Friday, January 23, 2009

One Black Boys are Delicious Blind Vice

New from the Awful Truth today...

One Black Boys are Delicious Blind Vice

Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool
in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit.
She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure!
Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to
be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately,
she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again.
Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her
latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and
shocking past, which includes:
Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they
were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the
gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know?
Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became
even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams,
snorts and clandestine meetings became so...well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had
to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks
from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick.
Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged,
far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved
way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words.

And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere


Update 3/5/09 - Ted has also eliminated Lucy Liu, Carrie Underwood, Sienna Miller, Jennifer Aniston, Hilary Duff, Megan Fox, Paris Hilton with P-Diddy (but close on this pair)., Natalie Portman, Nick Cannon.

* Our top guess: Cameron Diaz and ?.

118 comments:

Anonymous said...

Drew Barrymore

Anonymous said...

Drew Barrymore.

Beth said...

Drew has been in rehab and slept around plenty, I wouldn't guess her..
Emily Blunt is in a new realtionship..
Natalie Portman is kindof the perfect girl,
Cameron Diaz is in alot of movies..
One of those 3???

Anonymous said...

There isn't enough info on Wally Wallup to determine who it is...but definitely without a doubt Drew. "a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and
shocking past." Everyone knows about her past drinking and drug problem when she was a girl...but there hasn't been any rumors about her immediate past. She seems squeeky clean. Honestly...she still is if you ask me. I love her.

Momfixit said...

I am leaning more towards Cameron Diaz than Drew. "From always dating the hippest dude" - Drew's hook-ups were not really hip, while Cameron had Justin T. and Matt Dillon. And "as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged,
far-less-athletic nooky partner" implies PCC is athletic. I would also be interested in finding out who the dude is!

Anonymous said...

Cameron Diaz. lainey's hints that Drew seemed a bit 'high' at the Globes though make me think it could be her too.

Anonymous said...

kate hudson!

Anonymous said...

Cameron Diaz and P Diddy. Anyone else think so?

Anonymous said...

Cameron Diaz and Diddy OR Kate Hudson and Baron Davis.

Mary said...

Sounds like Kate Hudson to me. Cameron Diaz has not been in a hit movie for awhile neither has Drew Barrymore. Don't know who the dude is, but PDiddy is a good guess.

Anonymous said...

whether she's been in a hit movie or not.. this blind DEFINITELY fits Cameron Diaz.. she's been in tons of hit movies, she's dated tons of hot guys, she's always seemed like the girl next door, 'enviable girl power, so pure' -- makes me think about Charlie's Angels... it could be anyone but Diddy is a good guess.

the last guy she dated was that surfer guy.. can't remember her name. she's now currently dating some model that Jennifer Aniston dated at one point.

I'm convinced this is Cameron.

Anon - 4:00pm ET

Anonymous said...

my first thought was cameron diaz, but thinking about it further, kate hudson is a good choice too. and i think that the 'far less athletic' comment refers to her new bf being less athletic than her last 'cool' bf - meaning lance armstrong maybe?

Anonymous said...

It's Natalie Portman.

Cameron is dating a hunky, hot model with very nice muscles...so it definitely can't be her. Ted says..."as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner."

Drew Barrymore can't be the one doing drugs. She was addicted at a very young age, and had extensive rehab. Addicts can't just do drugs once in a while for fun, without falling off the wagon and becoming completely addicted again. Drew looks fantastic lately.

Anonymous said...

so how can this be Natalie Portman? I'm not convinced this is Kate Hudson either.

Cameron's previous BF was a professional surfer.. now she's dating a model.

As for Kate Hudson, she is CURRENTLY dating a pro golfer.. so the less athletic bit doesn't fit.

Anonymous said...

I think it's Natalie, because she fits the description. so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool. Isn't she also involved politically? Kinda does the AJ thing, on a lesser scale. She has an excellent reputation. She was also seen driving a Prius in San Francisco recently. It's definitely not Kate H. She's not starring in the latest hit. Her movies do ok, but not hits.

Anonymous said...

I think it's natalie. The hotel is Chateu Marmont and if you google the two together, at least 6 seperate instances after breaking with the hipster Devandra she was there.

