One Nearly Hairless Blind Vice - July 13, 2005
Oh, not really, I guess, as I've heard this same-sex scuttlebutt about Stanley Manly for years. Just never believed. Until now. But, per usual, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Historically, Stan is one of Hollywood's premier cocksmen, digits down. Right and left, S.M. always seems to be out and about, givin' the ol' boudoir eyes to his myriad booby-dolls. He's photographed at H-town's hipper enclaves, always with at least one or two (female) pretties by his svelte side.
At home, it's not necessarily a different story. Through the years, S.M. has bedded probably as many women as Joan Rivers has offended. And then some.
But, that was then. Nowadays, Mr. M. trots on back to his fancy-ass digs and promptly ditches the dames. He then puts on something more casual to wear, maybe a little mood music. Goes on up to his massive bedroom, which is equipped with every sexual aid one could imagine. But, all Stan needs is his trusty ol' hand. For himself.
Because, these days, Stan prefers to watch. Young boys. And don't go getting any Michael Jackson ideas here, sweetheart, these girly-looking guys are of age, to be sure.
(Oh, and Stan the Man's name is not mentioned in this week's column. I see to it that he rarely is. Always thought there was something pretty fake about this weirdo.)
And it ain't: Matthew McConaughey, Verne Troyer, Owen Wilson
Also eliminated: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Luke Wilson, Jack Nicholson
Top suspect: Hugh Hefner