Friday, January 6, 2012

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Happy new year!  We are getting caught up on the first week of the new year.  So much gossip already -  Divorces, engagements, and pregnancies!  We'll be covering all of it... let's start with Justin Timberlake shall we?  Here's Ted's latest Blind Vice, from today in Awful Truth.

Blind Vice: Jerry Rock-Butt's Bitter Heart!

Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he's known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry's life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he's been a bit down, as of late.
Pray tell, why?
Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud's best pals know that Jerry's true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.

Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!
Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.
And the mama's boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he's on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.
And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.
Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.
And It Ain't: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison

Please refer to the label below for a link to our posts on the previous JRB and CJ BVs, including a full list of who has been eliminated.

Top suspects: still Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

(older ex-girlfriend: NOT Britney Spears. Top suspect = Cameron Diaz)


blurry vice said...

Soo... which one he crying over, Britney or Cameron?

blurry vice said...

Oh never mind just read the detail "OLDER" - duh! Cameron all the way! I had only seen teh "curvy" part and figured could be Brit... but she was his age.

blurry vice said...

Were Justin and Janet Jackson serious?

Anyway - sticking with the Cam guess. I think the reason the gf didn't get a name is because she already has one.

KaDixonLaw said...

I think the older, buxom girlfriend has to be Janet Jackson. Even Wikipedia mentions that the two were involved. I just don't see how Cameron Diaz could ever have been referred to as "curvy," and I don't think she's as close to his mother's age as this blind reads. The same holds true for his other ex, Alyssa Milano. In addition, Ted indicates that the ex-girlfriend and Jessica Biel are as different as can be. I don't think you can say that when comparing Jessica to Cameron. They're both more athletically built actresses. Now compare Jessica to Janet and it fits. They are completely different in just about every way.

katie11nicole said...

Would one consider Cameron Diaz 'curvy' though??

lns212 said...

i think that the "curvy" older girl was alyssa milano. cameron diaz has more of a boy's body than curvy

keelyrae said...

The ex is Janet Jackson obvi. They were crazy hot together! Curvy, 15 yrs older.

ea3232 said...

The way he phrased things leaves open the possibility that ted is talking about two different women - the curvy ex and the older chick he was hooking up with. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :)

katie11nicole said...

my guess is Janet Jackson-she was born in 1966-closest to his mom's bday of 1961..Cam's bday is 1972-not that close to his mom's

medusa said...

@ea3232: This sentence makes it pretty clear the curvy woman and the older woman are one and the same:
"Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!"

(Now that I know that I am just a little younger than Justin Timberlake's mom, I am going to crawl back into bed and call it a day.)

Rita said...

Older and curvy, made me think of Alyssa Milano.

He really liked her, gave her guitars, but apparently she was a player too.

Strathmore said...

Years of watching Charmed will show that even Alyssa is not curvy. Especially for the amount of times its mentioned in this blind. I was actually surprised at how little she has underneath the skimpy clothes.

Tyler said...

I'm on board with the Justin & Janet guess. Janet is only 5 years younger than Justin's mom.

Rita said...

^agree @Phoenix, this though makes him a true douche for throwing her under the bus after the Super Bowl.

EnglishBarb said...

Also for 'older curvy woman' see Fergie.

bookworm said...

I think to older woman and hot ex GF are two different people. I say Cameron for the older woman and Britney for the hot GF. Cameron came not to far behind Britney - in fact Justin and Britney were trying to get back together when Justin secretly hooked up with Cameron after an awards show they both attended. All talks of getting back to between Britney and Justin died after she found out about Cameron. Justin was rebounding with Janet, Alyssa and Cameron but he eventually settled with Cameron. She was low maintenance and was clearly more into him the he was in her. He needed that after all the hurt from losing Britney.

ea3232 said...

@medusa: I still think Ted left some wiggle room. He could have been in a relationship but hooking up with an older woman on the side.

chibbs said...

I think the curvy girl is Alyssa Milano -- even JT called her "the sexiest woman in the world" several times. While she's probably not "curvy" by normal women standards, she's definitely "curvy" by Hollywood standards...

Sheba said...

"Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!"

I think the curvy girl and the older chick are two different girls.

"Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn't once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether."

His mother wasn't happy about him getting it on with someone almost has old has her, but was even more angry when he was planning to marry his girlfriend. Maybe because she thought he was to young.

I think Britney is the curvy one he wanted to marry. She recently announced her engagement. And now there are suddenly rumors about him getting married with Jessica. And didn't his grandma say that jessica is the perfect girl for marying. Maybe his mother thinks the same. That's way it's his turn to cry and his bad karma for letting his mother control his life. Afteral cry me a river and what goes around comes around are written about Britney.

