(Divella Sniffella = Jennifer Ansiton? See comments for discussion on how Ted has contradicted himself on whether or not she is a BV.)
One Luxurious Blind Vice - April 2005
For those of you out there who are sick of the same-sex Vices, hey, just write me an extra-vitriolic email (I can
take it) and wait for next week's installment, 'kay? Otherwise, read room-service-ready on.
Trent Spent is rich as he is horny. He's also as talented as he is successful in love. T.S. recently busted up with his significant other, Divella Sniffella, a heterosexual woman who was tired of dealing with Trent's sexual preferences, which didn't always happen to include her.
Funny. While Spent's friends are busy amongst themselves with gossipy gab trying to figure out just which babely honey has replaced Divella, Trent's been down south laughing at them all.
No, not down in Mexico. Not that far. Maybe halfway or so. At a luxury spot frequented by stars who like to let it all hang out--and then some.
You see, this red-hot enclave has developed such a reputation for protecting the percolating peccadilloes of movie stars that those salty celebs have become something close to lax once they arrive. Like, maybe, for ince, Trent not hiding the fact that he regularly romps around on those down duvets with other dudes. Down, boys! Those delish manly meetings are makin' the maids talk. A lot!
And it ain't: George Clooney, John Stamos, Jamie Foxx
Also this one
One Secret Suck-Face Blind Vice - June 2005
Trent Spent should stop by to the following friskiness (as he likes a roll in the homo hay, from time to time), but alas, word might get out that he's not actually as
superhetero as the box-office-supporting public likes to think. Bummer.
Because these private get-downs up in the Hollywood Hills are becoming the place to hitch a ride on the same-sex bus to bonk heaven! Translation: orgies. For men only. Got it, Gracie? Good. Get out a couple of Trojans and trudge on:
Up until recently, these semi-private poof-poundings have been harder to get into than Katie Holmes' privates. But that appears to be changing, as certain regular guests (all of whom must be big-ish in the Biz, to insure privacy) have begun inviting lesser mortals.
Pete Poked is not happy to learn of these dangerous circumstances. As he and those of his in front of the camera have far more to lose--should the newbie commoners run screaming about their sweaty discoveries.
And it ain't: Harrison Ford & Josh Brolin, Will Smith & Josh Hartnett, Paul Newman & Josh Lucas
More people eliminated as Trent Spent were: Charlie Sheen, Tom Cruise, Usher, Colin Farrell, Josh Duhamel.
For Divella Sniffella, the only people eliminated that we know were Naomi Campbell and Chilli from TLC.
Also for Pete Poked the following were also eliminated: Josh Duhamel, Tobey Maguire, Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, Dean McDermott, Stuart Townsend, Joel Madden.
Here is the other Pete Poked BV.
* Top suspects:
Pete Poked: Orlando Bloom, Leonardo DiCaprio
Trent Spent: Brad Pitt
Divella Sniffella: Jennifer Aniston
Comment with your thoughts... I think this is all too confusing.
41 comments:
Trent Spent is not Brad Pitt IMHO.
Hmmm....what about Ben Affleck as Trent with J. Lo being Divella Sniffella? Just thinking of famous break-ups during that time.
Trent Spent is not Brad Pitt - Ted has said a few times that Brad is all about the women.
Here is a link to all the celebrity breakups in 2005: Whos Dating Who
I think the most likely on the list for Trent Spent are Leonardo DiCaprio or Orlando Bloom. Although Orlando Bloom is supposed to Pete Poked, right? Maybe Elijah Wood for Trent Spent then?
I like the Leonardo Dicaprio guess. Divella would then be Bundchen.
eddie murphy got divorced in 2005
Keanu Reeves? Superhetro-superhero...bus(speed) the word "bummer" Bill and Ted reference??
Keanu Reeves for Trent Spent and Divella Sniffella is Parker Posey ; )
Ted said that Jennifer A wasnt the subject of a blind, he didn't say she was never on the sidelines of someone else's blind.
