Sunday, June 29, 2008

Two from NYDN

From the New York Daily News' Full Disclosure 6/29/08-
Which posh Hamptons club called a car service and a private doctor to sneak out a drug-addled starlet last weekend so that local police wouldn't get wind of her conking out in the public bathroom?

And from NYDN Rush & Molloy 6/27/08-
Which movie star was so threatened by his A-list girlfriend's assistant that he had her fired?

Friday, June 27, 2008

Lainey - Two Boys in the City

Two Boys in the City

First fellow has been the subject of gay speculation for years. He’s had the luxury of hiding behind those with a higher profile and then later in obscurity while others have dominated the smutty landscape. Not that it would matter either way but it’s been decided for the greater good by committee that he remain vague about the fact that he likes boys better than girls.

Vague is better than fraud. And picking up in Gaytown is much better than doing it 70s style in the forest like George Michael. Now that he’s single, having broken up with a longterm boyfriend, with whom he was living openly back home, he was seen at 2am very recently in an area where the homos hang, propositioning a male acquaintance to join him back at the hotel. Unfortunately he had his signals crossed. The object of his sleepover was not interested.

Second fellow is a full on fraud, and it would appear that his now defunct relationship was an attempt to cover a close friendship that was tingling all our smutty senses. The man who made him has since leaked several stories to make sure his female fanbase doesn’t defect. Which is why, the next night across town at the afterparties, he felt secure enough to make out hard and wet, boogie and get down, with a boy rather light on his feet, in more ways than one, but much less famous. Now he and Britney have something in common.

Update July 9 - NOT John Travolta, Justin Timberlake, Kenny Chesney, Ryan Seacrest, Ed Westwick, 50 Cent, Mario Lopez, Ricky Martin, Robbie Williams, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom, Mike Myers.

One Privately Eased Blind Vice


Sugar and Vice Makes Everything... Not So Nice
Blind Vice Friday reveals—almost—which megasuccessful star is cleaning up her habit, just so she can go right back out and shoot up again! Hideous!

She Don't Wanna Go To Rehab
Fake à la Ferocity returns, and she'll be revisiting our Blind Vice annals often, me thinks, as the movie-star gal knows how to turn off her majorly addictive desires about as well as she knows how to get as high as Amy Winehouse's hair, not to mention boink whomever she damn pleases. I mean, we have one anally retentive train wreck here, babes. Read on...

One Privately Eased Blind Vice

Fake à la Ferocity knows how to have it all. She’s got the fans, the perfect relationship, the career, the love, the adoration, the healed needle marks! What more could a chick want in life? Maybe to hold onto that existence, perhaps?

When we last spoke of Ms. F, everybody was gossing in overdrive because she was so painfully thin. And, you know, most folks thought it was starvation stuff and the honey-doll just wasn’t eating much. Not true. F2 was shooting up with the best of ‘em, and, trust, plenty of H-wood honey-pies are on heroin right now. I mean, forget closeted fagolas—that’s the real dirty secret in this town, for now, at least.

But Fake à la needed to get off the hard stuff for a variety of reasons, family and Biz included. Firstly, she’s done it before. Secondly, she’s not stoopid; Ms. Ferocity knows damn well if she keeps up the drugs like most of her addicted colleagues have, she’ll say buh-bye to everything she’s nabbed. F.F. has no intention of pulling a Belushi, I assure you. And that is why Fake à la employs some of Hell-Ay’s fanciest docs, their specialty being weaning famous folks off drugs via synthetic goodies that’ll make anybody’s bad day a tad more doable. Roughing in rehab? No, babes, that’s for the little people.

However, there does lie a small kink in this elite, indulged sitch, prob being Ferocity’s docs think their client’s intending to quit for good. Uh, yeah. She’ll do that about as soon as she stops screwing whomever she pleases. See, the cleaning up’s only for F2’s current activities, babes. Then it’s right back to anorexia rumors, count on it.

