Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Lainey - No Looking, No Talking, No Breathing

Another one from Lainey today! :)

Diva antics are rather pedestrian these days so it takes a super bitch and her ass attitude to really push the envelope.

A photo shoot with a major artist. Much is riding on her new project. Everyone is busting their balls to make her look good. But it’s hard with these instructions:

Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and … don’t even breathe in her direction.

Don’t breathe in her direction!

Worse still – not sure if you know what it’s like at a photo shoot but the lighting, the set, the hair, the makeup, the equipment, it can all get pretty technical, especially for someone this important. Unfortunately, she couldn’t pose with people standing around. Girl has filled stadiums and she can’t have her photo taken with a room full of staff? Please.

So after lining up every shot, everyone but the photographer had to leave the room. Needless to say, things need tweaking from minute to minute. Literally, he would take one frame and have to call out to bring someone back in for an adjustment before moving on. Imagine – every move required another callback to have someone else run in to make a quick fix only to dash back out.

Needless to say, this extended the shoot time exponentially. And under those conditions, people are not going to be inspired to put out their best work.

Why is this such a mystery anyway? The nicer you are, the nicer you get back! Is it so hard? Is is physically difficult to be nice?

And seriously…who is she anymore anyway? She needs it more than they do. The way she’s acting though, she’ll be staring another failure straight in the face.


Update 3/3 - Lainey says it's NOT Madonna, Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Lopez, Whitney Houston, Erykah Badu, Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood.

* Top suspect: Janet Jackson

13 comments:

blurry vice said...

Filled stadiums... "another failure". Could be Britney Spears. But she said there is an upcoming project. That leads me to Jessica Simpson who is supposed to come out with an album this summer. What has Mariah Carey or Janet Jackson been up to lately? Or Avril Lavigne or Beyonce?

Melissa said...

I immediately thought Madonna until the point in the story where "she needs it" and "another failure". That's not Madge.

I'm thinking Janet Jackson, cuz really who really cares anymore? She's a crazy cartoon like the rest of her family, now. Her last couple of albums have kind of flopped, haven't they? Also, she's on a push right now - she was on Good Morning America this morning. She used to fill stadiums, though. This is about a Diva with a capital D. Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne not so much. The shoot would have ended if it was just some pop tart.

sistah2 said...

I think it is Madonna. Just saw a report that she was doing a Vanity Fair photo shoot in LA last week. Who else could command such attn? - filling stadiums, etc. also - she has had a TON of failures - her last albums haven't sold a ton, and her movies suck. So, I think its definitely Madonna.

Anonymous said...

def mariah carey and I know for sure

Anonymous said...

I agree it's Mariah. A real diva. Always on the defense, and always thinking people are out to make her look bad. Girl, people won't do that to you if you are nice. Try!

sistah2 said...

I dont think its mariah - does she sell out stadiums? Now i think its janet jackson - new album,promoting herself, lots of photo shoots .

duffgrl said...

It's someone who has an album or other major thing she is pushing. I agree it sounds like Madonna-she's been a MAJOR diva lately apparently-but what project is she pushing? janet is the one who has the HUGE album out right now. Also-someone mentioned Mariah-she also has a big album coming out,soon. Could be her.

Anonymous said...

Though it doesn't completely fit, if you read yesterday's (Friday 29) Awful Truth, it kinda looks like a big coincidence what Ted writes about Charlize Theron (who he defends, btw).

Anonymous said...

Today Ted wrote about Whitney Houston and how she is being difficult - could it be her?

Melissa said...

I'm convinced that it is almost definitely Janet Jackson. I saw a preview for Extra or some such and there was video of her Ebony photo shoot and the set looked strangely empty except for the photographer and whomever was filming the video. Lainey has never ruled her out.

blurry vice said...

I really think it is Janet Jackson too. Today she eliminated Carrie Underwood and no mention of Janet still.

blurry vice said...

Actually I just saw - today Lainey gave a BIG hint that this one is Janet Jackson. She said that the subject of the new riddle is NOT the one from this one. Then at the bottom, she said it's NOT Mimi, Janet, Madonna, or Lopez. The other three she already eliminated for this one. Janet is the only one from that group she never eliminated for this one. JANET JACKSON it is!!!

Melissa said...

I KNEW it! High five!

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