothing

Sorry this is late!  New riddle from Lainey, from Tuesday 2/21 -

Thin For Nothing

Lower tier actress - you know her name - is desperate for a big(ger) break. When she heard The Director was working on a new blockbuster, she begged and begged for a meeting. And he repeatedly kept dicking her around, cancelling at the last minute, making her wait for a couple of hours before sending the assistant  out to tell her he wasn’t showing. I mean, he’s a legendary misogynist. And there’s nothing he likes more than playing mind games with young actresses.


Though he has no intention of putting her in his movies, he’s having a great time f-cking up her head. So he sent word that he might agree to see her but only if she loses some weight. This girl was fit to begin with. Like really fit. So she’s starving herself to let go of an extra 10, even though there’s not much there to begin with. But it’s not like it would help. Again, he’s just doing this because he can, for sh-ts and giggles, because he’s a twisted f-ck. As he explained to a colleague, “That girl is regular person pretty, and not even really regular person pretty. Definitely not hot enough for one of my movies.” And it’s like he’s almost insulted that she thought she was. Which is why this game, this game is just his way of putting her in her place, of punishing her for actually thinking she’d be good enough, sexy enough, to be his new model muse. He justifies it by saying he’s giving her a “life lesson”. Oh, and “if she offers me a blowjob, I’ll take it. One of these days, maybe I’ll throw her a favour”. Sad part is...she’s coming close to it. She’s coming very close.

Update Lainey has eliminated: Kate Upton

Top suspect:

Blind Vice: Hothead Actor Flaunts Fists, Taunts Costar!

New BV from Ted today.  An old character returns...

Blind Vice: Hothead Actor Flaunts Fists, Taunts Costar!

Just in case you were wondering if Sock-It-To-You Sleazewad likes to get his fists up for somebody other than his partner, we have the first-hand answer for you: Yes.

That sure is a shocker! What really is a surprise is the public venue Sock-It chose for his latest display of cave-man-like taunting:
The dumbo good-looking dude actually chose the set of his latest picture, The Brooklyn Effect, to let people know just how much he loves talking with his fists, not just his mouth.
Sleazewad's handsome—and younger and fitter—Brooklyn costar is probably considered more of a method actor than is Sock-It, who is more out-there with his emotion. Mr. Costar is a bit more cerebral, keeps to himself, has been Oscar-nominated for his coolness, both personally and professionally. Which apparently drives Sock-It absolutely cuckoo!
"You think you're better than me?," Sock-It shouted to his fellow actor on set recently. "You have a problem with me?"
And while Sock-It was blasting the poor dude with questions (not giving him a chance to answer), Sleazewad kept slamming his fist into the palm of his hand, over and over, and then he kept striking the air wildly, as if a human target was going to be next in a matter of seconds.

But, even though Sock-It kept escalating his voice, and pounding his fists even harder, Mr Costar held steady, never quavered or said a word. Damn, that boy's got not just abs of steel, but, nerves, too!
Meanwhile, film's producers were terrified and ran to the hair and makeup trailers for cover.
All we have to say is that Sock-It's poor woman at home must have ear plugs permanently imbedded in her ears. Now, if only she'd dump this jerk!
And It Ain't: Jensen Ackles, Chris Brown, Robert Pattinson

Please use the label below for a link to our post on the previous SITYS BV, including a discussion full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Josh Brolin

Bonus Blind! Hip Multi-Talent Makes as Ass of Himself ... Again

New BV from Ted yesterday -

Bonus Blind!  Hip Multi-Talent Makes as Ass of Himself ... Again


Ya know how there are those Vice stars that you just love to hate?
Well, Coco Bop-It isn't one of them. We actually just hate him. What with his cocky ‘tude and complete lack of respect for women—though he'll claim that's not at all the case, and merely a past problem. Well, apparently not…
Because Coco is still reigning as douchebag supreme.