And it ain't: Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd

Below is the first BV about FALF, from June 2007:

Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity...the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin' while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least. Lately, F2's once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn't the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned 'bout our gal Fakey. See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags...until recently. She's known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin' heretical here in lip-cemented T-town! Apparently, Ms. Ef's hiding one helluva secret. And I'm the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers 'n' shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She's got what's known as...a heroin habit. Well, she's hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It's just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin' broad happens to be as of late. Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what's really behind Fake-à-la's rapidly withering figure? It'll be "Paris who?" should that happen, trust.

And It Ain't: Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley

* These BVs are both suspected to be: Angelina Jolie. *

Excluded as of 2/18/09: Heather Locklear, Whitney Houston, Ashley Judd, Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa, Kiera Knightley, Madonna, Jenna Jameson, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Sharon Stone, Jessica Simpson, Madonna, Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley, Jenna Jameson, Victoria Beckham, Nicole Richie, Jennifer Garner, Drew Barrymore, Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth, Charlize Theron, Mary Kate Olsen, Melanie Griffith, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Felicity Huffman, Ashley Olsen, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Connolly, Kate Bosworth, Kirsten Dunst.

Here is the link to the other (3rd) FALF BV from Nov 21 '08.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Page Six- Just Asking: 6.26.08

WHICH hotel in Beverly Hills is being used for porn shoots? Businessmen across the street say they can't get any work done because they're too busy looking at the action.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

NYDN Blind Item 6.22.08

From New York Daily News Full Disclosure, just read this today but column dated 6/22 -
Which A-list actor, who yells from the rooftops that he is straight, approached a male Off-Broadway star in a bar and offered to pay him big bucks to watch him and another dude get it on in the rest room?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Page Six-Just Asking: 6.24.08

June 24, 2008 -- WHICH billion-heir celebrated his 27th birthday at Nobu 57 the other night by canoodling with a woman about 15 years older than himself who used to be his baby sitter?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Page Six Magazine-Question of the Week

"Which actress, known more for her party-girl antics than her movie career, showed up to a recent fashion event with white powder stuck to her eyebrows and lashes? It could have been makeup..."

Friday, June 20, 2008

Loving Truth, Lies and Ted

Brief interruption from the blind item discussion. I just want to give a shout-out for my love of Ted Casablanca's new show, Truth, Lies, and Ted. Our favorite writer of blind items has his own little show on eonline now, and I am loving it! He films from his home and today's show he was in a speedo. Love it! And you know what, Ted is HOT!
And yes, he has dropped a few hints about some of our favorite BVs. Discussing Jake and Reese's fake relationship (Toothy Tile), and hinting John Mayer "needs to clean up his romance act if he wants to land a nice girl" (Super Duper Cooper).
If anyone hasn't seen it yet, you must. Watch from the Awful Truth page on eonline. There about 5 shows on there and they are only a few minutes long each. Don't miss it!

One PDA Pooftah Blind Vice

New Ted BV

The Sizzling Boys of Summer
OMMG! (That's Oh-My-Mystery-God!, babes), we've got yet another Toothy Tile in the works, how divinely hideous, so check out our sexually outrageous Blind Vice Friday.

Heavy Betting
Oh my, who's the latest closeted Hollywood star putting Toothy Tile's daring public nooky shenanigans to shame? Any guesses on Public Thrust, darlings, our newest boy who likes to do it while everyone watches? Clues comin' up!

One PDA Pooftah Blind Vice

No, not Toothy Tile. For a change. Ever since ol’ Tooth re-recommitted to Gray Goose and they got all hideously domesticated, our double-T seems to have lost his devotion to doing it in every open space he can manage. Like WeHo parking lots and the such. I mean, so many men just have sex the same way they pee, right? Let it fly (whatever the bodily liquid) wherever ya want! Morals be damned, a man’s gotta go—or go-go—when he’s gotta, right?