I agree with anon 10:34 - whether or not Brad is this subject, I don't know. Maybe Jen has a name/is mentioned, but the BI isn't about her.
It isn't BP. Although, interesting that Ted mentioned in his bitch back this week that Pitt has been a subject of BI's twice.
But look at the eliminated- one is experienced, one is a little younger. If eliminated for snifella were two african american women, then don't you think she is probably african american?
This is weird.
Had Matt Damon just broken up with Winona Ryder or Minnie Driver at the time this Blind Vice was written? Yeah, the dude has two kids with his wife, but that's not 100 percent proof of heterosexuality. Damon has never seemed very masculine, IMO. How about Damon for Trent?
i agree with anon 10:34 as well. Jen is not the subject of this blind either.
It can't be Brad and Jennifer.
Jennifer didn't end it with Brad...Brad ended it with Jennifer.
"T.S. recently busted up with his significant other, Divella Sniffella, a heterosexual woman who was tired of dealing with Trent's sexual preferences".
They busted up, but from this line, it sounds like Divella ended it, because she was sick of his sexual preferences.
It's Leonardo and Gisele.
Rumors about Leonardo's homosexuality have been going around for a long time now. The couple broke up in November 2005. The babely honey who's replaced her is Bar Raphael.
Jude Law (and Sienna Miller)
- they broke up for the first time in this time period
- break up was because of affair with nanny (tired of dealing with Trent's sexual preferences, which didn't always happen to include her)
- Sienna is known coke head (Sniffella)
- he was being called a sex addict at the time, probably didn't matter which gender
Brad Pitt made it to the BV superstar gallery -
"
Brad Pitt
Just like his pretty partner Angie, Brad's got his own skeletons he doesn't want anyone knowing about. And they're just as naughty as, say, hooking up with your costar while you're still married. God forbid B.P.'s golden-boy rep be tarnished by some of his past a-hole antics.
"
"Dear Ted:
I'm a new Awful Truth convert and am starting to get hip to your lingo! So, you've said before that pretty much all of Hollywood's men have two-way streets; what about Brad Pitt?
—Eun
Dear Go-Getter:
How am I supposed to answer that?"
"Dear Ted:
What's Pete Poked been up to lately? Do you think he could give Nevis Divine any advice on how to manage a successful career with a handsome man on one arm and a fashionable woman on the other (but maybe not at the same time)?
—Single
Dear Vicers Come Together:
Sorry, would go right over Petey's head, even if Nevis would be kind enough to offer the tips (which he very well might, were he asked, he's actually a pretty chill guy). Ms. P's just gonna keep trudging through the stupid media mistakes so many others in his closeted shoes tend to make, I'm afraid."
"Dear Ted:
Has Jennifer Aniston ever been a Blind Vice? Also, though I'm sure every once in a while it hurts what Brad did to her, I think she really has moved on. My question is, I'm sure Jen could have said a lot worse to the press than "he's missing a sensitivity chip" if she wanted to about Brad. Do you think she has anything on him that she could have let slip, if she really wanted revenge? I swear, there are a whole lot of secrets in Brad's closet that Jen could have spilled. What's your take?
—ANC
Dear Ex-Factor:
Trust, Jennifer definitely took the (more) dignified route in this divorce debacle—of course, when you're married to someone for five years, you learn a few of their dirty little secrets, like what Brad liked doing down in Laguna from time to time. But, Jen A. has too much class to blab his business to the press. Plus, it totally wouldn't mesh with her laid back 'tude."
Blurry: Would it be possible to dig through the archives and bring up that "Aniston was never a BV" statement from December 2008? I'd like to see if Ted said a direct No or if he did a Taylor Swift type of thing with her. If Ted said that she never starred in her own BV, then she could still be supporting player Divella.
This was Dec 2008 -
"Dear Ted:
Has Jennifer Aniston ever been the subject of a Blind Vice? I am so sick of her Goody Two-shoes act. Always the victim, it is getting old!
—Lauren
Dear Good Girl:
Actually, no, not interesting enough!"