Katie said...

"Jerry's mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn't so far in age from her own!"

This is just Ted-speak. He is not saying literally that the older GF was really close to his Mom's age. She was just significantly older. Cameron, Alyssa, Janet, Fergie - all of them fit good enough for this age part of the blind.

When I read this my first thought was Alyssa Milano who he was way into.

Wasn't Janet with someone else when she and JT were supposedly hooking up? Like, in a long-term relationship? Janet keeps her personal life really tight, though, so if she and JT were serious at one point, I can see them keeping that pretty locked down.

KaDixonLaw said...

Okay, but this blind is talking about the "super hot ex-girlfriend" that only JRB's closest friends know he's still hung up on. In the very next sentence sentence, he refers to this (one) hot ex-girlfriend as curvy. I think trying to squeeze an extra girl into this particular equation is over-reaching and I don't personally think it's something that Ted usually does.

Also, you cannot forget this line: "Babes are beyond different." How can you guys say that Jessica is "beyond different" than Alyssa Milano (actress, brunette), Cameron Diaz (actress, athletic build) or Britney Spears (same age-range)?

On the other hand, Jessica and Janet could not be more different. Janet fits the curvy description, as there is absolutely no denying that she is curvy. Finally, she is by far the closest in age to JT's mother. With all of the other girls, you have to say, "Well, if you look at it this way, Alyssa or Cameron or Britney COULD fit..." Plug Janet in and you don't have to try to fit a square peg into a round hole on any of these counts.

EnglishBarb said...

'Babes are beyond different' - and who could be more different than Chutney Jones that Janet J!!! Reading this blind again I am starting to get on the Janet train (although the 'everybody can cry now' comment threw me a little, I was thinking 'Cry Me A River' ie a ref to Britney).

Cameron is just not curvy, and I can soooo see Jerry's momma going crazy over him getting closer or serious with Janet. But just think of their progeny!!! PS - Just putting this out there although it doesnt relate in terms of the 'older woman' thing. JT's wikipedia profile says he dated Beyonce. I'd love to know what mommy thought about that...

KaDixonLaw said...

@EnglishBarb: I saw that on Wiki and thought the exact same thing! : )

Sheba said...

Also, you cannot forget this line: "Babes are beyond different." How can you guys say that Jessica is "beyond different" than Alyssa Milano (actress, brunette), Cameron Diaz (actress, athletic build) or Britney Spears (same age-range)?

Jesica Biel is often described by Ted as Extremely boring. Not something you could say about Britney or cameron.

KaDixonLaw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KaDixonLaw said...

@Sheba: True. They may be less boring than Jessica Biel; but they still have notable similarities. On that note, I wouldn't call Janet boring, either.

Katie said...

I don't think Ted's "beyond different" is referring to hair color or skin color or the like, and I don't think its referring to occupation, either. I think he is again pointing out how utterly, pathetically boring Chutney is, and that this other gal was wild / fun / exciting. All of JT's other GFs bit that bill, so again, that doesn't help narrow the field.

KaDixonLaw said...

So sorry for the multiple posts! My hubby has been watching the playoffs all day and I'm a little bored. ; )

I found articles where Lynn Harless discusses her ongoing affection for Britney and how devastated she was when Justin and Britney split. Here's one:

It sure doesn't sound like his mother would have had a problem with his marrying Britney. That said, if the fact that Britney is actually younger than JT (instead of nearly the same age as his mother), I think this certainly does.

Katie said...

Just read this whole thread, totally on the Miss Jackson bandwagon...

Add to this - Janet marries. Except for Jermaine Dupree who she never wed, Janet married the only two other guys that she dated in the past, if you take her own words at face value. So, if she dated Justin for awhile, it makes sense that they talked marriage.

Sheba said...

'I found articles where Lynn Harless discusses her ongoing affection for Britney and how devastated she was when Justin and Britney split.'

Yeah i remember those statements but that still doesn't mean she would have want them to get married at that time. How old where they back then 21-22?

Meri said...

I'm positively on the Janet bandwagon after reading this again after reading the comments. No way is Cameron "curvy" - not even a little. This is fascinating to me, if it is JJ. I never would have guessed it would be that serious. Fascinating.

Jessica said...

Miss Jackson ftw. Methinks Justin and Jessica never make it down the aisle.

medusa said...

Funny how people read the same thing and come up with different interpretations. I still think the curvy woman and the older woman are the same.