Right, squeals our latest boy wonder in the annals of Hollywood homosexual clandestine coupling. Dude’s name is Public Thrust. He’s a star of considerable rising proportions, is on some huge-ass projects. Huge. P.T.’s career is certainly humming along just fine, thanks much. And isn’t it fascinating, P.T.’s peeps, who supposedly have his best interests in mind, are doing their best to steer Mr. Thrust away from any gay projects that come dancing his way (‘cause, let’s face it, the guy looks as queer as my hair), all the while Public-babe is hitting some H-town parties that don’t exactly cater to the beer-and-football type o’ guys.

More specifically? Let’s just say that while Thrust’s managers and such are doing their best to keep their star out of anything remotely Brokeback Mountain-esque, P.T.’s performing, quite impressively, I must say, at some H'wood dos where doing each other is the point of the gathering. Orgies, gay ones—in case you’re having trouble reading my totally homo cryptospeak.

You know what this means, don’t you? It’s the same with Toothy. It’s the same with married men who cheat. It’s all about getting caught, in other words. Public, just like Tooth, wants to be found out. They desire to be out. But they just can’t seem to find the guts to do it. So they let their peckers do the walking, or talking, as it were.

Congrats on your Blind Vice badge of Honor, Public! Welcome to the chubby clubby!

And it ain't: Tom Welling, John Krasinksi, David Archuleta

Post your guess in comments!

Update 7/29 - not Edward Norton, Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron, Shia LeBeouf, Chace Crawford, Ben Barnes, James McAvoy, Elijah Kelley, Ryan Seacrest, Emile Hirsch

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Page Six-Just Asking: 6.18.08

June 18, 2008 -- WHICH journalist is being hyperprotective of her new baby? The bundle of joy, recently delivered via surrogate, is kept in a sterile room and visitors are required to shower before seeing the infant . . . WHICH young publicist was about to be fired by a restaurateur, but saved her job by seducing the owner's partner? . . . WHICH portly husband of a superwealthy, older woman misbehaves when his wife leaves their Palm Beach mansion? The cad, who wears a "banana hammock"-type bathing suit, likes to expose himself to attractive female houseguests and have them take photos of him.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Lainey - The Other Woman Doesn't Work

New Lainey!

The Other Woman Doesn't Work

Not that she was destined to become the next Angelina Jolie – not even close – but since B List and reality stars are all the rage these days, who’s to say she would not have had a career revival as the matriarch for a new generation? Or a movie of the week once every few weeks?

The problem is her love life. She is in love with a man who has a wife. A man who comes from a legendary family. A man who is supposed to be a bastion of fidelity, with strong values and a wholesome image. This is not the man who should be carrying on an affair with an actress, hidden away in hotels, picked up on the sly by his security team, given a code name by his people. Her birthday is noted in his assistant’s organiser, it’s as official as it gets, only it’s also the best kept secret, and he intends to keep it that way which is why she’s only allowed to work sparingly. Which means guest appearances only and no long standing commitments, lest she reappear on the radar and invite a little curiosity, potentially blowing their cover.

She lives by his rules because she thinks what they have is real and forever but not surprisingly, he has his eye on someone else. Almost her doppelganger. Some say she will be replaced. Is cheating hereditary?

* Update July 18 - Lainey has eliminated Michael Douglas, Krista Allen, Martin Sheen, Tiger Woods, Tara Reid, Justine Bateman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Minnie Driver, Ben Stiller, Warren Beatty, Jeff Bridges, Jamie Gertz, Nicolas Cage with Tiffani Thiessen, Robert Downey Jr, Dennis Quaid, Donald Trump, Darryl Hannah, Ron Howard, Heather Locklear, Emilio Estevez, Kevin Costner, Tim McGraw, Peter Fonda, Donny Osmond, Al Gore, Sienna Miller, Josie Bissett.

Top suspects: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. & Daphne Zuniga ***

Thursday, June 12, 2008

One Stalled-in-Every Way Blind Vice 6/12/08

New from Ted...

Smells Dishy
Wipe your noses fast, honeys, 'cause Blind Vice Friday has Fart-Coif Cretin doing blow in public and ruining what's barely left of his career—just another day in debauched T-town, I'm tellin' ya!