I could also dig up other times he has said the same thing. I don't think he's ever specified about her being a supporting player. But, in my opinion, if they are given a nickname then they are in a blind vice. If he says they haven't been, then in my opionion they haven't been given a nickname.
maybe "trojans" isn't a clue for the film but for the condoms directly, maybe trent spent once did a campaign for them?!?
ok, so leonardo/giselle could also be trent/divella...
maybe a question to ted about gisele? tnat way maybe there's also a hint about tom brady?
I really like Leo as Trent (making Giselle Divella) but wasn't there a blind semi-recently about a star taking his boytoy abroad, and people thought it was Leo because he was popping up with a young friend all over? Was that a Ted bling?
(Pics like this one at the World Cup - he was with this same kid everywhere for a while)
http://justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2463453/leo-dicaprio-horn-02/
I'll keep searching, but I can't find that blind to remember if it was Ted's or someone else's.
i don't think it was a ted-blind... or else i would remember it... i don't know much about other blinds (except laineys).
i try to think of a good question to ask ted...
OK PEOPLE!!!!
Listen up - Ted has completely CONTRADICTED HIMSELF YET AGAIN!!!!
Now Jennifer Aniston IS A BV as of 2/9, after several times saying she was not, then backtracked on 2/11 saying, "she is attached to one" "has bad company" - blah blah blah - not really answering.
In other words - Divella Snifella could be Jennifer Aniston and Trent Spent could be Brad Pitt!!!
"Dear Ted:
Did you see the Funny or Die clip with Jennifer Aniston on Between Two Ferns? I love how cool and down-to-earth she is, which is one of the many reasons I
like her. Does she have a Vice? I hope it has nothing to do with her 'tude.
—yorkie bearsh
Dear Flying Solo:
Talk about the perfect poster child for singles V Day! I absolutely adore her, her hair and whatever the frick she does—save maybe a few of movies, though,
must say. This cool chick doesn't technically have her own Vice (she has a cameo in a couple of others'), and I personally hope it stays that way. She
deserves some normal dude. Crossing my fingers she has a stand-up secret admirer for today."
I KNEW IT! TED ANSWERED MY QUESTION. SHE IS BOTH DIANDRA DOPE AND DIVELLA SNIFFELLA!!!
"Dear Ted:
Regarding Jennifer Aniston's supporting role in a few Blind Vices: Was she given a nickname? Was it the same nickname for all of these supporting roles, or more than one since it wasn't a starring role?
—C.L.
Dear Friendly Friend:
In order you asked, yes, yes, two."
Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b226718_bitch-back_whos_courting_jennifer.html#ixzz1ELjPBRvn
Hi Blurry
First time poster here but I've been reading this and Ted's site for a couple of years (almost every day - sad I know).
Anyway I think Ted was saying that JA has only one nickname as a side character if the answers in order are yes/yes/no:
1) Was she given a nickname? yes
2) Was it the same nickname for all of these supporting roles? yes
3) ...or [was it] more than one since it wasn't a starring role? no
If we have to chose, I think he fits Divella Snifella better than Diandra Dope as Trent Spent screams Brad Pitt to me.
Pete Poked - either Orlando Bloom or Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Dear Ted:
Can you please clarify something for the readers? Based on the revelation that Jennifer Aniston has been a supporting character in a couple of Blinds, can you please tell us, did she or did she not have two separate Blind Vice names for each of the two roles? Or do the rules of starring role B.V.s (i.e., one moniker per person, not per Blind) not apply to supportive roles? This is creating an uproar among your most loyal fans!
—Ella
Dear OCD:
Jennifer Aniston has never had more than one name, supporting or otherwise, in the Blind Vice annals, does that help?"
Not sure if Brad Pitt or not but... perhaps "Trojans" is a reference to the movie Troy where he played Achilles.
And has JA ever had rumors of her liking the white powder? Trying to figure out how Sniffella would apply to her.
