Friday, February 22, 2008

One Do Not Go There Blind Vice

From Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth Feb 22, 2008 -

Plus, guess which gay director type's gettin' lawyerly with it? That's right, it's Blind Vice Friday!

Cress Finesse is one of those multitalented, multitasking gay dudes at one of the studios that's known for making classy flicks. But C.F.'s personal life is slightly less, uh, classy. Result: Dude got fired! But hold on, HR department, Mr. F's threatening suit—and boy, did it pay off in this week's Blind Vice.

One Do Not Go There Blind Vice
Yep, it’s yet another fagola Blind tale. Get used to it, is all I have say—this town’s friggin’ filled to the brim with boy-lovin’ boys who don’t exactly want the world to know that’s how they swing. Except perhaps when their sexuality supposedly prevents them from employment. Take the case with Cress Finesse, one of those hybrid dudes who does it all at one of the studios, including directing films known for their mucho classy ambition.
Howev, Cress’ deal (C.F. has other gigs elsewhere, to be sure) was not picked up at that par-tick place of employment. Understandably, this did not please Cress. In fact, Cress, a handsome enough guy who knows his way around fine-tuning his appearance, felt especially uglied by the unfortunate sitch. So much so that Mr. F went to the powers that be who dismissed him and threatened legal action—sexual-orientation discrimination, to be exact—for not picking up the big entertainment deal at hand.

Cress’ employers were more than taken aback. They claimed they just wanted to start moving in a "different direction" than the type of work Cress was famous for. But both parties knew the score: C.F.’s frolicking—and sometimes messy—bedroom habits did play a part in the end. It remained a fella fact the studio higher-ups just weren’t too kosher with, such fools. And even though the reticent execs never thought C.F. would follow through suitwise, they did settle.

Which pleased Cress enormously. So would he have sued? Prolly. After all, Cress is getting on a bit. He’s growing tired of the facade. Gosh, must be the only homo in town who is.

And it ain't: Ron Howard, Mel Gibson, Daniel Futterman

I'm not as familiar with directors.... I have some ideas but this is one for duffgrl to research. We shall discuss in comments!


mo said...

I don't know, every producer-type guy I can think of is married and it doesn't say anything about him having a wife. Not sure who it could be.

duffgrl said...

I think this one could be Richard Hawley who was w/ Merchant Ivory and now is not.
Not sure though

blurry vice said...

Sounds good to me. I really don't know directors well enough to guess. Boring!

duffgrl said...

I really don't know but I'm thinking about it-interesting w/ the Dan Futterman AIA b/c he is also a hybrid-type-he wrote the screenplay for "Capote".
Message boards seem to think it is an actor/director but I'm not sure about that. Seems to be someone middle-aged or older who's had plastic surgery...

Anonymous said...

This is Tom Cruise. Cress means any plant from the Family Cruciferae. And if you look up Tom's bio at, he directed a number of films.

blurry vice said...

Ted says it's not George Clooney. "Think less a dude you’d like to bungle in your jungle, dear."
To me this also eliminates Tom Cruise because Ted LOVES Tom Cruise.

Anonymous said...

tired of the facade makes me think that there's a wife or a girlfriend. And I am totally missing the connection among the AIA's, confusing as ever, but I'm thinking JJ Abrams, who truly used to do everything at ABC plus he also directs films. According to imdb, he is directing a pilot that is in post-production (Dec. 07) - maybe it hasn't been picked up by ABC? He surely has other gigs. But I hope is not him!

From the guesses I've seen out there, I like Emilio Estevez.

Unknown said...

I'm not sure how well this fits, but... could this be Vin Diesel? He has been a BV (confirmed). He's produced/directed in the past (Strays, Multi-Facial, I don't know if there were others.) He's "handsome enough" and "getting on a bit" and he's reputed to be arrogant in pushing his film projects and not very subtle in his gay pickups, although he's not out.