In once sentence, we have Jerry and a curvy gal as a hot couple, and his mother being incensed that he was hooking up with an older chick. Ok, so there is a possibility that he's hooking up with the older woman secretly and his mother knows and disapproves. But in the next paragraph, his mother becomes incensed when Jerry and the ex start talking marriage - and "Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether."

So if you're on the side of his mom being upset about the secret older woman, not the public gilfriend with curves, why would he dump the curvy girl to please mom?

Jerry "fears he may have lost the love of his life" not the loves of his life. I think it's one woman.

P.S. not that you need more evidence that this is JT, but there is the repetition of "incensed" - and his mother manages the band Insense.

BROOKE said...

If this is Justin Timberlake, then the ex he can't get over is most def Britney Spears. Britney is def the one he was about to marry, they were already living together. Then rumors start flying that Britt cheated with Colin Farrell or Ben Affleck. Justin was heart broken over their break up, just go look at interviews with Diane Sawyer right after they broke up. I think I read even after he found out she had done whatever she did, cheated or whatever he tried to still work thing out with her, but she was out the door. She was over him, I think she outgrew him or was bored of him. I do believe that they both still have a thing for one another as they both write songs back and forth to each other, think of it, Cry me a River, Another Song (All over Again), What goes Around, and then Britt's Everytime, Break the Ice, Inside Out, and of course her stab at Cameron Diaz "She'll never Be me". If he is still into someone it has to be Britney, I mean think of it, she is back to looking close to how she did when they broke up. She's looking good now, Makes sense! Plus she just announced her engagement I think. His mom could of not really liked Britt behind closed doors. Plus, Justin was not with Alyssa or Janet but for just a min. not long enough for him to still be pining over them. All u have to do is read between the lines. I figured that when Britt got herself together and was looking hot again that he'd be wanting her back again. Can't get much more hot than her new video Criminal. As for this being Cameron? I don't think so, Cam wasn't/is not curvy and He never seemed that into her, in fact it seemed the other way around. She is the one that went all crazy on him after they broke up. No, I don't for one sec think he is still into her, maybe if it was her into him. Plus I think Cameron said in an interview after they broke up that he was still into Britney or hinted at it..

BROOKE said...

and let's not forget this little article below, saying Justin can't stop talking about Britney which was Jun 2011, and she (Britney) is looking even more fab now! I think It is very possible that Justin may have been the one carrying the torch all this time for her, but come on she did do some embarrassing things so...I can understand that he would want to wait to get back with her when she is in great shape again (that being career wise, mentally, physically, and emotionally)...I think he still loves her, he has said before that she was his first love and he'd always love her. I think if I am not mistaken he about broke down in the Barbara Walters interview crying and she did, Britney did break down and cry. Justin didn't date Alyssa for long at all, not even a few weeks I don't think, same goes with Janet, Maybe a month or so and a lot of ppl including me think that was a PR stunt. I have no idea what was up with the older lady wording and all that, but I will always believe this is about Britt b/c she is literally the one that got away. He could get Cam back if he wanted to. For the most definitive proof look at the lyrics in his songs.
here is the article about him talking about Britt ALOT and cont. further down is the rest of my observations on the matter.

BROOKE said...

We all know for a fact that Cry me a River is about Brit. Lyrics "you were my sun, you were my earth, you didn't know all the way I love you." and check out this line "all these thing ppl say keep messing with my head" maybe that was his mom telling him things. and then there is this one " you should of picked honesty then you might not have blown it" so basically had she told him what happened and he hadnt of had to find out another way then they might could of worked it out. Plus it is well documented in interveiws and such that he called Britt, baby girl, baby, and little girl. And in Another Song the lyrics are "you've been alone, you've been afraid. I've been a fool in so many ways." This being around the time that she was going through her rough ordeal btw and here are some more "but I would change my life if you thought you might try to love me, so please give me a ANOTHER CHANCE to write you ANOTHER song and take back those things I done, cause I'll give you my heart if you would let me start all over again". Take into consideration that as far as anyone knows he hasn't wrote any other songs about any other of his ex's. So we kind of know this is about Britt, but if ur still not convinced then let's look at the rest of the lyrics "I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who had heaven and EARTH (remember he referred to her as his earth in CMAR)
In the palm of his hand
but I threw it away
So now I stand here today asking forgiveness". and here is the REAL clincher for me "LITTLE GIRL, your all I've got. Don't you leave me standing her once again. Cause I'll give you my life. yes i would, if you would try to let me love you all over again". and he closes it with "you know I love you, give me one more chance". and don't even get me started on what goes around comes around. Yes I am aware he said the song was not about Britt, but come one give me a break. You can so tell it is. He claimed the song was actually about his best friend and his ex Elisha Cuthbert. I'm not buying that b/c it doesn't even mirror what happened in that relationship. Plus I don't know if anyone remembers this but he also denied that CMAR was about Britt when it first came out as well. In fact he denied it for at least a year. Funny how WGACA goes along with exactly what was going on with he and Britt and Britt in general at that point. "Hey girl is he (
Federline) everything you wanted in a man. You know I gave you the world, you had me in the palm of your hand. Why your love went away, I just can't seem to understand. Thought it was me and you babe, me and you until the end but I guess I was wrong". Notice the BABE reference and he gave her the world she had him in the palm of her hand, sounds a lot like CMAR. then the this "dont want to think about it, don't want to talk about it, I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?" cont. below sorry it wouldn't all fit...

