Saturday, January 14, 2012

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!

New from Ted yesterday, January 13 -

Blind Vice: Loveless Topher Lusts Away the Hours!


Isn't it funny when somebody like Strawberry Snort 'Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check. Cool digs? Beyond-average talent? Check. Back-stabbing besties? Check! But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!
But, this Vice isn't about Strawberry, it's about a dude who never, ever wants to be in Strawberry's lovelorn position: Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
And even though Topher's determined to not get caught in love again (he's had a couple of bad breakups), he's not at all averse to getting caught in lust:
As we first told you,Topher's into the anonymous sex thing. And whereas we used to think it was just because Mr. Hairy-Tuchus, like many men in Hollywood, is just a plain ol' closeted actor, well, that's not the only reason he likes to get it on with other guys on the down low.
"He's just done with love, that's all. It's not so much his career, which is what everyone thinks," says a pal who knows Topher both personally, and professionally.
Whoa. So Topher's not so designing in the love department as much as we first thought? Amazing!
Because Topher sure has been giving us all a run for his red-carpet money lately with various sexy ladies by his side—and then some.
"No, no, no," added our Topher source. "He's just horny. And permanently non-committed. It's really that simple. The chicks are a cover for his [sex], not so much his career, get it?"
Do we ever. And here we thought Hairy-Tuchus was some kind of grand, scheming Toothy Tile, who knew!
Just remember, Toph, play safe!
And It Ain't: Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling

Please refer to the link below for our posts on the previous Topher Hairy Tuchus BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

(also see the post on the Strawberry SnortEm BV)

50 comments:

blurry vice said...

I know a lot of people think he THT is Bradley Cooper. But Ted said months before the 1st THT BV that Bradley was already a BV. (see elsewhere on this site). I know that he fits though, and that Ted makes A LOT of mistakes when it comes to who has and has not been BVs. (Sandra Bullock anyone?) Soo... it's a toss up.

phoenix said...

Hmm, good point blurry. Bradley was my guess, but due to the reasons you cited, I'm in the toss up column now too.

As for Strawberry, I believe Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, and Kesha were the top guesses. In this blind, Ted says, "Devoted and cute BF? Check. But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!"

Since Russell Brand is Katy's husband and not her boyfriend, she can be eliminated now?

I've heard nothing about Kesha recently ending a relationship.

Demi and Wilber just broke up again, and her coke problem is well documented, so I think there's a very good chance she's it.

botanicaldiva said...

For some reason Topher screamed Simon Cowell to me. I know he has been suspected as another BV before (Bravado Boom-Cocks) but I actually thought those other items (only 2) were talking about Ricky Gervais.

My top guess for Strawberry was Katy Perry but the "BF" comment kind of rules that out now... no next best on my list is Demi Lovato

Cristina said...

I don't think Strawberry is Katy because Ted said she had been really unlucky in love a while ago and now that she a committed boyfriend. He also said that Demi was the better role model over Selena in a past BB because she's cleaned up her act and all her vicey business is pretty much out. Strawberry Snort'em screams Lady Gaga to me. She also has a new boyfriend, Taylor Kinney.

Lisa said...

first time poster here!!

I don't think Strawberry is Demi Lovato. As I recall, Ted mentioned that SS had a nice rack...

http://justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2616761/demi-lovato-pcas-performance-20/

...Demi herself has said that she is lacking in the chest department.

I like Christina's Lady Gaga guess, though!


As for Topher, I don't think it's Bradley Cooper..but I have no idea who it could be either!

moi said...

There's also the possibility that Ted said "BF" because if he'd said "husband" it would have given it away as being Katy Perry.

I don't think it's Gaga because she got the new boyfriend almost immediately after she broke up with the old one. Besides, there's no indication that Gaga is running in any of the same circles as Lindsay Lohan, so that doesn't fit either.

Chrissie said...

I could see Strawberry still being Katy: he seems to be talking about the past when he says "BF" (because this was a blind item when they were still just dating.) If he had been like "BF now husband now broken up" that would have given it away.

blurry vice said...

Yes I do think Demi Lovato is still in the running. Will update that.

KaDixonLaw said...

I really like the Demi Lovato guess for Strawberry Snort'em. Didn't Ted just have an article last week re: her ex-bf/best friend Joe Jonas hanging out with Wilmer Valderama? I believe Ted indicated that her meltdown was a result of her breakup with JJ and that she broke up with Wilmer simply because he was hanging out with JJ.

Lindsay said...

I agree that I still think it is Katy Perry. Just because he referred to Russell as her BF instead of husband doesn't mean it's not Katy. I agree it would be way too obvious if he had said she broke up from her hubby.

99lucia said...

Strawberry = Cameron Diaz, anyone?

bellanapalm said...

rhianna???? and leonardo decaprio

Cristina said...

I think the line "Strawberry Snort 'Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check" eliminates Katy. This was posted after announcement of her divorce.

medusa said...