Anonymous said...

jen aniston is my pick. no idea on the guy.

Anonymous said...

I am anonymous 4:00, I am with you 100%. I hadn't even made it through the first sentence and I was convinced this is Cameron.

The boy I am not so sure about.

Anonymous said...

Could this be Gwyneth Paltrow?

kanonymous said...

"Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around!"

It's not Drew Barrymore, who has had well-known addiction problems in the past. This is someone people would be shocked to learn of the coke use.

kanonymous said...

It's not Kate Hudson. She's single.

kanonymous said...

I don't think it's Natalie Portman. She's dated a bunch of unknown, grungy guys, not exactly "the hippest dude"s.

kanonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kanonymous said...

I don't think it's Jennifer Aniston. She's been pretty open about her drug use. Even though she's always talked about marijuana, I don't think it would be a surprise if she did cocaine. I think this is someone we think of as drug free.

kanonymous said...

No this cannot be Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth has been married for several years to a guy named Chris Martin. They have two children together. Prius Crotch-Catch is just dating someone with whom she hasn't been with very long.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I had to respond to kanonymous's statement: "Gwyneth has been married for several years to a guy named Chris Martin." Um, kanonymous, did you ever think that people who comment on a blind gossip site kind of know that Gwyneth is married to the Coldplay guy? It's not Gwyneth, anyway.

Anonymous said...

I'm calling it here - Kate Hudson (Baron Davis is great guess for WW).
Latest hit - check
dating hippest dude (Lance, MM, Owen) - check
far less athletic partner (golfer, who is athletic but less atheletic than Davis who is NBA player) - check

Anonymous said...

Could it be Anne Hathaway? She's Hollywood's latest sweetheart and she could have a dark past after dating that shady raffaello guy.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's Kate Hudson. Wasn't she Princess Gold Zwinger or something like that? Ted says he doesn't assign two names to the same person.

Anonymous said...

I think it is someone FAR younger than Kate Hudson or Cameron Diaz. My first thought since starting reading was Hayden Panettiere, but Ted eliminated her. Natalie Portman seems like a good guess, as does Anne Hathaway...

Anonymous said...

Let's go down the list of who Cameron Diaz has dated:

* Matt Dillon
* Jared Leto
* Robbie Williams
* Justin Timberlake
* Dijmon Honsou
* Kelly Slater
* John Mayer
* Bradley Cooper
* Gerard Butler
* Kevin Connolly


And yeah, she was one of the first people to get a Prius [in the US] back when they started the "Green Movement." She's been in some very big hits [although not recently but still.]

The hotel is probably the "W" or CM , either one.

Seriously, tell me it's not Cammie.

Anonymous said...

It's not Cammie.. LOL I"m kidding.. i'm with u.. I'm convinced this is Cameron.

sistah2 said...

yes I agree its probly CD. Anon above, props to your list of CD date-ees,,,

kanonymous said...

"Okay, I had to respond to kanonymous's statement: 'Gwyneth has been married for several years to a guy named Chris Martin.' Um, kanonymous, did you ever think that people who comment on a blind gossip site kind of know that Gwyneth is married to the Coldplay guy? It's not Gwyneth, anyway."

I never said it was Gwyneth; my comment was in response to someone else's comment that it was Gwyneth. No offense, but you need to recognize sarcasm when you see it! Hahaha, I'm still laughing.

Anonymous said...

I totally think it Cameron. She was sneaking around with Diddy a while back wasn't she? And she just seems "loud" in general. Plus she drives a Prius. Kate Hudson is a good guess though too. Ultimately, Cameron though. Has anyone emailed Ted?

Anonymous said...

Actually I just realized Kate Hudson is already Princess Gold Zinger, so it cant be her unless Ted is re-naming....

Anonymous said...

Oh, and don't be so sure Drew isn't doing drugs anymore! At least not what I heard from the bouncer at an after hours club I frequent. It was during her Mac Guy phase if I'm not mistaken. Plus "addicts" are also not supposed to drink, and she definitely goes there! ;)

Mary3120 said...

Kate Hudson as "pure"?? Don't thinks so, gossip columns have criticised her for jumping from one dude to another, and hinted that she and Lance were using each other for PR.