BROOKE said...

and this goes real well with ONLY HIS CLOSE friends know about his feelings for this ex. Then this "is this the way it's really going down, is this how we say goodbye. Should of known better when you came around, that you were gonna make me CRY, now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around cause I know that your livin a lie. and this this really sounds like them "Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed, said that you were moving on now, and maybe I should do the same, the funny thing about that is, I was ready to give you my name" meaning he was ready to marry her. However, if non of that was clear enough he goes into this little set of lyrical rants "let me paint this picture for you, BABY you spend your nights alone, and he never comes home, and when you call him all you gets a busy tone, I heard you found out that he was doing to you, what you did to me, now aint that the way it goes. When you cheated girl, my heart bleeded girl, so it goes without saying that you left me hurt, Tale as old as time girl you got what you deserved. And now you want somebody to fill those lonely nights you wish u had somebody to make it right, but I aint somebody with a lot of sympathy, you'll see, what goes around comes back around, I thought I told yeah. You should of listened to me BABY". So yes, I truly believe that all three of those songs are about him and Britt...and I fell like her song Everytime is about him her lyrics pretty much tell that she cheated and she is sorry. Like this line " I may have made it rain (CMAR anyone?) please forgive me, my weakness caused you pain and this songs my sorry". and this one "What have I done, you seem to move on easy". That was when he had moved on with Cam D. Who else could they even be talking about in these songs, neither one of them had had any huge breakups in which he was cheated on and she cheated, ect. so the songs are pretty self explanatory i think. Then in She'll never be me. She really throw it at Cam D. "Whats this I see, your girl she looks like me, blonde hair and dressed to a tee. Does she know I was the one that used to turn you on, but you don't want to think about it" and then she goes on to really let them both have it in that song, which she may be right about it all. Then in "Kill the Lights" She throws in "You aint gotta be scared, we're both grown now". Who was she with when she was a kid, aha, Justin...and lastly in "inside out" it's talking about a breakup, but that they still are hot and heavy for one another "Even though we couldn't last forever, baby you know what I want right now, HIT ME ONE MORE TIME, it's so amazing, how you flip my world and turn it inside out, your the ONLY one that ever drove me crazy (you drive me crazy),cause you know me inside out." Who was she with when she had those songs come out? either they both use eachother to make money and play into it or they both still have some feelings and I am guessing that they do still have some feelings considering they dated for a long time, bought a house together and lived together, were talking marriage and were each other's first love's. He still takes up for her, but I think she seems to be happy with her guy right now, even if Justin is not happy so...while personallly I would LOVE for them to get back together, I don't think it is gonna happen. However, IDK why not..I mean publicity wise alone it would be amazing...I can see it now, The Prince and Princess of Pop back together. So yeah, but there is no way this is about Alyssa or Janet who he dated for maybe a month or so, or Cam D, considering HE left her for Biel. Which I find ironic since he made such a huge deal about Britt cheating on him and he had done it to others since.

BROOKE said...

Last thing I would LOVE to through in is the name Chutney and it's spelling . Chutney sounds a whole lot like Britney and look at the spelling, most ppl spell Britt like this Brittany...So to me Chutney is like the polar opposite of Britt Britt, like a knock off version. When I read about this BV couple originally I thought WHY is he still linking JT with Britney, maybe b/c JT has been pining over her all this time?????IDK, but I do not think Justin was with Janet, Alyssa, Fergie, or any of those girls long enough to form any kind of real bond. I mean it was basically one week one girl, the next week another and then he got with
Cam and that was the first long termish relationship he had post Britt.

KaDixonLaw said...