Need proof? We'll give it to you twofold:
First, Coco was out on the town for those swanky Grammy afterparties this past weekend. Did we mention he's addicted to hipster parties? He is and he tends to actually get a decent amount of attention for his "craft."
But even more for his bad behavior. Especially when it involved chicks.
See, at this party—where the booze was flowing and babes came by the dozen—Coco (and his million-man posse) created their own VIP section in the back and his team made sure Coco had all the privacy he needed to do whatever it is that he does (actually, more on that in a sec).
Including manhandling a woman for taking a picture. One beefy member of his crew was so sure she was sneaking a pic of Coco that he shoved her, grabbed her camera and got in her face, calling her names and threatening her if she dared take another snapshot.
Funnily enough, if he'd just taken the time to look at the pic, he'd have seen it was a picture of the babe's friend. A close-up picture. But when she burst in to tears, Coco continued on with his night (for the record, he's all for this overly physical stance).
So what was Coco doing that was so secretive?
Cheating on his girlfriend. And not with a famous broad like some tabloids like to suspect from time to time. With some chickie with a low-cut neckline and high hemline that stayed inches from his crotch all night.
So, if you were wondering whether Coco ever changed, the answer is: Hell, no.
AND IT AIN'T: John Mayer, Adam Levine, Sean "Diddy" Combs

Top suspect: Chris Brown

Lainey- When she conceived 2/15/12

New Lainey riddle

When she conceived...

She’s pregnant. It’s still early but she’ll start to show soon. And she’s happy, they’re both happy, but also really, really freaking out. Because around the time of conception, they were both using rather frequently. It’s just what they do together. Besides, she thought she was past the point of another child. So it was a surprise, to say the least. A pleasant one, yes, but she’s not sure if it’s one she wants to keep. She is convinced the child will not be right. She is convinced, in her mind, in her words, that she’ll “be paying for it” for the rest of her life, in the form of care and stress, and that this will be her punishment for such recklessness - to be attached to a kid that will need her, in ways she’s afraid to imagine, forever. She’s also super paranoid that if she does have their baby and the baby has health problems, he’ll turn and blame her, and be disgusted by her, and leave her. Without all his access, it’s a totally different life. And ultimately she still wants to be desired, she prioritises being desired. It’s a decision she is agonising over but she’s running out of time.

The good news? The drugs have stopped completely.

Update Lainey has eliminated: Sienna Miller, Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Leslie Mann, Claire Danes, Vanessa Paradis, Cindy Crawford, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Ritchie

UPATE 2/28: Lainey has revealed this to be Uma Thurman

Blind Vice! Nevis Divine's Sad Past

New from Ted yesterday -

Blind Vice!  Nevis Divine's Sad Past



As we've established, the yummy ‘n' handsome star Nevis Devine likes both girls and boysmostly avoids little spats with costars and doesn't mind having some of his male BFFs double as daytime nookie partners, whenever Nevis is so inclined. (what fool who wants to keep all his options open doesn't?),

But basically, Nevis is as happy as he is horny in life! With one small exception…

Recently, Nevis has been giving some eyebrow-raising press interviews. It's not his usual jovial and aw-shucks stuff—which Nevis has always been most excellent at delivering.
Also, it's no secret Mr. D.'s been hitting the sauce a lot, as of late. Partying too much, as well.

And the latter reasons are why most folks seem to think Nevis has gotten more melancholy lately—publicly, at least.
But it ain't the reason.
The real culprit behind Nevis's more bummed-out moods these days has to do with a good friend becoming pregnant. It started getting Nevis much more sadface than he usually is.
Why? Well, not just because he loves kids and wants his own one day, but more specifically, because there was a private tragedy in his family a few years back involving a child—and few know about it. And Nevis doesn't like to think about this unfortunate chapter in his life—in fact he makes an absolute point not to. But his pal's good news has just brought it all crashing back down on him again, and N.D. just doesn't know what to do besides screw around and get high—and avoid it all.
Sorry you're feelin' down, Nevis. But cheer up, we're sure you'll have your own family one day soon!
AND IT AIN'T: Adrian Grenier, Patrick Dempsey, Josh Brolin

Please use the label below for a link to the many previous Nevis BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Robert Pattinson

Bonus Blind Vice! Footballer's Secret to Success Revealed!

