Friday, January 27, 2012

Blind Vice! Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!

New from Ted today -

Blind Vice!  Drugged-Out Diva Says No To Rehab!


Meet Soheila Stuff-It. She probably won't remember meeting you, but what difference does it really make?


‘Cause that's the way Soheila likes it—drugged up halfway to Brigadoon to escape the burdens of being the downtrodden diva that she is. And when she's not partaking in a dabble of this or a hit of that, you'll likely find her drowning at the bottom of a bottle.
It's all terribly, terribly sad. Which is why Ms. Stuff-It's peeps are desperate to get the star into treatment stat. To which the always stubborn Soheila says:
Hell, no!
See, Soheila hasn't exactly had an easy go of it lately (despite the fact that she has the most gorgeous hair!).
But instead of trying to get better or, ya know, even just talking about her issues, S2 prefers to handle things her own way. And a trip to rehab is so not on her To Do list anytime soon. Or ever, if Soheila has anything to say about it.
Which, actually, she does.
See, Ms. Stuff-It isn't a pushover. In fact, she's made a name for herself in this town by being a tough chick who doesn't back down.
Which is why we're so sad to see her destroying herself…again.
That's the other terribly, horribly sad thing about all this. This isn't the first time Soheila has spiraled. It's all happened before and even though she slapped a smile back on her face and chitchatted about how fab she was feeling, underneath Soheila was the same damaged, messed up broad she was before.
To which we say: Hey, Soheila, relapse happens. Heck, it's practically expected. But it's time you give up your pride—and partying—and straighten yourself out.
We have far more faith in you than, say, Morgan Mayhem or Mimi Kitten. And we just hate seeing you be so blasé about your life, babe.
Oh, and if you stop hooking up with bisexual men, Soheila, that too just might lead you on the way to recovery, just a suggestion!
AND IT AIN'T: Angelina Jolie, Kim Richards, Mischa Barton
Update 2/18/12: Ted has also eliminated Sinead O'Connor, Whitney Houston

Top suspect:  Heather Locklear


54 comments:

blurry vice said...

I immediately thought of Demi Moore bc of her "exhaustion" this week... (loved Lainey's article on that BTW). But she is suspected to be 2 other BV names. Funny how he mentions Mimi Kitten.
Some commenters on E mentioned Demi Lovato or Heather Locklear. ?? Discuss...

blurry vice said...

http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth
/demi_moore_seeks_help_pals_worry_demis/288999

keelyrae said...

The Heather Locklear guess makes sense considering the AIA's. Plus after her recent (and highly publicized) brush with the law, she still didn't go to rehab. ... and I would assume that she's considered a hollywood heavyweight.

EV said...

Heather Locklear was my guess as soon as I read the headline. TMZ has been talking all week about how Heather's family wants her to go to rehab, but she keeps refusing. Plus, her problems sound alcohol related.

Demi's problems sound related to perscription drugs, Red Bull, anorexia, divorce and laughing gas. All the reports keep mentioning that she is sober.

KaDixonLaw said...

My immediate thought was Heather Locklear. I just keep remembering her character on Melrose Place and what a tough you-know-what she was. She doesn't appear to have to much work these days and the "downtrodden diva" description certainly fits with that.

renay83 said...

If it's Heather Locklear does that make Jack Wagner bi?

NYCGirl said...

Eva Mendes?

luckydog said...

What about the gorgeous hair bit?? Is heather locklear's hair all that amazing??

Savannah said...

luckydog, the "gorgeous hair" clue could be because Heather is a spokesperson for Loreal.

I immediately thought Soheila = Demetria Lovato. In the recent BBs Ted keeps mentioning the rumors about Demi Lovato going back to rehab.

Ket said...

I thought the Brigadoon reference was a huge clue. Brigadoon -- Scotland -- heather... seemed like a nod to Heather Locklear to me.

Ashley Stuart said...

My vote is Heather Locklear as well. Demi Lavato just doesn't fit. IMO, she's not a big enough star for this to work for her.

Gaylen said...

It's definitely Demi Lovato. There's a lot of gossip about her over the last week. The promised and missed pap appearance, the weirdness on Twitter, the BlindGossip blind that disappeared.

Plus, Ted's blind specifically mentions relapse. With Moore and Locklear, both of their scandals/addictions are just coming out. Lovato's is an actual relapse.

blurry vice said...

renay83- my thought too! Is FRISCO bi?!