I'm shocked that the curvy ex cannot be Janet Jackson!! I have no idea who else could fit Ted's description, so I did some searching and found a list of JT's relationships from the very beginning. This list also includes the birth year of each girlfriend (how convenient!):

1. Danielle Ditto (high school girlfriend)
2. Fergie (1975)
3. Veronica Finn (1981)
4. Britney Spears (1981)
5. Tonya Mitchell (1982)
6. Alicia Keys (1981)
7. Jenna Dewan (1980)
8. Janet Jackson (1966)
9. Alyssa Milano (1972)
10. Kylie Minogue (1968)
11. Staci Flood (1974)
12. Tatyana Ali (1979)
13. Cameron Diaz (1972)
14. Kate Hudson (1979)
15. Scarlett Johansson (1984)
16. Rihanna (1988)
17. Olivia Munn (1980)
18. Ashley Olsen (1986)
19. Jessica Biel (1982)

KaDixonLaw said...

Ted also said that the curvy ex-girlfriend is a pretty famous BV star. Of the names from the above list, the following are known to have BV names (using the sisters' List of Ted's Reveals):

1. Cameron Diaz
2. Scarlett Johannson
3. Britney Spears
4. Olivia Munn

Tyler said...

Dear Ted: I have a question about Jerry Rock-Butt. I am dying to know who the voluptuous ex is. Is she perhaps African American or is she from another country?

Dear Rock and a Hard Place: As for his ex, no and no. She's a fairly famous fellow Vice star, though. Any guesses who?

Cee said...

Ted said today in a BB that its NOT about JT and Brit!!!

EV said...

Still think older ex is Cameron and Ted used the word "curvy" to throw experienced readers off. There is no way this blind is NOT Justin & Jessica.

KaDixonLaw said...

With Janet Jackson and Britney Spears eliminated yesterday, the options are definitely dwindling. I disagree that Ted used the word "curvy" to throw people off. Usually, every word is like a clue with him and I just don't think that's his normal style. Accordingly, I have a really hard time applying Cameron Diaz to his description of the ex-girlfriend. However, I did some more digging and I found this really interesting article re: Lynn Harless's feelings on a potential wedding between JT and CD:

This fits the blind to a "t." But what about the "curvy" descriptor? I'm not sure if you guys saw the pictures of Cammie D in a bikini last week, but she's looking a LOT more busty than she used to. Apparently, there is speculation that she had a recent boob job. Perhaps Ted is referencing this?

krystel said...

I think Cameron is playing a pregnant women in her latest movie, maybe the voluptuous reference are coming from that. She also was the voice if Fiona in Shrek..

Anonymous said...

I'm inclined to think that this is Cameron Diaz even though I agree with everyone on Planet Earth that Cameron is not curvy. Why? Because I'm thinking of all the times I've disagreed with the top guess for Ted's blinds because his description of a person does not match my perception of what that person is. For example, Ted is the same guy who thinks Khloe Kardashian has an "enviable" body and Lamar Odom is very "handsome". I rest my case. I've just decided that Ted and I have different subjective opinions on celebrities' beauty.

If Ted says someone has black hair and green eyes, than of course that is an undeniable fact. But if Ted says someone is "handsome" or "voluptuous" I just translate that to "handsome to Ted Casablanca".

Ted also has a never-ending hard-on for Jake Gyllenhaal who I think is average-looking.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that gives me pause is that it says "voluptuous" and "curvy" not once but twice. And in the most recent Bitch-Back Ted says that this relationship happened "much more recently" and his relationship with Cameron was like 8 years ago.

Anonymous said...

Ted is full of shit. I don't believe justin is pinning for an ex at all. He's always hated Jessica and rooted for jt and Cameron to get back together this to me sounds like fan fiction

Katie said...

Ted has referred to Cameron as curvy before, and not in a blind, either. I don't have the time or inclination to find a reference for this, but it's happened. That, to me, is not a disqualifier that this is Cam.

The word voluptuous is often misused, or at least misunderstood. It basically means that something is totally pleasurable or sensual. So when Ted refers to the past GF as "more voluptuous" than Chutney, this does NOT mean more curvaceous. It means more sexual and exciting in bed, along those lines. LOOK IT UP.

Rita said...

ITA with @Miss Faye. It has happened quite often, and the K! blind is a perfect example.

KaDixonLaw said...

Well, I'm totally on board with the Cameron guess now. I asked Ted whether the relationship was known to the public to try to narrow it down a bit and he confirmed that it was. I cannot think of any other previous girlfriend that fits the clues better than CD.

