Monday, July 20, 2009

Ted drops another Toothy hint...

Ted blabbed about Jakey G this past Friday, and drops another hint that he is Toothy Tile...

Do-Me Meter: Jake Gyllenhall's Got Giant Muscles!

First we had Brad Pitt in Troy. Then Colin Farrell in Alexander. Now joining these long-haired hunks with epically pumped pecs in epic pics comes...Jake Gyllenhaal in Prince of Persia!

Almost didn't recognize him without a latte in his hand.

We can barely look away from EW's "first look" sneak pics—but instead of drooling, we can't stop giggling. Beefcaked within an inch of his life, Jakey looks like one of the animatronics from some Gladiator theme park ride—or like he's on the way to a Purim costume party with Dem and Ashton.

So, yeah. We aren't buying this rough-and-tough Gyllenhaal. We much prefer him toned down, all sleek and sensitive. (Though we bet Reese sure doesn't.) I mean, come on, it looks just so,, right?

What do you think?

Love ya Ted!


Martin Devon said...

Toothy doesn't look too hot as Prince of Persia.

chrissi said...

looks like a weak colin ferell

blurry vice said...

Dear Ted:
I believe that I have finally figured out a B.V.! Toothy Tile is Vin Diesel, as the one clue that you provided was that he has a child. Please tell us!
—Your faithful lesbian reader

Dear InVincible:
No chance! And Toothy is slightly ashamed that you would compare him to such an obnoxious muscleman. Actually, that's a lie."

booyah said...


Ted says Toothy has been outed from the poll, yet Jakey G is in the poll under white breading boring.

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
In the middle of this Twilight mania, how does Toothy Tile cope with being dumped and replaced by a hotter man like Rob? Does he just deal with it with more photo ops with the beard to stay relevant?

Dear Prince Tile:
Oh, I'm sure Toothy has a secret copy of Twilight stashed in his pad. And that's to gawk at R.Pattz, not K.Stew. "

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
When I saw the headline in your latest Bitch-Back! I got so excited! When did Jake G. start to suck? I thought finally we get some real answers! Such a tease, Ted.

Dear Double Entendre:
What exactly are you getting at?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Awful Truth:
Is there something going on (romantically) between Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard (as weird as that question seems, especially when I type it out). Thank you kindly!
—Kansas Girl

Dear Gross:
Jake and his brother-in-law? Jake's a lot of things, but incestuous he is not."

"Dear Awful Truth:
Do Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal have a lot in common? Just curious.

Dear Jack Attack:
Sure they do. Wait...what are you getting at?"

blurry vice said...

"Dear Ted:
Why is Jake Gyllenhaal looking so bad and angry lately? He looks as if he is sad about something or feeling jealous.

Dear Duh:
Yeah, it's this thing called a career."

blurry vice said...

again today, mentioning prince of persia -