Girl power sounds more like Cameron Diaz, she did the Charlie's Angels movies & she surfs in real life.

Anonymous said...

I'm on the Cameron Diaz boat too. Remember awhile ago when her and P. Diddy/Diddy/Puffy/Sean Combs whoever he is seemed to be photographed a lot together. I think it might have been around some awards show, 08 Oscars perhaps? I only remember this because at the time I was totally like, WTF how do they even know each other?

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's Cameron. If Ted doesn't use the same name twice, then I seriously doubt this would be his first blind item about her.

Anonymous said...

It's Cameron! Period!

Anonymous said...

There is nothing studly about P.Diddy, so scratch him off the list! Seriously. There are MANY studly and rich black men who are famous or infamous athletes, rather than musicians or actors.

Anonymous said...

Any other ideas on who Wally might be?

Anonymous said...

But Cameron doing drugs wouldn't surprise me...or her sleeping around. She seems like she knows how to party. She doesn't come across as a good girl at all. Fun girl, but not a good girl. She also has been with her current boyfriend for a while now. They're even moving in together.

Natalie and Anne H. seem like a better guess. I picture them both at home, drinking tea by the fire, sitting and reading novels on weekends. I would be very shocked to find out that either did drugs.

I know Natalie dates the hippest, artistic kind of guys. Which one of those two are politically aware and dating a skinny, non-athletic guy?

jennatar said...

Mark his snoopy words? Are we supposed to be thinking Snoop Dogg? WTF?

Anonymous said...

a blurb in a W Magazine article...

"Actually, since Natalie Portman is known for being fairly political and discusses her opinions often, I’m surprised you chose to read them at all. ..."

I defininitely think it's Natalie.

Anonymous said...

I think it's Drew Barrymore. The girl power thing does maybe indicate Cameron or Drew (Charlie's Angels), but there are a couple of hints that indicate Drew.
First of all, the hippest dudes thing. She's dated Corey Feldman (who was like the coolest guy of the 80s), Luke Wilson, Tom Green (at the only time people considered him funny/famous), Fabrizio Moretti (of the Strokes, and when they were the it band- also, 'so fab that Prius has met her match: a hint to Fab?), Johnny Borrell, and then Justin Long (when he was famous as the Mac Guy). So it definitely makes sense about the hippest guy thing. And she's not dating anyone now.

The hits: He's Just Not That Into You, and Grey Gardens is meant to be an award favorite.
I don't know about the new guy though.

Course, the AIAs indicate maybe a younger person. And also, I do think there's a couple of strong indications that other people have already mentioned of this being Kate Hudson.

Anonymous said...

DB owns a Prius.
SJ is in a movie produced by DB (He's Just Not That Into You)
But there's a Ryan connection with the AIA's.
And DB dated Ryan Phillippe waaay back.
Ryan Reynolds & ScarJo are married.
Ryan Gosling was dating Rachel McAdams.
Hayden Panettiere was in a movie with Ryan Kelley (she also announced the 2008 Golden Globes with Ryan Reynolds and was rumoured to be dating Ryan Gosling a couple of years ago).

Course I wouldn't have said that Justin Long was athletic.

Anonymous said...

But then Cameron DIaz was rumored to be "seeing" Diddy.

Anonymous said...

Mandy Moore or Natalie Portman all the way.

Anonymous said...

But neither Mandy Moore nor Natalie Portman are always starring in the latest hit... What about Jennifer Aniston? She has a Prius, is definitely always in the news (if not making "hit" movies), and she's had her way around Hollywood. Plus, she's so sweet and unsuspecting... and I wouldn't exactly describe John Mayer as athletic. I think it's worth some thought...

Anonymous said...

Jen Aniston owns a Prius?? Are we sure about this? I wouldn't think it's her - she doesn't always date the hippest dude or star in the latest hit. I'm leaning towards Drew on this one. But is she currently dating anyone? There were rumours about her and Jason Segal, but did that last more than a week?

Anonymous said...

Drew did an interview with E!Online's Marc Malkin for the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You," where she says she's been single for 8 mths. It's not Drew.

Anonymous said...