Gretchen said...

tell me why this isn't nicki minaj besides of course the AIAs and "downtrodden" part...and the fact i don't know much about her.. she just popped in my head when i was reading the blind...

sistah2 said...

I am aboard the Demi L/heather L guesses. Any one else?

KaDixonLaw said...

Just did a Google search for Heather Locklear and rehab and found these two great articles:

http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/18/heather-locklear-at-home-refusing-rehab-standoff-with-family/#.TyRpvhwWD_Q

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/26/heather-locklear-rehab_n_1233538.html

Heather Locklear is clearly suffering from the same issues as Soheila. It would be one hell of a coincidence if they aren't one and the same.

Violet451 said...

I agree this seem to be a perfect fit for Heather Locklear. She is the first person I thought of when reading the title as well and I didn't see anything in the Blind itself to discount her. I'm not sure about the AIA's though. I thought it maybe was supposed to give us an age range but Mischa Barton seems young to be included with Angelina Jolie, and Kim Richards..?

Tamara said...

This is SO Heather Locklear. There's a song in the musical Brigadoon called The Heather on the Hill. Dead giveaway. I do hope she gets better. But I wonder who the bisexual is she's been hanging with? Jack Wagner?

Meggie said...

I thunk heather locklear. She kinda looks like Kim Richards

jes7o said...

Heather Locklear for the win! And is just me or did he practically out Demi Moore as Mimi Kitten? Why bring her up unless she is currently going though something, ya know?

Mouse said...

I think Heather Locklear is too obvious. What about Liza Minnelli? She's a "diva," Soheila = "star" in Persian (Judy Garland mom-A Star Is Born). Her father, Vincente Minnelli directed Brigadoon. Her "gorgeous" hair is very iconic. She's been married to at least two men who are rumored to be gay: Peter Allen & David Gest. She was also rumored to be in talks with Celebrity Rehab & "refused" to participate. She's an alcoholic. Initially I though Carrie Fisher, since dad Eddie Fisher covered a song from Brigadoon, she was also married to a gay man, is an alcoholic, known for "Star" Wars, & had the Princess Leia hair. They both seem like tough "broads", but I think Liza fits better. They both seem

mookie said...

Mimi Kitten is Demi Moore. Liza w/ a Z already has a BV (and it's an old one).

I'm going with Eva Mendes for this one.

Lellis101084 said...

I really, really feel like this is Eva Mendes. She's the first person who popped in my head when I read this BV on Friday. Heather Locklear and Demi Lovato seem too obvious, and the way Ted phrased an answer about Eva not having a BV as of Jan 16 sounded like a hint she would be having a moniker soon.

KaDixonLaw said...

@mookie and Lellis: Why do you two feel so strongly that this is Eva Mendes? I wasn't aware that she had any current addiction issues, let alone previous problems with drugs/alcohol. Ted has even said, on numerous occassions, that she's vice-free. Just curious.

KaDixonLaw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wakamaka said...

Demi Lovato

NYCGirl said...

KaDixonLaw-- I also mentioned Eva Mendes, further up in the thread. I don't know why, but hers was the first name that came to mind. She did have addiction issues a couple of years ago.

KaDixonLaw said...

@NYCGirl - I realized right after I posted that comment that you had almost immediately thrown her name out there as well. Sorry for that omission!

I guess because I hadn't really heard about substance issues with her, she seemed like a completely random guess to me. However, I see that she did go to rehab in 2008 and she has apparently said that she's proud of people who face their demons and seek help. To me, that doesn't sound like Soheila at all. I also think that Ted would probably have made mention of her current relationship with Ryan Gosling, if it were Mendes. Anyway, here's the article I quoted:

http://www.celebrities-with-diseases.com/celebrities/eva-mendes-speaks-about-her-stint-in-rehab-6427.html

hordac said...

I say Heather Locklear. Because of the Brigadoon reference. This, I agree was a huge hint.

hordac said...

I say Heather Locklear. Because of the Brigadoon reference. This, I agree was a huge hint.

PrincessTiff said...

I am on board with Heather Locklear.

Vivi said...

Heather Locklear dated David Spade right? Isn't he a little gay? I always got that vibe from him...
He could be the bisexual guy Ted mentioned...
I think is her... What a shame

Krispyc said...

I say Demi Lovato - especially because of the "dating bi-guys" comment. They always say Joe Jonas goes both ways. I don't know about Wilmer V. but wouldn't surprise me.

chibbs said...