Missed this bonus BV from Sunday...

Bonus Blind Vice!  Footballer's Secret to Success Revealed!


You've got the chips and dip and buckets of beer…and I've got the Blind Vice, sports fans.
I know you adore our more athletic Vice stars (like scummy Pepper Harthman and scummier Taller Baller), so to celebrate the holiest of football days I want to introduce you to Albie Ass-Slapper, a stud whose been Vicing in front of your eyes the whole season:

You heard me: Albie is getting Vicey on the field.
Well, actually his Blind biz starts in the locker room before the game...but we'll get to that in a second.
Trust me, you've heard of Albie before: He's got a way with the old pigskin, which makes him mucho talked about on all those postgame sportscasts.
On top of that, his scruffy jawline and killer six-pack makes AAS very easy on the eyes.
But back to Albie's Vicey sports skills: He's got quite the arm and can Hail Mary with the best of ‘em, which has landed him in tons of big games. Not today's Super Bowl, but whatever.
So what's Albie's secret to success?
Icy Hot…on his junk.
Yep, before he hits the field, Albie likes to slather up his undercarriage with a gel that makes his stuff…well, we hear it burns like hell. But Albie is all about that "no pain, no gain" mentality and believes his pregame ritual makes him throw further.
So there you have it. Hmmm, wonder what kind of secrets the studs hitting the field today are hiding. Who knows, they all might be Icy Hotting it!
And as for Albie, well you've finally got a Vice moniker—just like all those H'wood chickies you're into.
AND IT AIN'T: Jay Cutler, Eli Manning, Tom Brady

Top suspect:

Blind Vice! Veronica Bee-Stings Hides Dirty Past to Land New Hunk

New from Ted today... Veronica Bee-Stings returns -

Blind Vice!  Veronica Bee-Stings Hides Dirty Past to Land New Hunk


Whoever said a woman scorned is the thing to fear never met Veronica Bee-Stings!  'Cause, baby, it is our experience that a woman in love is far more dangerous! 


Like the time Veronica was all smitten with that married dude, or the more available (but still shady) guy she had before him, the one she got the boob job for.
So, what's Veronica doing for her latest love?
Pretending none of the others ever existed.
Really, it's like she's Britney Spears or something getting some Vegas marriage annulled!

Veronica is so into her latest man—admittedly a catch of a guy who's possibly worth rewriting your past love life over—she's busy telling friends not to tell the current guy nothing much of anything went down with all those past loves of hers.
And, trust us, there are many, many past amorous hook-ups for VBS—and not all of them just to get acting roles, either. Some were actually just for fun!
But there's something about this new dude VBS has landed that doesn't—how shall we put this?—doesn't really click with reality. Or perhaps he chooses not to see things as they are because the nookie's so good?
Oh, yeah, that's it: completely forgot New Dude is still so steaming from his last nookie sitch (in which he got royally dumped), he'll do anything to make it look like he's immediately taken again by a hot young thang—even if he's that thang's millionth thang!
Hey, wouldn't be the first time the male animal took such an approach.
But, three cheers to Veronica for her ballsy moves, huh?
AND IT AIN'T: Eva Mendes, Carey Mulligan, Kate Winslet

Top suspect: Blake Lively
New Dude: Ryan Reynolds

Please use the label below to read our previous posts on the VBS BVs, including a list of who has been eliminated.

Blind Vice! Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!


Meet Soheila Stuff-It. She probably won't remember meeting you, but what difference does it really make?