Lila, as with most words in our language, there are a couple of meanings. Quoted from Merriam-Webster:

b. suggesting sensual pleasure by FULLNESS and beauty OF FORM.

I can't speak for anyone else, but that was the definition that I applied to Ted's description.

Melanie said...

Well dang. I was SO sure it was Janet. LOL! I can't get behind Cameron with the words Curvy or Voluptuous. But I can't think of anyone else, either.

Katie said...

DaDixonLaw, I think that was Ted's intention, to throw readers off that would think his intent on "voluptuous" was a full-formed body. Otherwise, most of us would have guessed Cameron right away. But that word is tricky when it comes to true meaning and common use.

We all know that Cameron is sex-crazed, passionate and kinky - many other (non-Ted) blinds refer to that.

KaDixonLaw said...

Lila, I read the link that you provided and I see where you're coming from. Typically, though, Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster are the two most respected dictionaries. OED defines "voluptuous" as:

(of a woman) curvaceous and sexually attractive.

You claim that voluptuous does NOT mean curvy in a previous post; when, in fact, both OED and Merriam-Webster use curvaceous and voluptuous as synonyms. So I don't think it's fair to take an attitude ("LOOK IT UP") with those of us who are confused by Ted's application of the word to Cameron Diaz. She is clearly neither of these things. However, now that the much more voluptuous and curvaceous Janet J. and Britney Spears have been eliminated, I completely agree that the only logical explanation is that Ted was trying to throw us off.

Anonymous said...

I would agree that this is about Cameran Diaz. Ted stated several times in the past that Justin and Cameron almost got married but Justin is a cheater sooooo.

Katie Ritchie-Caulk said...

Could this explain things?:

It appears that Cameron Diaz may have recently gotten implants. Mystery solved?

Kim said...

I sent in an email asking Ted if he thinks CD is more "curvy" than JB. I think I worded it in a way that he might answer, cant wait to find out!

Meggie said...

I was thinking the same thing about Cam's implants. So it could be her for sure

blurry vice said...

"jerry rock butt

Dear Ted:
I have a question about Jerry Rock-Butt. Why get married? He could have anyone he wants. Why not wait until another "true love" comes along? But I am dying

to know who the voluptuous ex is. Is she perhaps African American or is she from another country?
—Molly & Audra

Dear Rock and a Hard Place:
Because, thing is, Jerry is so concerned with winning his mama's approval that he's even willing to settle down with a chick as vanilla as Chutney Jones

instead of waiting for true love. As for his ex, no and no. She's a fairly famous fellow Vice star, though. Any guesses who?

Dear Ted:
Friday's Blind Vice sounds like Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears. Do you read the comments at all? If you do you must have tons of patience! So much

moronic prattle. I know everyone has a right to make a comment, free speech and all, but there has to be a jackass rule somewhere along the line.
—Miss P

Dear Ex Games:
Sorry, Miss P, but the dish on Jerry Rock-Butt missing his former flame is not about J.T. and Brit-Brit. Jerr and the older gal who stole his heart are a

much more recent coupling. As for the comments? I skim them and that's all I'll say about that.

Dear Ted:
Do you ever put "red herrings" in your B.V.s? I get that Vices are blind for a reason. But you don't try to put in descriptions that are deliberately

misleading or false do you?

Dear Simple:
No. But that doesn't mean I'm going to make them completely obvious either.

Dear Ted:
I know that she may be boring, but I really can't help but feel a little bad for Chutney Jones. I can't imagine anything worse than being in love with

someone who still loves another. That said, was the public aware of Jerry Rock-Butt's pined-over May-December relaysh or was it a flash-in-the-pan affair

that never hit the press?

Dear Poor Chutney:
Don't feel too bad for Chut. She could definitely do better than Jerr…if she wanted. As for Jerry's older gal, it was a public affair. Nothing covert about

that twosome, except for the reasons they eventually split.

Dear Ted:
Please tell me Chutney Jones is not Kristen Stewart because from the way she is she seems far from vanilla.

Dear Clued In:
And K.Stew is. Far from vanilla, that is. Actually, K.Stew's Vice makes poor Chut seem even more blah.

Dear Ted:
Can you clear this issue up? Jerry Rock-Butt's ex is curvy and older, right? Or are there two exes you are talking about? Your followers can't seem to agree!

I believe you meant one person. Does Darren Criss have a Blind Vice? There are so many rumors about him that I can't help but be curious!
—New Fan

Dear Welcome Aboard:
In order you mentioned: yes, no, wouldn't be the first time, I did, no, I know, so it'll be super soon, girlfriend, smooch-smooch!"

