Saturday, February 9, 2008

Lainey - Good Help is Hard to Find

We missed this one the other day. From Laineygossip Feb 5 -

Celebrities don’t always have it easy, you know. As is the case with Britney Spears, a competent assistant is a valuable commodity, especially one who won’t sell you out and will still pick up your dirty undies.

But picking up panties is one thing… picking up your drugs is another matter entirely. What’s a highly regarded actor to do when he can’t pay someone to pick up his drugs??? Especially when he has such a voracious appetite?

Given recent events, you’d think he’d know better… and while I can certainly sympathise with a serious addict, how can you sympathise with someone who would rather compromise an employee than risk getting caught?

At least own your own sh*t, you know?

But it’s all about the image isn’t it? He is an acclaimed artist, who is involved and informed and aware, idolised by some for his impish good looks – a selfish junkie isn’t usually what comes to mind. Those in the industry however have surely seen him openly spread his blow all over the dinner table, at any given party, and put half of it into his brain. So brazen is he that he used to carry his stash on his body while travelling, tucked into a coat pocket, cavalierly going through security.

Over the last three months or so however he’s suddenly become a lot more paranoid. And so the task of transporting his happy across borders has rested on his personal assistants. It took her three carries before she finally put her foot down and refused. And got fired for it. The girl who took her place made it only once before quitting herself.

He’s still looking for a replacement.

Substance abuse is one thing. Allowing someone else to take the fall for your addiction is another. Selfish prick.

As of 3/24: She has eliminated Colin Farell, P Diddy, Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom, George Clooney, Elijah Wood, Jack Nicholson, Tobey Maguire, Sean Penn, Jake Gyllenhaal, Christian Bale, Jude Law, John Cusack, Justin Timberlake, Sting, Josh Hartnett, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jamie Fox, Daniel Craig.
Our guesses in comments...


blurry vice said...

An involved and informed artist. Ben Affleck? Justin Timberlake? Why am I picturing Nicholas Cage? My husband is guessing John Mayer. I couldn't pick up any hints from this. It's a tough one... could be too many people right now. We'll know when she eliminates more and gives more hints. Any thoughts?

duffgrl said...

"Highly regarded actor" rules out Justin and John Mayer.I don't see it being Ben Affleck or Nick Cage-well,maybe Nick. My guess is Joaquin Phoenix. Lawrence Fishburne was sued by a former assistant last year-who he fired- but the reason was because she was pregnant and that's why she sued.

Anonymous said...


blurry vice said...

Leo was eliminated by Lainey the other day.
Woops missed the actor part. Joaquin Phoenix is a good guess. He is also "Crisp Lisp" (Ted BV) if you ask me.

duffgrl said...

Hugh Grant?

Anonymous said...

Since Lainey's Orlando Bloom post from Sunday referenced this dude "was on hand to witness a heartbreaking reaction to the tragedy almost first hand" - could it be someone working on "Mammoth" with Michelle Williams? The only actor of interest would be Gael Garcia Bernal ... is he "acclaimed" enough?

Anonymous said...

keanu reeves?? idk.

Anonymous said...

Gael Garcia Bernal

Colts#1Filly said...

I think Lainey just confirmed it's Gael Garcia Bernal in her post about Natalie Portman in Venice. She says, "Interestingly enough, Toronto is also where Gael experienced some assistant issues which have hopefully been resolved now that he’s pregnant."