Brainwave! Does anyone think that this might be Sinead O'Connor? She's pretty famous for her hair, and she's rocking the shaved head look again after so many years... AND she's been in the tabloids a lot recently due to that overnight marriage, breakup, drug use in vegas, etc. etc. She's definitely a "tough chick" who's had a rocky relationship history (bisexual men) and who would resist going to rehab...Thoughts?

chibbs said...

Also the name "sohelia" sounds mildly celtic-y, like "sinead"

PrincessTiff said...

I kinda like the Sinead guess except I thought I read that she did check into rehab (but I also could have been reading about any other person in hollywood)

chibbs said...

Okay, so Ted "notted" Sinead this morning... He said Sohelia used to be more beautiful, and is still "more relevant" than Sinead.

I guess I like the Heather Locklear guess (not only for the Scottish "Heather reference" but also "Lock" sounds like the scottish "Loch"too -- AND "Lock" can be a tress of hair, i.e. "gorgeous hair")... but I'm really wondering about the AIA's. Can anyone find a connection among them? They're kind of bizarre!

Lila said...

Heather seems to fit... too well. Ted is not typically so obvious. When he nots people as having blind vices he often says "their vices are hardly blind." I would say Heather's vices are hardly blind!

Forgive me, but what does Heather Locklear have to do with Scotland? She's not from Scotland, is she? Wikipedia says she is part native american.

chibbs said...

Yeah -- I know what you mean about HL and the scotland connection... it does feel like a long reach, doesn't it? I'm also not sure how "relevant" HL is, or if she's really known for being a "tough chick." Other than the hair shout-out, I kind of like Christina Aguilera for this....

KaDixonLaw said...

Here's what I was thinking for the AIA's in connection to Heather Locklear:

Angelina Jolie: Rumored drug problem; no rehab

Kim Richards: Richie Sambora left/cheated on Heather Locklear with Denise RICHARDS

Mischa Barton: Starred in "The OC" which aired on the Fox Network. "Melrose Place" was also on Fox.

Unknown said...

Christina AguIlera...I am out on a limb:)

AlChiz said...

Just saw Eva Mendes TV ad for Pantene. Gotta be her.

hordac said...

Heather is a native scottish flower/plant. I think in the old musical Brigadoon, there were frequent references to it. Kinda like edelweiss in Sound of Music.

Val said...

I love the girl, but this screams RIHANNA. She's been drinking ALOT. I've heard stories about her team having secret meetins to get her into rehab. And about the bisexual guy thing...there were rumors that she hooked up with Dudley O'Shaughnessy, and there are reports that he might be gay.

Lyn said...

Val, Rihanna has a Get-Out-of-Vice-Free Card for life, so Ted wouldn't write one about her. Heather Locklear's a good guess, and I'd maybe guess Demi Lovato, but this sounds like an older woman to me.....

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm brilliant. I figured out your new BV Soheila Stuff-It. Its tooootally Sinead O'Connor, right? Older, down-trodden, weird, whines about not finding love,

famously shaved head, from across the pond? Let me know!
—Rachel

Dear You're Kidding, Right?
Ha! No, Soheilia is far more beautiful—well, at least she was—and definitely more relevant."

blurry vice said...

Going with Heather Locklear for now

AlChiz said...

PS, note that the news post about Demi's going to rehab mentions that Eva Mendes went to the same place.

KaDixonLaw said...

But Eva Mendes doesn't currently appear to be out of control at all. She publicly addressed the fact that the she was proud to have faced her demons in rehab (very unlike Soheila). In addition, there was no mention of her abtastic boyfriend, Ryan Gosling, which I doubt Ted would have been able to refuse given his obsession. I don't think EM fits this. Now, Heather Locklear's issues publicly mirror Soheila's issues. If it is HL, and I'm pretty sure it is, this blind isn't very blind at all.

KaDixonLaw said...

So, I sent Ted a question to try and eliminate Eva Mendes and he answered it! It sounds like Eva and Ryan Gosling are still vice-free.

Heather Locklear FTW!!

AlChiz said...

Bravo!

EV said...

Sure hope this one was not about Whitney Houston.

blurry vice said...

"
Dear Ted:
Just heard the sad news about Whitney Houston's death. Is she Soheila Stuff-It?
—Minxx

Dear Ass-uming:
Can't we focus more on her musical legacy (a fabulous one, at that) than worrying about what secrets she may have kept? Well, from all the Q's I'm getting, it appears not. So I'll tell you: No, Whit isn't Soheila. Plus, drugs weren't her only vice."

Rita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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