Who of these ladies are involved in politics? That's a clue everyone is forgetting about.
Cameron
Drew
Natalie
Anne H
Kate H
Jennifer A
Mandy M.

I know Jennifer A and Kate H aren't...but I don't know who else is, except for Natalie and Cameron...possibly Drew.

Kate is also Princess Gold Zinger...so it's definitely not her. Mandy is not in any hit movies.

It has to be between Cameron, Drew, Natalie and Anne.

Anonymous said...

Anyone immediately remembering hearing some link between Cam and Djimon Honsou not too long ago? I mean, obvs prior to the baby-with-Kimora-Lee thing, but not eons back...

Anonymous said...

Definitely Cameron and Diddy.

Anonymous said...

Why not Jennifer Aniston? 'So down with everything cool' could be a reference to her statement about the Brangelina situation being 'uncool' - a big deal has been made about this.
Also, I have heard that her 'romance' with Mayer is just for show/publicity.
And 'lately she's been on her own' - a reference to her not seeming to have met anyone serious since Bradley. She has been in that latest hits - 'Marley and me' and there is a reference to 'snoopy' - could this be a dog reference about her Marley movie.
She also has the 'girl next door' image going, so 'surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around!' could be referring to this.
Just my thoughts...

Anonymous said...

I like your reasoning for Aniston, but Ted has just said PCC is only a little bit older than Carrie Underwood, so maybe Aniston is too old? Also PCC is not a "dark beauty" so that rules out Hathaway. Hudson is maybe my fave guess now, she is only 4 years older than Underwood.
But all the AIAs were at inaugural balls, so I am thinking this is someone who was also there.

kanonymous said...

"Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around!"

Seriously, this DOES NOT DESCRIBE Drew Barrymore. Drew has been to rehab how many times? Drew has been an addict since she was what, 10?

kanonymous said...

"Hudson is maybe my fave guess now, she is only 4 years older than Underwood."

Kate Hudson is Princess Goldzinger. She can't be Prius Crotch-Catch.

Since when is Kate Hudson "politically aware"?

kanonymous said...

"Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs"

Jennifer Aniston has admitted several times in interviews that she has done drugs in the past, does them presently, and plans on doing them occasionally in the future.

This is not Jennifer Aniston.

Anonymous said...

I think this is Renee Zellweger.

1) Drives a Prius
2) Dates the popular man of the moment: Jim Carrey, Jack White, Kenny Chesney,
3) Rumored to be dating MSNBC news correspondent Dan Adams, who probably doesn't take his shirt off as often as Kenny Chesney
4) She was single for a looong time.
5) Active in various charities: HIV prevention campaign, recently has done work for hunger charities
6) Has movie opening this weekend

Anonymous said...

I just posted the above. It can't be Renee, Drew, Cameron OR Jennifer Aniston.

Ted has eliminated Lucy Liu and Carrie Underwood, saying that Prius Crotch-Catch is SLIGHTLY older than Carrie Underwood. So PCC must be in her 20s.

Back to the drawing board.

kanonymous said...

The only reason I don't like Renee Zellweger is a guess is for the political part.
"Active in various charities: HIV prevention campaign, recently has done work for hunger charities."

Yeah, that's charity work, but not necessarily political.

She has said several times in interviews that she does not care to get involved in politics and, while she definitly has political opinions, she does not wish to air them publicly.

kanonymous said...

"slightly older" can mean many things. It doesn't necessarily mean Prius Crotch-Catch is in her twenties. That's assuming a lot. Who knows how much "slightly" is? After all, Carrie is almost 26. I would say this person could very well be in her thirties.

Anonymous said...

I think this is Cameron. the other women mentioned above would never be categorized as "so gorgeous." Not sure who Wally Wallup is...could it be Derek Jeter or another pro athlete? Wallup makes me think it's a baseball player.

Anonymous said...

Quoted from Awful Truth:

Dear Ted:
Is P C-C Carrie Underwood? Just wondering...seems kinda obvious. Unless I'm wrong, and then I'm just guessing. Love ya!
—Lady

Dear Cocky Carrie:
That would be a negative on Carrie. Think slightly older. But just slightly.

It is NOT Cameron Diaz. 36 is NOT "just slightly" older than 26.