‘Cause that's the way Soheila likes it—drugged up halfway to Brigadoon to escape the burdens of being the downtrodden diva that she is. And when she's not partaking in a dabble of this or a hit of that, you'll likely find her drowning at the bottom of a bottle.
It's all terribly, terribly sad. Which is why Ms. Stuff-It's peeps are desperate to get the star into treatment stat. To which the always stubborn Soheila says:
Hell, no!
See, Soheila hasn't exactly had an easy go of it lately (despite the fact that she has the most gorgeous hair!).
But instead of trying to get better or, ya know, even just talking about her issues, S2 prefers to handle things her own way. And a trip to rehab is so not on her To Do list anytime soon. Or ever, if Soheila has anything to say about it.
Which, actually, she does.
See, Ms. Stuff-It isn't a pushover. In fact, she's made a name for herself in this town by being a tough chick who doesn't back down.
Which is why we're so sad to see her destroying herself…again.
That's the other terribly, horribly sad thing about all this. This isn't the first time Soheila has spiraled. It's all happened before and even though she slapped a smile back on her face and chitchatted about how fab she was feeling, underneath Soheila was the same damaged, messed up broad she was before.
To which we say: Hey, Soheila, relapse happens. Heck, it's practically expected. But it's time you give up your pride—and partying—and straighten yourself out.
We have far more faith in you than, say, Morgan Mayhem or Mimi Kitten. And we just hate seeing you be so blasé about your life, babe.
Oh, and if you stop hooking up with bisexual men, Soheila, that too just might lead you on the way to recovery, just a suggestion!
AND IT AIN'T: Angelina Jolie, Kim Richards, Mischa Barton

Update 2/18/12: Ted has also eliminated Sinead O'Connor, Whitney Houston

Top suspect:  Heather Locklear

Blind Vice: Chuck Finger Dingle Returns...

New BV from Ted Friday Jan 20 -

Blind Vice: Sexual Carnivore Charlotte Switches Teams for a Great Movie Role!


We've already all fallen in love with Charlotte "Chuck" Finger-Dingle and her sexually impressive resume of bedding Hollywood's power gals. This particular beauty seems to thrive and simply glow inside the more women she beds, but guess what?
Chuck's also got a hot career going, which actually means more to her than her ambitious (and athletic) love life, so Charlotte just added something very different to her woman-eating Hollywood climb:

A man.
Yep, that's right! And, of course, not just any man, but a very, very powerful and über-talented man!
One who just happens to be directing Charly in her latest project. But that's not all.
Wanna know what's really weird about this one? No, not that Chuck has so seamlessly switched from women to men just for the sake of a great role (trust us, lots of celebs have made that switch in this town for far less than a spectacular role), but the fact that Chuck's new man has a woman who's totally OK with this arrangement!
Uh, are we watching a real-life episode of Sex and the City, only with Chucky's lover's other half doing the same thing Samantha would?
Apparently.
Either that or the director's woman knows full well that Charly's first preference is for the ladies, and she'll be bored diddling the director dude soon enough.
Only problem is, the way Charly's hanging all over her lover in public (not to mention in private), that sexual fade-out doesn't appear to be occurring anytime soon.
AND IT AIN'T: Jennifer Lawrence, Naya Rivera, Dakota Fanning

Please use the label below to go to our post on the previous CFD BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Rooney Mara

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

New from Ted yesterday, January 13 -

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!


Isn't it funny when somebody like Strawberry Snort 'Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check. Cool digs? Beyond-average talent? Check. Back-stabbing besties? Check! But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!
But, this Vice isn't about Strawberry, it's about a dude who never, ever wants to be in Strawberry's lovelorn position: Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
And even though Topher's determined to not get caught in love again (he's had a couple of bad breakups), he's not at all averse to getting caught in lust:
As we first told you,Topher's into the anonymous sex thing. And whereas we used to think it was just because Mr. Hairy-Tuchus, like many men in Hollywood, is just a plain ol' closeted actor, well, that's not the only reason he likes to get it on with other guys on the down low.
"He's just done with love, that's all. It's not so much his career, which is what everyone thinks," says a pal who knows Topher both personally, and professionally.
Whoa. So Topher's not so designing in the love department as much as we first thought? Amazing!
Because Topher sure has been giving us all a run for his red-carpet money lately with various sexy ladies by his side—and then some.
"No, no, no," added our Topher source. "He's just horny. And permanently non-committed. It's really that simple. The chicks are a cover for his [sex], not so much his career, get it?"
Do we ever. And here we thought Hairy-Tuchus was some kind of grand, scheming Toothy Tile, who knew!
Just remember, Toph, play safe!
And It Ain't: Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling

Please refer to the link below for our posts on the previous Topher Hairy Tuchus BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

(also see the post on the Strawberry SnortEm BV)

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Happy new year!  We are getting caught up on the first week of the new year.  So much gossip already -  Divorces, engagements, and pregnancies!  We'll be covering all of it... let's start with Justin Timberlake shall we?  Here's Ted's latest Blind Vice, from today in Awful Truth.

