Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A Toothy/Jake and Reese question for Ted...

In today's Awful Truth, a reader asks about Toothy Tile AKA Jake Gyllenhaal.

Dear Ted:
Is the woman Toothy Tile's currently using as a beard also using him as a beard? In Old Hollywood, there were "lavender" marriages and relationships between two gay people of the opposite gender to throw off the public's suspicions. Do these still exist?
Des Moines, Iowa
Dear Crack Addict:
Get high much?

I don't think Reese Witherspoon is gay, and neither does Ted I don't think... Or does he? I'm not quite sure of his response here.


Anonymous said...


duffgrl said...

We are Toothy believers here! I'm not sure what he means though either-prob. that Reese is not gay.

Anonymous said...

Reese is not gay. It's very likely she's using him so she can avoid any speculation if and when she starts dating some random dude under the radar.

A lot of girls will hang with a GBFF after a particularly painful breakup. It's really the most comforting friend you can be with

duffgrl said...

I hear you, GF. I have a GBFF myself!

blurry vice said...

OK there we go.. the trolls are here! Looks like we have to start moderating the comments again. Is that you Jake?

blurry vice said...

Anyway, right... Reese is not gay. I guess Ted was saying the reader was high because of their term "lavender marriage" or whatever. I agree though, my take on it - Jake and Reese are very close friends, she loves her GBFF and she is not proactively denying the rumors because she is just going along with it as his good friend.
On a side note, I was listening to Regis and KElly in the car the other day, and Vince Vaughn was saying how there were rumors of he and Reese fighting on set, how they were false. He mentioned that "she is dating someone", so there couldn't be rumors about Reese and Vince dating. So now Vince Vaughn is in on this shananigan?

Anonymous said...

jake g. exposed!!!! read today's awful truth: toothy must be jake g.- ted signed it "toothy tell all"- the brokeback/ jake connection is obvious.
Dear Ted:
I love your column and even if you piss me off more often than not (especially when you badmouth Jennifer Aniston and Jen Garner), I just can't stop reading and following your work. I wish I knew how to quit ya! Is James Franco Toothy Tile?
Dear Toothy Tell All:
No, but dollmuff, you're so close more than a few fagolas in T-town are sweatin' plenty right about now. Nice detective work.

Julie said...

i think he was answering the question about "lavender" marriages...like does a crack addict get high? all the time.

so it happens ALL the time. idk. lol

hunter said...

I totally agree with Julie.

A crack addict DOES get high - that's what they do. Duh.