Miriam said...

I am quite sure it's Cameron Diaz. CDAN had a blind about Cameron and Diddy and it also said that once she was drugged up, he also passed her around to friends.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Prius Crotch-Catch must be Lucy Liu!
—Tara

Dear Missed Catch:
Prius isn't a dark beauty. But she sure as hell is a beaut!"

- hint for cameron diaz i think

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is P C-C Carrie Underwood? Just wondering...seems kinda obvious. Unless I'm wrong, and then I'm just guessing. Love ya!
—Lady

Dear Cocky Carrie:
That would be a negative on Carrie. Think slightly older. But just slightly."

blurry vice said...

Wasn't Cameron Diaz publicly dating Dijmon Hinsou? This was a while ago, now he is dating Kimora Lee Simmons. But I know that Cameron and Djimon said they were "just friends". If this BV is about them, then it's nothing scandalous bc we all knew about it.

sistah2 said...

So this is a blonde only SLIGHTLY older than CU people!!! 10 yrs is not SLIGHTLY. I also thought CD, but you need to move on - we need fresh guesses here.

blurry vice said...

I know, the age doesn't fit. Moving on I guess...

Anonymous said...

This must be Natalie Portman. Most of the reasons have already been listed, but for the people who have said, "But she's not involved in politics..." type "Natalie Portman And Politics" into your Google search screen.

1. She did a "Funny or Die" video to encourage voting.
2. She bashed Pres. Bush on Letterman.
3. She supports gay marriage
4. "Her life is enveloped by politics

I think we have a winner.

kanonymous said...

Okay, but does "from always dating the hippest dude" describe Natalie? Most of the guys I've seen her with have been weird-looking, unknown, or both.

kanonymous said...

How do we know the subject is blonde?

kanonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kanonymous said...

Kate Bosworth drives a Prius. She modeled DKNY Jeans Rock the Vote t-shirts. She has dated Orlando Bloom.

She is also only two months older than Carrie Underwood, which goes with "Think slightly older. But just slightly."

She has been with James Rousseau for almost 20 years, though . . .

Anonymous said...

OK...it can't be Natalie, Anne, Drew, Cameron, Jen A. now. It also isn't Kate Hudson, because she's Princess Goldzinger...and is by no means innocent. When someone named Lucy Lui, he said it wasn't a dark beauty...which means she's light haired.

It's someone who apparently drives a Prius or is very into the environment and politics.

Someone who has a squeeky clean image (goody goodyish)

It's someone who is in a lot of hit movies.

It's someone who usually dates the popular "man of the hour".

It's someone who has been single for a while now...and is now dating a non-athletic guy.

It's someone who is slightly (stress the slightly) older than Carrie Underwood, which rules out Drew and Cameron, since they're a generation older than Carrie (10 years).

I was thinking Amanda Bynes, but her movies aren't hits. I can't think of any lighter haired girls in hit movies who are innocent and sweet, who are just a teeny bit older than Carrie.

Anonymous said...

What about Kirsten Dunst? I personally don't think she's "so gorgeous" and outside of Spiderman she hasn't had a hit in a while, but she's dated some MAJOR players... Leo, Tobey Maguire, Jake G, Zach Braff, Adam Levine, Andy Samburg, Orlando Bloom, Adam Brody, Adrian Grenier, Kelly Slater, Ryan Gosling, Josh Hartnett... She's also only a year older than Carrie (who is 25 until March)... but I wouldn't be that surprised if she were into drugs... I don't know, I'm kinda stumped on this one...

Anonymous said...

I don't think that "dark beauty" necessarily means dark haired, esp. since it was applied to Lucy Liu, it could just mean darker skinned... Here are some options that are within a few months to maybe 2 years older than Carrie: Jessica Simpson, Sienna Miller, Paris Hilton, Anne Hathaway (only 5 months older than C), Kate Bosworth (only 2 months older), Jessica Biel, Katherine Heigl

kanonymous said...

Since Kirsten Dunst has been to rehab, I'm pretty sure that rules her out. Plus, the media always makes fun of her for being ugly.


And Amanda Bynes is way younger than Carrie Underwood anyway.

kanonymous said...