Ruinous Retard
Oh dear, as if Fart-Coif Cretin hasn't already alienated enough factions in this town (not to mention the world), the pitiful pooftah seems now hell-bent on snorting, sealing and delivering himself right into oblivion, so sad. But, not really. He's hilariously hideous!

One Stalled-in-Every Way Blind Vice
He’s in the bathroom doing coke, and he will not come out!” screamed exhausted old colleagues of Fart-Coif Cretin, who used to be a mucho famous member of a celebrated Hell-Ay comedy house. And just to torture his former fellow actors, Fart-Coif recently decided to revisit the theater where he hasn't exactly been encouraged to perform onstage. Didn’t stop him from pulling a real Morgan Mayhem in the men's room, now did it! 
Similar to our darling Morg, who’s known for not only doing the blow but the ladies, too, when she visits the loo, Fart-Coif leans toward same-sex nookie. But these days, F.C. is so damn effed up, getting it up is about the last thing he’d be interested in accomplishing. So there he is, finally deciding to come out of the john, high as a Kurt Cobain kite. Decides to sit down for the show. Doesn’t listen much. In fact, F.C. ends up disrupting the performances so imppressively he’s kicked out and, now, wholly unwelcome to revisit the comedy theater.
The fact that F.C. raided the fridge, insulted his former TV costars, smoked pot, stole drinks and insulted everyone he came in contact with while there prolly didn’t help, either.
Does Dr. Drew do comics who were never funny in the first place? Have to find out about that one.

And it ain't: David Spade, Chris Rock, Bill Murray

Have an idea for this one. see comments-

*** 7/22 - Ted has revealed what we suspected: Fart Coif Cretin is Andy Dick ***

US Weekly Blind Item

New from Us Weekly - in the issue I received today but dated 6/23:

What hunky and not-so-humble movie star keeps a framed photograph of himself from his extremely successful sword-and-sandal epic on his bedside table?

Crazy Days and Nights - 6/11

Two interesting ones from Crazy Days and Nights yesterday...

#1 - I actually thought this actress already had the herp. Guess I was wrong. It happens. This week, this C list actress who used to be B list and on a hit network show now canceled, with some B+ name recognition filled her first prescription for Valtrex. Not that anyone should ever even contemplate having unprotected sex with her anyway.

#2 - How do I describe this guy? B list actor with a name that seems to cause some confusion. Very little television. Nope this guy is all about films. Big films, Top grossing films, independent films. Great actor but also underrated. Award winning but nothing big. On the set of his newest film he had a little thing going with a co-star. Nothing too blind-itemish about that. The co-star is married so that adds a little spice, but what really makes it blind worthy is the fact that this married B+ list co-star with A name recognition is a guy.

Could be...

Monday, June 9, 2008

Lainey - Why He's Single

Another new one from Lainey today...

It was an unexpected split. Many were led to believe erroneously, me included, that their end had more to do with his machinations than with hers. As it turns out however the reason behind the break up was the dreaded OverReach.

What sent him scrambling were comments like this, dropped casually into conversation:

“I forgot my pill.”

“I’m a few days late.”

And then calling his family, chatting them up, hinting at the prospect of a baby, raising their hopes that a grandchild would be in their future.

It’s the betrayal that disappointed him most. Apparently he wasted no time putting an end to her plans, pretty much standing over her while she packed up, sending her away with not even a glance back.

He’s been drowning his sorrows in cocktails ever since. Not alone, of course but it was definitely a disappointment. He’d intended to keep her around for a long time. Especially given the fact that he was still able to have his fun on the side. It’s not every day you find a girl who’s ok with extra curricular activities so long as she’s the only one who gets a set of keys.

In the end though, her greed brought an end to the sweet ride. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel
could stand to learn a thing or two from this example. Overreaching prompts a steep fall.

UPDATE June 11 - Lainey has excluded Kate Hudson.

*** Our top suspect: George Clooney (AKA Cloondog)/Sarah Larson. ***

Lainey - Post Partum Flirtation

New one from Lainey today!