The suggestion that Ted could use "BF" instead of "hubby" just to hide the fact that it's Katy Perry bothers me. A boyfriend and a husband are not the same thing, and the terminology is not interchangeable. Calling a husband a boyfriend is misleading. Part of the art of writing blind items is to real just enough of the truth to allow people room to guess - but not to lie or misinform to make it harder.

KaDixonLaw said...

I completely agree with Medusa. Ted is sneaky and he certainly is guilty of forgetting things, but the "bf" clue is a big one and I believe that it eliminates Katy Perry. We can't disregard hints because they don't fit the popular guess.

chibbs said...

So I think this is definitely Bradley Cooper judging by Ted's Afternoon Mail today... He says that THT and King Schlong are "very close" as are Bradley Cooper and Leo DiCaprio. And that THT is hotter than King Schlong -- and Ted always talks about how Leo DiCaprio isn't hunky enough for Bake Lively and all those supermodels he dates. So... I think def Bradley Cooper for this one...

KaDixonLaw said...

Definitely Bradley Cooper! The confirmation of a short-lived marriage sealed the deal for me. He was married to Jennifer Esposito for less than a year. I still secretly hope that Ted's information is wrong, though. Sexy, sexy!! ; )

Desert Dweller said...

Def Bradley Cooper. Ted revealed his Blind Vice all stars a lil after Topher was introduced and BCoop's pic was in the hall of fame.
Didn't he have a nasty breakup with Victor Garber?

Desert Dweller said...

And in regards to BCoop having a vice b4 THT made an appearance, BCoop was only a supporting cast member in a vice that belonged to someone else- thus not being designated with a moniker.

phoenix said...

Dear Ted: Ted, I have two questions on Topher Hairy-Tuchus: has he ever been married? And was he at last night's Golden Globes?

Dear Toph Tying The Knot: Yep, dude was married once before but only for a short time. As for the Globes? We doubt Toph would miss that kind of opportunity to show-off his sexiness!

-----

Dear Ted: Are Topher Hairy-Tuchus and King Schlong friends? Do they hook up with each other? In your so humble opinion, how hot would that hook up be? Thanks for the gossip!

Dear Friendly Vicers: You're right in guessing Schlong and Topher are friends—in fact, they're very close. Tough call if they've ever hooked up, but I wouldn't be surprised, even though Topher's much hotter than the King in my opinion.

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/afternoon_mail_did_blind_vice_stars/287190

Miss Faye said...

This is Bradley Cooper. Ted says Topher and King Schlong (Leo DiCaprio) are very close. Exactly 2 months ago, Leo celebrated his 37th birthday with who else-- Bradley Cooper.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20545195,00.html

mcscatdog said...

what about topher grace?? is that too obvious?

Cait said...

BF could also mean Best Friend.

Lyn said...

"Dear Ted:
Ted, I have two questions on Topher Hairy-Tuchus: has he ever been married? And was he at last night's Golden Globes?
—Lyn

Dear Toph Tying The Knot:
Yep, dude was married once before but only for a short time. As for the Globes? We doubt Toph would miss that kind of opportunity to show-off his sexiness!"

Sounds like Brad Cooper to me!

medusa said...

Cait, I don't think that BF means "best friend" in this context, since in the same list Ted checks off "Back-stabbing besties" which would cover the female non platonic friends. "Devoted and cute" are adjectives used for a love interest, and, more importantly, if someone "appears to have it all" you would expect some reference to the person's romantic life.

medusa said...

Sorry, I meant "female platonic" friends, of course!

cornejos.2004 said...

What about Avril Lavigne for SS?

Cristina said...

Knowing that Bradley Cooper holds a masters degree, I asked Ted whether THT was a college grad or if he opted for the school of life. No response, which is my fist time ever not having a question answered. Suspicious?

HM said...

I really think Topher is Bradley, the clues of the computer gave it away for me. As for Strawberry, I think it's definitely Katy, I remember he said she shared a bestie with Morgan Mayhem, and Katy and Lindsay Lohan are bff's with a Mdmolinari or something, he also said Morgan tweeted Strawberry without getting a reply, an I stalked a bit Lindsay's tweets and found one to Katy Perry, without a reply from her.

PrincessTiff said...

I'm on board with the Demi Lovato guess for Strawberry. Sure saying "husband" would have confirmed it for Katy Perry, but that doesn't mean Ted would blatantly lie and say "bf." Would just leaving that sentence out be easier and less lie-y? Also, there have been a lot of reports lately of Demi partying and slipping back into old habits, which would fall in line with her breakup with Wilmer.

RenoBlondee said...

I always thought Strawberry was Katy until this blind. It fits Demi to a T now. Her and Wilmer just broke up and rumors of her sliding back into drugs are all around.

Alejandra said...

I still think it is Katy, and the BF is referring to Rihanna.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Ted, I have two questions on Topher Hairy-Tuchus: has he ever been married? And was he at last night's Golden Globes?
—Lyn

Dear Toph Tying The Knot:
Yep, dude was married once before but only for a short time. As for the Globes? We doubt Toph would miss that kind of opportunity to show-off his sexiness!