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he's known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry's life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he's been a bit down, as of late.
Pray tell, why?
Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud's best pals know that Jerry's true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.


Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!
Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.
And the mama's boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he's on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.
And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.
Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.
And It Ain't: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous JRB and CJ BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: still Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

(older ex-girlfriend: NOT Britney Spears. Top suspect = Cameron Diaz)

Blind Vice! Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Rockstar Reeks of Playboy Ways!


You'd think that buckets of moolah, tons of adoring fans and a hot chick at your side would be enough.


Not so for Lesley Grotto, one of those swoon-worthy rock star types with the slick moves and killer abs. See, Les has all of that (including a knockout gal most dudes would kill to canoodle with) but—surprise! surprise!—he wants more, more, more.
Especially when it comes to chicks. ‘Cause let's be honest...
Lesley is a straight up dawg!
You wouldn't know it though because when he's around his "special" lady (especially when there are cameras around) Lesley is the image of a doting boyfriend—ya know, lovey dovey kisses and all the "awwww"-inducing crapola.
But when she's out of sight, she's definitely out of mind too.
Which leaves Lesley to do what he does best: sweet talking the panties off of any (and every) chick in sight.
"He's a total d-bag," one of the pretty party gals who attended one of the many booze-soaked event that Grotto frequents bitched to us. "He's all over chicks at these parties and flirts with everyone."
Continues our blabbermouth babe: "But as soon as he's with his woman he's a whole different man, all committed and monogamous."
Sounds smarmy. Well, actually, that totally sounds like half the other dudes in Tinseltown.
Here's the real Q though: If his lady found out would be really even care? We kinda think not.
AND IT AIN'T: Jason Mraz, Kanye West, Bruno Mars

Top suspect: Adam Levine

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days

New BV from Ted today.  Schlong returns...

Blind Vice: During Awards Season, the King Forgets His Queen Days


Some dudes like Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile, we really feel for. These are movie stars who truly do only like other guys, even though they also (just as much) want to be renowned film actors. So they play the game (well, Toothy does).
But then there's mischievous bisexual King Schlong, who can take boys—or go without them.
So, what's King's current sexual bent? And could the dog-eat-dog awards season have something to do with King's choice?
Girls, girls, girls and yes, yes, yes.

You see, truth be known, King's always fooled around with both sexes (as recently as this year, too!). But it's really not what drives King ultimately romantically—and certainly not come the career-defining months from Emmys to Oscars.
"That boy will no sooner go around boys when these awards are still out than Alec Baldwin will apologize to American Airlines," said one of King's myriad Biz colleagues, who knows full well that Schlong has long been a free spirit and doesn't want to be tied down to either sex, in any capacity.
But this maverick sensibility, we're told, is wholly heterosexually infused, at this time of the year because what King wants more than domestic happiness is...big ol' trophy-time recognition. "Like, bad," is how it was put to us.
Jeez. Kinda sounds like that old stereotype people are always applying to women only in this town, like, she slept her way to the top.
Apparently, King's desperately trying it out, too.
But will it work?
And It Ain't: Alex Pettyfer, Kellan Lutz, Alec Baldwin

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous King Schlong BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: still Leo. 

Blind Vice! Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

New from Ted Monday Dec 12 -

Blind Vice!  Crafty Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher Plans For a Surprise Baby!

You all remember Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher, right?
She was the chick who couldn't quite keep her hands to herself despite the fact that she has an oh-so-loving (and pretty damn hunky) guy at home.
Well, Car has had a change of heart. And it all has to do with her best gal-pal, Carmelita Salami-Climber.
Let's back up a bit: Remember how Carm's close friends were worried that her dude wasn't up to snuff?