Christina Ricci?

ktamc said...

Kate Hudson

Anonymous said...

I think dark beauty, means anyone who is dark haired. Lucy Liu is light skinned, but dark hair, as is Anne, Christina Ricci.

Kate Hudson is out...Cameron is out...Drew is out...Natalie is out...Jennifer A is out...Kirsten D is out...Paris is definitely out...Katherin H is married, so she's out...Jessic Simpson was a blind vice in the past, and she's not innocent anyway, so she's out...Jessica Biel has been dating Justin for a long time already...so she's out (plus her movies aren't hits). Kate Bostworth isn't in a lot of hit movies, so she's out.

Who are we missing? Who is light, policitcal, environmentalist, innocent image, hit movies, dates popular guys...

How old is Amy Adams? She's been in so many hits lately. How old is she? She's someone I'd never expect in a million years to use drugs or sneak off to hotel rooms.

Anonymous said...

Emily Blunt?

Anonymous said...

i thought about Amy Adams a lot but she's 34 and she's been with her boyfriend since 2002... I also thought maybe Isla Fisher since she's sweet and adorable and about to come out with Confessions of a Shopaholic which will be a big hit, but she's 32 and married... I can't figure out who we might be missing! Maybe we should think more on the TV side of things... or music? I really don't know...

Anonymous said...

It's Pink!

Anonymous said...

who would be surprised if Pink did drugs? plus she just got back together with her ex-husband so he's not a new dude

kanonymous said...

Isla Fisher is not married, but she has been in a relationship for about 8 years.

P.M. said...

kristen bell?

Anonymous said...

Ummmmm, anon 12:02 why are you eliminating all those chicks as if they are actually eliminated? Dark beauty does nto neccesarily mean dark haired. All the ladies you mentioned are NOT eliminated until TED says so.
Moron. Amy Adams is red haired.

Anonymous said...

CAMERON DIAZ! Duh! So easy! Gotta be!

P.M. said...

Nice attitude Anon at 5:39 :/ But I agree with the other anon. What else could dark beauty mean? Obviously skin color doesn't matter since Lucy Liu is Asian, so it is obviously referring to hair, since its the ONLY thing dark on her. Why would he use her as an example to eliminate "dark beauties." And all the "and it aints" are blonde-ish. If anything, it's probably someone with light hair, if not blonde, maybe dirty blonde/light brown.

I also agree it's someone late twenties, MAYBE early 30s, still leaves Cameron out. He did make a point about the objective being only "slightly" older.

Still lost though :/

Anonymous said...

Anna Faris?

Anonymous said...

anna faris just got engaged to chris pratt and she is 32, so too old for just slightly more than Carrie

Anonymous said...

My guess is with Natalie Portman. Wouldn't be considered a dark beauty I don't think. Lightish hair, Sort of has an innocence about her. Age range fits. And, since he makes a point about her beauty, I'd say it looks like her. She is one of the most eautiful women out there. Shes also fiercely political and has been alone after splitting from her weirdo boyfriend last year.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 12:59.

No need to be nasty and start name calling. If you don't like my guesses or opinions, then just ignore them. I'm sorry if my ruling people out is bothering you, but I didn't realize my opinions had that much power to you. I'll try to consider your feelings with any future guesses.

And yes, Amy Adams is a red head, which means she's not a dark beauty, but apparently another poster said she's too old, so that rules her out. I hope my ruling her out doesn't upset you. You can keep her in on your list if you'd like.

Anonymous said...

I love Anna Faris...and she seems so sweet and nice. She'd be a decent guess. I'd love to say Natalie Portman, but she's a dark beauty.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Prius Crotch Catch from One Black Boys Are Delicious Blind Vice Sienna Miller? I think it might be her.
—S

Dear Rumor Mill:
Hell no, Sienna is very out in the open with her slut-capades!"