Cristina said...

I was so confused by this because curvy and voluptuous would be the last words I'd use to describe Cameron Diaz but this question solidified it for me:

Dear Ted:
Would you say that Jerry Rock-Butt's older ex has curves like Beyonce, or more like Kristen Stewart? Thanks Ted!

Dear Girl Look At That Body:
Definitely more like Kristen Stewart. Gal's certainly an in-shape celeb. And you're welcome!

Read more:

KaDixonLaw said...

That was a great question! Referring to Kristen Stewart as curvy is hilarious. Anyway, I think his answer solidifies this as Cameron Diaz!

EV said...

Ted was very generous in today's mail. He pretty much revealed Cameron today. I consider this whole blind vice as exposed.

Sasy said...

Yep this is Cameron but for some reason i think this blind is BS. I can't see Justin still pinning for her.

TorontoLouise said...

Cmon, there's no way Cameron can ever be called curvy. Not even in Hollywood where standards are different. The fact that Ted went out of his way to add the word "curvy" suggests he's saying it's definitely not her.

blurry vice said...

E video - Cameron shows off her muscular shape

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Would you say that Jerry Rock-Butt's older ex has curves like Beyonce, or more like Kristen Stewart? Thanks Ted!

Dear Girl Look At That Body:
Definitely more like Kristen Stewart. Gal's certainly an in-shape celeb. And you're welcome!

Dear Ted:
Was Justin Timberlake working with Cameron Diaz during Bad Teacher ever a problem for Jessica Biel? I just feel like no matter what, old feelings must have

come up considering J.T. and Cameron dated for so long.

Dear Blast from the Past:
I'm sure it wasn't Jess's ideal sitch, but who's got the ring on her finger these days? Well allegedly...ya know, 'cause she sure hasn't been wearing it."

Anonymous said...

LOL This just in! In today's Bitch Back, Ted revealed he considers Sarah Jessica Parker to be "a great beauty"! Consider that and tell me that he can't also think Cameron Diaz is "curvy" with his clearly altered vision.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I work at the lodge in Canada where Justin Timberlake came to celebrate his B-day last weekend. Jessica Biel was there, but it took me a while to recognize

her with the new bangs. I didn't see an engagement ring, though. Unlike you, I like them together and maybe if you saw the way they interacted with each

other you might as well. Very sweet and cute. My question is, Do you really believe they are engaged? Do you think they are hiding the ring to avoid any

hoopla? I mean, Grandma Sadie did confirm it, right?

Dear These Bangs Are Made for Marrying:
I firmly believe they are engaged, regardless whatever they're saying or wearing. Now, whether or not Justin and Jessica actually end up getting hitched is

anybody's guess. My hunch is that they will. He's put her through too much as it is."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Please can you give us any clues on Leo DiCaprio's Vice. Could he possibly be Jerry Rock-Butt? Oh and also, has anyone ever guessed Nevis Divine correctly? I

don't believe in the popular guess. Love from S.A.!

Dear Butt of the Blind:
Good guess, Mani, but Leo is not Mr. Rock-Butt. Jerr is a bit younger and fairly hotter than Leo these days. Plus, Jerry is committed, whereas Leonardo so

isn't. As for Nev, some guessers are definitely a lot warmer than others.

Dear Ted:
I have always felt that Justin Timberlake is in the closet and I still believe that Jessica Biel is his beard. Am I wrong on this? I get this vibe from him

that he swings both way but prefers the same sex. Am I way off with this? I quite frankly don't care, we are all free to love who we want.

Dear Rules of En-gay-gement:
Sorry, Tulip, but your gaydar is a bit wonky. Sure, J.T. might have that whole metro thing going on but he really is a lady's man and always has been. That

Jess doesn't have to worry about. But riddle me this: Do tigers every really change their stripes?"

blurry vice said...

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
So basically, you don't like Timberbiel because they're so private? So what?! Really, I know that must suck as a gossip columnist, but get over it. I'd put

more stock in a couple like Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake who are quiet and don't want their dirty laundry everywhere than a couple continuously

photographed with their tongues down each other's throats. You're way too old to act like a catty mean girl and you're not entitled to know anything!

Dear Bully the Bully:
Who says I don't like Timberbiel, Lisa? Yes, I've been cautious about the two agreeing to get hitched so soon after having split for the billionth time. But

Jessica is a big girl and if she's the one that can tie J.T. down, then kudos to her! But not spilling even a lit bit of info (like, duh, confirming your

engagement) is just begging for peeps to pry into their lives to figure it out themselves."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Have you heard anything about Jessica Biel being pregnant? Those pics E! ran today of her with that huge rock in that flowy dress are making us speculate!