Had a baby not too long ago, supposedly a happy family. But there’s been a little blip. And it’s not just the late nights. Seems she’s been a little bored with domesticity and has had a naughty flirtation. Saucy text messages and heated exchanges, some suggestive touching and closed door petting were spicing up her life but the subject of her giddy infatuation was not the father of her child. They didn’t seal the deal but it came very, very close.

Even worse, he was a friend and a business associate of her significant other who found out about the illicit activity and shut it down quickly, sending angry missives back to the betrayer to “stay the f&ck away” from her. As a result, the dude is out of a job. And, finding himself unemployed, he has saved the email evidence and is threatening to go public, sell them off to one of the rags. Word is they are in the process of paying him off.

She meanwhile is repentant and has redevoted herself to her relationship after groveling successfully for forgiveness.

Crisis temporarily averted…but for how long?

UPDATE June 16 - Lainey has excluded Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek.

*** Our top suspect: Christina Aguilera/Jordan Bratman. ***

Update 10/12/10 - Lainey hints here that this riddle was about Christina Aguilera just as we suspected.

Page Six- Just Asking: 6.9.08

June 9, 2008 -- WHICH star of a new TV hit has Hollywood scrambling to the pharmacy? He's spreading herpes around town like wildfire . . . WHICH gorgeous socialite has a secret side to her sex life? While she's often on the arm of a guy at social functions, we hear she prefers to go home with a lady . . . WHICH hit TV show's cast members are as bad in real life as the characters in the plotline? At a recent party, two of the hot actors held up the bathroom line while cutting their own lines in the stalls.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

NY Post from 6/3

Our reader Sherry wanted our thoughts on this one that we skipped...

Page Six Just Asking
June 3, 2008 --
WHICH movie mogul must rein in his overly flirtatious girlfriend, who's ticking off Hollywood wives? At a recent party in Cannes, the wife of a billionaire director/producer told the mogul, "Get your girlfriend away from my husband" . . .
WHICH magazine editor evicted his hottie tenant from his downtown Manhattan pad because he suspected she was doing drugs and entertaining men for extra cash?

Friday, June 6, 2008

One Headline-Hereditary Blind Vice

New BV from Ted...

Packin' the Heat
Salacious sibling rivalry hits our weekly Blind Vice with newbie Pork-Me Pop-Off poised to overtake (via sex, natch) his sister's headlines.
Family Chatters

What's a poor, relatively unnoticed rich-ass T-town bro to do when his sensational sis grabs all the attention? Well, Pork-Me Pop-Off chooses a tried but true approach: sleeping with shocking bed partners (not to us, mind you)!

One Headline-Hereditary Blind Vice

Pork-Me Pop-Off, a veritable newbie to the barracuda-infested world of boldface names and gossip slinging, is poised to overtake his more famous sibling, Slurpa, an expert at infamy and clandestine canoodling. Only Pork-Me doesn’t really realize the dubious media powers he holds, how naï very sweet!
See, Pork-Me, has had his troubles, too, just like Slurpa. He loves to be bad and lives to be loved, having never really been truly adored. And of course, it’s P.M.’s bad-boy ways that have begun to scratch and gnaw at Ms. Pop-Off’s notoriety, which she holds dearer than anyone or anything. This is not a joke in the least.
But Slurpa has just laughed laughed laughed at her sibling’s arguably pathetic attempts at upstaging her in the real-life episodes of Offspring Gone Wild, T-town’s regular chronicling of who’s acting up the best (and the most expensively). I’ll tell ya this much, though: She ain't gonna be chuckling much longer, as her current, rather tentative hold on the grizzly goss zeitgeist is about to change drastically, once it's revealed Pork-Me’s gal dumped him because she’s sick of him using her to hide something.
Like the fact that he’s gay.
AIA's: Its not Jake Gyllenhaal, Bryan Spears, Ray J
* We know that Slurpa Pop-Off is Paris Hilton, so I am calling this one as Barron Hilton. He had a DUI in February. Anyone know who his "gal pal" is?

*** Top Suspect: Barron Hilton