I KNOW we are all 100% convinced that Jakey poo is Toothy. Me too. But get this:
Dear Ted:
Where is Jake Gyllenhaal? When he is promoting a movie, the paps are all over him with his lunch dates and his hand-in-hand strolls with various cuties. When he is not promoting, he disappears off the face of the Earth. What gives?
—Orangepants
Dear Jake-aholic:
Not altogether true, babe. Jakey just supported his old Brokeback Mountain costar Michelle Williams for her New York premiere of My Week With Marilyn. But I'm sure he's about to get his butt to a secluded tropical pool somewhere soon. What I would give to be his cabana boy. Actually, Jake's pretty serious about his private time. He likes to get away so he can totally be himself. The Jake you see in public is so not the real him.
Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/the_awful_truth/morning_mail_where_does_dreamy_jake/269133#ixzz1agZzxsXX
Dear Ted:
Has Jennifer Aniston ever been a Blind Vice? Also, though I'm sure every once in a while it hurts what Brad did to her, I think she really has moved on. My question is, I'm sure Jen could have said a lot worse to the press than "he's missing a sensitivity chip" if she wanted to about Brad. Do you think she has anything on him that she could have let slip, if she really wanted revenge? I swear, there are a whole lot of secrets in Brad's closet that Jen could have spilled. What's your take?
—ANC
Dear Ex-Factor:
Trust, Jennifer definitely took the (more) dignified route in this divorce debacle—of course, when you're married to someone for five years, you learn a few of their dirty little secrets, like what Brad liked doing down in Laguna from time to time. But, Jen A. has too much class to blab his business to the press. Plus, it totally wouldn't mesh with her laid back 'tude.
This answer really makes me believe that Brad is Trent Spent!!!!
Today Ted practically revealed that Trent Spent is Brad Pitt, since he's attending the Oscars.
I'm thinking RDJ for Trent Spent
Didn't Ted say that 4 of this years oscar nominees had BVs?
Rooney Mara
George Clooney
Michelle Williams
Jonah Hill
Brad Pitt
Gary Oldman
Jessica Chastain
Yes Trent Spent will be a part of the Oscars this year in some way. Eitehr a nominee, presenter, or will be at the parties.
Brad Pitt still fits description... but who knows... stay tuned.
Brad Pitt definitely fits with Ted's answer in todays BB.
"Dear Ted:
Before the Oscars, you posted a sort of a follow-up on our fave BV stars. So how about grading their Oscar performances for us long-time followers: Did Fake
a la Ferocity look ferocious or high-flying sex kitten? Did Fey Oiled-Tush behave behind the scenes, or did he feel as misplaced as last year's Louboutins?
And my favorite that you don't talk much about: Trent Spent. How is old Trent doing these days with his significant other? Is he tiring of her shenanigans
and ready to jump ship? Hope he doesn't play yet again the victim though, I am tired of his hurting sad eyes when things don't go his way. Much love to you
and your four-legged fam!
—Rita
Dear Oscar BV Update:
Here's the lowdown for ya R: Fake looked divine but was lacking a certain something in her Oscar appearance. Fey Oiled-Tush was surprisingly well-behaved
behind the scenes as he let others steal the spotlight (like Fake). As for Trent? He may be tired of his gal's shenanigans, but after last night, it's
obvious who wears the pants in this duo. In other words, don't expect Trent to dip out anytime soon. But the real Vice star of the night? Most definitely
Chuck Finger-Dingle, who also looked spectacular and very out of character. Satisfied?
Dear Ted:
Well, hindsight sure makes Trent Spent look incredibly easy to determine. Thanks for the clarification on Barbie Sinatra...I focused too much on
nurse/teacher/doctor...perhaps the online gossip is true and it isn't a coincidence that you posted that Blind update on a Wednesday? I'm not 100 percent
sold on that one, but it seems to make sense. Some people like Sunday Times crosswords...I like the Blind Vices. Keep 'em comin', Ted.
—HK
Dear Sunday BV Fun Day:
Not sure what your question is H, but I will tell you that you're over-thinking the Wednesday update. Next time come back with a guess, and I'll be sure to
dish tons more deets! And thanks for the love!"
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