Dear Bun in the Oven:
Hmmm…no confirmation, but that photo has certainly got people talking. Considering the private ways of these two, I wouldn't get your hopes up for any naked preggers pics à la Jessica Simpson. But since the duo did go down quite the rocky road leading to their engagement, me thinks it's just a case of unflattering attire. Probably best to wait a year and feel out their relaysh before they put a bun in the oven. Then again, you never know…here's to baby Timberbiel!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Someone asked a week or two ago if Justin Timberlake was gay and you said no. But is Jessica Biel a lesbian? There have been rumors about one of them

bearding for the other. And does Jess have a moniker because of who she is associated with or because of her own Vices? Please answer; I know you get a lot

of emails.

Dear Seeing Straight:
No. As for her moniker, it started as the former and turned into the latter. Comprende?

Dear Ted:
Am I the only one who noticed that Jessica Biel's engagement ring she showed off outside the restaurant was different from the one she gladly showed off at

the Lakers game? How many engagement rings does she have? I think zero!

Dear Bling-B-Gone:
That's an interesting conspiracy theory, Nat, but it doesn't quite hold up. From what my peepers can see, the two rings are one in the same (and trust me, I

looked ‘cause I am not a fan of that honking diamond). I think it's time to come to terms with the fact that J.T. + J.B. is far.

Dear Ted:
When you say someone has a nonstarring role in a B.V., does it mean they're given a moniker too, or just referred to generically as the


Dear Lost in Translation:
Usually the latter, but if the supporting cast is par-tick-ularly famous and/or just plain fab, I'll sometimes throw them a name. It just means they're not

the main one getting in on all the Vicey biz. Kinda like Chutney Jones used to be."

Violet451 said...

So, Ted pretty much outed these guys today-did anyone see the article? He was so blatant. I guess it's not really that juicy of a Vice but still I was surprised at how close Ted was to practically revealing them.

Cee said...

OMG VIOLET451 YES...I said wow Ted is what he said at the end of the article about Justin and Jessica in case you missed it

As for the key player helping Jess handle the stress?

Jessica's future mother-in-law, Lynn Harless, of course! A source confirms to Us that "she's [Lynn] helping Jessica with every little thing."

Aww, how sweet! And dare we say, the best way to prevent any future breakups. A little memo Cameron Diaz apparently forgot to take.

Kidding! (But not really.)

Look, we're totally rooting for this couple—if they can make it to "I do."

megan said...

Question. Do people actually believe Teds blind items? He so inconsistent especially with the ones involving these two. And it's obvious he doesn't like them together so why not make up some fan fiction to satisfy himself

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
What's new with Jerry Rock-Butt? I really would love it if JRB stepped it up and approached his old flame that got away. I wonder why he hasn't. Would you say he
burned a bridge when comes to their former relationship? Smooches to the pooches (and you, too).

Dear Butt of the Joke:
Hardly. Chutney Jones has Jerry seven different kinds of whipped. And he knows that if he so much as looks at "The One Who Got Away" wrong, Ms. Jones will be out the
door in a heartbeat. That said, Jerry and the former flame fake the nice ex thing for the public. Don't be fooled!"

Anonymous said...

I emailed Ted about this and did not get an answer. I read his blind like TEN times because I couldn't get over the voluptuous comments, and suddenly, it hit me. Look very carefully at his wording. He's one clever SOB for this... he never says that the older girl IS the voluptuous girl. in fact, he makes it seem that he cheated on the voluptuous lover (BRITNEY SPEARS--WHO HE PRETENDS HE IS ON NICE TERMS WITH) with an older lover. I asked him if he had fidelity issues with the voluptuous lover, and I also asked him if the hookup/relationship with the "older woman" was public knowledge. If anything, the older woman is probably Janet Jackson or my real guess; Alyssa Milano (JT's mom HATED Alyssa.) And if you look at it the way I described, it makes sense, because JT did not care very much for Alyssa (or Janet) and would not be nostalgic or broken hearted about them the way he would about Britney. Just do one google search and you will find plenty of gossip over how JT is so bitter over Britney that he refuses to see or speak to her, and overly fakes being on good terms with her to cover it.

Anonymous said...

Justin did care very much about Janet. She was his idol and crush since he was a teenager. Not saying that its about her though.

kukalala said...

in what world is cameron curvy???