Well they were right and he hit the road, leaving Carmelita to nurse her broken heart (trust us, that split is so not worth a Vice in itself).
Here's the thing: While Carol Anne lets her bestie cry on her shoulder, she's secretly scheming how to keep her own relationship together...ya know, so she doesn't end up like her forever alone amigo.
That's right: Carol Anne is getting her s--t together!
And the first plan of action? Get herself knocked up pronto.
Carol Anne has convinced herself that if she can get her man to get her preggo, everything will shape up in their sometimes rocky relaysh. As in, she'll stop parting and then they'll stop fighting.
How terribly old fashioned of her, no?!
And It Ain't: Naya Rivera, Jennifer Aniston, Blake Lively

Please refer to the label below for a link to our previous C.A.S.S. BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Khloe Kardashian-Odom

Lainey - Cash Only

New from Lainey yesterday Dec 14 -

Cash Only


SO easy.


Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of sh-t is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.


Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only?

Top suspect: Lindsay Lohan

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

New BV from Ted on Fri Dec 9.  A newcomer! -

Blind Vice: Brucey's Juicy Double Life!

Brucey Huskers is a gorgeous star. Brucey's hot. Brucey has a super-bitchin', manly body. Brucey hangs with other equally luscious-lookin' Tinseltown (and Blind Vice star) celebrities, who he's gotten mucho intimate with.
So, why is Brucey having trouble getting some lovin' lately?

Oh, wait. That rumor that he's not getting any since his big Hollywood split turns out to be...
Just that, a rumor!
"Don't you realize that this explains everything a little bit more clearly?" said one of the dudes who hangs thisclose alongside the humpy celebrity, who's gone back to getting it on with guys (something he did before his latest sexy starlet romance), since his latest publicized romance went sour.
"Ever stop to think why these 'relationships' of his don't last," asked Brucey's equally handsome bud, rhetorically. "Only a guy who's into guys would go out with the women this guy's gone out with," bitched the Huskers hanger-on.
Now, if you're able to follow the logic here, it pretty much makes sense: Brucey hooks up with Hollywood gals who are gorgeous but who he knows he has zilcho in common with. Everyone's shocked when it doesn't work out, as both parties are almost always super hot! Leaving the public breathless and waiting for the next hetero hook-up.
So, what gives?
Just that Brucey wants to keep getting in on with the guys even though he tells even himself it's the chickers he's really wanting.
Uh, so not the case.
But, Brucey will be the last to know this.
AND IT AIN'T: Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen

Update 12/17/11 - Ted has eliminated Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Ryan Gosling, Derek Jeter

Top suspect: Kris Humphries

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?

New BV from Ted Friday...

Blind Vice: Why Are Gals Passing On Well Equipped Player?


Poor, poor Smokey Shooter. First, he and his gal couldn't really work out the domestic thing, then he and his honey called it quits, oh, no!
They were such a cute couple. But you'll either be really sad or really happy to hear Smokey's wasted no time in moving on from his ex lady-love. Only problem being his new love interests all seem to have the same two complaints about the good-lookin' actor with a fair amount of movie cred:

Actually, make that one and a half complaints, because some gals aren't so bothered by one of this dude's, uh, problems, as it were. Namely, that he's just too big. And we're not talkin' just the guy's ego, honeys.
Add to that sometime painful attribute the fact that Smokey has a fondness for solving his flatulence issues while in bed with his various women.
Result? Some gals pretend not to notice. Others scold Smokey with mock disbelief. Few are so upset they don't give Smokey another go. In fact, make that all.
Which is probably why Smokey's never seemed to really care about giving his women warning, once he finds himself on the verge of breaking wind.
OK, I understand why a lotta gals put up with crap like not lifting the toilet seat, but, why more babes don't give this babe grief for acting like he's in a Jim Carrey movie is beyond me.
Does size really matter that much?
And It Ain't: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Hefner, Leonardo DiCaprio

Please use the label below to see our post on the previous Smokey Shooter BV, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspect: Ashton Kutcher (however he is also a suspect for another BV, see label)