Dear Ted:
Are Topher Hairy-Tuchus and King Schlong friends? Do they hook up with each other? In your so humble opinion, how hot would that hook up be? Thanks for the

gossip!
—Angela


Dear Friendly Vicers:
You're right in guessing Schlong and Topher are friends—in fact, they're very close. Tough call if they've ever hooked up, but I wouldn't be surprised, even

though Topher's much hotter than the King in my opinion.
"

- He is close with Leo!

blurry vice said...

Now I am thinking Lukas Haas? With Ted's statement that Topher is very close with King Schlong. Lukas and Leo are BFF.

PrincessTiff said...

Blindgossip is saying that Demi Lovato is back in rehab. I am defiinitely thinking she's Strawberry Snort-em.

Miss Faye said...

Right and they also said she was in rehab for cocaine so that gives credence to the Strawberry Snort-em guess

Savannah said...

When Ted refers to "devoted and cute BF" couldn't that be in present tense, as in Katy currently has a devoted BF and everything else in her life is fine but because her marriage with Russell is dunzo she's been doing a lot more coke lately? So the "devoted and cute BF" and the guy who broke her heart are two different people?

Savannah said...

PrincessTiff and Miss_Faye, Demi Lovato can't be Strawberry because according to the sister's list Ted said Demi wasn't a BV as of 8/16/11. The first Strawberry BV appeared in 2010.

Bootsie said...

For what it's worth, Lainey from LaineyGossip has emphasized that Bradley Cooper is not gay.

KaDixonLaw said...

Ted's answer in today's morning mail could really shake things up:

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/morning_mail_heidi_seal_split_no_big/289552

Rooney Mara is probably Chuck (the timeline definitely supports that). Given the fact that RM has a boyfriend, that must be the statement that is incorrect. That said, SSE's former relationship would have to be with a boyfriend instead of a husband. That would rule Katy Perry out and, as Savannah pointed out, Demi Lovato is also out.

Am I reading that right?!

Michelle said...

one of them is wrong we can't have SSE as Katy and CFD as Mara. If we agree that CFD is def Mara then SSE is NOT Katy.

Sara said...

Sorry if this is going over old clues (or if I've simply misread the posts!) but has SSE been confirmed a singer?

If not how about Vanessa Hudgens as SSE? Actress/Singer - Multi Talented. ex being Zac Efron, she's currently seing "cute" Austin?

Also her recent film due to be released in Gimme Shelter - she plays Agnes "Apple" Bailey (long shot at being a link I know!)

I'm sure she was also rumoured to have taken drugs at coachella , friends with all the Disney/nickelodeon lot

JPhilly said...

I think it's Kevin Connolly... He's friends with Leo, briefly married to Nikki Cox (she left him and went with the bunny voice on the show), and they gamble (the poker lawsuit). He dumped a bunch of Hollywood women.

Savannah said...

Wait isn't Katy a BV Superstar? And don't you have to have had at least 2 blinds written about your moniker to be a BV superstar? Before this little update there had only been one blind written about Strawberry so Katy couldn't be Strawberry, right?

KaDixonLaw said...

@Savannah - Yes. If you go up-thread or read Ted's morning mail from 1/27, it seems that SSE cannot have had a husband either.

It boils down to this: if Rooney is Chuck, Strawberry cannot be Katy. Unless Ted changes his tune again, that is.

Savannah said...

@KaDixonLaw, got it. It's strange to me that Katy was listed as the top suspect for Strawberry when based on Ted's rules for BV Superstars there's no way it could be her.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I just saw John Stamos on a talk show recently and he is as cute as ever. Would he possibly have a Vice moniker in your collection?
—Pearl Mae

Dear But Of Course:
And he's definitely a fan favorite. Any guesses who?!

Dear Ted:
I'm very interested to hear that John Stamos' Vice is a fan-favorite. Any hints for this serial dog-rescuer? Also, while we are talking Johns…does Johnny

Depp have any sexy monikers?
—P

Dear A John By Any Other Name:
Hmmm, let me think of a clue worthy of your puppy love, P. Mr. Stamos' starring Vice was ages ago…but he made an unnamed appearance in a more recent Vice

that was far juicier. Johnny, on the other hand, has no moniker."

blurry vice said...

I have always thought Topher was John Stamos.

FrenchGirl said...

Ted C just wrote Topher would be at the Oscar this year and Bradley Cooper is presenter this year so...

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I think there are 4 types of closet actors in Hollywood: The one who will come out when he feels like it, the one who comes out when his career is

over/established, the one who will take it to his grave and the one who will get outed by others. Could you add 4 B.V. names to those categories for me?
—Bastiaan

Dear Fab Fouresome:
Respectively: Toothy Tile (hopefully...he's wanted to in the past but was always talked out of it). Crotch Uh-Lastic. Topher Hairy-Tuchus. And Parrish

Maguire. Has your Vicey thirst been quenched, B?"

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