Beauty for ashes said...

i don't think the "slightly older" than carrie underwood comment has to mean only a few years. ted might have just been clarifying that it's not someone much, much older. this sounds like cameron diaz to me, even with the age reference.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Jennifer Aniston Prius Crotch-Catch? I've got it, haven't I?
—Jamie, San Antonio, Texas

Dear Aniston Angle:
Prius' past is a lot more hush-hush. Jenny's conquests are always too public—the way she likes 'em."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I read your column faithfully from Italy every day! You're fantastic! I'm curious, is Prius Hilary Duff? Also, Vladimir Luxuria has become very popular in Italy for her recent victory on our version of Survivor! She was a minister in the Italian government. She is a transvestite, has made quite a difference in Italy and is a great role model.
—Lily

Dear Trantastic:
A transvestite crossing boundaries in government and on the boob tube? Nice to see it's possible somewhere, if not my home base. Good news to hear, but bad news on your Prius guess—try again. Think older, hotter and more desperate."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
I'm new to your Awful Truth page but have been reading mobile E! Online for quite some time, and I gotta say you are one good-looking man! I feel like Elaine Bennes when she gets a crush on a man she is supposed to be a beard for! Hope you understand my Seinfeld analogy. Here's my question is PCC Megan Fox?
—Jen

Dear Frail Fox:
PCC is older and has been around longer than deelish Megs. And much thanks by the way, you're a doll!"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
OK, I am thinking Prius Crotch-Catch and Wally from One Black Boys Are Delicious Blind Vice are Paris Hilton and P. Diddy? Or Terri Hatcher?
—Lily

Dear Perfect Match:
How close you are on that first pair."

mercury395 said...

Does that mean that it's Cameron and Diddy?

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Is Prius Crotch-Catch Natalie Portman? And Wally Wallup Nick Cannon?—Nina

Dear Catch a Portman:
Sorry, doll-muff, Nat's secrets are far less sexually exciting. And you're very close guessing Cannon."

Antionette said...

Cameron Diaz and Suge Knight!!!

cassandra said...

its cameron diaz and p-diddy

kindermusik said...

Its totally Cam and Diddy. There are articles all over about their dinners and partying together. This was happening mid 2008 ish? And she was also linked with Gerard Butler in 2008, who could be the less-athletic replacement.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Has Cameron Diaz ever starred in her own B.V.? Could it possibly be related to her oddball performance while presenting with Tom Cruise at the MTV Movie Awards?
—Mexico Mariana

Dear Something About Cam:
Oh yeah, but a ways back. Don't think Cammy gets into quite as much trouble as she used to. And it was never very sordid to begin with, really, just letting loose with gusto."

Kate16 said...

Ted posted today:
"Cammy D's naughty, just-do-it motto certainly reminds us of her Blind Vice...
Let's just say it's an oldie but a goodie, and Miss Diaz is not starring in it alone. The stud she shares it with is totally random and totally awesome. If only C.D. would talk about some of her stories with that dude, then we'd be even more on Cam's page."

Read more: http://au.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b187117_would_you_do_cameron_diazlips_zipped.html?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-awful&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_awful#ixzz0rd1cujMc
This HAS to be Cam's BV.

Kimstyle said...

This is definitely Cam... I'm dying to know who the guy is!!!! I'm swaying towards diddy though... Remember when he was going on and on about his tantric sex? And we all know Cam, loves her some sex.... I think they fit...

Margo said...

Cameron Diaz and A-Rod (wallup....hitting a baseball) these 2 have been pictured together often recently.

blurry vice said...

Margo - this BV is from January 2009. Also, A-Rod is not black, he is hispanic.

blurry vice said...

""Dear Ted:
I was wondering if Cameron Diaz shares her vice with Leonardo DiCaprio. I remember seeing pictures of them promoting Gangs of New York back in the day. And you know, both of them like to have their share of fun. Am I close?
—Gi

Dear Hotness Alert:
Such a fab guess, babe! And while we're on the subject, I would totally approve of those two dating (or at least sexing). But no, Cammy shares her Vice with someone so random I doubt any of you would guess the mystery fella."

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
We haven't heard from Prius Crotch-Catch lately. Is she still as laid-back as ever, or is it all a ruse?
—Lauren

Dear OMG:
I totally forgot about her! She is one of my fave Vicers! Prius is still her usual cool, laid-back self and still uncommitted (for the most part). Though I

must say, I'm not entirely approving of her recent taste in bed buddies."

blurry vice said...

A-Rod the bad taste in recent bed buddies

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